[This is the daily news, the shocking alien invasion has ended. Our brave soldiers and alien friends—accurately called Autobots—have repelled the Decepticons in Egypt.]
[What? You say you can't distinguish between Autobots, Decepticons, and Transformers? Why are aliens fighting on our land?]
[Well, according to the latest revelations from Doctor Doom and some insiders, we can understand the Decepticons and Autobots as two factions, like the Democrat Party and Republican Party...]
[Though this analogy isn't quite accurate, if anything, the Decepticons are more like the defeated faction from World War II.]
[The battle is over. Representatives from various countries have confirmed the end of combat in Egypt. The United Nations will hold a world hearing next week, where Doctor Doom's assistant will disclose more information at the meeting.]
