Chapter 8 - Yulena the Gnome
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I had gotten a few things together for the meeting with the Guildmistress of the gnomes. I had the usual ominous cloak, but I had the skeletons get together the less-ominous carriage with some actual horses instead of undead ones. What can I say? I can appreciate someone who not only schedules a meeting with me instead of running up to my doorstep, but also respects the concept of tea. Respect for respect.
I check in with Nitka early on for a quickie and a question. When I inquire about the eggs she laid in the basement/dungeon, she saw right through me and snickered. "I won't become a mother until my master gets a tyma gland," she teased, poking me in the ribs with her dull claws. They're apparently just a natural process with with kobolds, much like chickens. They'll come out whether they're fertile or not. I accept a few when she helpfully offers them for breakfast another day.
There aren't a ton of gnomes that live in my territory. They had started out as a few kidnapped scientists and inventors back when the terrible what's-his-name lived here. Dwarves and gnomes tended to get along great, because they both had their own little secrets and traditions to forging and building things, so they had formed a sizeable laboratory/observatory a little ways up the mountains where they could trade whatever they needed between them.
I honestly hadn't heard a word from them since I started as new management. There was some passing mention of them in the old overlord's journals, but I had scoured what I could from them and burned the rest pretty quickly. It was really just a lot of ego, vengeance plots and doodles of needlessly elaborate designs for homunculi and booby traps. The best I can figure, the gnomes were his brains for hire, and when he wasn't asking for some kind of doomsday machine, they were free to work on whatever they saw fit to serve him.
The horse and carriage made its way with some caution up the mountainside before it reached their lab. It was something like a very large inn built into the mountain, with numerous thick and ornate support beams mounting it against the stone. A huge telescope poked out of the top, with a number of large gears and devices that implied it could move however they pleased. I had read a little about them, and while I was interested to see what it could do, I wasn't clear how many a telescope bigger made it any more useful.
The wooden door opened automatically when I step into knocking range, and the small folk were busy at work on all sorts of devices. Have I mentioned that gnomes look absolutely precious? They're just a bit on the pudgy side with stubby limbs, wide eyes, short but strong fingers, broad ears and fat noses. Their big fluffy hair comes in these bright colors as if evolution was trying to wipe them out by when their tiny builds made them too good at hiding. Overall, it makes them look like someone tried to build a stuffed animal caricature of a human to sell to alien beings.
"Mornink, sir," drawled a portly male with a toxic-colored green ponytail and tiny, precisely trimmed moustache. He had his goggles on as he welded what looked like a clockwork bird, but I didn't see him look up from his work. His accent was familiar, but only one I've picked up from foreign traders rather than a place I've been. A few more of them piped up with the same as I let myself in, seeing as none of them feel like paying attention to me yet. I let them busy themselves as I inspected the place, loaded with works of bronze and iron and wood, primarily. There's some bits of chain or wire that I was not sure what they do, but curiosity made me flick a dangling chain.
"PLEASE do not touch that!" yelped a comically squeaky female voice. She sounded like a short woman trying to do an impression of a child. Her hair was a shade of pink normally reserved for cotton candy and exotic flowers, hanging over her forehead that it veiled her eyes. The spectacles on the tip of her nose were the only sure sign I had that she actually had eyes. She wore a thick smock, tiny spectacles, and work gloves. While her little limbs made running impractical, she did her best to waddle up to me and reach fruitlessly towards my hand. Gnomes tend to push three feet tall on a good day. There was no way she could reach, let alone stop me.
"So that's what I need to get some proper attention," I chuckled over the constant clink, hiss and buzz of metal work, steam and electronics. "Would you know where to find Guildmistress Yulena? I have a meeting." I folded my hands patiently as I smiled down at her, but my eyes seemed to fail at catching her caramel-colored face. I looked that inch or so lower, as her smock was tugged on very tightly for the sake of safety regulations, I'm sure. It worked a lot like a corset in that it pushed her breasts up higher, making them overflow her shirt AND smock like an overdone souffle. She didn't seem to notice my stare as she itched her bangs, just to have to fix her glasses right after.
"Yes. That would be me," she said, sounding a bit exasperated rather than proud. "Right this way. My office will be a lot more suitable than this." She led me through the little workshop of gnomes in various shapes, garbs and accents with their casual "Morning, sir"s. Some wore greasy work clothes while other flame retardant smocks or simple lab coats that had come into fashion among surgeons and doctors.
"Quite a gathering of the minds, eh?" I asked as she reached her door. A little plaque of her name was carefully hand-carved and mounted beside it in bronze. "I heard accents from Fore and Oetheir in particular."
"Donull is from Pruska. He's new," Yulena said as she produced a key from between her bosom. She undid the lock on the door... then got another key and undid another. This went on for about five locks. "Cameli is from Yine and Totsa's father was from Breen. It was your predecessor's decree that at our discretion, we could hire on brilliant minds from other regions, so long as they were cooperative and... morally questionable. But as they started to run out, we resorted to other means of production." She finally opened the door, the office rather grandiose. It had several bright and clean windows across from a long desk that was half paperwork and half tools. A huge map of the world as we knew it was up on the wall, right next to a long ladder than ran up it. Several notes were pinned to various countries and kingdoms, some of which I noticed resembled bombs or boats. There's a small wooden model of an airship dangling by a thick piece of thread from the ceiling. A few pressurized tubes were at one side of the room, with cylinders for messages to be passed through beside them. In one corner, a busty little gnome with a similar build but bright green eyes and banana-yellow hair that stuck straight up sucked absentmindedly on something copper.
"Juna!" Yulena barked and stormed into the room. Her little legs were not built for storming. "How did you even get in here?! And I told you to stop sucking on that static chargers!"
"But it makes my teeth tingle!" Juna objected as she scrambled up to her feet. Yulena grabbed some rolled up scroll and whacked her on the head until she scampered out the door, bouncing off of my leg on the way and hardly seeming to notice.
"Pardon my sister," Yulena sighed as she wheeled out her chair from her desk. "She was one of the later generations." I sized up the few comfortable chairs in front of her desk and pick the one that seems the most human-shaped. It's one of the larger ones.
"You say generations," I started cautiously. "And 'means of production,' was it?" She nods. "So you've been breeding rather than recruiting?"
"Hands are the greatest resource, Lord William," she confirmed. She pressed a buzzing button on her desk and a few more panels of wood popped out of it. There were some cups attached by what seem to be magnets by how little they moved. "If we're to produce more ideas and raise productivity, we need hands. And that means producing them faster than..."
"They die?" I offered.
"Blow up, usually. Safety is one of the few perks of this position," Yulena sighed. She fixed her glasses again and undid her smock now that she's in her seat, and her breasts absolutely flop down into her simple blouse as if they had lost a support beam. "Say what they will about gnomes, we are a productive people."
"Obviously. I've never seen half of these things this close before," I praised. The door opened again as another stubby little lady came in lugging a tea kettle with both hands. She hefted it onto the table, not looking especially heavy at a glance. She pushed a key into it and cranked it so that the kettle whistled, stood up on little metal legs, and trotted over to the cups to start pouring. A little tray popped out of its "belly" area an offered me a cookie. I took one quietly.
"Thank you, Marisa," Yulena dismissed. The gnome server saluted against her long orange hair and marched out proudly. "Sisters. What are they for if not giving them comfy jobs to keep them out of trouble?" she said with a nervous laugh.
"Big family, eh?" I asked with a smile.
"Six little sisters," she sighed, running a hand through her hair. It brushed back her bangs to show a her eyes, one bright blue and the other red (but both huge and adorable). "Each one a little more cracked than the last. Incest will do that to you."
I snorted a little as I almost choke on some tea. "You've been up here that long?"
"We've needed to do the work that badly! The prior lord was clear that whatever production we needed was to be done by trusted sources, and to generate as many prototypes as possible! It was a dream, until we all had so many ideas we didn't have enough to make them all at once." She threw up an exasperated hand towards a nearby calendar, with notes scrawled in so tiny it looked like a single solid color in each day.
I settled down and sipped my tea. My gaze must have softened, because she smiled when I noticed the taste of the honey. Boiled right into the tea. "Couldn't you have saved them for later? Focused on one?" I proposed. Yulena stared before giving me a rather strained smile, as if I had offended her and she was too afraid to show it.
"Well... sir. Gnomes hold the philosophy that thoughts are like living things... more like fruit or... trees! Yes, a lot like trees!" she said, as if excited to have an actual point. "They grow inside us and bear fruit, and that is what we consider ideas, inventions, feelings... things that manifest in the real world. Each idea that doesn't quickly become a blueprint or a sculpture or what have you is... rotten. It lacks the inspiration that created it and may diminish if you don't pursue it fast enough. A dream that escapes you when you wake or a flash of genius you recall but you forget to install brakes on it. It's why we needed more hands to create with, and why my father shacked up with a half-dozen women. Some of which were technically his cousins by the time we needed another."
I bit back my amusement. "So... dragons, you say?" I tried to save her the effort of redirecting the conversation.
"Yes! We had laid eyes on it several days ago but wanted confirmation and a presentable report when we contacted you!" Yulena pushed her hair from her eyes, just for it to fall back into place when she unfurled a scroll with a sketch of their dragon. A big spikey thing, heavy in build. There was a gnome doodled next to it for scale, but while flying and lacking knowledge on the standard gnome size (Yulena here was a bit past 2 and a half by my guess), it didn't indicate much. "We have a few teams prepping for it. We're planning on options including short-range aircraft, gunpowder bombs, and mithril shells in muskets and cannons. One of those should-"
"Hold on now," I urge, sliding the picture close to study it. The traits were all there of a dragon, but something seemed off to me. It wasn't rampaging or breathing flame. It looked lazy... bored. There was a distinct expression of it glancing around that showed the human capacity for boredom rather than just some beast chewing on grass. "Do we know it's hostile?"
"We know it's a dragon," Yulena confirmed, tapping the picture a few times rapidly. "So basically, yes. We have good reason to suspect."
I rub my chin as I finish my glass of tea. The clockwork pot came over to refill me. "Tell me... did you share this idea with the others in the lab?"
"Only what do to," Yulena sighed. She slid back into her chair and rubbed her face. "Unfortunately, I am in a position of leadership up here as my father's eldest child. That leaves me to make the judgement calls and just tell them what to do and what to make."
I started to weigh a few things around in my head. "Alright... then don't plan an attack." Her head perked up a bit; I was pretty sure she raised her eyebrows underneath those curtain of bangs. "Observe and report. I'll handle it myself when it arrives."
"But… but, sire!" she babbled as that hyper panic energy came right back.
"William works fine, thanks," I say.
"Sir!" she corrected (incorrectly). "I need to do this! Or, at least, I'm needed for this. This is the status quo! I am the lever! Without my direction, my gears don't turn! The factory shuts down! I'm... I'm needed in this position! It's my responsibility!"
"Not anymore. Let them make the weapons if you want, but I'm not that worried yet. That's already pretty well-scheduled, by the look of things. Maybe we'll find a use for them later." I snapped my fingers and a small notebook came into my hands by magic. I flick over the notes lazily. "Now if you're able, I think the minotaurs have figured out how to disable some traps we can transport to you for parts... and the dwarves wondered if you could create something for farming mass crops more easily..."
Yulena cupped her hands over her mouth in a moment of shock. She sat back into her seat hard enough for it to creak and her breasts to jiggle around on her stumpy body. "Sir, I don't... oh wow." She grabbed a narrow pencil, turning around and frantically erasing a few lines on her calendar. "That was going to be most of my days! Prep work and consultation and I was planning on needing approval for shipment and processing..." She let out a small, cracking laugh in her tiny voice. "You've practically cleared up my week."
I found it hard to believe, but there was some actual white on that calender all of a sudden. "I mean, dealing with one dragon can do that to your schedule, I guess," I joke modestly, but I start to smile. "So your work's just become child's play, has it? Even with the workload I'm asking?"
"Farming equipment's rudimentary, as is disassembly. Much simpler than developing anti-dragon weaponry. Even the uneducated can farm with a proper understanding of timing and the elements, so automating that to literal clockwork should be fairly simple." Yulena was beaming beneath her veil of hair. "I could leave that to the middle management for a few weeks easily to start catching up on paperwork. After that, I might even have some rec time to start my own projects."
"About that… how would you consider your networking capabilities right now? In terms of the other races?"
Her expression drooped as she thought. "I'd say crude, at best. There's some open and steady trade routes with the dwarves, but that's just…" She snapped her strong and short fingers a few times to a rhythm. "Automation. Constant income unless we have a special request. The others probably barely know we're up here."
"So you could use someone handling your public relations. I have a sort of..." I thought back to my last several weeks of threesomes, quickies, and diplomatic adventures. "...project going on. I've already got the orcs cooperating with the dwarves and goblins, and the minotaurs have finally opened trade with the world outside their maze."
Yulena tapped a finger thoughtfully on her desk. "I couldn't leave my current position, tough. I'd have plenty to oversee in everyday life..."
"You'd be in contact with them as well as the other races as you see fit. And if I'm not mistaken, you have a council of inbred siblings who can supervise in your absence that you've been giving busywork to. You did say that it would be simple to follow your schedule with the work I cleared up for you."
Yulena frowned in concentration and picked up a leather stress ball from her desk. She gave it a squeeze and what looked like steam shot out of a few narrow slits. "I can accept that... with one condition."
"I'm sure I can manage." I did run a very small country's worth of land, monsters and resources, after all, not to mention the world-bending powers.
"I need breeding." She looked perfectly serious, as if she were asking for a ten-percent raise. I snickered at that, but otherwise kept a straight face. "I understand that our kind has a reputation as a bunch of mad scientists, but i could use more scientist and less mad around here. Research and history has shown that while we don't create crossbreeds, were related closely enough that we can create more gnomes via human and dwarf insemination."
"That," I cut in. "And you have free reign on research and development when I don't have any urgent projects in mind. Then I'd be glad to make a persona donation, and I'm sure I can find some willing to contribute to your cause."
Yulena slapped a hand down on her desk with a sense of finality. "Deal! When do I start?"
"Effective immediately, or as soon as you can."
"Sounds perfect. I can write a..." I leaned over her short desk and kissed her on the mouth. Her lips dropped open in an act of willingness and surprise as I hold it there for a few seconds. She pulled back with a high-little gasp. She blushed so hard it cleary went up past her hanging bangs. "Oh! You meant starting the breeding..."
"I mean all your duties, if that works for you."
Yulena looked around, biting her lip like she's trying not to grin and failing. "No, no, this works fine. I always wanted to do it on this stupid desk." She swept a few papers and trinkets aside and climbed onto the desk, standing up to kiss me again so I can sit upright. I took hold of her hips and adored how they felt beneath my fingers. Gnomes had tha soft and plush look to them, but their muscles were wound tight and dense beneath all that. It left her with an ass underneath her dress that let you really dig in while still finding some rewarding end to it.
Yulena had to lean up to kiss me if I say fully upright, but her hands were in just the right place. She nimbly unbuttoned my pants and helped me out of my robe while I lifted the dress off of her. The pink-headed gnome was still wearing some thick leather undergarments, but she hit a switch on the back of her bra strap. There was a series of clicks as it unbuckled itself, letting her breasts drop even further than before. While round, upturned and perky, they were bigger than her head.
And very sensitive, apparently. She let out this excited little squeak when I touched them, hard nipples poking out at my palms before long. I found the squeaks would keep on coming as I kissed around her neck and slid off her panties, which certainly helped with my "toy versions of humans" comparison. It was cute to find that her slit was tight and compact as the rest of her, but with a thick pink cotton ball of fluffy pubic hair right at the peak. I lifted her up and laid her on the desktop, planting a kiss just next to the puffy pink bush. She giggled and squirmed, which let to another interesting discovery around her groin. Her thick little legs were even more dense with muscle, bulging in a way I'd expect from a wandering barbarian (or at least Baruun) when she tensed up.
Yulena was still making her squeaks and squeals of delight as I kept up my kisses, but I brushed aside some of the hair out of her face. Her mismatched eyes looked back down at me and she blushed even heavier than she had when I was eating her out or promising to breed her. I could only guess eye contact is a bigger deal for her than sex. It took her awhile to form a tiny smile as her eyes focused on me. I adjusted her generous ass against the edge of the desk so I could slide inside and started the deed proper.
"Yowch!" Yulena jumped as I barely got my dick's head inside of her. I glanced up at her distressed expression, but she brings up a quick smile again. "Sorry. Just a bad position. Go ahead."
I pull back and start to push in further... and can't. I'm only an inch or two inside and I'm met with some solid resistance of flesh and muscle. Yulena blushed beat red and cleared her throat as we exchanged awkward glances. "Sorry. I should have mentioned," she noted carefully. "Human gnome interbreeding is recorded by history and research... not experience. I wasn't expecting humans to be so... oddly proportioned." It occured to me that I didn't have much to envy about a the male gnomes in the locker room.
"I understand. I'm used to my smaller partners having a bit more give than this," I admitted.
"I do have a number of devices for indirect insemination," Yulena offered helpfully in her shrinking voice. "But I was hoping for a more... direct approach." Her strong legs lifted up and rubbed at my shaft from either side. I let out a long sigh as I leaned on her cushioning breasts, finding out that those legs were almost as capable as her hands for intimate work. My cockhead is still barely inside her, but she has me getting harder with her casual footjob.
"Well you're doing a very good job," I said, slipping back out of her before I risk popping the poor girl. Yulena sat back up, all while keeping her capable little feet locked around my cock to keep me from pulling too far back.
"We do aim for efficiency," she chimed as she nestled my dick between her breasts. "Of course, I'd have to inspect the sample for quality before I used it anyway..." She removed her feet from my shaft just to replace them with her hands. I immediately shivered as even warmed up as I was, her hands are warm and powerful without being outright crushing. Her fingers stroke and press individually rather than together which has me leaning on her shoulders just to stay up. Despite the size difference, she seems perfectly alright with that.
"Brag all you want, big guy," Yulena purred in her high little voice. "But all that extra length just takes up more space. It makes all your sweet spots that much more obvious." She handles my shaft like she's operating some complex clockwork device, and damn if she's not just as good at it. She played me like an instrument while her feet lightly cup my balls, all while I'm carefully fitted between her big warm breasts. The initial modesty vanished quickly as she finds her own pace and works my cock in a way I didn't know you could with a set of hands. I think she saw that I was losing a lot of the confident composure from before, and she's happy to capitalize.
While her pussy proved too small to fit, her mouth proved to be plenty big. She noisily kissed and sucked on the tip that poked out through her breasts, and when I brushed the hair out of her eyes she glanced up at me and smiled without releasing my cockhead, drooling a mix of saliva and precum from the edges of her tightly sealed mouth (in a way that had to be intentional, in hindsight). It was the last straw on her multi-pronged attack on my dick, and she knew it. I tensed up as she pulled back, letting me cum all over the front of her body. It spilled heavily over her breasts, a spurt or two streaking over her face. Yulena never even flinched as it ran down her face and stomach, a human-sized load enough to cream over most of her front.
Yulena watched steady and snatched up a jar from her table, scooping from of my cum into it before sealing it up. "I'll have a better look at it in my lab later, but I think it'll do the trick." She licked some off her fingers and seemingly glad to let my mess linger on her skin. She'd mention that working with a lot of oil and grease made this one of the least messy activities she'd enjoyed.
"If it's any help," I offered breathlessly. "I've impregnated an orc already." Yulena raised her eyebrows, studied my semen, then started to rub it further into her pussy.
"Potent. Much appreciated. I'm sure my sisters would like a sample as well sometime."
"If I have some drink and a rest, I'm sure I can get you more," I chuckled. "Were you alright?"
"Hm? Oh, yes! Just a bit excited! I've been so caught up with work lately that sex hasn't really crossed my mind in a long time."
"Then I'd better capitalize before you get too busy." I took her by the hips and pulled her closer as I went to my knees. I couldn't even fit all of my tongue inside Yulena, but it's enough to make her squeal like a squeaky toy and tense up.
"Ohhh busted bolts!" she shouted like a curse, clumsily pushing aside her jar of my semen sample. I can feel her heels kick at my shoulders with more surprising strength as she's probably more filled up than ever, my softer and more flexible tongue fitting more comfortably than a stiff hardon. "Rust and slagging fuck, yes! Keep going, sir! Please!"
Yulena keeps thrashing, pseudo-swearing and arching her back as far as what little it could go. She was going mad with arousal in no time as I easily found her little raisin of a clit and bullied it around with the tip of my tongue. She started squeakily wailing with passion when there came a quiet click in the corner of the room.
"Yulena, Trex wanted to see if we could get the go-ahead on-" another shrill voice started from the doorway.
"Dammit, Lizzy! I am in a MEETING!" Yulena barked passionately.
"Yeaaaa, I'll just come back later." Her sister slowly slid the door shut as Yulena started to gasp and shake. The outburst wasn't just from impatience as her already tense and tiny pussy clenched around my tongue even tighter. I can only flex and curl my tongue with that cramped space, but it's enough for her to groan and hump against my face. At last, she gives off this high, shrill giggle as she shudders from a huge, shaking orgasm. It's kind of funny how after having such gushing orgasms from minotaurs and orcs I got this little eyedropper's worth of cum out of her. The whole while she kept on giggling in her high-pitched voice, sounding like a drunk fairy as she started rolling side to side.
"Stop! Stop! Okay!" she laughed. "I can't take anymore!" She's still going when she finally flops onto her side, pushing her sweaty hair out of her face. "Wow, I missed that."
"Used to fool around on the job, huh?" I asked as I wiped my mouth. Her sweet juices replaced any flavor I would have had found of my own that she'd rubbed into her.
"Let's just say that it was a crowded room for me and my sisters, and incest is still a known problem in the corporation." Yulena sighed as I kissed her inner thigh lightly. I slid up to drape myself over her, and she gladly latches onto me for some cuddling. "This is way more satisfying though. A lot more fun too. I still can't remember the last time I gigglegasmed."
"You what?"
"I know, you humans call it an orgasm. It's a colloquialism."
I had to ask. "Are you going to do that every time we do this?"
"Of course. It's a surge of pleasure to the brain and gnomes evolved beyond sex as a simple source of please when it's actually an evolutionary reward system for a means of reproduction. A gnomish female gigglegasm is all reward, because while it increases..."
I realized then that I had gained a portable, adorable encyclopedia and expert member of middle management who had squeaky laughter when she came. It would probably take her a little while to unwind, but the Guildmistress was clearly going to be a lot of fun.
"So, if I may... what are your plans?" Yulena asked after her quick lesson on evolutionary anatomy.
"Lots of sex and comfortable living," I confess. "This whole place can run itself so long as there's one person to nudge things in the right direction."
"I meant for the dragon, sir."
Oh right. There was that. "I'll handle it personally. Size isn't too much of a threat to a powerful enough mage. Besides..." I gave my new gnome a pinch on the ass that made her giggle again. "I've had very good luck with females of another species lately."
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Chapter 9 - Umrik the Dragon
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There's a lot more species going on in my territory than I thought there would be when I first entered it. I had decided that I'd hiked around for long enough. Money was no object when you could summon and alter materials at will (like that time I bought a week at an inn by turning a handful of gravel into gold), and your feet didn't get tired when you could fly when you wanted. It was never boring seeing the world this much, but it was lonesome and draining. I'll never get how adventurers do it.
I wasn't exactly willing to give up my powers and go back to being a normal person either. I could have wiped a few minds and lived in a village as a tanner or a cook, or something equally boring and barely significant. That would mean taking orders, and any of my teachers could tell you how bad I was at that. They pressed the fundamentals for another few months, even when I had mastered the fundamentals and was already casting spells above their knowledge. I wanted my privacy while still being of some importance, but I didn't want to just blow up a castle and dethrone some perfectly hapless and beloved king. I'm power hungry, sure, but I'm lazy and have at least a bit of a conscience.
So that was how I got to be in my tower. Someone was spreading the rumor of a great and terrible wizard in a tower by the forbidden lands of the west. I assume they were hoping some greedy or overly righteous blowhard would gather a party of various races and professions to storm the place, wipe out the wicked creatures living there and make life a lot easier for them by not having to worry about the orcs and goblins living next door. They probably didn't expect a solitary young man to go in, put a few ogre sentries to sleep with a snap of my fingers, blow away a small platoon of orcs with a flick of my wrist, burst into flames to scare away a few nosy goblins, and float to the top of the tower where I defected a few death spells and blew the mad old mage up into a handful of ashes that were lost in the wind. They hadn't expected a mad tyrant to be dethroned by a much more powerful and more laid back one, and I still have to shoo away the occasional adventurer hoping to get their hands on something shiny and magical. You'd think by now I'd have run into at least one that was a cute but loyal redhead with a thing for chainmail bikinis... the last warlord had a head torturer and everything, but me...
"LORD WILLIAM! I ARRIVE AT THE BECK AND CALL OF YOUR LATEST MISTRESS AS PER YOUR INSTRUCTIONS, SIR!" Marcus threw off my blankets and saluted as I groaned and rolled out of bed. It was early for me, but I'd gotten extra sleep just in case this would happen. It had been a few days since Yulena had arrived at the tower, and she had the most convenient little time-keeping device that she practically lived by. I have no idea how they made clocks so damn tiny, but leave it to a gnome.
"So she was right? The dragon's entered our territory?" I asked. I got out of bed and pulled on a comfy shirt and pants before getting the ominous robe out of my ominous robe closet. That was another convenience about settling down; no more carrying around and washing my own ominous hooded robes.
"LOOKOUTS REPORT THAT IT WILL BREACH IT WITHIN MOMENTS, WELL OUT OF OUR REACH AT THE FOREST BENEATH THE MOUNTAINSIDE."
Yulena pushed open my door, the little gnome in a corseted dress and her bangs over her face as usual. She has a pair of mugs in hand that I can tell must be the morning tea. I nod to her and gesture at Marcus. "Tell the staff to get my breakfast ready early. Anything quick and filling with butter on it."
"I SHALL DELIVER YOUR MESSAGE AT ONCE OR DIE TRYING, MY GLORIOUS SIR!"
"No… no need. Just deliver it," I urged him levelly. Marcus saluted and tromped out past the gnome as she shook her head at him.
"I will never get used to him," she muttered as she set my tea on the table.
"Neither will I," I admitted. I lifted her up to the edge of the bed and set her next to me as we started to drink together. I had asked the girls to let me sleep alone the night before. Any mage will tell you how meditation is a must for spellcasting, but I never got very big on it. I just make the most out of my quiet alone time, watching the skeletons work or just having a hearty breakfast. A deep sleep fixes just about everything, as far as I'm concerned, so maybe they were just faking the meditation to sneak in a nap.
"So what's your plan?" Yulena asks while I take a quick warm drink.
"I'm in a good mindset," I answer simply. "Slept, filled my belly, and rings of fire protection and armor skin." They're hanging on the edge of my belt, out of sight under my cloak, so they're not easy targets. "If it's already flying, then it's probably a better morning person than I am, so hopefully it's willing to listen."
"So that's it? You're just... gonna do it? That's your whole plan."
"It works more often than you think. At least for me. Fortune favors the bull and all that. That and I've picked up a few tricks lately that should make me more omnipotent than usual." My studies with Nocutia and None haven't exactly awakened new powers in me, but another person and specie's perspective on magic is interesting to hear. None says that goblins look at it as a gift from goddesses, and the d'ruava consider it a kind of poison in everyone's veins that can be controlled like a scorpion's stinger. They fascinating to keep in mind, and visualizing is key in a lot of magic.
Yulena shares some of my oatmeal when the skeletons arrive, and I'm off flying out my window. The beasts as long as three good-sized carriages as she flies, somewhere between two or three stories tall standing. She looks a bit off from the textbook dragon; much less feral-looking and less of an elongated neck. Her face is a bit more flat, though it still possesses those wide-set eyes and an almost canine muzzle. Navy blue scales cover her back and limbs. Beneath that is a paler, pinkish underbelly and breasts that look large even when taken to scale. Back-swept horns top her head with a short mane of hair before breaking into spikes that go down a long whip-like tail. Between her wings is a rather huge piece of fabric, perhaps an old tarp or the remains of some ancient tapestry. It hangs around her almost like a shawl, hanging over her shoulders and at least making a modest attempt to cover her breasts.
I flew up beside the dragon, modifying the spell a bit to resist the winds that come off from her great and flapping wingspan. "Excuse me," I said conversationally. She didn't respond, so I tried it again a bit louder. When I'm ignored again, I took out my secret weapon. I conjured the staff to my hands, something I hadn't thought to use in years before I noticed None's effective use of it in her shamanistic magic. I don't usually need it, but best safe rather than sorry in my experience. I gave it a small wave as I put up a barrier in the dragon's path, making her bounce off of it like she ran into a giant balloon. She was clearly stunned, as I'm sure dragons aren't used to things being in their way enough to care about them.
"EXCUSE me," I said, adding a bit more volume to my voice with a quick enchantment. I floated up in front of one of her huge, gold-colored eyes, and it moves to assure that I have her attention. "I'm Lord William, master of these lands, and I wanted to ensure-"
I kept talking as she opened up her jaws and blasted me with what appeared to be a blue beam from her mouth. I threw up a hand and deflected it around a magic bubble of a shield, but I could feel a bitter cold go past my fingers. So much for my fire ring. "-if you were going to bring any sort of harm or danger to my land or its people. Okay. Thank you for answering my question."
I killed the flight spell and let myself drop out of the range of her ice breath. I snapped my fingers and aimed the staff at her, making two dozen armored skeletons appear on her back wielding clubs and heavy swords. The weapons didn't really hurt her as they started to swing at everything, but they do the job of making her panic and thrash around until she lands on the ground. Before I could land, I made another broad gesture and suddenly the ground wasn't so far away. I touched down pretty harmlessly considering my slippers were the size of boats and I was suddenly even taller than she is.
She shook off most of the skeletons before she saw what I'd done, starting to suck up another breath. "Nope," I answered quickly, waving the staff and slamming her mouth shut. Steam and mist poured out of her nostrils, but no arctic breath comes my way. She looked puzzled as I lunged in and get her around the neck, wrangling her to the ground like one of the village oafs catching a runaway calf. Her short neck writhed and her tail slapped uselessly against my robe, but I had her mouth sealed with my telekinesis and held her head down by one horn. We kicked up some dust and toppled some trees but I kept her down. Her claws raked at me but they didn't leave anything worse than some scratches from an excited dog.
"I'm sorry, but if you're not willing to listen..." I grunted. Even at my new size, I had to put out some effort to keep her down. I don't get to use a giant growth spell for much these days, so I couldn't help but get my hands dirty. Her big eyes looked up at me suddenly, going wide as she mumbled something through her forcefully clenched teeth. we both freeze for a moment before I gesture with a few fingers without letting go of her neck.
"You speak Common! Thank Tiamat," she sighed in a surprisingly melodic and high voice through a muzzle full of fangs. "What do you have to eat around here? I'm starving."
I hesitated, frowning in thought. "Did you not hear me earlier?"
"I did," she admitted, nodding in my amateur headlock. "It was... 'mummmn mummn, esun damma furra... something like that." I frowned further. I blew a breath against the side of her head curiously. There were some very small flaps a bit like fish scales that tucked back over some narrow and pointed ears in response to the breeze of my breath. She giggled and wriggles more harmlessly in my grasp as if it tickled.
"You can't hear when you fly," I realize out loud, annoyance clear in my voice.
"I guess not? Nobody's usually up high enough to talk to me." Her large and meaty shoulders shrug beneath her wings. "And you've got that tiny human voices... but do you have any food?" she repeated. "I've been in horde and I'm just starving lately."
I sighed and let go of her head, staying close in case she tries anything. I flick the last skeleton off her back and sit cross legged nearby. "I think what we have here is a massive lack of communication... in a very literal sense. Do you mind if I shrink down? This would be a lot easier on the both of us if I did."
The dragoness agreed and I went to my normal size. She lowered her head, her body seeming to shift rather naturally between a bipedal and quadrupedal position (a bit like a giant squirrel, if I had to pin it down). It's a strange experience to be close to a dragon who isn't on a rampage. There's a gentle breeze going back and forth from her nostrils that's really quite refreshing, as if she contained a lifetime's worth of fresh mountain air. I can hear and almost feel the workings of her lungs and other organs, especially when she shifts around, but most of all I can hear her stomach growl.
"What's your name, miss dragon?" I asked. I assumed dragons have names, anyway. With her on the ground it's a little easier for me to hear her, but I find sending her telepathic messages that much easier. No need for a big mouth or little ears when I can send my thoughts.
"Can I have some food?" she asked again, almost turning to a plea.
"I'm handling it. Trust me," I assured her. "First, what's your name?"
"Umrik."
"Very pretty. Sounds faintly dwarvish," I admitted. I raised a hand in a cupping gesture. "So what do you eat?" She looks me over as her eyes widen, and I frown. "Besides humans and intelligent creatures."
"Meat, mostly," Umrik answered. "Some vegetables or plants, but whatever we can fit a lot of. Also, treasure."
"Really?" I snapped my fingers to conjure a cauldron in front of me, fire and all. "I always thoughts dragons kept treasure for themselves."
"Well yea. So we can eat it." She watched me closely as I summoned up a few wrapped packages of meat and a bit of mushrooms and started floating them into the pot.
"You gather it to eat in large amounts?" That would explain a few things, but definitely not all of them. "I've heard gold doesn't taste very good. Is it for digestion?"
Her massive shoulders shrug. I conjure a modest pouch of coins and dump them into the cauldron for good measure. "Dragons tend to sleep a lot, depending on the season. But we wake up periodically, eat a lot, mate, and then sleep until the young are born."
I step back and point the staff at the cauldron. It bubbles briefly before it suddenly expands to the size of a lesser noble's swimming pool beside me. Umrik's eyes widen and she crawls over before dipping her head in and gulping down what's inside. "I've heard of a similar practice with bears, but they only do so because they can't find enough food. Is that what it is? Letting the world restock to feed you again?"
Umrik lifted her head, gulping down a slice of turkey that's now the size of a carpet. "Oh, not at all. Mother never cared about that." She cringed, which was odd to see on her strangely human face. "She was a little self-absorbed, though..."
"I have to ask," I said as I ventured closer. I ran a hand over her scales, and I felt her muscles tense up against even my relatively tiny touch. "Are you a pureblood? You don't seem to fit my knowledge of dragons, what limited information we have available."
"I'm part ogre," she professed quite casually. "They're one of the few things big enough to breed with us." More confusing anatomy. I could have to seen if Nitka knew anything about how dragons worked, but where was the fun in that?
I laughed lightly. "If I didn't know better, I'd take that as a challenge. Is that what brings you out this far?"
"Sort of..." she says more sheepishly. I left to find my own cave this year, and it's my first time waking up from my greater sleep."
"So you're in mating season, as it were?"
"Y-yes. As it were." Dragons don't blush, but there's a distinct tensing of her eyes and her neck twists at an odd angle.
"I see." I roll a few things around in my head. It probably wasn't enough in that cauldron to force a dragon into a food coma, but maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. "I'd like you to hear me out... bears do this greater sleep habit of yours because they are out of food."
"Yes?"
"Yes. And they actively gorge themselves to enter what we humans might call a 'food coma.' So fed and full that they can sleep for months."
"Alright."
"What if you ate more reasonable amounts?" Umrik looked at me with a blank expression for a while. Sometimes she opened her mouth but then shut it again. She tapped a thoughtful claw on the ground, digging a small trench. "Before you ask," I add gently. "I am not saying you're fat. Only that you could enjoy a more responsible and active lifestyle if you didn't just eat yourself silly and then sleep most of your life away." Diplomacy skills at their best, people.
"It would be nice to spend more time awake and doing things… and not hungry…" She took another gulp of the oversized cauldron and licked her lips with a long tongue.
I seemed to have her taking the bait. Unless you're a world-altering level mage, nobody messes with dragons. There have been kingdoms who decided to uproot and relocate rather than deal with dragons. Armies can bring them down with a lot of losses and effort, so nobody really wants to bother. We're just lucky that there aren't many of them and that they prefer to keep to themselves when they can. I'm ESPECIALLY lucky to have one cross my path who's willing to listen to reason.
"I can certainly afford to feed you," I go on. "I know there's a number of caves left in the mountains, by the old emptied dwarf mines. All I'd ask is some of your wisdom and your lending a colossal hand if we should ever face any trouble." Of course with a dragon on land, even fewer people would dare to try crossing into my territory.
"That's very tempting," she said, chewing her lip with her thick fangs. "But there's one more... er, instinct I'd need to take care of. After a greater sleep, we do have the urge to... er..."
"Mate," I explained bluntly. "Trust me. I'm glad to help with that."
The modest look on her face vanishes and she starts to grin. I watch rather stone-faced as Umrik starts to giggle at me. "Seriously?" she asks, eying up the human the that comes up to her thigh at best. "You can't be serious. Ogres are barely big enough to work with us. You can't expect to tell me that you could-"
I decided I was done waiting for her to stop laughing. I could have turned into a giant again, but I felt like that was unnecessary. Also a lot less shocking. Instead I hold a hand out in front of me and start to slowly work my fingers through the air. Telekinesis, or what they more commonly call "mage hand," is one of the first things they teach you how to do. It's always useful for showing your power or just sorting out your library. At this point I'm good enough to extend a sense of touch with it and summon it where I couldn't see.
In other words, I didn't even have touch the young dragon to finger her. She trailed off as her eyes went wide, trying to cross her thick and scaly legs. I flexed and spread my fingers, finding her anatomy to be very human on the inside. Much larger, of course, but with all my experience from my harem of representatives, it just makes her that much easier to navigate. The big dragoness is soon curled up on her side and mewling as her tail lashes behind her.
"Ohhhh what are you doing?" she moaned pleasantly. Her cool breath blew back my robe as she gave off an especially heavy grunt. Her virginal noises were curious to hear from such a large body, but they didn't surprise me in particular. It was her first mating season, after all, so I didn't imagine she experienced anything sexually before.
"I think you forget what I'm able to do," I told her sternly. I walked fearlessly up to her squirming body and brushed aside the heavy cloth that covered her chest. Sure enough, there were thick pink nipples poking out of their centers. I brushed my hand over it while the other started to rub and squeeze her oversized clit. It was thick and wet, and felt like it was the size of my forearm. She's grinding her clawed feet at the ground as if trying to crawl away but her body won't let her, digging up deep grooves in the dirt.
"And I can do terrible things to you," I go on, giving her nipple a pinch. It's incredibly satisfying to see such a colossal woman give a euphoric whine and arch her back. Her wings spread like a canopy over us as I see her tail raise in the air. Probably an instinctive reaction to encourage a male dragon. "But I would much rather make you feel good. You're a powerful and intimidating... 'young' woman. I'd hate for you to waste your potential by spending your life eating and sleeping. I want you to feel more..." I wiggle my fingers, teasing over her clitoris like I'm playing a few notes on a piano. "Satisfied with your life."
Umrik's tail whipped along the ground, kicking up dirt as her hips bumped up and down. She let out a long huff of air, spreading frost across a few low bushes. Her big eyes rolled over to look at me and I flash her a small smile while I continue to manipulate my fingers, and her along with it. "I... I'd love it," she muttered sheepishly. "I... it feels so good... please..." Umrik dug her claws into the dirt, bracing herself rather than turning restless. She's developing several sizeable puddles under her raised hindquarters, which is promising signs that she was already aroused from the heat she was in to begin with.
"Please what?" I ask, easing my grip on her. It's hard not to end up a little dom/sadistic when you've got an iron grip on most of the people in your life. Plus Nocutia and I had been fooling around, and that woman rubs off on you...
"Please... I don't know!" she blurted. "I don't know what you're doing! You somehow... I don't know! Read my mind and know more about my body than I do!" The mind reading part wasn't true, but I didn't correct her. "So please just... keep going! Do what you want with me!"
A subby dragon. Who would have thought? I smile and pat her on the nose, which makes her shut her eyes peacefully and spray me with another chilly breeze from her nostrils. "It's okay, dear. I've got you." I considered finishing the job, but as a little extra precaution I stepped beside her head rather than in front of her mouth. I leaned a hand on one of her breasts, and she purred softly. There were ancient stories that told of dragons having a vulnerable spot on their chests, but I'm not sure this is what they meant. The thick and leathery skin of her underbelly squished and yielded like a normal woman's chest, but the skin still feels thicker than an elephant's. Still enough to deflect arrows, if not ballistas.
With her teased to perfection and myself safely out of range, I snapped my fingers. It was a simple tweak on the spell that replaced my stroking hands with a constant vibrating sensation. I'd use it on occasion in the bedroom, or just if I felt like getting an amusing noise out of one of my passing women. Umrik reacted just as planned and gives out a massive shout. Her long body tensed and her wings and tail raised higher. A stream of blue blasts the area ahead of her with her orgasmic cry. It uproots a few trees while coating the rest of that area in frost and snow. With her tail raised, her pink slit was exposed and gushing enough cum that I could have bathed in it if I were a little stranger of a secluded warlord. She slumps back to the ground after a few more (less dangerous-looking) cries before she slumps to the ground. Her tail wags back and forth along the ground while her wings droop.
I've been a sucker for big beautiful eyes, but this is something else. It was heartwarming to see the world's bigger version give me eyes full of that afterglow. She swallows hard and I can feel her body inflating and retracting with her long, heavy breaths. "Oh... oh wow," she muttered sheepishly. "What was that?"
"That's an orgasm. And I'd be glad to teach you more about them. Maybe tomorrow when I bring you your lunch?"
Umrik squirms in her spot and smiles wide with her knife-sized teeth. "Sounds perfect. It's a date."
Well she was fucking adorable. I rub along her snout like she's some faithful dog. It makes her ear fins twitch as she shuts her eyes. I'm already thinking of how to arrange the skeletons to bring her a simple meal each day and cast a growth spell on them when they arrive. I pet the calming dragoness while I start weaving the magic to send an all-clear message to Yulena.
I'd find out that even as a young dragon, she was over three times my age and with her own instinctive knowledge about magic. She didn't even eat every day now that she was on her own unique diet. I offer her a number of books and things to keep her entertained, but I find that if I'm not around and she's not exploring, she just tends to sleep in a lot.
-x-X-x-
Chapter 10 - For The Ladies
-x-X-x-
With the addition of Umrik, our now local dragon, I think my little piece of land has officially topped the list of lands not to fuck with. If numbers didn't impress you, size would. She's fitting in nicely, settling into a cave up the mountains. I've stopped by her place the first few days to make sure her stay's going well, but I eventually get the timing down where I can send a few skeletons with the meal with a timed spell on it to blow it up to her size. While I take her and her presence heavily under consideration, I just keep her as a consultant. I can't exactly fit her in the castle long enough to hold a real meeting with her.
Which was just what I needed to do. I called the girls together for this week's get together, checking in on business for the week. I cancel Yulena's plan for the new torture machine so she can put more pressure on the alchemy department. Nitka brings up how the kobolds are thrilled about the new guest and I figure if they don't worship her more than me then I don't mind. Nocutia says that the d'ruava/dark elves are huffy about my new position of power, which she assures me is good. Leaving them annoyed but not bothering with bloody oaths is a pretty good position to be in with a dark elf not in your direct bloodline.
That's when I dropped the bomb. I told them I'd be away for the weekend on some important business, leaving them in charge of their respective circles. It goes over about as well as I thought; met with lots of staring and quiet.
"But you'll be back?" None asked sheepishly.
"Yes. Monday morning, afternoon the latest," I assured her.
"And what about your big friend?" Nocutia asked. Gahren gave her a dirty look, but she rolled her eyes. "Your VERY big friend. Up in the mountains."
"I've got enough power in the skeletons that if I left them alone, they'd continue their work for another week. They're all on a schedule with their proper orders. They'll do the heavy lifting while you manage your species, clans and what have you."
"But then who's in charge?" Helga asked, impressively seting down her morning ale.
"You girls are. Run your groups, respect each other, and everything will go fine."
"Buuuut..." Nitka started uncertainly, making prompting circles with her hands.
"And if there are disputes?" Baruun asked less patiently.
"Don't dispute. Don't argue." I still saw some unease in my harem of secretaries, so I jerked a thumb behind me. "And if you don't get alone, any and all decisions are given to my master-general of undeath Marcus here."
The dining room door burst open on cue as my most imposing skeleton saluted with a hollow clunk. "YES, LORD WILLIAM! I SHALL SEE YOU WILL THROUGH AND SNUFF OUT ALL OF THE UNFAITHFUL BENEATH THE MIGHTY BOOT HEEL OF YOUR GRAND VISION!!"
I raised an eyebrow and looked back at the girls again. "You don't want Marcus in charge. How's that for incentive?" I went back to my biscuits and gravy, leaving the matter settled. With the impactful news of my first real departure from this place, I left the next morning with no real clarification to what "important business" meant. They didn't have to know it meant I was going home to visit my parents. As much as your standard rulers like to spout things about "son of this" and "lineage of that," I find a bit of mystery does an overlord a lot of good. Having a birth mother ruins the mystique about being an unkillable force of nature that burst out of the ground born of nothing but rage and magic.
That really was my favorite rumor to hear. Still gets a laugh out of me.
The start of the day went fine. The girls met for breakfast, which was waiting for them fresh from the cold dead hands of the undead servants. Baruun glanced at the empty seat that William usually occupied with a troubled frown before stacking her plate with ham.
"What do you think you're doing?" Nocutia asked dryly. The rest of the group looked up to see None scooting into place, trying to get comfortable on William's seat while still being able to look over the table's edge.
"It is disrespectful to leave an important seat unfilled," the goblin said with a sagely raise of her finger. Gahren lumbered into the room and picked her up by the head, palming it easily.
"And you don't take what's not yours in my labyrinth," the minotaur grunted, dropping None to land on her feet.
"An' a spiral staircase dun't make it a labyrinth," said Helga. "There's plenty ta go around, so don't sweat your udders off."
"Well in MY depths of the earth," Nocutia said, leaning back and folding her arms beneath her breasts, covering more than the silky and nearly see-through dressing gown. "Those who take seats of their masters are called 'usurpers."
"I didn't touch the goddesses' soup at all!" None defended firmly.
"Come on now, ladies. Order," Yulena urged as she frowned beneath her long pink bangs. Nitka just clicked her tongue.
"We don't answer to you," she said huffily.
"Yea, sorry. You're right," the gnome said genuinely. "This is new to me, honestly. The gnomes kind of expect me to tell them what to do a lot, so sometimes I just talk to fill up the space and act as leadership-"
"Yes," Baruun interrupted curtly. "Now we leave the seat alone. Eat your meal and do your work. It is as Chief William said." The girls started to settle back into their meal when Nocutia spoke up again.
"So how many titles does he have, anyway?"
"What do you mean?"
"I've heard three this morning alone. He's a goddess now?"
"It's the highest position known to goblins," Nitka spoke up, and None nodded vigorously.
"Females are always the most magical! It's only sensical that he would wield the most power like a goddess!"
"He is chief," Baruun said almost begrudgingly. "For slaying the last chief when he refused Lord William's rule."
"Lord Chief Goddess William," Nocutia laughed. "Technically he holds no title among the dark, but he's still respected. With how our politics work, that might make him one of the safest super-powers to my people."
"He's also president," Yulena chimed in.
Helga laughed sharply. "What in undermountain darkness is a president?"
"The head of a corporation. Ever since we worked under the last lord, gnomes always formed corporations when we engaged a new grand project. As the leading mind and organizer, that makes him president of our engineering team. Just... an organizer and leader, I guess."
"We're not right keen on passin' out titles," Helga said with a grin. "That's what got the dwarves in a civil war for a hundred years or so. In fact, I think there's still a few miners out there that still think we're goin' at it... but they've been callin' our good lord Black Fountain. Named em for the bellows goin' all hours of the day from all the work he's been providin' us."
"Lord Chief President Blackfountain Goddess William," Nitka recited happily. "He must be a great man if he has so many titles."
"Which he got by killing everyone else who disagreed," Nocutia added.
Baruun glanced in her direction. "You say it like it is a problem," she said grimly, adding an extra slab of ham to her plate. Her growing children were especially hungry today.
"Oh, it's not. At least he had the courage to do it to someone's face," the dark elf said with a shrug as she nibbled on a sausage. "But let's not pretend he's here by election or popularity. He came into power because he killed the last overlord, killed the orc chief, blew up a few goblins, and is too dangerous for the d'ruava to undermine."
"He did threaten to wipe out my band of minotaurs for disagreeing," Gahren said grimly. Nocutia gestured at her like she proved her point. "But it was also to save my life. So that they would listen to his offer of trade instead of slaughtering ourselves."
"And William barely killed anyone when he graced us!" None declared proudly. "The old lord would pop a few of us just for being in his way whenever he came to see us."
"He turned our laboratory for war machines into just a regular laboratory," Yulena pointed out.
Helga wiped her mouth with a fuzzy arm. "Well... he flipped one of our guardsmen upside down... but when he showed up to talk, he just wanted to know what we needed. He's strongarming us, but only so that we'll end up being better off."
"True..." Baruun mused. "Though I admit that I miss feuding with the occasional dwarf or goblin that wandered into our territories."
None picked up a piece of potato and flicked it at her. "Oops! I'm in your territory!" she chimed, getting a noisy snort of laughter from Gahren. Baruun smirked and ate the potato before pinching off a piece of ham and flinging it back. None squeaked and tried to dodge but it landed right in her mouth, getting her to cough and flop over on the table, giggling as she gagged and managed to swallow it.
"Accuracy is one more reason not to cross the orcs," Baruun boasted, just for a neatly folded napkin to land right between her breasts.
"Accuracy that is a subject of many elven tavern jokes," Nocutia gloated, folding up another napkin in the same quick and ornate pattern. "Nothing compared to d'ruavan napkin technology. Folded 1000 times over half a century just so you can wipe your mouth with elegant silks."
"Wow!" None gawked at the dark beauty. She flicked her napkin so it got stuck in her messy hair.
"She's exaggerating," Helga scoffed. "Besides..." She grabbed the teapot and pulled it in front of her face, deflecting a third napkin. "Doesn't do you much good when you can't punch through dwarven armor."
"Then we just aim for weak points," Nocutia said with a grin.
"Dwarves have no weEEEK!" Helga jumped up to stand on her chair, a bowl of warm syrup on her lap. Nitka came scampering out from under the tablecloth giggling with her raised tail and rump behind her. "Why you nasty little imp!" Helga shouted, followed by laughter as she hopped down after her. Nitka squealed as she was trapped under her, just to be hefted up by the deceptively strong dwarven woman.
There was a thrum of elastic as suddenly everyone received a spray of scrambled eggs to their face and chest; save for Yulena, who had hastily assembled a catapulting trebuchet out of a spoon, toothpicks and some elastic from her pajamas. "Why you scheming little...!" Nitka and Baruun both rushed at her, the gnome squealing with glee and leaping off her chair. She tried to run for the door when the others tackled her to the floor; Nitka taking her down and Baruun's extra weight seeing that she didn't get back up in a hurry. None climbed into Nitka's seat and started shoveling her bacon into her mouth as their minotaur ambassador hopped into the dogpile, flattening even Baruun under her hefty udders. The other girls laughed and continued their food fight until the door creaked open. They all looked up sharply as a piece of pancake fell from Noctuia's bangs.
"EXCUSE ME, LADIES OF SIR WILLIAM'S COURT!" Marcus boomed as the armored skeleton leaned into the room. "I HEARD A COMMOTION AND CAME AS QUICKLY AS I COULD! IS THERE ANY MANNER OF DISAGREEMENT AFOOT?!"
"No..." they all muttered at various times.
"ExCELLENT! WELL BACK TO THE PATROLLING THE CASTLE GROUNDS! THOSE PIGEONS HAVE BEEN TERRIBLY STUBBORN LATELY..." He stomped away with a clattering of armor and bone as the girls looked awkwardly between each other.
"Maybe we should clean up," Yulena muttered, her voice partly muffled beneath the orc and the minotaur.
"Honeyspider, that's what dead slaves are for," Nocutia purred. She wiped some syrup off the front of her nightie and licked it off before snapping her fingers. A couple of skeletons with mops came lurching into the room a few seconds later. "You see? Part of the perks of being a necromancer's booty call." One of the skeletons dunked his mop into a bucket and thrust it into her chest. A splash of soapy water ran over her dark skin, pooling between her cleavage while some strads slapped her face. "Although I suppose we could all use a bath..."
"Definitely," Helga grunted as she hopped out of her chair, finishing off her breakfast beer. "I don't want to know what it's like when a cow goes all day with breakfast in her fur."
"In the nomad tribe," Gahren offered. "Dropping honey or seasoning on yourself was called 'tempting the sacrificers."
"Oh," Helga said, frowning as she put that logic together. "Yea, bath might be nice then."
The girls went to William's bathroom. There were a couple of primitive toilets in the castle, but William reserved their use for utmost emergencies. The master bathroom was open to them all and was far more luxurious than a hole that lead to a safe distance outside the castle grounds. Opening the door immediately led to a radiantly white room. Not even Nocutia fully understood how he pulled it off, but William had explained how it was a modified use of the classic Dimensional Portal and Safehaven spells. It was always warm in the winter seasons and cool in the summer. A few private rooms were set aside for toilets, but a curtained archway led to the bathing area. They normally spread out their visits to minimize the time between them, but after the breakfast fiasco, it seemed unavoidable.
Either way, there was plenty of space. The archway wasn't a door in itself. When they stepped through the curtain, there was a faint pop and they stepped onto smooth stone. A natural hot spring was just inside, lit by a many ever-burning lanterns and securely within a cave with no visible entrances besides the curtain. Some of the girls chattered while they undressed, but Baruun was quick to enter. She lost what scarce armor and loincloth she wore and tossed it into one of the empty baskets before easing herself into the warm water. She sighed and rubbed a hand over her stomach. It was firm as ever, but rounding out. Her and William's child was growing strong and heavy, and it was growing more tiring to keep up her fierce and intimidating airs.
"So when are you due?" Noctuia slid into the water without a sound, even if she was just a few feet away from the she-orc.
"When she is ready," Baruun answered plainly. "Perhaps another three months. Was it that obvious?"
"A little." The nude dark elf shrugged as she ran some water through her sticky white hair and charcoal skin. "You have been putting on the weight lately, and I doubted it was the soft life. But I'll admit, the kobold smelled it on you first." Baruun gave a short snort as she let her hand roam under the water to rub across her brand. It seemed to pulse faintly with the forgotten heat from William's burning hot fingers.
"Well it's not for you to worry about," Baruun excused. "It's birthing. If you avoid any swords and arrows, it's one of the simplest things in the world."
"Natural doesn't mean simple," Nocutia corrected calmly. She made a sour expression as she flicked away most of a piece of bacon towards the middle of the huge spring. The water was hot enough that it broke down and boiled away anything that went into it over time. "But you don't have to hide everything from us."
"Don't I?" The orc glared at her. "As I recall, you arrived to serve as a spy against my chief."
"Oh believe me..." Nocutia, while seeming completely naked, scrubbed behind her ear and somehow produced a short dagger. She turned her grip so that she could file and pick beneath her nails. "Any other situation, I'd be the first to warn you to watch out for me and my kind. We have an empire built on treachery, and backstabbing is called our national pastime. But now... I like this. It's comfortable. It's nice to not watch your back all the time. It's better than a sister who would sell you into slavery for a better political position."
"I think I understand," Baruun sighed. "The orcs will challenge leadership as the see fit, but they will at least do it to your face."
"Jealous. Is that why all the posturing? The 'I'm not pregnant, I'm just angry' facade?" Nocutia leaned on the edge of the stone, resting her arms and dark breasts as the rest of her sank into the water.
"Focus and strength are the keys to orc leadership."
"Got it. 'Oi'm da biggest and da baddest," Nocutia said in a cockney accent. Baruun looked at her quizzically. "No? I thought I'd heard that about orcs once. Nevermind."
"Raaaaa! Incoming!" None squeaked as her bare feet went padding across the ground. Her big green breasts bounced around until she leapt and cannonballed into the pool. She vanished beneath the surface for a few seconds before popping back up, steaming and gasping as she paddled around the shallows. The other girls followed her in, and even with the seven girls of various sizes, the spring was big enough not to be crowded. It didn't keep them from clustering together for the company. Nitka took particular care in scrubbing around her scalier bits while grinding her horns against the stone beside the spring. Helga and Gahren stuck together to keep the shampoo between them, though the water seemed to rise a couple centimeters when the cowgirl entered. Yulena entered a little after everyone else dressed in a bright pink bikini.
"Ohhh no," Nocutia said with a grin, turning to face her. "Noooo no no. You cannot be serious."
"Are the gnomes so frail they need armor against bathwater!?" Helga laughed at the sight, making Yulena blush behind her veil of bangs.
"It's classic gnomish bathing attire," she defended. "The fabric is soft and thin enough that it cleans even the space beneath it..."
"Doesn't matter," Gahren answered. She rose out of the water, letting it run down in waterfalls off her hefty breasts and thick lower body fur. Yulena clearly stared, even with the hair in her eyes. "Girls?"
Nitka and None scampered out of the bath after her. Yulena shrieked and started to run back towards the curtain. "I changed my mind! I don't need a bath! I'll just stink all day!" None and Nitka overtook her and between the three tiny women, they dragged Yulena kicking and squealing into the oversized tub. The rest of the harem watched and giggled as the smaller women quickly got to work pulling off her swimsuit. Nitka vanished under the water for a few seconds, sliding the bottoms off the gnome before thrusting her handful of them triumphantly out of the water. Yulena's panicked flailing did nothing to help her get out of the water, especially with None straddling her stomach and holding down her arms. That left only her mouth to work with, so the goblin latched her mouth onto Yulena's breast and started pulling at it like a playful dog.
"Stop stop stooop!" Yulena squeaked. "That tickles! I'll take it off! I swear!" None still chomped on her breast, catching both her bikini and her nipple between her teeth as the gnome shrieked even louder. None pulled her top off, baring her plump breasts and especially hard nipples to the open air. The red-faced gnome settled against the edge of the hot spring, hiding as much as she could under the water.
"Oh don't be so modest," Helga assured her as the giggles died down. "You've got a real body for a wee one."
"Well, goddess baron archduke William picks only the best," Nocutia chuckled as she went back to grooming her hair. "You're one of us now, after all."
"Well thanks... that's nice of you to say. " Yulena muttered, managing a small smile as she started to modestly scrub herself down. "Frankly I was expecting someone to kill the other by the time this was all said and done."
"Give it time," Gahren said with a wide grin. "Sometimes poison takes a while to kick in." The girls laughed and went about their communal bath, taking their time today.
"Well that's just so sweet!" The girls looked up to see the curtained portal widening. Some thumping footsteps sounded as Umrik's head came poking through, the demi-dragon's long body just fitting along one side of the pool. She had stopped by the castle a few times since her arrival to catch up on things and so that William could introduce them to her, so they weren't entirely new to her. It was still the closest quarters they'd ever been in, and even Gahren felt a bit modest with the towering reptilian and her person-sized breasts. "You girls always bathe together like this?"
"No... this is something new," Nitka said quietly.
"Well traditions need to start somewhere," Helga said with a grin. "You come in here often?"
"Oh, William gave me my own portal here. I just don't usually see you all in here so late in the morning." Umrik mused as she coiled up her tail, resting on her haunches nearby. The other girls exchanged glances before Yulena sighed.
"I mean... you ARE one of us," she said, starting to paddle towards the others. "Everyone bunch up. We can fit her in here too if we bunch up a little.
I was glad to find the girls getting along rather well without my supervision. It wasn't an intentional test, but good to see that between warrior codes, lives of treachery and fire breath, none of them took the chance to off each other in these last few days. It would have been a political mess if nothing else, not to mention that these girls really are growing on me. I know a thing or two about non-traditional families anyway.
"BLESSED BE YOUR SAFE RETURN, GODDESS DRAGON-FUCKER WILLIAM!" Marcus greeted, saluting me as I reached my study. I had just gotten through the gauntlet of welcoming hugs and kisses from my assorted ladies. I frowned as his own greeting and flicked a few fingers, wiping out this new magical programming that had Nocutia's occult fingerprints all over it. "LORD WILLIAM!" he corrected quickly.
"Afternoon, Marcus. Things went smoothly, I take it?"
"INDEED, SIR! YOUR COUNCIL SHOWED NO SIGNS OF REQUIRING MY CONSIDERABLE LEADERSHIP IN YOUR ABSENCE!"
"Well that's good," I said as I started flicking through one of my tomes to find my place. "Not that you'd be an unsuitable commander, of course."
"INDEED! I ASSURE YOU THAT SHOULD SOME IMPOSSIBLE FEAT STRIKE YOU DOWN, I SHALL HASTILY DESTROY ALL THAT STOOD AGAINST YOU AND ALL THAT THEY CARE FOR IN THE NAME OF YOUR GLORY!" Right. I had enough magic in Marcus that he'd be left to his own devices if I passed, just like how he went on autopilot in my absence these couple days. I caught up on some news; that the dwarves and dark elves had paid their minor tributes and the gnomes had a request for more gold for their alchemy. The harpies were apparently raising a fuss in the mountainside, but I could see to that soon. The bird-women were easily riled, but easily placated.
"Good to know things are going smoothly," I said dismissively. I went back to some reading for a while before Marcus spoke up again.
"AND WHAT NEWS IS THERE OF YOUR WONDERFUL FAMILY, LORD WILLIAM!?"
"They're fine," I summed up. "Mom is busy, but mother is helping her out. It sounds like the witch hunters have given up on trying to learn anything more about me from them."
"TIS GLORIOUS TO HEAR!" Marcus declared, clanking into another salute. "LONG LIVE THE WILLIAMS!"
"That's not my family name," I sighed. "But that' close enough. Thank you anyway, Marcus.