{Narrator POV}
The yellow streetlight bathed the city in a soft glow as Ritsuka Fujimaru walked ahead, hands in his coat pockets, posture a little more tense than usual. The taxi ride had been quiet, but now, as they neared their apartment building, something in the night air had shifted.
Then, at the street corner
A family was stopped near a convenience store. A blonde-haired little girl, no more than ten, looked up at her parents, holding onto a stuffed toy tightly. Her innocent blue eyes, curious and bright, locked briefly onto Ritsuka's.
And in that instant
Ritsuka froze.
"...Gelda," he whispered under his breath.
The others barely heard it. But Hakuno did. She looked at him sharply.
"Ritsuka?" she asked softly.
"It's nothing," he quickly said, voice barely masking the heaviness. His head lowered. He turned away fast...too fast.
Hakuno watched him walk ahead, shoulders hunched slightly, trying to make himself smaller under the streetlights.
They reached the apartment entrance. Ritsuka opened the door with a key swipe and immediately disappeared up the stairs.
Karna stood beside Hakuno, his crimson eyes calm but deep. "Master is still hiding many things from us. He always has."
James Moriarty twirled his cane, his tone half-casual, half-knowing. "He acts like he's fine. But his eyes betray the truth. The boy is wrapped in grief, and grief is a clever actor. It pretends to be strength."
Hakuno clenched her hands.
"I thought I finally helped Ritsuka… that I was lifting his burdens. But I wasn't able to… I failed."
Her brows furrowed, a quiet anger blooming.....not toward him, but toward herself.
Karna, watching her, spoke gently.
"I don't know what you're thinking, Master Hakuno. But… Ritsuka has changed. He smiles more often when you're with him. He still carries weight—but it doesn't crush him the same way."
He paused, thoughtful. "He wasn't unhappy in Chaldea. But now… he breathes differently."
James, pushing up his glasses, added sharply, "Even so… change isn't always improvement. Not for someone like him."
He met her eyes.
"Because in this world Ritsuka Fujimaru has no purpose."
The word struck like a knife.
Hakuno flinched, wide-eyed.
"Purpose," he repeated, slower, with that clinical coldness of a detective. "Back in Chaldea, he was the Master of Humanity. The Last Master. There was always a next crisis. A next war. Now? He's just a boy in someone else's world."
Hakuno looked down.
James tilted his head. "He's adrift. And he may not even realize it."
Silence. Until....
"Thanks, guys," Hakuno said, voice low but steady. Her fists relaxed.
Then she looked up, smiling...not a soft one, but one filled with resolve.
"I'll talk to him. I'll say what needs to be said."
She turned and strode up the stairs with new purpose.
James watched her disappear into the hallway. "I hope she can say it."
Karna gave a faint smile, hands behind his back. "She will."
The two entered their rooms without another word.
----
(Ritsuka Fujimaru POV)
I rushed into the room and shut the door behind me like it was the only wall between me and the past.
Straight to the bed. I sat down hard, my body heavy, my chest… tighter than before. I gripped my shirt.
"Gelda…"
The name slipped out of my mouth like a prayer, like a curse.
She was the girl I saw on the street...a blonde little thing with wide, curious eyes. The spitting image of her. The one from Lostbelt 2.
The one who called me "Mister" with the softest smile.
The one who held my hand and trusted me.
The one I killed.
Her image, too bright and too innocent, flashed in my mind—
—followed immediately by her lifeless body in my arms.
My throat tightened. My vision blurred.
"It had to be done," they told me.
"For the future of Proper Human History," they said.
But what does any of that mean to a dead child?
My breath hitched. My hands trembled. I felt dizzy.
I couldn't breathe.
Then—
"—Mister, are you okay?"
That voice.
It echoed in my skull.
Soft. Curious. Innocent.
Gelda.
A hallucination. A memory. A phantom stitched into my soul.
I clutched my chest as if I could force the ache to stop.
Her voice wouldn't leave. It repeated. Replayed.
Mocking. Comforting.
I couldn't tell anymore.
I tried covering my ears.
I tried forcing it down.
I reached into my coat pocket and pulled out the cigarette box. The one I got from Dantes.
I lit one. No lighter needed...I burned it to life with residual magical energy, just a flicker.
I dragged it in.
Smoke in.
Sanity out.
"Just until I calm down…"
One.
Two.
Three.
I kept inhaling like the nicotine could burn away regret.
But the taste was bitter.
Everything was bitter.
"...Ah."
I let the sound slip out, too empty to stop it.
And that's when I saw her.
Hakuno.
She stood at the door. She didn't say anything at first.
Her eyes
Tears welled up in them.
I froze.
The cigarette paused between my fingers.
I couldn't even bring myself to hide it.
She walked up. Quiet footsteps.
Sat beside me.
Close.
"Ritsuka," she said gently. "Why are you still trying to endure the pain alone?"
I gave a small, fake smile. One of those smiles I've used hundreds of times. I'm good at them now.
She saw right through it.
"By the way… are you a delinquent now? My kouhai's secretly a delinquent?! Smoking behind my back? Seriously?"
Her voice tried to be playful. Her expression betrayed her.
The smile was forced. Her face was crumbling beneath it.
"Why aren't you answering…?.....hey, let me have that."
She reached forward...without asking...and took the cigarette from my hand.
"What? No...it's not good for you," I blurted, dumbly.
I dropped it and stomped it out.
But her eyes never left mine.
"Does smoking make it better?"
That question....
So simple.
Her voice trembled.
And then… the tears came. From her.
My vision blurred again.
I didn't even notice mine had been falling too.
"...Why are you crying?" Hakuno whispered.
"I'm-f-fine," I tried to say—but even I couldn't buy that lie anymore.
I covered my face with one hand. Tried to wipe the tears away.
They kept falling.
And my heart… it wasn't listening to my brain anymore.
I didn't want her to see me like this.
Not her. Not anyone.
I'm supposed to be the Last Master of Chaldea. The one who saved humanity. Who faced gods. Alien Gods. Demon Pillars. Beasts. Timelines.
But no one ever told me what to do after I won.
No one told me how to live when there was nothing left to fight.
After all I did everything to get my life back. But I know I could never live normal life.
All the children I killed. All the people I left behind in Lostbelts.
All the blood. All the choices.
I'm not a hero.
I'm just… alive.
That's it.
And some days, even that feels wrong.
Hakuno was crying.
Her tears spilled down her cheeks like something sacred....and fragile....breaking in real time. And me?
I sat there. Frozen. A hollow statue of what used to be a person.
"What... what should I do now?" she whispered.
Her voice trembled. Her hands balled into fists, clenching the fabric of her skirt.
"I thought I could save you from pain... But I failed again. I know what you're doing....hurting yourself, healing it with magecraft, pretending you're okay. And now you're smoking…"
She bit her lip, and lowered her head like she was ashamed of not being able to do more.
"I don't know what I should do now..."
Her forehead gently rested against my chest. I didn't move. I didn't breathe.
All I could do was watch as the strongest person I knew...my senpai....fell apart in front of me.
"Huaaang…"
Her arms wrapped around me, and her whole body shook.
She clung to me like I was something precious to her.
Each sob she made tore into me like blades. I could feel her grief sink into my skin, into my soul.
"What... what do I do about Ritsuka?" she cried again.
I felt her voice quiver through her body. She was breaking.
Breaking because of me.
"Ritsuka... Ritsuka... Ritsuka…"
The way she called my name wasn't like anyone else.
She said it like I mattered.
Like I was still human.
Her body trembled as she wept, her voice a raw, helpless whisper in my arms.
"Poor Ritsuka... what am I supposed to do... uaang…"
She was in agony.
And yet...so was I.
So much that I wanted to run. Disappear. Tear out my own memories just to stop the torment of her tears soaking into my chest.
But instead…
My arms moved.
I held her tighter.
Not because I deserved to.
But because I couldn't stop myself.
"I don't deserve this," I thought.
"I don't deserve her warmth, her care..."
But even knowing that, I clung to her like I would shatter without it.
Hakuno pressed her forehead deeper into me, burying herself in the broken spaces of my soul.
"Huaaang—"
Her sobs grew louder. My shoulder was drenched now.
And then my own tears spilled...silent, but relentless.
The cold air drifted in through the slightly opened window, carrying the sharp sting of cigarette smoke and winter frost. It didn't matter.
Our bodies slowly leaned back, falling into the bed still wrapped around each other like broken dolls.
Hakuno trembled in my arms. Her breathing ragged.
And I…
…I finally spoke.
My voice cracked from the weight of everything I never said.
"I'm sorry for hiding."
She didn't respond. She just held me tighter.
"I killed them all. It's all my sin."
I clenched her small frame like it was the only thing anchoring me to Earth.
"No one deserved to die like that. I know that. And it's not like I'm saying I had no choice....no, I always had a choice."
"And I made the worst ones."
Every Lostbelt.
Every sacrifice.
Every innocent smile I snuffed out for a 'future.'
"Whether it was by my command seals, by my Servants, by Chaldea's machines or strategies .... It was me. My choice. My hand. My will."
"My choice to survive… took seven worlds."
The weight of it collapsed inside my chest.
"It's all my sins."
I couldn't stop the tears now. My voice shook, ragged and raw.
"Sometimes I think all the pain I've endured isn't even close to what they went through. The people who trusted me, the ones I had to destroy..."
"And that maybe... maybe I wasn't saving humanity. Maybe I was just prolonging my own existence. One sin at a time."
Hakuno didn't say anything right away. But she didn't let go either.
She held me like she'd never let go.
I felt her hand move to the back of my head. Gently, she pulled it down until my forehead rested against her chest.
The heartbeat I heard there wasn't loud.
It was gentle.
And steady.
A rhythm of life. A reminder that I was still here.
"Just rest on me," she whispered.
Her voice still shook. But it was the most grounding thing I'd heard in ages.
I didn't deserve her warmth.
I didn't deserve her forgiveness. Her presence. Her tears.
But in that moment, she gave them to me anyway.
And in that small, fragile space between her heart and mine...
for just a moment...
I felt human again.
But
"You should let me suffer," I whispered, voice cracked, soaked in tears.
The words tasted bitter...like burnt ash and regret. I didn't even know if I meant them… or if I just couldn't carry the weight anymore.
Hakuno's hand stilled mid-stroke across my hair.
Then...
"Stop the shit now, or I'll beat you and hug you to death."
Her voice was firm. A warning. No hesitation, no room for negotiation.
"I know it feels like the worst thing in the world sometimes," she added, gentler now. "But you don't get to rot away on me. Not tonight."
"...It's lonely," I said, barely above a breath.
"You've been used to loneliness for a long time," she replied. "But you're not alone right now."
"I can feel the darkness… when I'm alone," I said again, voice trembling. "It's always there."
"I know it," she whispered. No denial. No easy platitudes.
I swallowed hard. My throat burned with unshed tears.
"When you told me I had the right to be selfish," I said, "and that I could love someone... I was happy."
"But then all the bad feelings came back. Crashing down."
"Like a voice whispering that it's all useless. That I'm not worth being loved. That I'll only bring pain to whoever tries."
Hakuno didn't speak. She just kept holding me, quietly, like I was something too precious to break again.
"It's pathetic, isn't it?" I whispered. "Someone like me… just a normal guy who tried to protect people. And in doing so... I made choices so cruel that I don't even have the right to beg for forgiveness."
"I wasn't even given the choice to beg for forgiveness. Fate didn't care."
"I'm sorry," I said. Then again, "I'm sorry."
And again. "I'm sorry…"
It spilled out of me like a dam breaking. The shame. The guilt. The names of the dead etched into my bones.
"I don't have any purpose in this world. I can feel them...those people I killed. They're always standing behind me. Watching."
"Asking me... 'What was the point of my death?' 'What do you live for now, Ritsuka Fujimaru?'"
I gripped her tighter.
"That's why I tried to stop Hydra. To give myself some kind of purpose, even if it was selfish."
I paused, and finally admitted—
"But it's so hard, Hakuno…"
So damn hard.
I never wanted to be a killer. Not of dreams, not of people, not of worlds.
I never wanted to be the man with blood on his hands and empty words for the fallen.
"I understand," she finally said. Her voice didn't waver. "We never really overcome the darkness. It's impossible."
"But we can move forward. And you're already doing that, Ritsuka."
"Just—if you ever feel yourself slipping into that darkness again… promise me you'll come to me."
She pulled back just enough to look into my eyes.
"No, scratch that," she said firmly. "I will come to you. No matter what. You won't be alone."
My throat tightened. I couldn't speak.
I just nodded. Head against her chest. Letting her heartbeat steady the storm inside me.
Her hand came up and gently patted my head, lovingly. Her warmth soaked through the cracks.
"You'll find your purpose in this world, Ritsuka," she said. "I know you will. You'll find your answer."
"Don't fall back. You've come too far. And I'll be right here, always."
She meant every word.
And in that moment… I was bare before her. Not just my body—but my soul, spirit, thoughts, pain, fears, hopes, dreams.
That's what it means to be naked. To be vulnerable.
To be loved.
In silence, we held each other.
Two people wounded beyond repair, but still trying to make something of the broken pieces.
And finally physically and mentally exhausted we closed our eyes and fell asleep in each other's arms.
They deserved this rest.
---
Note: How is the chapter? Fuck i feel so shit and tired. Damn. It's sad and unfair Ritsuka feeling this all.
I don't have energy to talk more after this emotional chapter And I have exams to prepare. So I say what I want to say.
I have important note.
The theme of this story is about mental health awareness. It contains depression, loneliness, self worth, this will be most human fanfiction.
This story have dark movements, mental breakdown, sad,
Overall trying to find purpose is main theme.
Yes, soon Optimus prime, Bumblebee, Batman, Naruto, Sasuke etc will appear in future arcs. And they all will go through same shit, depression, pain, and some of them will be broken.
But they will try to overcome it and find purpose.
Basically a story of bunch of depressed idiots find new purpose and overcome the problems.
I love the quote about superhero according to Stan Lee's principals: A normal person with extraordinary powers and in extraordinary circumstances struggling to do the right thing in their everyday lives at great personal cost.
Damn, Ritsuka and Hakuno had best chemistry.
See you on Sunday. Bye,