[When Inoichi tried to search for information about Jomae Village again, he couldn't find much because even Hanare herself didn't know much about the place.]
[Thankfully, Inoichi remained persistent and kept digging deeper. Eventually, Hanare's mind recalled what Kakashi looked like as a child. So, Inoichi arranged for Kakashi to approach Hanare and try to get information out of her.
[But instead of taking her back to the Honesty Room for interrogation, Kakashi took a more natural approach—he accompanied her on a casual day around Konoha.]
"So, Hanare had actually met Kakashi when she was a child. No wonder that village chose her for the mission."
In the timeline of the Third Hokage.
From a woman's perspective, Kushina felt a bit disgusted by what Inoichi and Kakashi were doing.
Using emotions to extract information from someone?
That felt pretty low and dirty.
But from a shinobi's point of view, anything was fair game when it came to gathering intel. Emotions, deception—whatever it took.
Even if Kakashi had to sacrifice himself for it... pfft, that would be too cheap for him!
"Kakashi, I'll say it again—you have to bring her back."
Sakumo's tone was firm.
He had no choice but to be serious. Knowing his son's personality, if no woman ever made the first move on him, he'd probably stay single his whole life.
And that was unacceptable.
The great Hatake clan that had lasted for hundreds of years couldn't possibly die out in his son's hands!
Now that they had finally found a girl who seemed to have a somewhat ambiguous relationship with Kakashi, Sakumo clung to the idea like a lifeline.
He didn't care what Kakashi thought about it—he had already decided Hanare would be his daughter-in-law.
"Kakashi, don't worry. The village won't stand in the way between you and Hanare."
Jiraiya also voiced his support.
The village Hanare came from wasn't even as strong as Grass or Takigakure. With Konoha's current strength, it didn't matter at all if such a village was considered hostile.
Even if Hanare really was a spy, so what? Worst case, he'd just absorb that crappy village into theirs — then wouldn't she be one of their own?
Jiraiya gave himself a mental thumbs-up for his brilliance.
".…What a tragedy."
Pretty much everyone thought he and Hanare were a good match.
Honestly, he really wanted to say — there was nothing going on between him and Hanare.
He only got close to her to gather intel.
As for that so-called first kiss... total accident. He didn't want that to happen either.
But looking at the situation now, if he didn't get together with Hanare, his father probably wouldn't let it go.
And Jiraiya — not to mention the others obsessed with that eye-jutsu sealing stuff — definitely wouldn't either.
This was getting out of hand.
Still—
"Hanare, huh? …Could be worse."
[That day, Naruto was eating Ōtsutsuki Ichiraku Ramen after completing a mission, when he saw Kakashi walking with a girl. He was so shocked he nearly passed out, spat out all the Sage Ramen broth, and failed to fully replenish his chakra — a moment that foreshadowed future events.]
[Team 7 quickly regrouped and began tailing Hanare and Kakashi.]
[Hanare looked around at the strangely paired-up villagers, then glanced at the strikingly handsome Kakashi. Her cheeks turned red, and she even started imagining how many kids they'd have together.]
[Then Kakashi brought her to a quiet, secluded spot. The two of them began stargazing.]
[Kakashi pointed out a pair of clouds and said they looked just like Naruto and Sasuke. He sounded like some overzealous fangirl shipping her favorite couple.]
[Hanare, on the other hand, opened up and admitted she was a spy raised and stationed outside the village. She shared a lot about herself.]
[At this point, the amount of intel Hanare provided increased dramatically across Ibiki, Inoichi, and Kakashi. Honestly, Konoha should consider sending more handsome guys to interrogate female spies. Maybe they could even turn the footage into a good-looking spinoff episode. It might even help with the village's population issues. A total win-win.]
"Cough, cough, cough~"
In the timeline of the Fourth Hokage.
The Third Hokage, who had been puffing furiously on his pipe, choked the moment that last line appeared on the light screen and started coughing violently.
Beside him, Kushina hugged baby Naruto and scooted away with a look of pure disgust.
She had no intention of letting baby Naruto be contaminated by the Third's spit.
"You alright, Third?"
Minato walked over and gently patted the old man's back to help him catch his breath.
"I'm fine, I'm fine. I was just caught off guard by the suggestion on the screen."
"Sending handsome guys to interrogate female spies, huh?"
Minato rested his chin on his hand, thinking it over.
The people trained to become spies usually have extremely strong mental fortitude.
Getting information out of them is difficult.
Unless you're someone like Inoichi, who can search memories directly and crudely, you're often left with torture as the only effective method.
That's why most interrogators tend to have fierce, intimidating looks—to match the brutal nature of the methods used, striking fear into the enemy to force them to talk.
But if a handsome guy were to handle the interrogation…
Just imagine it: a good-looking guy smiling as he holds a leather whip, striking the prisoner hard while softly whispering, "Sweetheart, are you ready to talk yet or not?"
What the hell… That's a bit twisted.
Minato shuddered. Maybe this was an idea that needed more serious consideration.
[Hanare told Kakashi that she had never seen her parents since birth. When she was little, she tried to return to the village, but ended up getting lost. Thankfully, she was rescued by Kakashi—after Obito had died.]
Obito: Light Screen, can you at least be polite?
[At that time, Kakashi was still in his withdrawn phase after losing his teammate. Helping a little girl on the street was already surprising, but he even left her with a cheesy inspirational quote.]
[Kakashi: "When you feel lonely, just look up at the clouds. If you hold onto hope, the clouds will surely answer you."]
[That Kakashi, even while being emotionally shut down, still tried to comfort little Hanare.]
[You can tell just by this—Kakashi totally forgot about his dead friend the moment he saw a cute little girl. He even forgot he was depressed in the first place. His main goal? Make the little girl happy.]
"What the hell is this Light Screen talking about? Are they seriously saying I was wrong to comfort someone?"
In the timeline of the Fifth Hokage, Kakashi—with double Kamui—looked a bit shaken.
He could never forget how it felt… watching Obito die right in front of him. The pain was unbearable.
That pain stayed with him for a long, long time.
Sure, he was grieving—but that didn't mean he should just ignore someone in need, right?
"Hahaha! So that's the kind of person you are, Kakashi? I, Uchiha Obito, feel ashamed to have been your friend."
Kakashi turned and looked at Obito, who was laughing so hard his face was practically falling apart.
He couldn't help but cover his own face.
"What kind of karma is this… That I spent all that time depressed over someone like him?"
The more he thought about it, the more ridiculous it felt.
Obito didn't even die. All that sorrow he held onto? Completely wasted.
And now this guy had the nerve to mock him?
No way he could let that slide.
"Obito. Look into my eyes."
"Huh? What?"
Obito wasn't guarded. He stared straight into Kakashi's eyes.
At that moment, Kakashi's Sharingan began to spin wildly.
And just like that, Obito fell right into a genjutsu.
"Heh. Enjoy your time repenting in that illusion."
Obito: Yamete~~~
****
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