"I just wanted to talk. I need to discuss a few things because I'm confused. I don't think I can talk about this with anyone other than you."
I was standing in front of Lucas, who displayed the same aloof attitude as always. His indifference only added fuel to my anger. I stood my ground. I wasn't going to back out this time.
One drunken night had turned everything into a nightmare.
Lucas and I had been childhood best friends. We practically did everything together, and one drunken night changed everything between us. Our worlds were turned upside down.
I still remember my eighteenth birthday.
Lucas's family was wealthy, and they lived in a mansion. After getting permission from his parents, he hosted my birthday party at their mansion and invited all our friends. We had a blast that day, partying until three in the morning.
A few minutes later, we dragged ourselves towards Lucas's room. We were laughing our hearts out while recalling some of the incidents that had happened at the party.
Even after entering his room, we couldn't stop laughing. However, as the seconds passed, our laughter gradually faded, and silence engulfed the room.
We found ourselves staring at each other for no particular reason. Perhaps the sudden heat between us was the result of alcohol. I was more than tipsy, but I was still conscious, and so was he.
For some reason, I couldn't hold his gaze. His intense stare was making me feel things I couldn't quite understand. I quickly averted my eyes, trying to distract myself.
The next moment, he was standing right in front of me, almost like the wind.
I was stunned.
I had seen Lucas up close countless times. Never had it made me feel the way I was feeling at that moment. His blue eyes stared straight into mine, making my heart pound even harder.
We were the same height, five feet ten inches, yet I somehow felt shorter standing in front of him.
Had he always been this muscular? Why was I noticing it only now?
My hands were practically itching to run through his shaggy hair, but I restrained myself from doing anything stupid.
This wasn't good.
My heart was racing at our sudden closeness. We were best friends, and this was nothing unusual. Yet, somehow, it felt different.
The closeness was almost suffocating, and there was an undeniable hint of something more between us.
I wanted to push him away, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Our breathing grew heavier, and I had no idea what he was going to do next.
He didn't say a word. Instead, his hand slid slowly from my waist up to the nape of my neck, his fingers tangling into my hair just enough to anchor me there. His eyes locked onto mine, searching for any sign of hesitation. When I didn't pull back, he leaned in, his warm breath brushing against my lips a split second before closing the tiny distance left between us.
The next morning, I woke up aching all over. The bed beside me was empty.
Was it a hit-and-run case?
I couldn't help questioning myself.
Memories of the previous night came rushing back, overwhelming me all at once. So much had happened between us in a single night. I wasn't angry, but I was definitely shaken.
Was it a good thing or a bad one?
What next?
How would things be between us? How was he going to react? How was I supposed to behave around him?
Whatever happened, I didn't want to lose him from my life.
I wanted to talk to him.
The bathroom door opened, drawing my attention. Lucas stepped out, wiping his hair with a towel.
His eyebrows knitted together when he saw me, as though he were still wondering why I was there. Perhaps he had expected me to disappear by the time he finished showering.
How the hell was I supposed to do that when I was still thoroughly shaken?
We stared at each other for a few seconds. It was awkward, to say the least. Everything had changed overnight, and there was no way to undo it.
Clearing his throat, Lucas finally spoke.
"You should get going. What happened last night was a drunken mistake."
I was stunned on the spot as his words hit me in a full blow.
Sure, everything had happened while we were drunk. But that didn't mean we weren't aware of what we were doing. I could still remember every damn thing. I bet he does too.
"We need to talk. I... I can't—"
I was interrupted mid-sentence.
"Please get going. I don't want this reaching anyone else's ears. It's a request."
His tone was so much harsh.
I stared at him, hoping he would change his mind. But his expression remained stern and unreadable.
With no other choice, I started looking for my clothes. Within minutes, I was out of his room.
After reaching home, I took a long shower, still trying to process everything. I was confused as hell.
I needed to talk to someone. How was I supposed to process everything without discussing it? How could I simply ignore what had happened as though it were nothing?
Why had it felt so good the previous night?
I hadn't stopped him, and he hadn't been in a position to hold himself back either. It hadn't been forced. I had wanted it, and I had enjoyed it.
What did that make me?
I had never dated anyone, so I had no experience to draw conclusions from. But the previous night's incident had certainly given me a glimpse into my sexuality.
After stepping out of the shower, I sat on my bed.
I couldn't ignore what had happened. I needed answers.
What exactly was this between us?
So many questions were flooding my mind, desperately seeking answers. But I couldn't force Lucas into a conversation, at least not yet.
Perhaps I should give him some time. Just like me, he was probably confused and lost.
I made up my mind to wait patiently.
However, I hadn't anticipated what he would do next.
Lucas started avoiding me like the plague.
He stopped accompanying me to college as he used to. Whenever our friends asked him to join us, he came up with the lamest excuses. I was pretty sure I was the reason behind them.
He made sure not to be anywhere near me.
It hurt, but I let it slide.
Then I discovered that he had blocked my number on his phone and even blocked me on several social media platforms.
That was a little too much to handle within a few days. Still, I tried not to take it personally. I knew he needed time.
But blocking me everywhere was a bloody harsh step, and it hurt like hell.
He maintained that attitude for two straight months.
I had tolerated enough of his bullshit. I needed to put an end to the questions that had been haunting me. I didn't want another pause or another excuse.
I wanted answers.
I decided to meet him face-to-face.
I stood in front of his mansion, took a deep breath, and walked inside.
His father, Mr. Jonathan, was delighted to see me. He looked surprised but immediately gestured for me to take a seat.
"How are you, young man? It's been a while."
"Yes, Uncle. I was busy with exams and sports events."
"That's okay. You youngsters have hectic schedules. I understand. So, what brings you here?"
"I wanted to meet Lucas."
He looked perplexed, and I couldn't understand why.
"What? You don't know? Lucas left the country to pursue his higher studies. How come you're not aware of it? You were his closest friend!"
I was dumbfounded.
One question after another hit me. How? When? And, most importantly, why?
His father continued, seemingly unaware of the storm brewing inside me.
"He even threw a farewell party for all his friends before leaving."
It took me a few seconds to digest his words. I was still in a daze when he asked another question.
"Is everything okay between you two?"
I somehow managed to pull myself together. I didn't want to give him even the slightest hint of what had happened.
"We had a fight over something, and he's probably angry with me. It's nothing, Uncle. Never mind. I'll contact him."
With that, I left the mansion abruptly.
Once outside, I started walking without knowing where I was going.
After hours of wandering, my legs finally gave up. I sat down by the roadside without caring about anything around me.
I was frustrated with myself for letting things get this far. I cursed myself for ruining years of friendship.
One incident had managed to destroy everything between us.
I was boiling with anger at him for leaving without even discussing things with me.
He was gone, leaving me hanging.
***************
"Mr. Landon Murphy, please come in."
The voice of Dr. Veronica Wills, my psychiatrist, brought me back to reality.
She gestured for me to enter, and I followed.
For the past few months, I had been attending therapy sessions, but nothing seemed to be working. During every session, she tried her best to help me understand and come to terms with my sexuality. Yet, I hadn't fully accepted it.
Every time a session ended, my mind would return to its usual chaos.
After Lucas left the country, I became even more confused and lost. I desperately wanted to discuss everything with someone, but I couldn't decide whom to approach.
My family and friends were out of the question.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't bring myself to talk to any of them. Therapy seemed to be my only option, and nobody knew about my sessions. Not even my family or friends.
I was close to my friends, but I couldn't discuss any of this with them for fear of bringing Lucas into the conversation. The same applied to my family.
I was an only child. My parents would have been more than willing to help me, but Lucas's sudden departure and my questions about my sexuality would have made it rather easy for them to connect the dots.
Lucas had specifically cautioned me against revealing what had happened to anyone.
So, I was left with no choice.
My relationships with my friends hadn't changed, nor had my interactions with my other male friends. On the other hand, I didn't feel inclined to date girls either.
Was it really a drunken mistake?
No, it wasn't.
I remembered every second of that night as though it had happened yesterday. Most importantly, I had enjoyed everything.
Dr. Veronica was a good doctor. She genuinely tried to help me, and I appreciated that. She made sense, and I knew it. But somehow, I wasn't convinced.
I wanted to talk to him.
I needed to clear everything up with him. I wanted to pour my heart out and tell him everything I had been holding inside.
Was that too much to expect?
He couldn't simply abandon me like this and block me everywhere.
My friends and family were equally worried. They kept asking what had happened between Lucas and me.
My parents were shocked when they learned that Lucas had left the country without informing either them or me. They were particularly close to him, and considering that I was his best friend, their reaction was understandable.
My friends were even more surprised when I failed to attend the farewell party Lucas had thrown.
How the hell was I supposed to tell them that I hadn't even received an invitation?
How was I supposed to explain to my parents that he hadn't bothered to inform me about his departure?
Coming up with excuses and diverting conversations had become part of my routine. They weren't convinced, but thankfully, they didn't push me to spill the beans.
I was stuck.
And four years had passed.
I was now a successful architect, working for one of the most reputable companies. I loved my job because it kept me occupied, giving me a temporary escape from the unwanted thoughts that constantly tried to find their way back into my mind.
Over time, I had stopped attending therapy sessions. They weren't getting me anywhere. I wasn't making any progress, and every session left me with the same unanswered questions.
Eventually, I gave up.
One day, in our group chat, one of my friends announced that Lucas was back. They were planning to throw a party to welcome him, and everyone was discussing how I should finally clear the air between us.
I desperately wanted to do that.
I had been waiting for this moment for years.
But was he willing to do the same?
I was sitting in my room, replying to their messages with a simple 'Okay'. After sending it, I put my phone aside.
I couldn't help feeling happy. I had been anxiously waiting for this day, and now it was finally here.
Perhaps I could put a permanent end to all those unanswered questions by talking to him.
I wasn't particularly interested in attending the party, but my friends practically dragged me along.
I wanted to meet him privately. I needed a one-on-one conversation.
We hadn't contacted each other in four years. He had done everything possible to avoid me, and I couldn't deny that.
I wanted to blame him, but I couldn't. He must have had his reasons for taking such a drastic step.
Still, it had hurt.
After gathering myself, I entered the pub.
I took a seat and poured myself a drink. Lucas hadn't arrived yet, and I was beginning to feel nervous.
Ten minutes later, he walked in with a girl.
I was slightly taken aback.
He greeted everyone, including me, and introduced the girl as Elisa, his girlfriend.
And there I was, standing on the sidelines, while he seemed to have successfully moved on.
An hour passed, and I could conclude that Elisa was beautiful and charming. She suited him in every possible way. I knew his preferences well enough to understand that she was exactly his type.
We barely spoke. There was nothing much to say, apparently.
My friends kept signalling me to make the first move, but I held back.
Elisa's friends had joined her too, much to everyone's delight. My friends were having a wonderful time, while I sat back and observed everything, occasionally sipping my drink.
His interaction with his girlfriend annoyed me more than I cared to admit. But then again, who was I to complain?
I was waiting for an opportunity, silently praying that God would grant me one.
I needed closure, and hopefully, I would get it that night.
My prayers were finally answered when Lucas excused himself and headed towards the washroom.
My friends practically pushed me to follow him. According to them, I would be an idiot to miss this opportunity.
I patiently waited outside.
When Lucas stepped out, he was visibly shocked to see me.
He seemed ready to escape, just as he had done years ago. But my determined stance must have been enough to convince him that I wasn't going anywhere.
With an annoyed sigh, he finally gestured for me to follow him.
He looked irritated, and I understood why. But some things were still left unresolved, and we couldn't keep pretending they didn't exist forever.
We stepped outside the pub and moved to a relatively secluded spot where nobody could overhear our conversation.
He stood facing the road, not even bothering to look at me.
Not a second had passed before he spoke.
"What?"
There it was again. The same tone, the same attitude.
Was I the only one who needed closure?
He had moved on, and I understood that. But what about that night? How could he forget everything and carry on as though nothing had happened?
"I just wanted to talk. I need to discuss a few things because I'm confused. I don't think I can talk about this with anyone other than you."
"What's there to discuss? It was a drunken mistake. That's it. Nothing else."
"It fucking wasn't! Don't feed me that bullshit."
He gritted his teeth before responding.
"Well, suit yourself."
"We need to discuss what happened. I'm still stuck."
He finally turned towards me.
"As you can see, I've moved on. You can do the same."
"Easy for you to say."
"It's not that difficult."
"I'm confused."
"I'm not. My mind is crystal clear about what I want, and I want Elisa in my life. Don't create complications. Move on and get a life, okay?"
"Without even discussing—"
He sighed.
"Oh, God! Why are you so stubborn? As I've already told you, there's nothing to discuss. It was a one-time accident. Simple as that. Move on, will you? Don't complicate things for yourself. And for my sake, okay?"
"But—"
"Listen, Landon. I'm done with this conversation. Move on. I'm serious."
With that, he stormed back into the pub.
I remained rooted to the spot, unable to process anything.
I took my time trying to compose myself and distract my mind. I couldn't stay outside for too long, or my friends would start worrying.
Eventually, I went back inside and took my seat beside Arthur.
He leaned towards me and whispered, asking whether everything had been sorted out.
I simply smiled, neither confirming nor denying anything. The truth was, I was just as confused as before.
Lucas was seated beside his girlfriend, clinging to her even more than before.
Meanwhile, my friend Alex, who worked as a police officer, reminded everyone to drink responsibly. He mentioned that drunk-driving incidents were increasing and leading to accidents.
Naturally, everyone started sharing their opinions on the matter.
Lucas seized the opportunity and joined the conversation.
"Anything can happen when we're drunk. A few things might even be beyond our control. We shouldn't make a big deal out of everything. But that doesn't mean we should violate the law. Anything could happen."
While delivering the last part, he glanced directly at me.
Was he trying to reassure himself or me?
Three times in a row couldn't possibly qualify as a drunken mistake.
Dammit!
I tried my best to remain cheerful throughout the evening. I didn't want to become sentimental and spoil everyone's mood.
Finally, we said our goodbyes after midnight.
Once I reached home, I freshened up and collapsed onto my bed.
I kept replaying the entire conversation in my mind.
A conversation was supposed to involve two people, wasn't it? What about my opinion? He had said everything he wanted to say, and that was supposed to be the end of it.
Even though I desperately needed closure, shouldn't we at least discuss what had happened?
I was still confused as hell.
I knew I needed to move on, too, but before doing that, I wanted to clear things up.
I wasn't willing to give up without at least having a proper conversation. I had made up my mind.
I called Arthur and gathered information about Lucas, including where he was currently working.
I still had Lucas's number, although I was probably still on his block list.
Through Arthur, I learned that Lucas had returned because of his father's health condition. I hadn't known anything about it.
He was now practising medicine at one of the most reputable hospitals. Considering his academic achievements and family background, none of that was particularly surprising.
Lucas had always been brilliant. His family background might have opened a few doors for him, but he certainly had the intelligence to make the most of those opportunities.
I was on a mission.
Over the next couple of days, I tried everything possible to get hold of him.
I waited outside the hospital for hours, but not once did he bother to approach me or even spare me a glance.
I even tried visiting his house, but every attempt ended with him lashing out at me.
Everything was crushing me from within, and I had no idea what else to do.
He was doing everything possible to make me give up.
Perhaps it was time I finally did.
One fine day, my manager called me into his cabin.
After entering, I was asked to take a seat. I waited for a few minutes before he informed me about my promotion along with a transfer.
I had been expecting a promotion, but not a transfer.
He gave me a knowing look and advised me to think carefully before making a decision. He tried to convince me that it was a wonderful opportunity and offered a few other words of encouragement.
I nodded and eventually left his cabin.
I was in a daze.
I hadn't informed anyone about it, not even my parents. I wanted time to think things through.
Being the only son of my parents would undoubtedly influence my decision, and I didn't want anyone else involved in it just yet.
The transfer was to another country.
Was that a good thing or a bad one?
If I accepted it, I could finally escape everything that had been happening. I was tired of seeking answers. Perhaps a new place, unfamiliar surroundings, and some distance would help me overcome everything that had been crushing me inside.
This was a blessing in disguise.
For the first time in a long while, a genuine smile appeared on my face.
Before going to sleep, I had made up my mind. I emailed my manager and confirmed my acceptance.
The following day, my manager congratulated me on my promotion, and my colleagues joined in.
I was happy and genuinely looking forward to experiencing new things in life.
That same day, I informed my parents about my promotion and transfer.
Naturally, they weren't particularly happy about the transfer. But I explained how important this opportunity was to me and why I needed it.
My parents had witnessed my gloomy state for quite some time. They had tried discussing it with me, but I had never opened up.
I made them understand how much this opportunity meant to me, and eventually, they agreed.
I hadn't informed any of my friends yet. I wasn't entirely sure why, but I wanted to surprise them with a farewell party at the last moment.
They would undoubtedly be shocked, but I'm sure they would come around.
A few days later, I was sitting at the airport, waiting for my flight.
I felt relieved.
I couldn't explain why, but I wasn't stressing over the past anymore. I no longer felt the desperate need to find answers.
It was almost like saying goodbye to everything.
Was this how Lucas had felt when he left the country?
He probably wouldn't have returned if it weren't for his father's health condition.
Running away from a problem could sometimes feel like a solution, rather than constantly addressing it and stressing over it.
For the first time, I understood him.
This was the best decision of my life.
And I was smiling.
***************
A few months had passed since I moved to my new country, and so far, I loved everything about the place.
My colleagues were wonderful. They helped me settle into my work and even took the time to show me around.
Before long, the place started feeling like home. The only people I missed were my parents.
I called them regularly to check on them.
My friends, on the other hand, were worried sick. It was my first time living alone, and they were understandably paranoid.
Three months into my new life, something unexpected happened.
I started dating.
A girl, to be precise, and she was my colleague.
I had never imagined myself doing something like that anytime soon, but here I was, enjoying my dating life.
A few dates eventually led us to the bedroom, and I was initially hesitant.
I had shared my past with Lilly, and her reassurance gave me enough confidence to take that step.
I crossed that barrier too.
Now, I could finally call myself bisexual.
A new place certainly brings new changes within us.
A few months later, Lilly and I broke up on good terms. There simply wasn't enough of a spark between us, but we remained good friends.
No hard feelings.
I wanted to explore more and understand myself better. I wanted to experience what dating guys felt like, including the intimacy.
After a few hookups, I could say it was good.
That was all I could conclude. Nothing more, nothing less.
Nothing seemed to work in the long run.
I could barely put up with anyone for more than two or three months. Lilly was the only one I had dated for that long; with a few others, things lasted barely a couple of days.
I couldn't figure out where I was going wrong with dating.
Most importantly, I still couldn't forget my first time with Lucas.
My first in everything.
For obvious reasons, I hated everything that had happened and the way it had changed a part of my life.
It was the weekend, and I was practically dead on my bed.
I was jolted awake by a loud banging on my door, followed by the continuous ringing of the doorbell.
What the hell was happening?
It was barely morning!
I desperately needed some sleep.
Throwing my blanket aside, I got out of bed and marched towards the door, fuming.
I was in for a surprise when I opened it.
My friends!
The anger on my face disappeared instantly, replaced by excitement.
I was genuinely happy to see them.
Before I could even say anything, everyone pulled me into a group hug and made their way into my flat as though they owned the place.
I was stunned for a few seconds when I noticed Lucas among them.
I hadn't expected him to come along.
Was I daydreaming?
I couldn't help pinching myself.
Our eyes met, and we stared at each other.
After a few seconds, he brushed past my shoulder rather harshly and invited himself inside.
A jerk would always be a jerk.
My friends already had a long list of things they wanted to do. They started discussing their plans and strongly warned me to cooperate.
They were staying for seven days, which meant I had to apply for leave.
That same day, we spent our time drinking, chatting, and partying in my flat.
Every now and then, Lucas and I would accidentally lock eyes, and I would immediately look away.
I didn't want to revisit those memories.
Everything had been left unresolved, and perhaps I wanted to keep it that way.
Constantly digging for answers and clinging to the past was exhausting.
Maybe some things were meant to remain unresolved for our own good.
I lived in a two-bedroom flat, and there were eight uninvited guests.
It was past midnight, and I was still trying to figure out how to accommodate everyone.
They were my bloody friends, and I knew exactly how they made themselves at home.
By throwing me out of my own bed!
Damn them.
For the next few days, I would have to forget about my comfortable bed. The couch was going to be my companion.
Thank God they hadn't thrown me onto the floor.
The following morning, we made a plan to explore the city and headed out.
There was a certain tension between Lucas and me. There had always been tension since that particular incident, but this time, something felt different.
I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but there was definitely something different about the way we behaved around each other.
Ever since that incident, we had barely spoken. We had avoided each other, and that hadn't changed.
Yet, something seemed to be brewing between us.
We spent the day sightseeing, trying local food and drinks, and covering as many places as possible.
By evening, we ended up at a pub.
After entering, we ordered drinks and settled into our seats. We were chatting among ourselves when Lilly suddenly showed up.
She greeted everyone and introduced herself as my ex-girlfriend.
I desperately wanted to skip that part because my friends knew nothing about my dating life.
I thought she would leave after a few minutes, but instead, she invited her friends to join us.
As expected, my friends had absolutely no complaints.
They welcomed the newcomers, and soon everyone was having a great time.
It was past midnight when we finally said goodbye to Lilly and her friends and headed back to my flat.
We were exhausted, and sleep took over almost immediately.
The following day was no different.
After visiting a few more places, my friends suddenly demanded that we visit a gay club.
I was taken aback by their unexpected request.
My eyes instinctively shifted towards Lucas for a few seconds. He looked completely unbothered by the suggestion.
After a moment's hesitation, I agreed and took them there.
I ran into a few guys I had dated previously. Strangely enough, none of my friends questioned me about them.
They weren't even particularly curious.
Their behaviour surprised me, but I decided not to overthink it.
We enjoyed ourselves until we were completely exhausted. By the time we returned to the apartment, most of us were thoroughly drunk.
Eventually, their vacation came to an end.
Today, everyone was heading back home.
I was a little sad, but I couldn't complain. I was the one who had chosen this path.
My friends were gathered near the entrance, except for Lucas, who was busy in the kitchen.
I hugged everyone one last time and bid them goodbye.
After closing the door, I walked into the hall, where Lucas was casually sipping his coffee.
I was irritated just looking at him.
I still couldn't understand what the hell he was doing here or why he was so comfortable in my flat.
"Are you not heading back?"
"I have a conference to attend."
"And?"
"And I'm staying here until then."
"This is my flat. You need to seek permission before deciding to stay here."
"Okay. Can I stay?"
"No. Go and stay in a hotel."
"What? Why? We're best friends."
"Don't use that bloody card. Get the hell out of my flat right now!"
I was fuming for several reasons.
I had thought I had successfully forgotten everything, but deep down, I was still seeking answers.
This was pathetic.
One of us was acting indifferent, while the other was still stuck in the past.
"I'm sorry."
I was taken aback.
Had I heard him correctly?
It had been nearly five years, and he was finally apologising.
He looked at me before continuing.
"I was scared and confused after that night. I was horrified when the scenes from that night started flashing through my mind, one after another. During the first week, I practically locked myself away. I was even mortified to look at myself in the mirror. More than anything, the thought of facing you scared the hell out of me. I didn't want to discuss it or reach any conclusions."
I was trying to digest every word.
I knew neither of us had anticipated what had happened that night. Everything had occurred so suddenly, like a volcanic eruption, disrupting the lives we had known.
"Those memories started haunting me."
As he said that, he stood up and slowly walked towards me.
We were now standing face-to-face.
"I didn't know what to do. I was terrified of facing you, especially knowing how stubborn you could be. I knew you wanted answers, but I didn't want to confront reality. I knew how desperately you had tried to reach me just to have a conversation. Your face reminded me of everything that had happened that night. I wanted to forget it all at any cost, even if that meant forgetting you."
A pang shot through my heart.
He hadn't just chosen to escape. He had chosen to forget me, as though I had never existed.
What about all those years of friendship?
"It wasn't easy. Nothing about it was easy. My father's expectations, his reputation, and my career plans... everything pushed me towards making such a drastic decision. I needed that escape."
I believed him.
I couldn't find the words to respond. Memories I had buried deep inside started flooding my mind.
"It was my first experience, and I wanted to close that chapter as though it had never happened. I wanted to erase that incident from my mind."
This was becoming too much.
I wanted him to stop explaining himself. I didn't want to hear any more.
I felt suffocated.
"I started dating and immersed myself in my studies. Perhaps that helped me leave some of it behind. At least, that's what I thought. I deceived myself into believing that I had successfully suppressed everything that was erupting inside me like lava. I convinced myself that it had all been nothing more than a drunken mistake. But when I returned, your face was enough to bring back everything I had tried so hard to conceal."
The distance between us gradually disappeared.
Tears began to well up in both our eyes.
I wanted him to stop talking, but my throat had gone dry.
"I used every bit of my willpower to remain strong and stick to my decision. Everything seemed normal again, just the way it used to be. Just as I had planned and as my father wanted. But your constant attempts to approach me threatened everything. I did my best to avoid you, and eventually, I succeeded in making you give up."
He paused for a moment.
"I should have been happy when you left under the pretext of a transfer. Only the two of us knew the actual reason behind your departure. You had never planned on leaving your parents behind. I enjoyed your absence for a few days. I felt relieved when everything finally stopped. No more questions, no more digging into the past, and no more one-on-one discussions. Finally, you had given me what I had been craving all along."
His voice grew softer.
"I found my solace in your disappearance."
Lucas slowly placed his head against my chest and inhaled deeply.
"After a few days, though, I started feeling things I couldn't understand. Your absence pushed me into distress. Everything I had buried started finding its way back into my thoughts. I began to understand how you must have felt when I disappeared. How much you had struggled alone."
He took a shaky breath.
"I found out about your therapy sessions, too. That's when everything I had been holding inside finally came crashing down. And now, here I am, at your mercy. Please don't push me away the way I pushed you. I beg you."
Tears were flowing freely down my cheeks.
My five years of pain seemed to disappear in that moment, perhaps because of his confession or simply because he was finally here.
I couldn't quite put my finger on it.
All I knew was that a sense of relief washed over me.
After that incident, we had both gone through similar emotions, but we had dealt with them differently.
One of us had desperately wanted a conversation, while the other had chosen to run away.
Whether through confrontation or avoidance, we had finally found our way back to each other.
Lucas continued inhaling my scent.
"I missed this. Your scent drove me crazy that night. It made me lose control."
I wasn't expecting such a blunt confession.
I pushed him away slightly.
"I'm not going to give in that easily. You made my life miserable for more than five years!"
He chuckled in response.
"I don't want you to give in easily. I'm going to win you over. I want my bottom back."
What the hell?
My anger reached its boiling point in an instant.
Was that supposed to be a pickup line?
"Fuck off!"
I pushed him away and started walking towards my bedroom.
He followed me, laughing his heart out.
"Hey!"
He caught my hand and gently pulled me towards him.
We were standing too close again.
"If you're in my life, I don't mind being versatile for you. For you anything."
Now, that sounded like a pickup line.
Before I could come up with a response, the next thing I knew, our lips were locked.
THE END.