Quiet. It was so quiet that even breathing seemed shameful. Cold drops dripping from high arches fall silently into small puddles formed on the uneven surface of the cave.
The two sitting next to each other had been silent for some time, but neither was in a hurry to break the moment.
One understood the feelings of the other, the second was simply trying to collect his thoughts and come out with at least something acceptable. Too many words had been said, too many memories had been shattered, too much pain and truth had been revealed.
If at the beginning of the story Hao Ning listened attentively and with interest, then by the middle, he had difficulty controlling his own emotions. Several times he tried to stop Wei Huan, but then courageously pulled himself together, not daring to show such shameful weakness. He wanted to be strong for Wei Huan, as strong as the man had always been for all the people of the Celestial Empire.
The truth deprived Hao Ning of any words. The Gods turned out to be people. Incredibly strong, ascended to Heaven for various reasons, but of human nature. And one of them, the one who is now considered the harbinger of all troubles... sits right next to him. A man who fought to the last breath for the happiness of others, but was treacherously betrayed. And centuries later turned into an absurd scarecrow.
At the same time, the most respected God appeared to commit such a grave injustice. Yet the Nine were revered in every temple. Including... Yu Bing Han.
Why? How was this possible? Where was even a grain of justice in all this?
Hao Ning pursed his lips, clutching the fabric of his pants, and sniffed. Wei Huan could not ignore this sound. He slowly turned to the young man and looked at him in wonder.
– A-Ning? Why are you crying?
– You… – without wiping his tears away, Hao Ning crawled closer to Wei Huan and leaned his forehead against his shoulder. – I'm sorry.
– For what? – a light, comforting smile appeared on the man's lips. – You did nothing wrong.
– I was blind. So blind. – His hands slid to the man's waist, hugging him tightly. – At the very beginning, I thought you were rude and cold. Then I failed to understand the reason of your attitude to the Gods. And now I can do nothing to ease my heartache.
– A-Ning, in fact, – Huan looked thoughtfully at the vault of the cave, – my pain is not as strong as you think it is. Of course, the unexpected meeting with Yu Bing Han made the old wound sore, but I had long ago stopped thinking about those events.
– How? – Hao Ning pulled away sharply, looking at the man in disbelief. – How can you not be angry after everything that had happened to you?!
Wei Huan's palm lay softly on the top of the emotional youth's head. Sorting through the fair curls.
– I was very angry as soon as I found myself here. – he calmly explained. – Believe me, unbridled rage and hatred overwhelmed me. The Middle World became a trap from which I could not escape. Neither alive, but not dead either I was just a wandering spirit who had no way to return and take his revenge. When I found out that there was still a way out... – Huan grinned, as if remembering something funny, – I turned this world into another battlefield. I had to return to the Earthy Dwelling, and I was ready to do anything for this. I tried to reach the Gates for days, months, years, and centuries. My anger has not subsided, Hao Ning. It was a terrible time that almost got me turned into a vengeful demon. I would probably just go crazy if I continued like this.
– How did you... manage to overcome this feeling? – Hao Ning's clear eyes looked into the bottomless darkness opposite.
– Two things influenced me. – Huan hugged the young man, holding him tighter. – Yu Jin Ming also ended up here. My best friend, faithful comrade, and most reliable captain... To tell the truth, I still don't know what happened to him after my death.
The voice broke treacherously, but Wei Huan quickly cleared his throat to continue.
– When I asked him, he begged me not to question him. This is the only answer I will ever provide you with. Hence from that moment onwards, we did not raise that topic. And I didn't care, because I understood one inviolable truth – my friend died. And he changed a lot as if becoming a shadow of the Yu Ming I had once known. Since then he has been following me.
– And the second thing?
– This may sound implausible, but I… got tired. Tired of all that rage and hatred. From the destructive desire of vengeance and the all-consuming feeling of guilt. I have been angry for centuries, Hao Ning. Centuries! – Wei Huan sharply inhaled air through his nose. – I longed for the answers, I wanted justice. But this desire was destroying me.
The man fell silent for a while, continuing only after considering his further words.
– It took me a whale of time to recover and stop looking over my shoulder, expecting a knife to stab me in the back. I was exhausted and tortured by those feelings.
He closed his eyes, forcing himself to smile slightly.
– You met me in better days, Hao Ning. You wouldn't like the Wei Huan of the days long gone.
– No.
The sharp and unyielding answer caused sincere surprise in the general. He looked at Hao Ning, who pulled back slightly and sat down on his knees. His palms were clenched into fists, and his trembling lips betrayed all the sadness the young man was desperately trying to suppress.
– I would like you anyway. I... would like to be there in the most difficult moments of your life. But I was born too late, which is why I could not prevent your death. And I died too late, unable to show you the path out of the darkness to the light. I missed the time, A-Wei. Wherever I wanted to be at the right moment, I had always been late.
Wei Huan looked in amazement at the youth sitting opposite him: at first glance, fragile and graceful, but harboring undeniable courage and strength inside. Crushed by the weight of the truth that had overwhelmed him. Hao Ning was tormented by empathy and pain for the events long past. All this purity and sincerity, openheartedness and curiosity were his second nature.
Like a child who had escaped into the vastness of the endless world, he let new emotions pass through his mind. Wei Huan could only guess what life the young scholar had in the isolated monastery. But for some reason, he was confident in the beneficial teachings that cultivated compassion and naivety in Hao Ning.
Exalted like a Diety, Yu Bing Han skillfully hid the darkness and treachery in his soul, which young Wei Huan did not notice until it was too late. Blinded by his feelings, he was faced with a painful betrayal that deprived him of faith in the good intentions of people. And the inconsolable grief experienced on his deathbed chained his soul to the Middle World.
For many years Wei Huan hated, suffered, and blamed himself. He struggled and tried immensely, he wanted to live unbearably, but all that led only to an understanding of the futility of his own actions. Awareness seeped into his head bit by bit, involuntarily forcing the man to rethink his actions. Finally, his vision was clarified.
Wei Huan neither wanted ever again to trust anyone, nor to help anyone, or let anyone close. However, time took its toll and frequent revelations gave him the wisdom to accept what had happened. And even though his thoughts were sometimes carried away in a stream of distant memories, and the buried guilt quietly reminded of itself with phantom scars left on his heart, Wei Huan no longer plunged into the cold pool of self-torture.
His inner peace was the result of centuries of training, persistent meditation, and battles with the embittered spirits of this world. He had to learn how to smile again, learn to joke, recall empathy, and help. Indistinguishable from an ordinary person. In fact, Wei Huan was never completely able to regain his natural, sincere desire to trust someone.
Therefore, looking at how a stranger was mourning for his sins and mistakes, for the first time in many centuries Wei Huan wanted to open his soul, as once a time long ago. This feeling was frightening, instilled uncertainty, and revived forgotten emotions.
Yu Bing Han shook the hidden but still existent guilt that was swirling in the depths of his incorporeal, mortified shell along with resentment and anger. Hao Ning made him feel alive.
It was much easier to fight on the battlefield than to recognize the sincerity of another person. Could Hao Ning be trusted? Could the one who evoked simple human desires in Wei Huan be devoted? Will Wei Huan let himself make the same mistake a second time? Was it the awakened despair that spoke in him, or the notorious hope that had once dissolved in the silence of the cruel Gods?
– A-Ning...
The sound of the name that escaped his lips was quiet, hesitant, with an admixture of doubts and bitterness palpable on the tip of his tongue.
Hao Ning's relieved sigh was filled with admiration for the man's fortitude. Wei Huan's beautiful, calm mask was mesmerizing, but the distance and understatement were evident from the very beginning, marking the boundaries. That is why the fleeting, fragile emotion that frightened the great general was so valuable.
– A-Wei, you are so incredible. – whispered Hao Ning. There was so much tenderness in the youth's eyes that Wei Huan felt embarrassed. – You managed to find the strength to survive in the whirlpool of the terrifying memories. You smile, you care, and you move forward. If you allow me, I want to walk this path hand in hand with you. Let me heal the remaining echoes of your aching past. You have been learning to feel again for centuries, I am here, ready and willing to prove my fidelity for centuries.
– Hao Ning, how many times today will you leave me speechless? – a simple phrase that hid the severity of the emotions he was experiencing, was difficult for Wei Huan to utter.
He ran his fingers through his hair, squeezing it lightly and thinking about everything that had happened. It was necessary to answer at least something, but he could not. Hao Ning did not need this. His follow-up question touched on the topic at hand but touched on a slightly deeper, personal side.
– Tell me, A-Wei... – for the first time in a long conversation, the hesitant notes rang in Hao Ning's voice. – Those feelings that you had for him, besides admiration, friendship and boundless trust... there was something more to them, right?
The name wasn't uttered, thought only one person could be discussed now. Hao Ning's bitten lip turned red, he wanted to give himself a good nap for his stupid impulse, but there was no way to take back the words he had spoken. Wei Huan's reaction, fortunately, was much calmer than before – during Hao Ning's frank wish.
-You want to know whether I loved him? – the man shrugged his shoulders, shamelessly, but forgivably disingenuous. – I don't remember. Not anymore. It's a complicated feeling.
– Which doesn't turn you off? – the young scholar carefully tilted his head to the side, trying to look into the general's eyes. – What... do your memories tell you?
Wei Huan looked at Hao Ning's face. the youth's heart was on his sleeve. The scholar was filled with turbulent emotions he could barely control. They replaced one another fast: awkwardness and determination, embarrassment and hope, curiosity and excitement. These living, vivid feelings were blinding.
– One of the sides of love is trust, – ringing, fragile words hung in the air. – I have problems with it, but you promised me eternal fidelity. So there is a chance for us.
Hao Ning gasped when the deep, piercing gaze pulled him into a bottomless dark pool of the man's eyes, making his knees weak. Did these words carry a double meaning? The desire to rid Wei Huan of the echoes of the past was great, but could he hope for more, or was what he wanted simply accepted as reality?
Hao Ning's gaze fell on Wei Huan's lips. The flashing thought quickly touched his consciousness, but the audacity contained in it was unacceptable and too bold for a Scholar of the Ten. Hao Ning felt hot. The body involuntarily jerked to the side, trying to hide from the penetrating gaze.
A slight smile appeared on Wei Huan's lips when he touched them with his fingertips as if trying to retain the feeling of the timid gaze. That was not unpleasant, because Hao Ning evoked only the warmest feelings. But Huan was truly afraid of getting burned again. The wariness that followed him did not want to let go so easily, despite all his long efforts.
Hao Ning broke the awkward silence again. He desperately looked for an opportunity to change the topic, but all his thoughts boiled down to the one who filled his heart with violent anger and sadness for the fate of another person.
– Why do you think he ended up here?
– I don't know. Not even the slightest idea.
Wei Huan shrugged. He didn't want to think about Yu Bing Han anymore, even though he honestly promised to answer all the scholar's questions. And since there was a thought that haunted the general, why not allow them both to leave the painful conversation behind?
– A-Ning, what do you think about the Ten now? After everything you've heard.
The young man's body relaxed at this question, no longer resembling the string of the erhu. Hao Ning sat more comfortably in the lotus pose and didn't falter to speak out his thoughts.
– I have believed in the Ten for a long time, so it is not easy for me to accept the truth. Everything inside me seems to be fuming. – The young man took a deep breath. – I am confused. They turned out to be people who could not help even the one they chose as equal. They did not stop the destruction of the Empire and did not save ordinary citizens from the cruelty. They broke their oaths given at the Devine Halls. If they didn't care then, what hope can we have now? – the final words were difficult for Hao Ning to utter, but he still said them. – They seem to be selfish and treacherous, like… the mere mortals.
Thin shoulders sagged, and a strand of hair strayed from the bun and cast its shadow on the pensive face. The character "ten" embroidered with gold threads burned as the words left the tongue. It was blasphemy, but Hao Ning regrated not a word he uttered.
– But now at least I know that they are real, – the corners of Hao Ning's lips lifted in a slight smile. – Who would have thought that one of them would even be sitting here in front of me?
Wei Huan snorted in amusement, shaking his head.
– I am not a full-fledged God. I never completed the "test" assigned to me. And I don't know what happened after the war. Why am I known? Although judging by your words, I'm not appreciated...
Hao Ning's face darkened, clearly showing his entire attitude of injustice towards the Ninth God. Wei Huan hastened to assure him that this did not bother him at all, but the adept was adamant in his reluctance to put up with such a thing, especially now that he knew the true story.
– In the Celestial Empire, the Ten are worshipped, but there is some nuisance. –the youth tried to explain. – In the Holly books, the Devourer is inscribed as the Tenth God, who killed the Ninth One. That is why many claim that it was because of his arrival that all the problems began, and the other Dieties turned deaf to us. Heavens had never chosen a mortal as its equal, but the Tenth God was able to attract their attention. Unfortunately, being greedy, cruel, and treacherous, he wanted to rise above the others. Having seriously wounded the Ninth God, he went completely mad but was defeated in time. Since then, the Heavens has plunged into eternal silence. Heavenly Beings decided never again to give people a chance to approach the holy palaces. This is how we, mortals, were punished for the crimes of such a cunning and vile liar. We lost the mercy of the Gods. The Devourer was called the harbinger of death and misfortune, and we still sing the songs of sorrow to the soul of the Ninth Heavenly Lord.
Hao Ning almost spat out his last words through clenched teeth. Now all this sounded cruel, funny, and ironic because the truth was the absolute opposite of the temple doctrines.
– Troubles followed me. – Wei Huan answered too calmly. – Not directly, though I can't blame people for interpreting the days of yore that way.
– A-Wei!
The general interrupted the youth's indignation by affectionately covering his hand with his palm. Gently squeezing the soft skin, he felt a small tremor running through Hao Ning's entire body. This gentle scholar took other people's pain too much to his heart. That made the general unbearably want to hug and reassure him.
– It's is fine, A-Ning, everything is fine. I don't care. I never thought of becoming a God. I tried to save people not for the sake of becoming a legend on the pages of historical documents. You can't prove the truth after all this time. No need to think about it anymore.
Wei Huan tucked an unruly strand of the fair youth's hair behind the neat ear and smiled at him with such a soft smile that Hao Ning wanted to burst into tears. The one in whose heart there were so many cracks, the one who had to glue it together again when it was shuttered in pieces, the one who diligently regained his love for the world... now consoled him, soothing him with care.
Hao Ning felt pitiful and useless. He wanted to help so badly, but he couldn't change anything. The scholars of the Mount Redemption knew by heart all the chants dedicated to the Gods; even in their sleep they were able to quote the most difficult line from any book in a vast library; they could easily repel the evil that decided to disturb the peace of the peak, but... only their adherents were not taught how to cope with emotions.
"Serving the Gods reject all worldly and follow the example of the unattainable Heaven".
Hao Ning followed this sublime rule for twenty-five years, and then he died and realized how difficult it was to be human.
It's nice and good to live in a warm cocoon, protected from any bustle of the world, but that couldn't go on like this forever. He needed to pull himself together, change, and become worthy of being next to the general.
Hao Ning's lips parted, but the words were drowned out by a sharp roar that came from outside the cave. Wei Huan instantly turned his attention, summoning a sword into his hand. He had recovered sufficiently during the conversation. The energy flowed within him, although not with primary power, but acceptable for defense in the event of an unexpected attack.
No attack, to the relief of both men, followed. However, Wu Zhe Kai who appeared next moment, looked pale and anxious. Quickly finding his friends in a dark corner of the cave, he rushed to them. No more explanations were necessary.
– Hurry! We have to leave! A rift opened next to the cave. Jin Yu Ming remained to cover us, but...
Another deafening roar shook the rocky vault, showering dust on the heads of the people there.
Wei Huan stood up. Hao Ning cleared his throat, rising to his feet too. The primary goal was to get out of the cave. He second – to decide what to do next. Silent agreement united friends who were ready to leave the destroying place as soon as possible.
The first step was almost taken when a playful, affectionate, and overly happy voice rang outside, making all three wanderers freeze.
– A-Wei! Oh, A-Wei! Come to me! Wei Huan, I'm waiting for you.