The following morning found Sakura queuing outside the Curry of Life shop, a few houses down from Teuchi's ramen place, to pick up a dozen of Granny Sanshō's famous military curry pills. Short of wolfing down calorie bombs such as syrup-drenched dango, she'd found the old woman's curry to be the most reliable source of essential nutrients, and the one that did the most to restore her deflated breasts.
"Good morning, Sakura-chan," said the wrinkled old prune, a kind smile playing on her face as she handed over Sakura's order. "It's certainly been a while, hasn't it? Off on some grand adventure again, I expect?"
Two and a half years ago, Sanshō and her human waste of a son, Karashi, had been forced to leave their home in the neighbouring Land of Rivers and resettle in Konoha. Karashi's mistreatment of the Katabami villagers during his brief stint with the Kurosuki crime family had left them both personae non gratae, so they would most likely have woken up one day to find out that their throats had been slit in their sleep if they'd stayed.
"It's not that grand," said Sakura, waving a hand. "Just an errand to Takumi Village."
The old woman's eyes lit up. Takumi Village was in the Land of Rivers, her homeland!
"Would you mind doing this old woman a favour?" she said, turning away to ladle some crimson curry into a takeaway carton before placing the box on the counter. "I used to play mahjong with a few of those old geezers from the village of craftsmen, so I'd be ever so grateful if you could pass on my greetings. I'll make it worth your time, of course…"
"No need for payment, I was heading there anyway," said Sakura magnanimously. "Who did you say your friends were, again?"
Sakura's mouth watered uncontrollably as Granny Sanshō pushed another white paper bag across the counter, bulging with round pills. It was a shame taking more than one every three days would produce no additional benefits beyond the first, because they were delicious— way better than those standard-issue medicinal ration pills, which tasted like mud.
Bleh.
"Well, if you put it like that," Sakura said, swallowing hard. "How could I refuse?"
They say variety is the spice of life, but Sakura was of the opinion that spice is the spice of life.
Sakura sealed up the fresh curry in a scroll, bade Granny Sanshō goodbye and stepped out of the curry shop— only to find Shikamaru waiting for her outside, leaning against a utility pole.
"Yo, Sakura," he said. "Thought I might find you here."
Sakura let out a noncommittal grunt. She was currently disguised as her normal O-cup self, so he hadn't recognised her from the previous day.
"Lady Tsunade wanted me to pass on a message before you left," he went on, unbothered. "Shizune's waiting for you at the west gate— you'll be leaving with her. Once you're done with your errand in Takumi Village, you're to rendezvous with Team 8, led by Kurenai, and lend them a hand with their mission. It's kind of a drag, so I'll let Shizune explain the details en route."
Sakura grimaced.
So much for going on vacation. Did Lady Tsunade not trust her to restrain herself from going on a breast hunt? How was she supposed to go off on her own and place a bounty on a Swift Style kunoichi on the black market with a chaperone!?
"Ah, and by the way," Shikamaru blurted out. "Er… would you like to go on a da—"
But it was too late— Sakura had already flickered away.
…
Just as Shikamaru had said, Shizune waited by the great green double gates, with the hiragana 'a' on one door and 'n' on the other, both in red paint. It was true what they said— I open at the close, indeed.
"It's rare to see you out in the field, senior sister," said Sakura as she landed beside Shizune. "What's the occasion? Are we poisoning some Land of Rivers noble whose politics don't align with Konoha's? Or performing an emergency abortion on a runaway mistress?"
Shizune, a self-styled poison expert and Jōnin, almost seemed like one of Lady Tsunade's accessories, since she was rarely more than a metre from her at any given time. So, to Sakura, it felt oddly jarring to see her without a piglet in her arms, and without Tsunade standing in front of her. It was like Shizune was missing a core part of herself, like Shinpachi without his glasses!
All jokes aside, Shizune did sometimes leave her and Tsunade's lesbian love nest.
She led her own team, the Hokage's elite guard: made up of Scarface Namiashi Raidō (Tokubetsu Jōnin), Toothpick-Toting Shiranui Genma (also Tokubetsu Jōnin), and Goatee Tatami Iwashi (Chūnin… lol).
"Well, poisoning's not off the table," replied Shizune. "According to our scouts' reports, Orochimaru split off from a few of his subordinates in the Land of Rivers before looping through the Land of Wind to get to the Land of Earth. So, our mission is simply to provide support for Team 8 while they track the enemy to their hideout."
"That's quite the luxurious lineup," said Sakura worriedly. "Is that really safe?"
Sakura was happy that Tsunade was taking the threat of Orochimaru very seriously, but even so, a certain number of Jōnin had to remain in the village at any given time for its protection.
In total, the Hokage had sent three Jōnin and two Chūnin— fellow Legendary Sannin Jiraiya, Guy, Tenten, Lee, and Karin— after Team Orochimaru, and another three Jōnin, three Chūnin, and one dog— Kurenai, Shizune, Sakura, Hinata, Shino, Kiba, and Akamaru— after his subordinates.
That didn't leave many elites to protect Naruto and Gaara in case the Akatsuki or Pain himself decided to drop by in advance. The two Jinchūriki could handle themselves, but still…
"Sakura."
Upon hearing her name called, Sakura turned with Shizune to see Sasuke approaching, a scroll in his left hand and a backpack slung carelessly over one shoulder.
"You're still here, Sasuke-kun?" said Sakura shyly. "I thought you'd have left as soon as the sun came up over the horizon."
Standing before him transformed like this made her feel oddly self-conscious— almost as if she were a little girl caught trying on her mother's bra. Inadequate was the word she was looking for!
"It took me a while to wake up the Hokage when I went to fetch my map," Sasuke grumbled. "She reeked of cheap booze."
"Mind if I take a look?"
Sakura circled behind Sasuke, rising onto her toes to peer over his shoulder as he unfolded the map and started explaining his itinerary.
"Uh-huh, uh-huh," said Sakura distractedly. "That's, like, sooo interesting, Sasuke-kun. Tell me more."
Unlike Naruto, who seemed to carry around him a constant cloud of garlic, soy sauce, and miso— the lingering fumes of countless bowls of ramen having more or less impregnated his clothes— Sasuke had his earthy, pine-needled musk about him, faintly tinged with the sweat of morning training, and it sent Sakura's stomach into backflips.
They say all's fair in love and war, but Sakura didn't consider chemical warfare to be very fair play!
"Sakura…" Shizune coughed.
"Right!" Sakura spluttered, leaning over to tap a finger on the map of the Land of Fire. "Er… you'll probably have the best luck finding Ryūchi Cave somewhere around here— where it says 'village full of spooky mutants'. Nature energy can warp human bodies if the concentration's high enough, so there's probably a hidden Sage Region nearby… just hopefully not Shikkotsu Forest or Mt Myōboku."
"I see," said Sasuke, making a note on his map. "Thanks, Sakura."
"No problem!" said Sakura, masking her embarrassment by speaking quickly. "Goodbye, Sasuke-kun! Gotta get to Takumi Village! See ya later!"
And with that, Sakura took off at a sprint, Shizune hot on her heels.