Her eyes drift to the crackling fire behind them, but her gaze seems farther away as silence grows between them. After a few moments, she speaks, her voice thoughtful.
"Why the memory about running into Tegan at the Royal Announcement?" (Alto)
Mizuki raises his eyebrows, and intuiting the reason for it, she continues.
"Everything else kind of fits with the loneliness and abandonment theme. The cold treatment by my parents, my betrayal by Maya, the loss of Belle in childhood, those years spent searching for happiness, and my loss on the outreach trip. The memories with Mizuki were presumably me reinforcing him as someone important that I could lose like I lost Belle. But that final memory with Tegan...why did my mind go to that?" (Alto)
She feels Mizuki shrug, his arms wrapping around her more tightly as contentment washes over her from the sensation.
"Perhaps it was his comments about your parents being there? A crystallization of your fears that they may be lurking just outside your perception, ready to interfere in your current life again." (Mizuki)
Her lips purse, considering the idea.
"Maybe...but their mention felt pretty minor. The vast majority of the memory played out after that happened." (Alto)
Mizuki hums thoughtfully.
"Then...whatever Tegan was implying at the end? When he called you oblivious." (Mizuki)
She sighs.
"I am fairly certain he was making a joke about me being 'oblivious' to his allegedly charming personality...I was just confused by his expression. I see no other reasonable implication he could have been making." (Alto)
He raises his eyebrows.
"Given the prior context of your talk, it's possible he was implying that you're in love with Mizuki. It'd be far from the first time someone has done so." (Mizuki)
She shrugs.
"Perhaps. But even if he was, that wouldn't explain why my subconscious conjured that memory. I know my love for Mizuki is platonic, which means I had no reason to fixate on such an implication." (Alto)
Mizuki is silent for a moment.
"Are you sure? That the way you love him isn't at all romantic, I mean." (Mizuki)
She lifts her head, giving him a dubious look.
"Of course. I have never felt the need for physical intimacy with him the way Ilina and Nina do." (Alto)
He tilts his head.
"Haven't you? Isn't that the entire reason I'm still in this form? This is a type of physical intimacy, after all." (Mizuki)
She furrows her brows, then shakes her head.
"It's different. Laying on him like this, even bathing together...those are things I did with Belle as well. I've never felt compelled to kiss him, or pursue more sexual forms of intimacy, like Ilina." (Alto)
She feels a twinge of that same unpleasant feeling with her mention of Ilina and sex, which doesn't go unnoticed by her counterpart. Mizuki narrows his eyes suspiciously.
"True, but...there are differences, too. We both know that you consider him attractive, and you've openly admitted that you would be comfortable exploring that level of intimacy with him if he pushed for it. That's never been the case for anyone else in your life, even Belle." (Mizuki)
She remains silent, and Mizuki continues.
"Furthermore, Ilina was right about your inexperience in this regard...it's possible ignorance is the reason for your apparent apathy. Maybe that is also why it's hard for you to identify that unpleasant feeling you keep having. Maybe it could be that you were intrigued, jealous...sexually frustrated?" (Mizuki)
Her gaze snaps to him, annoyed.
"It was not arousal." (Alto)
He cuts his eyes at her.
"You're irritated at your own theories...interesting." (Mizuki)
She clenches her jaw.
"It is not interesting...the theory has no merit. I was just being thorough with my conjecture." (Alto)
His eyebrows raise.
"If it has no merit, why was it the only theory that evoked an emotional response?" (Mizuki)
She shifts slightly in his lap.
"The theory's unique degree of absurdity was just that disagreeable." (Alto)
Mizuki hums thoughtfully.
"Well...no need for us to debate the theory's merits when you could just test it." (Mizuki)
She stiffens, shooting him a reproachful look.
"Out of the question. I am not alienating Ilina, and potentially harming my relationship with Mizuki in the process, just to test a theory that's likely false." (Alto)
Unabashed, he glances around the room, gesturing with his hands meaningfully.
"Fortunately, you find yourself with the perfect testing conditions to avoid all of those risks." (Mizuki)
Realizing his meaning, her eyes widen, pushing away from him slightly. She's silent for several moments, their gazes locked as if in unspoken debate.
"That proposal is...uncomfortable in a way that I find hard to characterize." (Alto)
He just stares back at her in silence, his demeanor patient yet curious. They remain that way until her own expression turns conflicted, and the silence stretches even further, neither of them so much as blinking.
*****
Back in Alto's temporary research room, while she sleeps...
With a heavy sigh, Ilina throws herself into the only comfortable chair in the room, her eyes weary as they scan a large parchment covered in systematic lines and dots.
'Thank gods I'm finally done...it's baffling that she actually enjoys doing this.'
Her eyes drift to the implicated elven woman sleeping peacefully on the nearby couch, long, platinum-blonde hair spilling carelessly around Alto's petite frame. Her thoughts wander back to their earlier conversation, and a small, exasperated smile tugs at her lips.
'I might have overestimated her ability to read people, if she truly thought I wasn't bothered by her relationship with Mizuki at all.'
After all, how could she not feel at least a little jealous? Alto's intellect that she feels could rival her own, her immense talent for magic and Mizuki's 'science', the way they get along, research together, trust and vehemently protect one another – it makes her feel like she's...losing, somehow. More than anything, though, there's one fact that stings every time she thinks about it, even if she's never said it out loud...
Alto's nigh-immortality.
On one hand, she can understand logically why Mizuki requested it on Alto's behalf instead of her own. Alto was already three times older, and would have aged about twenty times faster than her on top of that. Plus, Azazel was more likely to grant the request for Alto than herself, given Alto's affinity for research and lesser obligation to the Elven Kingdom.
On the other hand, that doesn't make the reality of Mizuki's choice any less hurtful. Ten thousand years is a long time, but to her, it's still finite. Of their tight-knit group of four, she's the only one whose life has an expiration date...one Mizuki knowingly accepted. She doesn't blame him...she knows her natural lifespan probably seemed endless to Mizuki at the time, that he might even have assumed he could one day arrange a similar blessing for her. He made the logical choice, the right choice.
But reasoning is a poor medicine for the heart.
She lets out a deep sigh, realizing that she's let her thoughts wander somewhere useless again, and tries to force her attention to other matters. More important matters. Namely, she's concerned about the ticking time bomb that is Cerilia, the Elder Dragon of Ice. She may have been boldly antagonistic the other night, enraged with jealousy, frustrated by interrupted intimacy, and emboldened by Mizuki's presence, but now that she's calmed down, she can't deny there is a serious threat at large.
Putting aside the fact that she knows an obsessed woman when she sees one, and Ciri was clearly obsessed with Mizuki, another shameless woman chasing her fiancé is not her greatest concern. Rather, what if Ciri decides to come here, causing trouble for her or the elves when he isn't around? She can't contact Mizuki telepathically…she can only send an MMC message and hope that him or Nina are at the mansion.
Mizuki is supposed to be periodically sweeping the continent with his magical senses in case Ciri pops up again, but he can't do that every minute of every day. Based on what they learned from Nina the morning after Ciri came – after she gave her fellow wife a thoroughly aggrieved earful, of course – the notorious ice queen is absurdly fast, and probably much stronger than even Nina. If she truly showed up in Avalon with hostile intentions, even just a minute delay in contacting Mizuki could doom the city, the royal family, and almost ten percent of their race. That said, Mizuki was explicit with Ciri that any transgression towards those associated with him would result in her swift execution, so Ilina doesn't think the worst case is likely to pass.
However, Ciri doesn't have to be violent to be a problem. Just showing up and wandering around the city in curiosity could very well start a panic. Furthermore, what if she starts running her mouth to the wrong people, asking questions? Mizuki's abilities, his marriage to Nina, Ilina's recent relations with him…none of those are suitable for public knowledge yet. And naturally, Ciri isn't her only problem.
She's got the situation with the Empire to be wary of, and her own mother's bloodthirsty fixation on getting her wedding planned, though Mizuki has lightened the burden of the latter significantly now. On top of all that, she's wanted to learn more of Mizuki's science-based magic, so that she's not also the weakest of his 'trio' in addition to being the youngest and shortest-lived. Unfortunately, she hasn't started the process yet because…well, one, she just hasn't had the time for it, but also, it would require either Mizuki's or Alto's teaching. The former she considers a waste of precious relationship time, and the latter would bruise her pride more than she cares to admit.
She lets out an annoyed groan.
'I wonder if it's too late to just elope with Mizuki and settle down somewhere quiet in Alara's territory…'
Though she'd never seriously act on the impulse, she can't deny that it gets more appealing with every day and every new nuisance. Truthfully, since she found out that her item box affinity is fundamentally related to so-called 'spacetime' manipulation, she's had more than one passing fantasy about traveling back in time and…fixing, some of her problems. The reminder of it brings a smile to her face, even now.
'Knowing what I know now, I would start from our first meeting that night. No agonizing over my feelings, no sending him to Nina, no hiding, no scheming to get me on the throne. We could just save Alto and the other slaves anonymously, quietly take care of Veyron, then give my mother a firm but polite notice before fucking off somewhere pleasant and secluded. Then, I could-'
"Mmmf…ngh…"
Her thoughts are interrupted by a tired moan, and her gaze immediately snaps towards the previously sleeping Alto, now stirring on the couch. She freezes, immediately ashamed of the admittedly possessive reality she was just orchestrating in her head.
Alto blinks, her eyes slowly focusing on Ilina, and her expression becomes puzzled.
"Oh, Ilina…are you okay? You seem pale." (Alto)
Feeling flustered and inexplicably anxious about her prior thoughts being discovered, she stiffens at Alto's words, immediately trying to deflect.
"Wh-What? No, I'm fine. What about you, are you feeling okay? You look flushed." (Ilina)
Of course, that's not entirely true. Alto's face does seem a bit rosy, but nothing drastic…she just doesn't want the focus on herself. However, her words have an unexpected impact – Alto freezes, falling eerily silent, and she shifts on the couch slightly, averting her gaze. She even wonders if the rosiness in Alto's cheeks intensifies slightly.
"I am sure you are imagining it…I am fine. I have no reason to be flushed." (Alto)
She raises her eyebrows.
"Uhm…right…" (Ilina)
Alto rises from the couch, strangely hurried, and walks towards the room's cluttered table purposefully.
"I take it that you finished the correlation plots?" (Alto)
Alto picks up one of the parchments, her eyes scanning it dutifully. Ilina nods, secretly relieved to change the topic.
"Yes, both of them. All that's left is Mizuki's correlation math…that's all on you, though." (Ilina)
Alto nods absentmindedly, and immediately takes a seat at the table, still not meeting Ilina's gaze. She begins scribbling on a separate, calculation-covered parchment furiously. Ilina watches her in silence for a moment, then pours herself another cup of tea and settles into her chair.
'No need to go back to wedding planning just yet…'
Not even half an hour later, the sound of Alto's furious writing suddenly stops, plunging the room into silence. Ilina is pulled from her reverie, glancing over to find Alto's brow furrowed in confusion. She raises her eyebrows at the sight.
"Something wrong?" (Ilina)
Alto frowns, not bothering to look at her, and moves to the correlation plot parchments on the table, responding absentmindedly.
"Perhaps…I wonder…maybe…" (Alto)
She trails off, leaving Ilina more curious by the second. Alto glances between her calculation parchment and the plot parchments a few times, deep in thought, then grabs a straight edge and a quill from nearby. Without a word, she begins drawing a heavy line on each plot, then steps back to inspect them. Unable to contain her curiosity anymore, Ilina rises from her chair and walks over, staring at the plots in confusion.
"What is it?" (Ilina)
For a moment, Alto is silent, merely staring at the plots with a thoughtful expression. Then…
"These don't look right." (Alto)
She gives Alto an incredulous look.
"Then…isn't that bad, some kind of mistake on your part? Why are you smiling?" (Ilina)
Indeed, Alto's mouth is twisted into what just might be the largest, most elated grin she's ever seen grace the strange, stoic beauty's face, her eyes admiring the two plots with undisguised fervor. Ilina actually finds it a little unsettling, given Alto's normal demeanor.
Alto turns to face her, releasing a small giggle so out of place that she nearly chokes on air at the eerie sound.
"Hehehe…because I don't think I made a mistake – the trend lines for my independently calculated correlation statistics visually fit the plots' data." (Alto)
She blinks.
"Uhm…meaning?" (Ilina)
Alto's eyes practically shine in response.
"That means the reason it looks different is probably…that Mizuki was wrong. If he was wrong, he's going to obsess over it until he knows why, and that means I'll get to do more research. More experiments!" (Alto)
Her eyes widen slightly, admittedly surprised. Without a more detailed explanation, she's not exactly sure of the significance of the specific results in front of her. However, the goal of the research itself was important enough to attract her mother's interest, and she remembers Mizuki seeming pretty sure of what it would show them. When it comes to magic, she's never seen him make an error in judgement. So, if Alto's right, and he really was wrong about something this important…
'I bet that his reaction will be interesting.'
She lets out a regretful sigh at the thought, barely restraining herself from pouting.
'If only I didn't have to stay here late today…'