Alice's meeting with Joe, the traveler who happened to also be her mother's boyfriend or fuck buddy or whatever, had been nothing short of discouraging. She and Quentin had gone in hoping that he would at least have some sort of way to help and find Kai, maybe even the slimmest thread of possibility to even bring Kai back. Instead, what they got was walls and dead-ends.
Joe leaned back in his chair, adjusting his legs and smiling at them in a weird way and with an air of someone who'd already solved the puzzle but knew the answer was unsolvable.
"You don't get it, so you?" Joe said, he sat upright to explain better to them. "If you knew where he was, if you had even the faintest direction, I could maybe help. A continent, a plane, a dimension. Something. But as it stands? He could be anywhere. Any place. Any time zone. Past, future, in-between. You're asking me to find a single needle in the haystack of the multiverse itself."
Alice frowned. "There's no one who can?"
Joe chuckled, dry and humorless. "Not unless you've got divine intervention or enough power to channel the kind of magic that makes gods nervous. Otherwise? No it's absolutely Impossible."
Quentin shifted uncomfortably in his chair, rubbing the back of his neck. "What if… what if there's a way to trace how it happened? It was some kind of teleporting button. And a spell that went wrong."
"Went wrong?" Joe leaned forward, raising a brow. "Or went exactly the way it was designed to?" He sighed, pressing his palm to his temple. "Listen, kid. Unless he's smart enough or desperate enough to get a message across to you, your only hope is waiting. A tether is a two-way street. If he doesn't throw you one from his side, then it doesn't matter how much you scream into the void. The void doesn't answer."
Alice's lips tightened, her arms crossed. "So what? We just wait and do nothing?"
Joe shook his head. "No. You can also try your best to prepare. Because if he does manage to reach out, even faintly, you'll need to be ready. And I mean ready with a path for him to follow back. And ready to accept the risk that pulling him back could burn you alive in the process."
Quentin frowned, his pacing quickening. "So… you're saying there's a chance?"
Joe gave a small smirk. "It's slimmer than slim. But a chance, yeah. It's kinda like setting up magical relay points. But they require patience. And a shit ton of luck."
Alice looked over at Quentin, her expression unreadable. "Well that's better than nothing I guess."
---
Back at Brakebills, the mood wasn't much better. The group sat in the common room as Quentin relayed everything Joe had told them.
"So basically," Margo said flatly, swirling her drink, "total bust."
"Wait, what did the guy say exactly?" Penny asked, narrowing his eyes.
Quentin sighed. "That we need to know where Kai is before we can help. Otherwise, it's impossible."
Eliot flopped dramatically on the couch beside Margo. "Yes, we already knew that. Anything else?"
Alice exhaled slowly. "That Kai has to make contact with us… or we with him. Otherwise, we're wasting our time and we tried something already but it didn't work."
Quentin ran a hand through his hair, muttering, "Yeah, like finding a needle in a universal haystack."
Margo tilted her head. "Wait, back up. You tried something already? What do you mean, tried what?"
Alice shifted uncomfortably, glancing at Quentin.
Quentin cleared his throat. "Uh. He gave us this… unique spell. An, uh… intimate type of ritual. Designed to send a message to someone if you both focus hard enough on them."
Margo blinked. Then her face twisted into delight. "Wait, wait, wait. Are you saying you two had a sex ritual? To contact Kai?"
Penny chuckled, covering his face with his hand. "And you were both thinking about Kai while screwing? Oh my god."
Eliot burst into hysterics, clutching his stomach. "I can't decide if that's tragically pathetic or the hottest love triangle I've ever heard of. Please, please tell me he sent you a magical sext in return."
Alice's cheeks flushed crimson. "The point is, it didn't work, okay?"
Quentin muttered defensively, "We don't know that."
Alice ignored him, folding her arms tighter. "Anyway… what about our other problem? The Beast. We still need a way to beat him. With or without Kai."
"Ah yes," Penny muttered. "The Beast."
Quentin pulled two pages from his bag. "Right. So… Martin was desperate because Plover figured out a way to physically change himself. Which gave him whole new avenues of magic. And spells to follow Martin into Fillory."
"Shit," Eliot muttered.
"Yeah," Quentin continued. "So Martin found out about an enchanted knife. The Leo Blade. Said to be powerful enough to tear through the fabric of magic itself. Kill a god, basically. Forged by the same guy who made the Virgo Blade."
Penny grinned. "Fucking love that guy."
"Anyway," Quentin said. "Martin tried to commission the knife maker to make him one. But… the pages end before we know what happened. Which means Martin failed to get it. Which means… the blade could still be out there. Hidden. Waiting for us."
"Right," Penny muttered. "In Fillory. Where the fucking Beast is."
Margo perked up. "Okay, I've got an idea. Why don't we just give the twat the button? It's what he wants."
Quentin shook his head. "I don't think that's a very good plan."
Penny snapped, "No, that's a monumentally shitty plan."
Eliot shrugged. "I don't know… it's something. If we give him what he wants, maybe he stops coming after us."
Quentin threw his hands up. "Wow. Yes. Let's give the Beast exactly what he wants. That's a fantastic idea, Eliot."
"Beats getting vivisection," Eliot quipped.
"Speak for yourself," Penny muttered. "If this asshole keeps locking down travel to Fillory, I'm still screwed."
"Cry me a river," Margo said. "You can hide literally anywhere in the universe. The rest of us don't have that luxury. So maybe don't throw our only semi-functional idea out of bed."
"Okay, stop," Alice cut in sharply. "This affects all of us."
"Yeah, minus Kai," Penny muttered darkly.
Alice shot him a look. "Let's put it to a vote. All in favor?"
Eliot's hand went up first. Then Margo's. After a pause, Alice raised hers too.
Quentin looked horrified. "Are you serious?"
But before he could object further, Penny groaned and stumbled, dropping to his knees. "What the… fuck…"
"Penny?!" Quentin rushed to him, only for his own legs to give out beneath him.
Eliot and Margo collapsed next. Alice's gasp cut short as she slumped against the couch.
Quentin's vision blurred, the world spinning violently around him. His last thought before the darkness swallowed him was bitter and sharp:
'Fuck me.'
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