Damon sighed. He hadn't felt this helpless in a long time. He was old, ancient, a telepathic vampire wizard, a multishifter chimera, but right now, he was just a husband, unable to fully dispel his wife's fears. He knew if her fears could become reality, and it wouldn't be fair to lull Mimi into a false sense of security if something horrible were to happen.
Mimi had nightmares of losing her babies, their babies. She dreamt of giving birth, only to find no heartbeats, or going to a checkup and being told there were no heartbeats for their five, or being unable to find one of them, that one was gone, absorbed back. Damon knew it was unlikely, but nothing in this world was certain. He had once eaten his own cubs, Mimi's and his, and had no recollection of it. And now this. How in hell would they cope if something happened to those five little ones?
The bedroom was warm, a shelter for them both, but despite its physical sense of safety, Damon couldn't convey that feeling to Mimi. Her ball of fears was way too big, way too tight, and it would take a huge effort to get rid of it. Mariella hadn't been afraid of her babies at all, and Damon knew that Mariella trusted him and the facts too much, believing everything would be fine. What if it wouldn't be okay?
Right now, in the darkness of Mimi's bedroom, Damon held her against him, trying to get her to sleep. She hadn't slept in days, possibly over a week, because of these nightmares, and she was distracting herself with finances, schools, education, and whatnot. Damon could feel she hadn't fallen asleep yet, and he hoped she would soon find a sense of safety and sleep, so he could enter her mind to dispel this huge ball of worry and nightmares.
Damon wouldn't ask Wulfe, nor would he tell him. Wulfe loved Mimi too much and, given his powers, would readily use them to help her. He could dispel all of this, but then again... what if? Damon didn't want to think about it, but he couldn't help himself. Could he be there for her, or would he withdraw to Mariella? If she had her babies, their perfect babies, would that drive him away from Mimi?
He worried, but he tried to sort his mind, to bury his worries and focus on the here and now. He flooded Mimi with his love via their bond. Mimi was a creature of love and needed a lot of it. He hadn't been very loving, as all of this had been such a surprise, and he hadn't been sure what it all meant in the long run. Right now, he was just a husband, trying to help his beloved.
He buried his nose in her hair as she pressed her cheek against his bare chest, trying to listen to their mutual heartbeat. Two hearts beat in unison, husband and wife, and the vampires' magic that blessed their union was more than anything Christianity could offer. Despite this, Damon felt his wife's mental anguish and wanted to help her, calm her down, and take the oppressive tangle out of her mind.
Mariella walked into the kitchen and saw Number Five humming to himself and cooking for Mimi, obviously. But something in Mariella woke up. She could sense an almost obsessive need in Number Five to be with Mimi, which had nothing to do with lust. She furrowed her brow, trying to decipher why she felt this from Number Five.
She had used most of the Salvatores as sex toys, to be crude. She knew it and was trying to get better, but she felt she had gone too far and lost them. A voice in her mind was so messed up, wanting all the Salvatores to belong to her, but it wasn't so, not anymore.
Mariella went to the fridge, and Number Five raised his head from the pot he was stirring and said, "Sit down, 'Ella, I'll give you food soon."
He sounded so much like Number One that Mariella obeyed. It was natural for her to obey Number One, and this voice and tone made her obey.
Number Five grabbed a yellow plate and began to fill it with whatever he had been cooking for Mariella. He added a few more items from the fridge, his movements economical, yet somehow predatory. Mariella couldn't help but wonder what kind of man this version of him truly was.
Gazing around the kitchen, she noticed the countertops were once again made of some stone, perhaps even a semiprecious stone or crystal. Though still stone, they were quite beautiful and personal, like their pack. Mariella sat, lost in thought, her hormone-fueled, lust-filled mind racing.
But amidst this, a familiar confusion lingered. Mimi had told her that he had been controlling her finances and her as well. Why? Mariella couldn't understand. Number Five placed the meal before her, took one Mimi had prepared, warmed it with a spell, and sat down opposite her.
"Let me explain," he said, "before your little mind explodes. I was with Mimi the longest, far longer than anyone else, and it had an effect on me. I knew what I had done, how much I'd messed up, and what was at stake. And then…"
He allowed a memory to flood Mariella's mind: the memory of finding Mimi unresponsive from the drug in the warehouse, the struggle to wake her, the demon he sensed within her mind, the green tint of her face, the feeling of her slipping away.
Mariella said, "Wow, I mean, Damon has never…"
Number Five cut her off. "He hasn't, partially because I absorbed most of it when I was put in that ring. And Number One's ego is so massive it prevents him from regretting or acknowledging his mistakes, much more so than he does."
Mariella, now quiet, asked, "What do you mean, you took most of it into you? How, why?"
Number five said, his voice contemplative, "As you saw, Bridgette was there. I guess she knew how wrong I had treated her, always cheating and doing all kinds of stupid things. Back then, I had no idea about Damien, so I'm unsure if it was punishment or a lesson. I ended up in Pope's ring, with only a sliver of hope that he might help, and then I went to sleep. But whereas Number four was woken by Mimi's anguish, I was woken by whoever kissed Pope's ring. I tried so damn hard to find some evidence that Baby was safe, that she had made it. Still, I never got it, so I started to shut down my emotions, my love, and I was able to stay asleep, no matter who kissed the ring, as I no longer loved, no longer felt anything."
Mariella was quiet, unsure. Her savior part wanted to help; it sensed this Salvatore was still so broken, and maybe she could help. Still, right now, he needed to be with Mimi; there was this need to make everything up to her, and maybe in time she could help him too.
Mariella said, "I want to help you, but you're not there yet. You need to be with Mimi. I can sense it, and God, I hope I can let you. I know myself, and I can be a nasty cunt when my hormones take over, so apologies in advance if I go overboard. I want to help you feel, learn to trust feelings and love and whatnot, and maybe when your mind is healing, you find sex is not just an act, but it is a language, too."
A voice from the door jarred Mariella from her confession. It was one of her older daughters, Ashley, who had come into the kitchen to get some food.
"Nicely done, Mom. Maybe there is still hope for you. I was just wondering, will we be going to Christmas mass, church, or any Christmas events? I mean, it's not necessary, but I need to know so I can plan my timetable."
Number five quipped in a dry voice, "You mean what reality trash to watch? Is it the Kardashians, or what? I remember when the Kardashians lived... actually, it was little... well, about 20-30 years before I met Mimi. I was with Elena back then, and she used to watch them too, and she called them too curvy or told me they had too big asses. I watched a few episodes with her, and it was trash."
Ashley stated, "Well, it's your opinion, and you're entitled to it, but it's certainly not mine. Their bodies are perfect, feminine. Sure, you might see them as a little too wide, preferring Mimi's type, but I like them."
Mariella responded, "I haven't watched, and I'm not sure if I ever will. I am wickedly curious about all the cooking shows Mimi has talked about."
Ashley harrumphed, "Who likes to watch cooking shows? All I have to do is be in the kitchen for more than 30 minutes, and the Salvatores are cooking. No need to watch it on TV."
Number Five smiled, saying, "Look at you, our daughter. Truly, this is family; it feels nice."
Ashley rolled her eyes and said, "I'm not as lustful as Mom is, and I have my own interests. You're too much in love with Mimi right now; it almost makes me nauseous, you're so over the top."
Number Five smirked and replied, "Guilty as charged. I am learning and accepting, and I'm still trying to differentiate between my physiological need to be near my other half, my protector side wanting to keep her safe and well, and my love for her. It's not so simple to just be with her if I'm not sure why. I need to know for sure, so I can be there for her for real, and not just dampen some need I had, only for it to disappear, never real. I would have let her down again. I need to be absolutely sure, and it must be real. I've seen her burn her wings too many times when playing with us, and I refuse to be the source of that kind of pain for her."
Mariella was uncharacteristically quiet. She couldn't comprehend what it felt like to not be loved by Damon, or to face the reality that he loved someone else. For Mariella, Damon had always been there, always loved her, and there had never been any doubt of it—well, except for that one time when Damon's true sire, Annaliese, had ensnared him with false pretenses.
But now, seeing this version of Damon truly loving someone else, time after time, Mariella struggled to understand what that must feel like. Then there had been in the past Damien, Bran, and all the other fucked-up things in Mimi's past. It was a wonder she was as sane as she was and still trusted love, still had the heart to love Damon, despite everything.
Mariella also felt a shift within herself. She was no longer so eager to simply defend Damon and make him feel like nothing was wrong. It was time for Mr. Salvatore to face his past, his blunders, and maybe it would be the best thing for him.
Mariella turned to Number Five, saying, "Tell me more. There's something else, isn't there? You've had issues with me for a long time. You never really loved me, not like some of the others, and I understand now. But I feel like there was still something else."
Number Five looked at her and said, "For a moment, when you arrived, and Damon, Number One, pulled me out, I saw him, and I saw you, and the pain that hit me was overwhelming. Because the moment before his memories transferred to me, I thought..."
He paused, then continued, "I thought I had lost her. I had lost my baby. Demon had won, and I had moved on, forgotten her. And then, that pain destroyed something inside me. As his memories flooded into me, I let them take over. I let his love for you take over, as I realized she was okay, but he had already done too much damage to her. I just couldn't face her, so I hid my love, pushed it way down, and didn't dare to love her for a long, long time."
"I mean, I have no idea," Ashley said quietly, her voice contemplative. "I guess someone ought to write your story down so we could all read it, learn from the past, and understand what happened. I know there's nasty stuff in the past, but isn't the past for learning? Should we try to see things from a slightly different angle and understand why or what?"
Mariella smiled. "You're just like me, always asking questions when something doesn't click. I guess you truly are my daughter, even though I didn't raise you. It's funny; I see so much of Mimi in those four girls of hers, and then these. I wonder just how weird it will be. Will they be even more copies of us, since we're raising them?"
Ashley, taller than Mariella, had her semi-brown hair in a stylish ponytail, probably fixed by someone Salvatore. She wore jeans, a cotton, long-sleeved tee shirt, and a stylish belt that kept her jeans up, as she had a much more slender build than Mariella.
Mariella saw herself as having been like Jennifer Lopez or some other "bubble-butted bimbo" in the past, but for her, the past was the past, and there was a lot of fun stuff to be learned, watched, and life would be fun for sure at some point.
She also noted how much Ashley looked like her, but then again, her sharp eyes and tight mouth were Damon's, as was her posture. She was kind of dominant, not too shy to voice her opinions and not afraid to look others in the eye. Ashley wore little makeup, which actually made her look almost more adult than Mariella, with her meticulously applied makeup that Damon fixed with his special dental substances. "It's funny," Mariella thought, remembering when she'd tried to explain vampire teeth in her workplace, and one nurse had said that they had special snot, as they made substances in their sinuses, where humans usually had snot.
"It's the excitement of it all," Number Five said, "but we have a lot to do before the babies even arrive. You haven't even picked a nursery or made any preferences. I know Baby took those folders we got, and we can use them to help, but she's a stubborn little thing, trying to do everything herself."
Mariella nodded. "I guess since this is just the beginning, I haven't given it much thought. Time slips away when you're not paying attention, and three babies... they make one hell of a bump, plus my possible complications, hormones, and whatnot. Maybe it would be prudent to focus on the nursery after Christmas and chat with Mimi, see what she's planning."
Family life was far from effortless for any of them. In the darkness of the bedroom, Damon struggled to help Mimi. Mariella, in the kitchen, was once again confused because the world didn't work as she assumed. Number Five was beginning to see the good in life and maybe even trust others.
Ashley was learning so much about her family, her real parents. Despite having raised some of the kids herself before, she felt like a big sister, eagerly awaiting the new arrivals, but at the same time, this complex, messy family life was utterly new to her.
Life was truly finding a way, and for them all, it was time to grow, to learn their new roles, and to find what life was actually about. Mariella had assumed she knew what it was like to live with Damon, but she was in for a surprise in the coming years. Number Five would see his chances to grow, to mature, to love. Ashley would realize just how screwed up this whole pack was and how hard it was to live in a polygamous relationship while still maintaining the special bond.
Damon and Mimi... their love story had once been all they both wanted, and maybe it still was, but the past had changed them both. Losses and victories had turned Mimi, once a shy, timid creature unsure of her place, into a leader, a hard, sometimes cold creature who struggled with the fact that she was a creature of love and that love was what she needed, and moreover, what she deserved. Damon was learning to be a husband for Mimi too, and for Mariella as well. He was starting to have real respect for women, no longer seeing them as possessions inferior to him, but as partners, mates, lifelong companions, which would take a hell of a lot out of him.