Chapter 27
The girl in dream
The family reunion brings infinite joy. This simple happiness lessens the mother's pain. Thanh Hang is no longer tangled in family love; instead, human affection that has replaced it causes her to toss and turn.
For the past three days, the girl has only smiled in her dreams. Thanh Hang saw the girl hand her a cup of pure water. A hundred times, it was the same; whenever she received that affection, Thanh Hang woke up abruptly. The unfinished beautiful dream mocked her for daydreaming. That girl only existed in a perfect world.
The pressure of her suppressed psyche changes the dream. If Thanh Hang doesn't react, the girl lowers her head to hide her sadness. This is a nightmare for those who live on hope. The repeated nightmare causes suspicion. The mother leans on her son and asks herself if she truly believes in that girl or if she is deceiving herself. Does she just need a reason to avoid despair? The moment of weakness passes, hope wavers but doesn't collapse, and the mother gives all her faith to that strange girl.
This fragile trust will never break.
Thanh Hang thinks constantly, gradually falls asleep, and gets lost in a perfect world. The girl gives her nothing, but just gently holds the mother's hand. Thanh Hang receives warmth from the soft hands. That sorrowful gaze brimming with tears, and that gentle, tender smile... all feel more real than ever before.
If this is real, Thanh Hang wants to live in this feeling forever. If it's just a dream, she hopes the joy can be complete. Unfortunately, the illusory dream vanishes because of a familiar voice:
- Who is this?
Thanh Hang is about to embrace the girl to complete her beautiful dream, but again feels a sense of pity. The person who renders the dream unfulfilled is Sam. The mother's face frowns as she looks at her son. She is annoyed and wants to get angry, but can't bring herself to scold her son, so she can only sigh. Her mind muddled, she hears the girl's voice answer:
- Ah, hello!
Thanh Hang is startled; rubbing her blurry eyes, she immediately sees a familiar figure. She isn't a perfect girl. She's just a girl who walked out of a dream. Thanh Hang still thinks she's having the most beautiful dream. The mother hopes the dream is real. The bitter truth is, she has to live with the long nights of nightmares. When a wish comes true, Thanh Hang still thinks she hasn't woken up from her dream.
Thanh Hang silently watches the person she has been longing for. The girl's figure blurs in the mother's teary eyes. For many years, she wept with resentment over emotional ties, cried and lamented her sins, mourned her family, and wept for herself. All her feelings are about to crush her spirit, but the pressure vanishes in tears, because there is still human affection in this world. Thanh Hang smiles slightly, admiring the girl as she politely bows to Huge:
- Hello, uncle!
Sam yawns, and stares blankly as the girl takes off her hat and mask. He is raising his eyebrows and making his eyes widen like headlights. The guy who loves beauty opens his mouth wide, admiring the girl who is as beautiful as a flower in a dream.
She's not alluring, not sharp, not fragile, not weak; that flower is so pure that even Sam—a perverted guy who would immediately tease a beautiful girl—has no wicked thoughts now. Sam simply admires her, just like one would admire a flower. Only the innocent and pure Luu Ly is worthy of being compared to her. For him, Luu Ly is one of a kind. Sam is beholding her, listening as Thanh Hang calls softly:
- Hanna, I knew this day would come!
Sam's eyes go round as he watches her from head to toe. His mouth hasn't closed yet, and he stares at the old man. Catching a glimpse of Sam's expression of admiration for him, Huge smiles and scratches his nose, guessing that his son is secretly praising him:
"Splatter the bullets, the old father is about to become a god of prophecy..."
Sam doesn't let his eyes cloud his reason, and he is lost in admiration for the girl, but he still keeps an eye on his mother. Thanh Hang gives Hanna a faint smile, sits silently beside her son, and admires the girl with deep affection for a long time. She doesn't dare to blink, afraid that Hanna will disappear. The nightmare won't appear in real life again. She is next to Hanna, and she receives the girl's low and solemn bow:
- Hello, auntie!
Hanna has not, as in the dream, come forward to hold her hand. The girl shyly faces Sam and his father, and offers a gentle smile only to the mother. Thanh Hang no longer begs for any wish; she is satisfied with the girl's measured behavior, courtesy, and respect.
The reality being more beautiful than the dream proves that Hanna is real, not a dream. Thanh Hang smiles softly, tears glistening in her eyes. The mother and the girl silently turn toward the ones they care about.
At this moment, silence replaces a thousand words.
Sam is dazed by his mother's expression. Hanna is the benefactor who once saved his older brother's life; the mother is moved because she has reunited with Hanna. Sam still finds it strange, he is at a loss to guess why, so the son looks at the father. Huge winks in signal, and Sam nods in understanding, quietly leaving the room with his father so the mother and Hanna may speak alone.
Thanh Hang has longed for Hanna, yet now that the girl has appeared, countless words rise in her mind, but she is at a loss for words. Her own confusion makes it hard for Hanna to speak. The two remain silent, unintentionally creating an atmosphere of embarrassment.
Thanh Hang steals a glance at the shyness on Hanna's face and mocks herself for being inelegant. The other has not yet dared to speak of her relationship to Hoang Kim, and Thanh Hang's demeanor is far from subtle — as though she were forcing Hanna to reveal it. The mother chooses her words to open the story:
- Since childhood, Hoang Kim has been restless, always helping with everything — housework or delivering goods to customers — he would compete with me. The trouble with the boy was that he ran everywhere, because he loved to run and jump regardless of the distance. - She laughs, recalling her son's fiery childhood - Bring me salt to pickle fish — he ran. Buy groceries from the neighbor — he ran. Deliver goods — he ran the fastest. He was obsessed with running to the point of madness. He dropped and broke things many times because of running. I scolded him. He drew a lesson from it, yet still ran the next time.
Thanh Hang does not complain about the present, nor worry for the future, but chooses to tell of her son's childhood. The innocent times touch the heart more than any story. People will empathize and come closer together, for childhood is the most beautiful memory in a person's life.
Hanna loses herself in that memory. She turns to Hoang Kim in deep sadness, yet focuses on listening to those once-upon-a-time stories.
Thanh Hang catches the faint smile at the corner of Hanna's lips — a silent joy that replaces whatever she wanted to say. The mother still cannot fully read the girl's thoughts, but she feels Hanna remembers each flashback.
- Perhaps he was born to run!
Thanh Hang keeps her attention on her son, avoiding a direct glance at the flustered Hanna, who hides her moonlike, crimson face.
Hanna had not expected herself to utter such words of admiration.
She shyly lowers her head and listens as the mother tells stories of how Hoang Kim grew up over the years. Each deeply affectionate word stirs the girl's heart.
There is nothing exciting in such plain, ordinary life stories — yet they strangely enchant the listener.
Perhaps the monologue belongs to a sentimental soul, the listener is one of feeling, and the main figure is the image dwelling in the heart of the affectionate one. That figure is the bridge linking two strangers into familiarity. He is also a harbor in life for those who care about him.
Thanh Hang speaks with such warmth that she forgets space and time, forgetting what she has already told — only knowing she must pause the unfinished tale, for it is long, though for Hanna it seems all too short. The girl sits in a daze, cherishing the moment; she still longs to hear those stories that seem never to end.
Sometimes a tasteless story holds meaning for someone.
The narrator has been sitting for too long; her back aches and her shoulders tire. She slowly stands, then suddenly collapses. Hanna rushes to support Thanh Hang, wrapping the mother's arm over her own shoulder. Thanh Hang gives thanks and glances toward the washroom in the room.
Hoang Kim's mother is elderly and frail, so she must be in a place convenient for movement. This matter is not as eye-catching as the girl's attentive care to every smallest gesture. Once again, gentle emotion rises from the depths of the mother's heart.
Such feelings, easily misunderstood, bring to mind the masses of gossip-mongers on the internet. Those who like to live in the virtual world still do not know who Hanna is, yet make their judgments as if they were saints. The kind-hearted and the idle talkers divide into camps of admirers and the jealous.
Among the most jealous, no one is as jealous as fangirls. Every woman sends a heart to Thanh Hang's family, showing her feelings, trying to please her future mother-in-law. Yet they never imagined that a strange girl could steal away the chance to become the daughter-in-law.
Thanh Hang smiled gently, recalling the chaotic comments online. A group of wives across the world were all furiously cursing Hanna. They mocked that promiscuous woman, calling her a cheap prostitute, a person greedy for fame and fortune, shamelessly clinging to "my husband" for fame.
Sam had already shown Thanh Hang the world that reeks of a pungent stench: pain, mourning, and laughing at the victims' pain. All are mixed into a chaotic mess where truth and lies are hard to distinguish.
She despised comparing them to Hanna. A mother would never offend the benefactor who saved her son's life. Hanna was still the hope that restored the faith of the desperate. Thanh Hang sighed, realizing the reason a perfect dream turned into a nightmare — the suspicion in her mind created that nightmare. The mother shamefully leaned on Hanna's shoulder and returned to her son's side.
Hanna carefully helped her sit on the empty bed to the left of Hoang Kim. She circled behind Thanh Hang, gently massaging her shoulders and back.
Thanh Hang was not unfamiliar with Hanna's feelings toward her, but she was still surprised by Hanna's precise acupressure massage, with just the right strength to make frustration and fatigue dissolve with the pain. The troubles from the past few days faded away.
The girl who brought peace was the one Thanh Hang looked forward to every day. It seemed that only beside Hanna could the mother forget her worries. Although that peace lasted only for this moment, every minute and second of leisure was priceless to the mother. Hanna gently pressed another acupoint, and Thanh Hang felt a sharp pain. Hanna smiled softly:
- Auntie, don't worry, the pain is only temporary!
After the sharp pain, a feeling of relaxation spread throughout her body. The mother quietly expressed her thoughts with intimate words:
- Thank you. Since that day my son has been gone for a long time, today I feel a long-missed comfort return to me!
Hanna is momentarily stunned by the implicit meaning of being treated like family. Flustered, she stops for a beat. Since then, Hanna keeps busy behind Thanh Hang's back, ostensibly to relax her muscles, but in truth she is avoiding facing someone's mother. The mother smiled faintly, imagining the shyness, as if painting a feminine pink on Hanna's face.
Ordinary girls would happily flatter and try to win favor. Fangirls might not understand Thanh Hang's meaning. Hanna did not flatter nor try to win favor; she silently dispelled the mother's worries. At this moment, no one saw her, and embarrassment still painted peach pink on the pure flower.
- No matter how well I do, I can never be as good as Auntie's son! — Hanna said hesitantly and softly — Like a shadow and a back silhouette. A shadow is always a shadow; it can never compare to the back silhouette! I am just a shadow… nothing more!
Thanh Hang tested Hanna's communication sensitivity with this multilayered meaning. The mother wanted to use a measure of the human heart to understand a part of the girl's thoughts. Hanna answered profoundly that she could, like Hoang Kim, help someone's mother relieve fatigue and love the mother, but sadly, she could never give the feeling of love that a son gives a mother. Her feelings for the mother were only like "someone's" shadow.
Thanh Hang smiled at Hanna's answer. The mother was satisfied with how Hanna related to people and gave true feelings to "someone." "Someone" was the person omitted in the sentence.
Thanh Hang let tears of happiness flow. The mother still worried because Hanna modestly compared their statuses and thought she was not worthy of "someone."
Cruel life taught those facing a false world to be full of suspicion. Living her whole life in doubt, Thanh Hang only believed the person who loved most. If she truly cherished someone, she would have no doubts. Thanh Hang trusted the girl and likewise trusted the intuition of a mother. Intuition had never betrayed her.
Thanh Hang reflects on the inferiority complex of those who value their pride. Both self-respect and inferiority are psychological barriers for Hanna. Thanh Hang had to eliminate the invisible barriers separating all these relationships. The mother carefully emphasizes each word:
- A back silhouette cannot be without a shadow; the shadow is always behind the back silhouette. Shadows and back silhouette are forever together!
Behind the man is the shadow of a woman. The mother expressed her full heart, hoping that the pure flower would forever become the shadow of someone's shadow. This sentence also implies: be yourself.
Living out her true self is the girl the mother had always looked forward to.
Hanna shyly understands the meaning of the mother's trust; her bashful smile embellishes the pure flower into a vibrant peach blossom.
Feelings have been given; intentions have been sent. For two people who care about the same person, all words are meaningless.
Thanh Hang lets the warmth of human affection gently coax her to a peaceful sleep. All worries and pains disappeared with the nightmare.
After experiencing so many storms and burials, for the first time, Thanh Hang found complete joy in the most beautiful dream.
Because that girl in the dream was with the mother.
And because the shadow is always beside the back silhouette...
Hanna gently helps Thanh Hang lie on the bed and covers the mother with a blanket.
She sits beside the mother and turns to 'someone.' Alone in the quiet space, Hanna abandons reason. The peach blossom disappears as if it never existed, leaving only a drooping, disheartened flower. Happiness shatters in tears of pain.
From that fateful day, the shadow silently watched the back silhouette. The back silhouette always runs forward; the shadow quietly follows behind. The back silhouette never saw the shadow.
For three years, the shadow had longed to see the back silhouette and say thank you in person. The dream is coming true.
Reality is cruel to the back silhouette and the shadow. The dream turns into a nightmare.
Life is not as beautiful as a dream.
The girl in the dream is having the most painful nightmare.
That nightmare buries the back silhouette in her heart.
She will go wherever that back silhouette is. Just as a shadow always follows a back silhouette.