The taxi ride was a blessed silence, thanks to whatever god lost in the cosmos, because I couldn't stand hearing those two trading barbs anymore as if the world depended on it. The air inside the vehicle was thick with tension, a smell of sweat mixed with the worn leather of the seats, while the engine purred softly, cutting through the arid landscape outside.
Finally, the taxi stopped in the middle of absolute nowhere, two intersections, one to the right, another to the left, both losing themselves in dusty roads that vanished on the horizon. But what really held the gaze was the immense mountain ahead, a wall of orange and irregular rock.
Being brutally honest, it was the perfect hideout for a secret base, fucking awesome. I wasn't behind on that; I had my own little secrets scattered across the planet. Mainly my personal pad, that secret base where I hibernated for long periods when I was completely bored. Sometimes one, two, or three weeks straight, just sleeping like a lazy bear.
And, man, after all the stress that Airachnid caused me, I'd give anything for three uninterrupted weeks. Maybe two months.
"Very well, you damn cheating Autobot," Airachnid hissed, turning to Windblade with eyes flashing in furious purple. "How the hell do we get into this pathetic Autobot base? Are you gonna tell me it's by digging the ground?"
Windblade laughed mockingly.
"Obviously through a secret door, you fat, walking spider idiot! I thought you were more creative than that, you dumb, food-obsessed spider."
"If you two start this shit fight again," I intervened, "I'll double the punishment I already stipulated for each of you."
They fell silent immediately, but I could clearly see that if there was a gas leak nearby, they would cause an explosion just by staring at each other. Why is every girl I know a ticking time bomb?
We left the main road and started trekking the terrain toward the mountain. After a short time, an entire section of the mountain face suddenly trembled with a mechanical roar and the rock texture dissolved into camouflaged panels that slid to the sides, revealing an illuminated underground tunnel.
We went inside and the air immediately felt cooler; the air conditioning here is excellent. I looked back as the doors slammed shut with a dry click, officially sealing our entry into the secret base.
I couldn't help but notice Airachnid shrinking a bit. I couldn't blame her, or rather, I could and should, since she was the one who decided to cause problems with the Autobots.
"Airachnid, try to behave, okay?" I whispered, leaning close to her. "Not everyone has my infinite patience to put up with your black-widow psychopath personality."
She shot me a glare with my comment, being a bit shy with her body language.
"You better reward me like hell after all this. This is humiliating, you son of a bitch."
Is it gonna be an epic plot twist for the Autobots to discover that Windblade just brought the Allspark right into the heart of their base, like it was the most casual thing in the universe? If I were in their place, I'd be in shock for hours. But, fuck, I could barely wait to see the circus catch fire.
Especially with Optimus. Of course there was gonna be a serious talk about throwing people into space at 400 km/h. I know, I still haven't gotten over that shit. Let's face it: I came out of the portal and the first thing I hit was a meteor the size of a truck. Do you have any idea of the pain? That throbbed in my head for ages. After the impact, I entered a state of total stasis, only waking up when my human form became a cocoon under my power.
A few more seconds of walking and the tunnel widened, giving way to a vast hall inside the mountain. The great Autobot base in all its glory. With a huge symbol of the faction emblazoned on the floor.
However, I quickly spotted a huge orange-and-white Autobot patrolling the back of the room, with heavy steps that echoed, clearly absorbed in some task. I decided not to interrupt him.
My eyes scanned the space, spotting a panel with screens displaying Cybertronian symbols, as well as a sturdy staircase leading to an elevated platform, a mezzanine. Curiosity drew me there, since there was nothing else to do.
As I slowly climbed the steps, I had a bad feeling.
When I turned my head over my shoulder, there they were: Airachnid and Windblade, standing in the middle of the hall like two bratty kids. They pointed at each other with furious gestures, but without making any sound.
Airachnid raised her middle finger and Windblade frowned, confused by the gesture, but realized it was an offense. Then she returned the gesture with a defiant smile on her face. Airachnid huffed and doubled the bet, proudly raising both middle fingers.
I rolled my eyes so hard I almost got dizzy. Impressive! In less than a minute, they found a loophole in my rule just to offend each other. All that was missing was them creating their own language.
I sighed deeply and kept climbing.
I reached the top of the platform and saw a young boy about 11, maybe 12 years old, hunched over a laptop. The bluish screen lit up his face, which showed concentration.
His fingers flew across the keyboard, typing equations that would make a NASA PhD choke. But it wasn't conventional math. No, that was Cybertronian: energon flow vectors, quantum transformation matrices, plasma field derivatives. The kid was solving an equation from the Cybertronian science academy, not bad.
I knelt beside him. I leaned over the monitor to see the numbers. And there, right in the middle of line 47, was a beginner's mistake. A flipped sign that would turn the entire formula into a recipe for a micro-plasma explosion. If put into practice, the device would implode, and someone wouldn't be happy.
"Here," I murmured, pointing with my fingers directly at the monitor and drawing an invisible line in the air. "You inverted the phase vector. Start over from line 47, otherwise this turns into a miniature pulse grenade. Seriously. Boom. Bye-bye little fingers."
The kid jumped so hard he almost knocked over the laptop.
"WHAT?!" His voice came out high and cracked, eyes wide behind fogged lenses. He stared at me like I was a ghost.
And that's when I realized. Raf. The same Raf. Only... bigger, but the difference wasn't worth praising since the first time. He was just four centimeters taller. I mentally called him "young." Shit. I felt like a fossilized dinosaur.
"Hey, Raf," I said, casually, like I'd just come back from the bathroom. "It's been a while, huh? The remote-control car still working well?"
He froze. Mouth open. Eyes blinking nonstop. I'd glitched his brain.
I snapped my fingers right in front of his nose. *Snap. Snap. Snap.*
"Earth calling Raf. Earth calling Raf. Respond, kid."
He blinked hard, like rebooting the system. Adjusted his glasses with a trembling finger. "I... I'm completely confused. How did you get here? We've been looking for you for weeks!"
"Windblade found me lost near Las Vegas," I replied, already turning my attention back to the laptop. "It's a long story. I'll tell you everything later with popcorn and explosions. Now, focus: line 47. Redo it."
He lowered his eyes to the monitor, his face flushing when he saw the glaring error. "Damn... you're right. I let it slip." He started erasing furiously and redoing it very quickly. "Like this?"
I gave it a quick glance. "Not bad at all. There's a shortcut to simplify this, but this works too. Doesn't explode. Congrats, you just didn't kill everyone."
He laughed, a nervous laugh, but also relieved. Then he looked at me again, eyes shining with voracious curiosity.
"So... you're the Allspark. Like, for real." He paused. "What's it like?"
"Depends on the day, kid," I murmured, tilting my head in thought. "Sometimes it's a party, sometimes it feels like the whole universe decided to use me as a punching bag. If I had to give it a score from zero to a hundred... about seventy percent fun. But hey, it depends on the era. There are times out there I'd rather erase from memory with a cosmic delete and pretend they never existed."
I ignored the echo of my own voice bouncing around the base and leaned a little further forward, elbow on my knee.
"And how's the circus going here?"
Raf blinked, still processing, then straightened up in his seat.
"After we discovered that you are Allspark, we turned the planet upside down looking for you. But you... just vanished off the radar. No signal, no energon signature. Nothing."
I smirked sideways in mockery.
"Simple. I'd spend a week, sometimes more, in each country. Last pit stop was Brazil. Before that, Japan and Russia. Wasn't exactly making it easy for you guys, was I? Besides, I've spent my whole life hiding; I'm damn good at it."
He made that "ah, now it makes sense" face, eyes widening behind the lenses.
"So that's it."
A rhythmic metallic sound rose up the stairs, muffled by their human forms. Airachnid and Windblade appeared at the top, side by side, but with enough space between them for a tank to roll through. And Raf turned his head so fast I almost heard his neck crack.
"Who are they?"
"The one with the Asian appearance is Windblade, and the goth one over there is Airachnid, a former Decepticon with a PhD in food." I pointed casually with my thumb. "Human disguise mode, cool, huh?"
The kid's mouth opened into a perfect "O".
"You... turned them into humans?!"
"Upgraded their T-Cogs. Basic stuff. Like updating the OS."
"Lux," Windblade called, her voice tense. "Can you turn me back to normal? This form is awful. I can't deliver important news looking like an anime doll."
Now I was wondering: when the hell did Windblade learn that term? Her future-vision skill is top-tier, I'll admit. Or maybe Airachnid was corrupting her to the dark side of otakus without me noticing.
"Do it soon," Airachnid mocked, crossing her arms with a venomous smile. "You're too ugly to be taken seriously."
Windblade raised her middle finger with theatrical slowness.
"Fuck you, spider."
I walked over to Windblade, rested my hand on her shoulder, and let the energy flow. A blue pulse ran down her arm, unlocking the T-Cog with an internal click.
She leaped off the mezzanine like a missile, landing on the hall floor with a THUD that made the ground shake. Metal expanded, plates rearranged, wings unfolded. Within seconds, there she was in her Cybertronian form.
"Finally," she sighed, stretching her arms overhead. Gears groaned in relief, like a cat stretching after a nap. "Airachnid, how do you stand this tiny form all the time?"
"Because I am a superior life form," replied the spider, its chin held high in arrogance. "And because I am a machine of sensuality."
I thought aloud, unintentionally: "It's only a Superior Life Form in its lack of shame."
Raf looked at me, confused.
"She... seems pretty human."
"Just don't eat anything near her," I warned, voice heavy with resentment.
"What?"
"Sooner or later you'll get it." I gave him a few light pats on the shoulder. "I'll explain later. Now get back to the formula. That line still needs a phase flow tweak. I can give you some killer tips on that part that'll help you down the road."