"My aunt lived this life; I have lived this life. Being in the military or Red Cross is not an easy matter. You are in constant motion, constant danger, and constant displacement. Today one country, tomorrow another country. Whichever place needs you, you have to go," Jasmine said and took a deep breath. She calmed herself for a bit and continued. This conversation was important for her. She needed Jaya to back down now or become serious about her relationship with Siddharth, as much as he is serious with her.
Siddharth was planning to propose to her at the semester's end.
"Today you might say, 'I believe in our love and trust. We will pass through the patch.' But let me tell you, you won't be going with him. You will be here or somewhere safe. You will hardly hear anything from him. You won't even know when something would happen to him and meet him in an extremely serious condition or as a completely changed man."
"It can't be like that now. He will be able to communicate sometimes, right? Like at least once. I mean it's not a prison now, is it?" Jaya said.
"Sure it's not. But he'll go for training for months. At that time, you wouldn't even know whether he is even breathing or not," Jasmine said.
"You won't get what he went through and start distrusting him. You will start to think of various scenarios that may not even be true, but the human mind is beautiful. It can imagine so creatively that it almost becomes the eternal truth in your head."
"But he is not that kind of guy. He wouldn't do something like that," Jaya rebutted.
"People change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. How do you know which one will happen after he comes back?" Jasmine said.
"Then starts the alcohol. What an interesting drink! People drink it to celebrate and also to forget themselves due to their sorrows. He will start drinking more often, stay away from home for long hours and come back dead drunk. You will start even more mistrusting him and start checking his pockets."
"And then come the kids. He won't be there most of the times, so you have to do the heavy lifting. Everyone will ask you to be understanding and be a kind and understanding wife and mother to your family when you just want to scream at your husband for not being there when you need him the most. And, amidst this, do you know who the collateral damage is? It's your kids. So, tell me, Jaya, if today Siddharth comes and tells you he wants to join the army, will you be with him?"
"I need time to think. I need time to think a bit. I'll come back tomorrow." Jaya kept the knife she had in her hand on the chopping board, collected her items and left in panic. Jasmine looked at the incomplete chopped vegetables and said, "She really got scared now, huh?"
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
"Do you remember that day when you called me frantically, asking whether I planned to join the army and asking if we could marry so that you could experience the proper martial life before I leave?" Siddharth said to Jaya on the phone as he tossed and turned in his bed, still having the cold.
"Why does this phone call feel like a déjà vu of it?"
"I'm sorry, Siddharth. It's just that I didn't hear anything from you all day, and you weren't picking up your call. Jass wasn't picking up. I thought something major had happened, and you know, right, how much I start to panic once I feel something is wrong?" Jaya said apologetically.
Siddharth sneezed and said, "I know. It's my fault too. I shouldn't have kept my phone on silent. Then my roommate would have been able to pick it up and talk to you or wake me up to pick up the phone. I am sorry too."
"What are you doing right now?" Feeling awkward, Jaya said.
"Sleeping. I still am drowsy from the medicines." Siddharth said as he rubbed his eyes.
"Sleep more then; I won't disturb you further. By the way, I am coming back tomorrow." Jaya said.
"When?" Siddharth asked.
"Around 9:30 pm. You don't have to pick me up. I'll go by my own," Jaya said.
"Hmm." Siddharth mentally noted in his head to definitely pick her up from the airport.