No one is perfect. Everyone has their own weaknesses. And haters... they'll do everything they can to find and expose those flaws.
As for mine?
I'm too quick to trust. Too easily drawn to people.
I made that mistake myself—and no matter how many times it happened, I couldn't stop it.
That's why I stopped trusting anyone. After what happened back in middle school… I made that decision myself.
And with that choice, I think I lost something else too.
My emotions.
Somewhere along the way, I stopped feeling. Or maybe… I just forgot how.
Smile? Sadness? Anger? I don't even know what any of that means anymore.
It still hurts, though. When certain words cut deeper than they should, when silence feels louder than noise. But I never know how to react. Maybe I'm just tired.
It's strange, but I only feel strong when I'm alone.
At school, I always feel the pressure—the way people stare at me like I'm something they can't figure out. Like I don't belong.
The problems don't stop chasing me. And deep down, I know… they're going to catch up eventually.
Now, I'm just a quiet person who fears speaking. I've gotten used to it. The silence. The loneliness.
Conversations don't go far when your words are short.And honestly… maybe I just don't feel like talking anymore.
Time moved on. Days blurred into weeks, weeks into months. And then it happened—middle school graduation.
Everyone had someone—friends, partners, parents.Me?
I was alone.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone watching me.
Aikawa Mina. She stood at a distance, watching me quietly. I noticed. I really did. But I couldn't bring myself to care anymore.
She tried to come closer. But someone blocked her path. And by the time she could move again…
I was already gone.
The final year of middle school was a disaster. Just like elementary. I don't even know what's going on with my life anymore.
I kept my circle small… and it keeps shrinking. Every single day.
It always gets worse before it ever gets better.
Sometimes, I look in the mirror and hate the person staring back.
And before I say or do something I can't take back, I isolate. That's safer.
But before high school starts in April, I decided to make a change.
A small one.
I got into fashion. Started taking care of myself. Changed how I looked.
I took my entrance exam for one of the top high schools in Tokyo back in February. Got my results in March.
I passed.
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Something I could finally be proud of.
Just this once.
Just this once…
But that doesn't mean I'm perfect. I'm not a perfectionist. I'm not chasing some ideal version of myself.
I've learned to accept who I am.
Even when my own thoughts are the ones that hurt the most.
And I won't waste emotions on people who don't value them.
It's not that I'm afraid of commitment. I'm afraid of giving everything to someone… and being left with nothing.
People like me, we used to trust too much.Now we trust no one.
I wish I could tell someone what I'm really going through. But I can't.
I scroll through old photos sometimes… and there's this pain in my chest I can't explain.
And now…
Now I'm just a person with a heart that's forgotten how to glow.