I was more than willing to grant him this glorious death, he deserved it in my opinion.
'Oh shit I ACTUALLY have a bounty!?' I thought in shock as I saw on the wall of the control room bounty posters for each of my friends and I.
My bounty poster was hilarious as the crimes it had me listed for were murder, theft, corporate theft, witchcraft, blasphemy, cannibalism, possession of controlled technologies, unlicensed firearm production, profanity and lollygagging.
"They forgot slander heh." I said with a laugh "Still I'm amazed Bricks bounty is almost as high as mine, nine million nine hundred ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine dollars, and ninety nine cents. My bounty is at least an even ten million, who even uses cents for a fucking bounty?" I muttered with a shake of my head as I turned off the barrier and then smashed the controls to keep it off.
That done I casually hopped down from this upper level I was on to the road and walked back to the monster I had parked. Getting in the drivers seat I pressed the gas and the engine roared as the vehicle lurched forward. The lance had placed dividing walls in alternating lanes of the highway forcing me to slow down to go around them annoyingly. -
Driving across the burning concrete for a good thirty minutes I reached an area that had a signboard that read "Moxxi's red light 2KM". Soon enough I saw it and groaned in frustration. The place in question was not only surrounded by obvious bandit dwellings but also was built up on a section of broken highway that the path to had collapsed. Thankfully there was a curved bit of highway on the ground ramping up to it but UN-fortunately it was right smack dab in the middle of the bandits.-
I chose to just ditch the monster entirely before running across the air of the collapsed highway to the part that held the place which I was fairly certain was a bar. The bandits camped outside the bar noticed me and then proceeded to die violently as I took care of them. Before I could ring the doorbell however an Atlas drop pod crashed into the concrete and six more assassins digistructed before coming at me.-
"Slow!"
"Sloppy!"
"Sad!"
I taunted the assassins as I effortlessly avoided their attacks and even playfully slapped their asses in the process.
"Just die already!" the leader of this group screamed as she sent several lightning fast sword slashes at me.
"No." I answered as I reached out and grabbed the blades mid swing and snapped them in half. "Should have used better materials." I said with a click of my tongue before spartan kicking her in the chest collapsing her ribcage.
The rest of the group of assassins followed their leader to the grave shortly after that.
I rang the doorbell and a woman spoke over the intercom "Mr. Shank is that you? I already told you your moneys no good... oh! It's you. You won't need your money here. Tiger growl!" the woman said seductively making me frown.
'I feel like Scooter might have forgot to mention I'm only fourteen. That or his mom is a freak, hard to say yet.' I thought with a sigh as the door unlocked and I opened it and walked in.
The inside of the bar was covered in dead bandits but otherwise colorful and exotic feeling. In the center stood a brunette woman in a burgundy corset and tailcoat skirt with striped stockings and matching mini top hat. Her face had an unreasonable amount of make up on as she swayed walking to the back of the bar.
"A kidnapping is never clean business. Mr. shank came and took your friend Athena for a ride. Names Moxxi by the way, charmed to meet you." the woman said with a seductive lilt in her voice.
"Right I'm Alex. So i'm assuming Scooter may have neglected mentioning that i'm actually only fourteen. I mean I totally get it, not something that comes up in casual conversation but kinda awkward to say now." I said bluntly.
Moxxi visibly shuddered with a disgusted look on her face at this revelation.
"Why do you look like ... well THAT if you are only fourteen?" she asked once her stomach settled.
I raised my right sleeve to show my tattoos "i'm a siren and my body is like this because of my powers. I can take the traits and lifeforce from stuff and add it to myself or others. A sort of hyperaccelerated evolution process that is completely guided basically. To put it bluntly my current evolutionary stage is much more advanced than a basic humans and this is what a fourteen year old of that species of human would look like more or less." I explained honestly.
"That's hard to swallow and believe me I know hard to swallow." she said before looking slightly ill. "Just using innuendos feels wrong now." she said with a grimace.
"I eat people with my powers, I have no room to judge anyone else." I say with a shrug.
"That's.... oddly comforting." she said with a conflicted tone.
"I get that a lot." I said with a chuckle.
"So my son whom I need to have a talk with about unexpected surprises mentioned that there was five of you." she said with a raised eyebrow questioningly.
"The others split off temporarily to handle some other jobs that popped up. Should take them a short bit to get here if it's nothing major. In the meantime mind if I eat those?" I asked pointing at the fresh bandit corpses.
"Go nuts." she said with an intrigued expression.
I held up my right hand and my tattoos glows as the lifeforce was pulled out of the corpses rendering them dust before the red energy flowed into me.
I smacked my lips "They were angry when they died, a bit salty." I said with a chuckle.
"Can you actually taste them?" she asked with a slightly disgusted wrinkle of her nose.
"Technically no but it's a kind of sensation, like an echo of emotion from when they died. Fear is sweet like honey, anger is salty, peace tastes like butter and sadness sour like green apples. Haven't had any other flavors yet so can't say for sure if theres others." I said with a shrug.
"That's disturbing." she said honestly.
"Oh you think that's bad? How about how I constantly feel like I'm starving and have to suppress the desire to murder anything and everything to gorge on lifeforce?" I asked with a grin as she backed up slightly. "You can relax I have it well under control. Little more than a nuisance at this point, like a fly buzzing around your ear you can't swat away." I said with a chuckle.
https://www.pa treon.com/user?u=81578854#:~:text=pa treon.com/pa treon_loskro
_______________________________________________
Alexander Drake
Lifeforce: 931,981
Integrated Traits: [Clever mind-Rare grade],[Enhanced senses-Epic grade]X2, [Supreme armored hide-Epic grade]X2, [Energy projection-Legendary grade], [Superior vitality-Epic grade]X3,[Lesser dragon breath-Epic grade],[Regeneration-Epic grade]X2, [Disease resistance-Epic grade],[Amphibious lungs-Uncommon grade], [Thermal sensing-Uncommon grade], [Water resistance-Common grade],[Active camouflage-Epic grade], [Eridian engineering expertise-Mythical grade], [Efficient lungs-Rare grade]x2, [Biometallic bones-Epic grade], [Quick thinking-Rare grade], [Minor spatial awareness-Epic grade], [Siren(Phaselock)(Altered)-Mythical grade], [Adrenal rush-Rare grade], [Mechanical engineering expertise-Rare grade]X3, [Gunsmithing expertise(degrading)-Common grade]X3, [Mechanical Savant-Epic grade], [Embodiment of destruction(partial)-Mythical grade], [Siren(Phasetrance)-Mythical grade], [Supreme body-Legendary grade]X3, [Martial savant-Legendary grade], [Tinkering instinct-Rare grade]
Stored traits: [Agelessness-Legendary grade], [Beautiful form-Rare grade]X3