You can read ahead up to 70 chapters on my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/GGS6395
Without his armor on, Tony raised both hands helplessly. "Alright, I take that back. But don't you think this is insane? I mean, what kind of… uh, well, in short, if my bed partner had that much tonnage, I'd run for my life!"
Arthur sighed. "I always thought inventors were supposed to have extraordinary imaginations. Haven't you considered that if he can make himself into such a massive planet, then of course he can also turn himself into a relatively normal-sized human?"
"Wait… are you saying he wasn't this big at first?"
Tony jumped on the thought. "So what exactly is he?"
"Well, how should I put it… He's basically a cosmic lifeform beyond the extraordinary," Arthur said. "To call him a god wouldn't be an exaggeration. He was born from the cosmos itself. In the very beginning, he was nothing more than a brain-like entity. Over endless years, he grew familiar with his power, eventually condensing into the being you see before you. Once he reached that level, he became dissatisfied with the barren emptiness of the universe… so he started seeding across the galaxy."
"Seeding?" Tony arched an eyebrow.
Arthur shrugged. "Literal seeding. But yes, also the kind you're imagining. Let's just say, he's the type to do both, and he's very committed to both."
"Unbelievable." Banner frowned. "And yet here you are, holding such an intense debate over something this absurd?"
"What else can we do?" Tony quipped. "Our driver here is a veteran, and he's about to take us for a spin in a spaceship!"
"In fact, we're already on the spaceship," Natasha reminded him. "But there's something I still don't understand. What exactly is our purpose here? Or to put it another way, why are we even trying to deal with this planet?"
"There are basically two reasons. First…" Arthur explained. "He's Star-Lord's father, but clearly not a qualified one. As I mentioned, he seeded across the universe, and after leaving behind countless single mothers, he also left behind children of different races! And those children… are now corpses, lying somewhere on this planet. Honestly, now that I say it out loud, I can't help but wonder, what kind of father keeps the corpses of his kids inside his own body?"
"Actually…" T'Challa suddenly spoke up weakly. "What I can't wrap my head around is… how does he even endure all of us… relieving ourselves on him?"
The whole room went silent.
No one on the video feed spoke. Arthur said nothing either. It was as if everyone collectively froze.
"What's wrong with you guys?" T'Challa blinked.
Tony sighed. "Another one corrupted. The Arthur virus really is everywhere. I don't even recognize the old me anymore."
Arthur patted T'Challa on the shoulder. "Your thinking has already broken free from its old constraints. That means you're actually moving in a good direction. And honestly, why is it that after hearing what you said, I suddenly feel excited, like there's a weird sense of accomplishment in taking a dump on Star-Lord's dad's head?"
"Are you sure that's a sense of accomplishment???"
On the video feed, Banner, Natasha, and Sharon all looked horrified. Steve covered his mouth, fighting the sudden urge to throw up.
"Ahem!!"
Arthur cleared his throat. "Alright, let's get back on track."
"Don't you think trying to force things back on track at this point feels way too unnatural?" Tony muttered.
"So what, you'd rather keep talking about dumping?" Arthur rolled his eyes.
"No, I think we can have a proper discussion," Natasha quickly cut in. "What you said earlier is clearly something worth taking action on. Star-Lord is one of us, in fact, he's our eyes in the entire galaxy! So nothing can be allowed to happen to him. But… I still want to hear the second point."
"The second point goes back many years," Arthur said. "To put it in one sentence: it's the story of a planet's struggle to conquer the entire universe!"
"I think I'll need a bit more detail than that…" Tony glanced at the group behind him, looking for backup.
Spider-Man immediately raised his hand. "I wanna hear too."
"I don't really know how to put it…" Arthur scratched his head. "In short, the first method of 'seeding' I mentioned earlier, rather than seeding, it's more like parasitism. But not parasitism of people, of planets! Every seed he planted is essentially a parasitic implant. Once activated, he can instantly take over that many planets… No, to be precise, he's already parasitized them, just hasn't stripped them yet. But now that Star-Lord has come here, that stripping process is about to begin!"
"Incredible!"
Tony was stunned. "So not only has he claimed countless single moms, but now he's even strong-arming entire planets!"
Everyone turned and stared at Tony.
Tony cleared his throat. "Maybe I should… rephrase that?"
"No need," Arthur replied. "Your meaning is about right. And the worst news is, he's been to… Earth."
That alone was enough. Nothing more really needed to be said.
The faces on the other end instantly hardened, this gave them all the motivation they needed. Put simply, if they didn't come here this time, and Ego succeeded in carrying out his plan, Earth itself would face annihilation.
"Do we… know the approximate location of his, uh, seeding?" Natasha asked immediately. "If possible, maybe we can preemptively cut this off."
"That can be arranged," Arthur nodded. "But I don't know the exact spot. All I know is that he visited Missouri back in 1980."
"You know the precise year, but not the actual place… old people are useless."
Tony put his talent for snark on display, feeling rather proud of himself.
Brock, however, just looked at him with an expression that screamed You're asking for death, then turned to the camera and asked, "There's something Venom wanted me to check… does this planet have anything edible?"
"…Uh, probably not." Arthur thought it over. The Disassembler could affect Ego's constructs, but as for Ego's core, could it be disassembled? If it could… There was no way he'd let Venom eat it!
What? Was this guy planning to snatch food right in front of him? No matter how big your mouth is, absolutely not!
(End of Chapter)