If you enjoy this story and want to help it continue, you can support the project on Patreon.
Your support allows me to dedicate more time to writing, maintain a consistent publishing schedule, and keep creating new stories.
As a member, you'll also have access to benefits like early chapters, previews of future projects, and exclusive behind-the-scenes content.
Thank you for reading and for being part of this adventure!
https://www.patreon.com/c/Panoli
---
Chapter 79
Subaru woke feeling as though his body had been taken apart and put back together by someone who did not know where each piece belonged.
The first thing he recognized was pain.
It was not intense.
Not like during the duel.
Ferris had removed the injuries capable of threatening his life, joined what Julius had broken, and reduced the swelling enough to let him breathe. What remained was the physical memory of the beating: a collection of dull aches, stiff muscles, and bones that protested at the slightest movement.
Wrist.
Ribs.
Jaw.
Shoulder.
Leg.
Every part seemed to remember the wooden sword separately.
Then he recognized the ceiling.
It did not belong to the inn.
Nor to Roswaal Manor.
It was tall, white, crossed by green lines that converged around a lagmite installed at the center. The curtains had been drawn back. Evening light entered from the side, staining the room with an orange far too warm for the cold Subaru felt inside.
He remained still.
For several seconds, he could not remember how he had gotten there.
The castle.
The knights.
The candidates.
Emilia standing before everyone.
His own voice filling the hall.
Julius looking at him as though he had stripped away the skin hiding every one of Subaru's flaws.
The training yard.
The wooden sword.
The ground.
Emilia's voice calling his name.
Subaru closed his eyes.
The memories did not disappear.
He tried to sit up.
Pain shot through his side. His right arm was bandaged and immobilized from the wrist to near the elbow. The movement stopped halfway.
—You shouldn't get up yet.
The voice came from his left.
Subaru opened his eyes.
Emilia was sitting beside the bed.
She was no longer wearing the ceremonial cloak. The white garment rested folded across her lap, though one corner hung low enough to brush the floor. Her silver hair fell freely down her back and caught the light from the window.
She was not smiling.
Subaru felt his chest tighten in a way that had nothing to do with his injuries.
—Emilia-tan.
She did not react to the nickname.
—How do you feel?
It was the correct question.
Kind.
The question anyone would ask after finding someone injured.
That was what hurt the most.
Subaru looked at his hands.
—Like I tried stopping a stampede with my face.
—It wasn't a stampede.
—It was a comparison.
—I know.
The conversation died before it could begin.
Subaru searched for something else to add. A joke. An exaggerated phrase. Anything that might produce that slightly confused expression Emilia usually wore whenever she failed to understand one of his references.
He found nothing.
His throat was dry.
There was a glass on the table beside the bed. Subaru stared at it for too long.
Emilia picked it up.
She slipped one hand behind his head and helped him rise. Her fingers were careful. Precise.
There was no affectionate clumsiness.
No scolding.
Only care.
Subaru drank.
The water soothed his throat.
Emilia returned the glass to its place and withdrew her hand.
—Thank you.
—It's nothing.
Another correct answer.
Subaru rested his head against the pillow again.
—Where are we?
—At Lady Crusch Karsten's residence.
—So the cat kidnapped me.
—Ferris brought you here to continue the treatment that had already been arranged.
—That sounds less interesting.
Emilia lowered her gaze toward the cloak.
Subaru studied her face.
Her eyelids looked swollen.
He did not know whether she had cried.
The possibility produced a mixture of hope and shame.
Hope because it would mean she had worried.
Shame because he was probably the reason.
—How long was I unconscious?
—A few hours.
—Julius hits fast.
Emilia did not answer.
—Did Link kill him?
She raised her eyes.
Subaru tried to smile.
—It's a reasonable question. Link has a certain tendency to solve disagreements through structural damage.
—He wanted to go after him.
—Of course.
—He threatened to leave him in worse condition than you.
Subaru's smile diminished.
—That also sounds about right.
—He said he might rip his arms off.
Subaru closed his eyes.
—Yes. Definitely him.
—Rem and I stopped him.
Subaru looked at her again.
—You too?
—Yes.
—How?
—We talked to him.
Subaru remembered the six black extensions.
The horns.
Enough strength to erase a mountain.
—You just talked?
—At first he tried ignoring us.
—That's more believable.
—Rem reminded him that he should worry about you before Julius.
Subaru looked toward the door.
—Is he here?
—Yes.
—Where?
—Outside.
The answer came too quickly.
Subaru understood.
—He's listening.
Emilia looked toward the door.
—I asked for privacy.
—That didn't answer me.
—He promised not to come in.
Subaru released a small laugh.
His ribs protested.
—Privacy to Link means he won't open the door while listening to every heartbeat.
—That isn't right.
—No.
—But he refused to go far away either.
—That does sound like him.
Outside the room, Link remained leaning against the wall.
He was not beside the frame.
He had positioned himself several steps farther away, as though distance could turn what he was doing into respect.
It did not work.
He could hear Subaru breathing.
The movement of the sheet.
Emilia's fingers brushing against the cloak.
Every word.
He had tried focusing on anything else.
The servants' footsteps.
The garden.
The Earth Dragons in the stables.
Water flowing through some pipe.
Rem's heart somewhere else in the residence as she prepared everything necessary for the night.
Nothing covered the voices behind the door.
He could leave.
He did not.
Subaru had woken up.
That should have been enough to ease him.
It was not.
Inside, Emilia spoke again.
—Link allowed Ferris to examine him so he could come inside.
Subaru opened his less swollen eye a little wider.
—A complete examination?
—Enough for Ferris to allow him to stay here.
—Then he really was desperate.
Emilia closed her fingers around the white fabric.
—We were all worried.
Subaru heard the plural.
All of us.
Not her.
All of us.
He tried convincing himself it meant nothing.
—It wasn't that serious.
Emilia slowly raised her head.
Subaru knew he had made a mistake before she said anything.
—It wasn't that serious?
—I'm alive.
—That does not make what happened any less serious.
—Ferris healed me.
—You could have died.
—Julius wasn't trying to kill me.
—You used magic.
Subaru fell silent.
Emilia held his gaze.
—I asked you not to.
—The situation demanded it.
—No.
The refusal was calm.
—You wanted to hit him.
—If I had managed to use Shamac—
—You were already defeated.
The sentence arrived cleanly.
Without any intention of humiliating him.
That made it hurt more.
Subaru looked away.
—Thanks for reminding me.
Emilia seemed to shrink slightly.
Not through a visible physical movement.
Something in her eyes withdrew.
—I wasn't trying to hurt you.
—It doesn't matter.
—Of course it matters.
—Julius already proved how useless I am. You don't need to repeat it.
Emilia's face tightened.
—I never said you were useless.
—You said I was defeated.
—Because you were.
—I know.
—Then why are you acting as though acknowledging it is an attack?
Subaru had no answer.
Because truth felt like an attack when his entire self-worth depended on pretending he could be someone else.
Because if he admitted that he could not touch Julius, then he had to admit he never had a chance.
And if he admitted that, the duel stopped being courage and became a tantrum.
—Why did you accept? —Emilia asked.
Subaru tightened his grip on the sheet.
—He challenged me.
—You could have refused.
—Not after what he said.
—What did he say?
The question sounded simple.
Subaru remembered Julius.
The white uniform.
The flawless posture.
The way the knights respected him without his needing to demand it.
The way he had taken Emilia's hand.
—He said I had no right to call myself a knight.
Emilia did not respond immediately.
—You aren't a knight.
Subaru felt the blow.
—I know.
—Then why did it offend you?
—Because he said it as though that meant I had no right to be beside you.
—Did he say that?
—Not in those words.
—Subaru.
—He said I had no power. No training. That using the title was an insult to the people who had actually earned it.
Emilia waited.
—And he was right —Subaru admitted, feeling as though every syllable tore something out of him—. But I couldn't stand hearing it from him.
—Why?
Subaru moved his uninjured hand.
—Because he looked like he had everything.
—I don't understand.
—Of course you don't.
He made another mistake.
Emilia lowered her gaze.
Subaru tried to correct it.
—I didn't mean—
—No. You're right.
For a moment, the answer sounded like acceptance.
Subaru felt a small amount of relief.
Then Emilia continued.
—I don't understand why Julius's opinion mattered more than what I asked you to do.
The relief disappeared.
—It didn't matter more.
—Then why did you obey him?
—I didn't obey him.
—You accepted his duel.
—That isn't obeying.
—He said something and you did exactly what he expected you to do.
Subaru opened his mouth.
He found no defense.
Julius had known.
From the beginning.
He had pulled every string, and Subaru had followed every movement while convincing himself he was resisting.
—I wanted to prove him wrong —he said.
—About what?
—About me.
—What were you trying to prove?
Subaru clenched his teeth.
—That I'm not something people can push aside whenever I become inconvenient.
Emilia frowned.
—I didn't push you aside.
—You left me at the inn.
—Because your Gate was damaged.
—You left me outside the castle.
—Because you weren't invited.
—You said you didn't need my help.
—Because I didn't need it there.
Every answer was reasonable.
Every answer made Subaru feel smaller.
—You can't decide I don't need to be with you.
—And you cannot decide that you must always be with me.
—I didn't say always.
—You came after promising that you would wait.
Subaru looked toward the window.
—I didn't exactly promise.
The silence afterward was unpleasant.
—Is that what you think? —Emilia asked.
Subaru wanted to take the words back.
He could not.
—I said I would live up to your expectations.
—I expected you to stay.
—I know.
—Then you knew what it meant.
—Yes.
—But now you're searching for a difference between the words so you can say you didn't break anything.
Subaru closed his hand.
—I'm not saying that.
—It sounds like you are.
Outside the room, Link rested his head against the wall.
He remembered the clumsy note on the inn table.
Sorry. Thank you. I'll come back.
Subaru had known he was disobeying.
Everyone had known.
Link too.
He had heard the window opening and allowed him to leave.
Emilia continued:
—Tomorrow, Roswaal and I are returning to the manor.
Subaru raised his head.
—What?
—You will stay here.
—Wait.
—Ferris will treat your Gate until you recover. Rem will remain with you. Lady Crusch has already accepted the conditions.
—Emilia, wait.
She continued speaking.
Faster.
As though she were afraid of stopping.
—You won't be alone. Rem knows your schedule, your injuries, and what you need. Link will also remain in the Capital as long as he decides to stay with you.
—I SAID WAIT!
Subaru tried to sit up.
His side burned.
He extended his left hand and caught Emilia's sleeve.
She became still.
Subaru felt the fabric beneath his fingers.
Then saw the way Emilia looked at his hand.
He released her.
Not because he wanted to.
Because for an instant, it looked as though he were restraining her.
—Why are you deciding this now?
—It had already been agreed that you would receive treatment here.
—Not that you would go back without me.
—The trip is over.
—Mine isn't.
—Subaru—
—I can go back to the manor and continue the treatment afterward.
—No.
—Ferris could come with us.
—He won't leave Crusch.
—Beatrice can help.
—Beatrice already said she cannot completely repair your Gate.
—Link can build something.
Outside, Link frowned.
He could not.
Subaru knew that.
He was only throwing options at the door Emilia was closing.
—This is not only about your Gate —she said.
Subaru stopped moving.
—Then what is it about?
Emilia closed her eyes.
When she opened them again, she had made a decision.
—You push yourself too hard when you're near me.
—That makes no sense.
—Yes, it does.
—Helping you isn't a problem.
—You end up hurt.
—That can happen even when you aren't there.
—But it always happens because of something related to me.
—No.
—It happened when we met.
Subaru felt his heart stumble.
—It happened at the manor —Emilia continued—. It happened in the forest. And today it happened again.
—It wasn't because I was with you.
—Then tell me why.
—Because I wanted to help you.
—I didn't ask you for help today.
—You don't need to ask.
—You don't get to decide that.
Her voice was not loud.
It contained exhaustion.
Subaru felt every logical answer pushing him toward a place he could only escape by using something Emilia did not know.
—You don't understand.
The sentence escaped.
He immediately knew he had attacked her.
Emilia stopped breathing for an instant.
—You're right.
Subaru felt a miserable relief.
Then she added:
—I don't understand.
It was not acceptance.
It was distance.
—I don't understand why you hurt yourself when I ask you not to. I don't understand why you say you want to help me while ignoring what I say. I don't understand why my decisions only seem to matter when they agree with yours.
—That isn't true.
—Then explain it to me.
Subaru looked at his hands.
He could not.
Not completely.
—I only did those things because I wanted to give you something.
—Give me what?
He opened his mouth.
Happiness.
Safety.
The insignia.
The kingdom.
Victory.
A reason for her to smile at him.
A reason for her to need him.
—I wanted to do something for you.
—For me?
—Yes.
The answer felt obvious.
It was the center of everything.
Emilia lowered her gaze.
—You did it for yourself.
Subaru went blank.
—What?
—You came to the castle because you wanted to come.
—To support you.
—Even though I asked you not to.
—That doesn't change—
—You fought Julius because what he said made you angry.
—He talked about you.
—He talked about you.
Subaru felt a stab.
—You used magic because you wanted to hit him —Emilia continued—. Not because I asked you to.
—I never said you asked me.
—You say all of it was for me.
—Because it was.
—No.
The word was soft.
Firm.
—Everything happened because you decided to do it. That does not mean you get to put it on me afterward.
Subaru felt something opening inside him.
—I'm not blaming you.
—Then stop saying you did it for me.
—BECAUSE YOU WERE THE REASON!
The white cloak struck his face.
Not hard.
The fabric covered his good eye for an instant before sliding down over his chest.
Subaru froze.
Emilia also seemed surprised that she had thrown it.
She did not apologize.
The emotions she had been holding back finally broke.
—STOP LYING AND SAYING ALL OF THOSE THINGS WERE FOR ME!
Her voice trembled.
—YOU CAME TO THE CASTLE BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO! YOU ACCEPTED THE DUEL BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO PROVE SOMETHING! YOU USED MAGIC BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T STAND LOSING!
Subaru slowly pulled the cloak away from his face.
—Emilia-tan—
—I ONLY WANTED YOU TO DO THE THINGS I ACTUALLY ASKED YOU TO DO!
Tears appeared.
They had not fallen yet.
—Do you remember them?
Subaru knew the answer.
He could not say it.
—I asked you to stay at the inn with Rem.
The first.
—And I asked you not to use magic again until you recovered.
The second.
—That was all.
Emilia brought one hand to her chest.
—I didn't want you to defeat anyone. I didn't want you to prove you were a knight. I didn't want you to go to the castle to defend me from people who weren't attacking me.
Subaru tightened his grip on the cloak.
—I'm sorry.
—You promised.
—I'm sorry.
—You broke both promises.
—I know.
—And now you want me to trust you because you say everything was for me.
—I wasn't trying—
—How can I trust you?
The question had no simple answer.
Subaru felt desperation rising through his throat.
—I did it because you saved me.
Emilia blinked.
—What?
Subaru clung to the sentence.
That part was true.
The root.
—I want to help you because you saved me.
—I didn't save you.
—Yes, you did.
—The first time we met was in the loot house.
—No.
Emilia shook her head.
—I had never seen you before.
—You don't remember.
—What is that supposed to mean?
Subaru breathed.
Outside the room, Link shifted away from the wall.
Something in Subaru's tone had changed.
He recognized it.
The same desperation from the fourth loop.
The voice of someone who had reached the limit of what he could carry alone.
—I don't think you can understand how much you did for me —Subaru said—. When I arrived, I didn't know anything. I had no one. You were the first person who—
—Subaru, I found you at the loot house.
—It wasn't the first time for me.
Emilia became still.
So did Link.
Subaru swallowed.
—Maybe you can't understand it, but listen to me. It's true. The first time we met, when I arrived in this world—
Time stopped.
Inside the room, the curtain froze.
A tear sliding down Emilia's cheek stopped before reaching her jaw.
Her breathing vanished.
The light stopped trembling against the glass.
Subaru recognized the silence.
The shadow came without passing through any door.
It did not need to enter.
It was already there.
Darkness gathered in front of his chest.
A hand took shape.
Subaru could not move.
Could not scream.
Could not pull the words back.
The fingers approached his heart.
Outside the room, Link stopped hearing Subaru.
Then he stopped hearing everything else.
The carriage wheels vanished.
The footsteps downstairs.
The dragons in the stables.
The trees.
The water.
A maid had been walking down the corridor carrying a tray. She froze with one foot halfway toward the floor.
A drop of water had spilled over the edge of a glass.
It remained suspended in the air.
Link knew that silence.
He had not understood it then.
But he knew it.
The forest returned to his memory.
The fourth loop.
The dampness between the trees.
Light passing through the leaves.
The scent of Mabeasts and disturbed earth.
Link had been far from the manor when the world froze for the first time.
A falling leaf had stopped in front of his face.
An insect ceased beating its wings.
The wind disappeared.
Then invisible fingers pierced his chest and closed around his heart.
He had searched for an enemy.
Found nothing.
Tried manifesting his kagunes.
They had not responded.
Tried absorbing mana.
The horns had not appeared.
The hand held him for several seconds before disappearing, leaving him kneeling in the middle of the forest, breathing as though he had returned from some airless depth.
Link had blamed the miasma.
The curse.
Some creature he had failed to detect.
He never learned why it happened.
He had never connected the phenomenon to the manor.
Much less to Subaru.
Now the Japanese boy's words were still inside his head.
The first time we met, when I arrived in this world...
The same hand returned.
It did not appear in front of Link.
It entered directly.
The fingers passed through shirt, skin, sternum, and everything his body could rebuild without leaving a wound.
They closed around his heart.
Link tried to move.
Nothing.
All six extensions reacted beneath his skin.
They could not emerge.
The horns tried to manifest.
They did not appear.
His regeneration found no damage.
His heart remained intact.
Whatever this was, it was not destroying him.
It was claiming him.
The pressure increased.
This was not the first warning.
It was the second.
And this time Link understood the cause.
It had not been the forest.
It had not been his transformation.
It had not been some hidden Mabeast.
The first hand had appeared at exactly the moment Subaru tried revealing it during the fourth loop.
Link had not known because he had been far away.
Distance had never mattered.
The hand had found both of them.
Then.
Now.
Always.
Inside the room, dark fingers closed around Subaru's heart.
Outside, another hand kept Link's trapped.
The chain between them did not carry only death.
It carried the punishment too.
Subaru stopped speaking.
Not by choice.
Because he already knew what would happen if he continued.
The shadow waited.
The hand holding Link's heart transmitted no voice.
The pressure increased one final time.
Then time returned.
Sound hit Link all at once.
The droplet fell into the tray.
The maid completed her step.
Leaves moved again.
His heart beat.
The first strike after being released was so violent that Link felt as though his chest would split open from within.
He dropped to one knee.
One hand pressed against the floor.
The other remained over his heart.
The maid stopped.
—Are you all right?
Link tried to answer.
Air would not enter correctly.
His body was healthy.
That made it worse.
There was nothing to heal.
Nothing to tear out.
Nothing to fight.
—Yes —he managed.
His voice came out rough.
—Should I call Sir Ferris?
—No.
—But—
—I'm fine.
She looked at his kneeling position.
Link understood the statement lacked credibility.
—It was only... dizziness.
—Sir Ferris said you must report any changes.
—It wasn't one of those changes.
That was true.
It did not belong to his body.
The maid hesitated.
Finally, she bowed and continued down the corridor, looking back once before disappearing around the corner.
Link did not immediately stand.
Inside the room, Emilia spoke.
—Again.
Her voice was low.
Cold.
—Again, you stop the sentence halfway through.
Link closed his eyes.
Subaru was breathing hard.
Sweat had appeared across his forehead. Emilia could not see the frozen world or the hand.
She had only watched Subaru insist there was an explanation and then fall silent precisely when he needed to give it.
—I can't —he said.
—You always say that.
—Because it's true.
—Then what do you expect me to do?
Link used the wall to stand.
His chest remained tight from a memory that was not physical.
He could enter.
He could open the door and tell Emilia that Subaru had not chosen to stop speaking.
The thought alone made phantom fingers close again within his memory.
He did not.
Inside, Subaru spoke again.
—Why don't you understand?
Emilia remained silent.
—I thought you, of all people, might understand.
—The Emilia inside your head must be wonderful.
Subaru raised his face.
—What?
Emilia looked away.
—She understands everything without you having to explain.
Her voice was exhausted.
—She knows your pain. She knows when you're afraid. She knows why you get angry. She understands what you mean even when you say nothing.
—I didn't invent you.
—If you don't talk to me, I can't understand you.
—I'm trying.
—And when you can't, you get angry at me because I didn't guess.
Subaru tightened his grip on the cloak.
—You're different.
—That's another part of the Emilia you created.
—No.
—The real one makes mistakes.
Emilia brought one hand to her face and wiped away a tear.
—The real one doesn't know what happened before she met you. She doesn't know what you expect her to remember. She doesn't know why you act as though we've been together longer than we actually have.
Subaru looked at his own hands.
The shadow had taken away the one explanation capable of supporting his words.
—Everything I did... —he murmured.
Emilia looked at him.
Desperation searched for another exit.
It found pride.
—You made it this far because I was there.
Emilia's expression changed.
Subaru felt that he should stop.
He did not.
—At the loot house, you recovered your insignia because I kept looking.
Outside, Link clenched his teeth.
—I got Reinhard to help us. We found Felt. We stopped Elsa from killing everyone.
—Subaru...
—At the manor, we discovered the curse. The children are still alive. Rem is still alive. The village is intact.
His left hand closed.
His nails pierced his palm.
—Everything turned out well because I didn't give up.
Emilia watched him.
Subaru needed her to deny it.
To acknowledge it.
To do anything except look at him that way.
—Link is strong. Rem did a lot. Roswaal reached the forest. Everyone contributed.
His breathing became irregular.
—But if I hadn't been there, none of it would have ended the same way.
Link closed his eyes outside the room.
Subaru was using true facts to build a poisonous conclusion.
—I put my body on the line for you —he continued—. I got hurt for you. I kept moving forward for you.
The taboo did not react.
He had not explained the deaths.
—All because you mattered.
Emilia lowered her face.
—Don't do this.
—THEN ACKNOWLEDGE THAT IT MEANT SOMETHING!
—It did mean something.
—THEN...!
—But it does not mean I owe you becoming whatever you want me to be.
Subaru froze.
—I didn't say that.
—You're listing everything you did so you can tell me I have to trust you even when you break your promises.
—I only want—
—What do you want?
The question cornered him.
Subaru felt that he had to say something.
—After everything I did, you should compensate me somehow.
Silence fell.
The sentence remained before him.
Ugly.
Small.
Far too honest.
Subaru wanted to take it back.
Too late.
Emilia looked at him.
Not angrily.
Anger would have been easier.
Her eyes emptied as her emotions pulled away from the surface so she could endure them.
—All right.
Subaru felt an absurd relief.
—Then you understand—
—I'll compensate you.
The relief turned into fear.
—Emilia-tan.
—I'll calculate everything you think I owe you.
Her voice was clear.
—The insignia. Your injuries. The village. Anything you've done for me.
—I didn't mean—
—I'll repay it.
Emilia stood.
—And when I'm finished, there will be no debt left between us.
Subaru felt a blow harder than anything Julius had dealt him.
—That isn't what I meant.
—It is exactly what you said.
—I was angry.
—So am I.
—Then you know I didn't—
—That is enough, Subaru Natsuki.
His full name destroyed the final excuse.
Subaru could not continue.
Emilia folded the cloak again and placed it on the bed.
—Rem will arrive soon. Do what she tells you. Ferris will continue your treatment.
She walked toward the door.
Subaru did not reach after her.
He had no right.
Emilia reached the handle.
Stopped.
—I had hopes.
Her voice was so quiet it seemed directed at herself.
Subaru raised his head.
—I thought maybe you wouldn't treat me like everyone else.
—I never treated you—
—Everyone sees something before they see me.
Her fingers closed around the handle.
—A half-elf. Someone who resembles the Witch. A candidate. Someone to fear, protect, or admire.
Her back remained turned toward Subaru.
—I thought you might see me as a normal girl.
Subaru felt his eyes burning.
—I can't.
Emilia closed her eyes.
—I know.
—I can't see you the way I see everyone else.
Subaru clutched the white cloak.
—Even if there were no one else left in the world, you would still be different to me.
It was not the answer she wanted.
It was the only truth he could offer without calling the hand.
The handle turned.
The door opened.
Emilia found Link standing in front of her.
He had managed to get back to his feet.
He was still paler than usual, with one hand lingering near his chest.
They looked at each other.
Emilia saw his position in the hallway.
She understood.
—You listened.
It was not a question.
Link did not lie.
—Yes.
Shame appeared through the pain.
—It was private.
—I know.
—I asked you not to come inside.
—I didn't.
The answer was technically true.
It did not help.
—But you listened.
—Yes.
Emilia stepped out and pulled the door behind her without closing it completely. The wood merely rested against the frame.
She started walking.
—Emilia.
She did not stop.
Link followed one step.
—Wait.
She stopped.
She did not turn.
Link searched for a sentence that would neither absolve Subaru nor deny what Emilia had suffered.
—There are things Subaru cannot say.
Emilia's back tensed.
—I already know that.
—Not because he doesn't want to.
—Don't explain him for him.
Link closed his mouth.
Emilia turned.
Tears had left wet trails down her cheeks.
—Everyone explains him for him.
—I'm not trying—
—Rem says he means well. Roswaal says he can be useful. You say there are things he cannot say. Subaru says I should understand him without his speaking.
—I don't think you should have to guess.
—Then what do you think?
Link brought one hand toward his chest.
He remembered the leaf frozen in the forest.
The droplet in the corridor.
The fingers.
He could say something punished him.
He could try explaining that Subaru did not fall silent by choice.
He did not know where the limit was.
He would not test it with Emilia standing before him.
The hesitation was enough.
—You can't say it either —she murmured.
—No.
The answer was honest.
—Why?
Link remained silent.
He could not answer without approaching the secret.
Emilia released a small, broken laugh.
—There is always something people can't tell me.
—I'm sorry.
—That doesn't help either.
—I know.
Emilia turned her face away.
—I can't keep accepting that other people's secrets get to decide what I should feel.
—You're right.
She looked back at him.
The answer seemed to surprise her.
—Subaru was wrong —Link continued—. He shouldn't have gone to the castle. He shouldn't have used magic. He shouldn't have accepted the duel. And he shouldn't have turned what he did into a debt.
Every admission hurt.
Subaru was still behind the door.
He could hear them.
Link knew.
—But that doesn't mean everything he feels is false.
—I never said it was.
—No.
—I said I can't understand what he refuses to explain.
Link lowered his hand.
—You're right about that too.
—Then what are you trying to accomplish?
—I don't want you to think he only wanted to collect payment from you.
Emilia looked toward the door.
—I don't know what he wanted.
—Neither does he.
—That doesn't improve anything.
—No.
The honesty finished exhausting any possible comfort.
Emilia breathed slowly.
—He asked me to trust him after breaking every promise.
—Yes.
—He said everything was for me while doing exactly the opposite of what I asked him to do.
—Yes.
—And then he reminded me of everything he had done as though I had asked him to destroy himself for my sake.
Link thought of his own sleepless nights.
Of Rem appearing in his room.
Of how easily he could turn her care into an obligation.
—You shouldn't have to carry that.
—Then don't tell me to think about his pain first.
—I wasn't going to say that.
—You thought it.
Link did not answer.
He had thought Subaru would get worse.
He had thought Emilia should stay a little longer.
He had thought about asking her to go back inside.
Any of those things would have turned Subaru's condition into a chain around her.
—Yes —he admitted—. I thought it.
Emilia pressed her lips together.
—I cannot stay because we are afraid of what Subaru might do if I leave.
—I know.
—I can't forgive him just because he suffered before.
—I know.
—I can't be the solution to everything he refuses to tell me.
Link lowered his gaze.
—I know.
—Then stop following me.
The order was not hostile.
It was tired.
Link stopped.
Emilia walked two steps.
He spoke once more.
—I don't want you leaving while believing he never saw you as a person.
She stopped.
—He turned me into someone who had to understand everything.
—Yes.
—Someone who had to reward him.
—Yes.
—Someone whose opinion he could ignore while claiming to protect her.
Link denied nothing.
Emilia looked back over her shoulder.
—Maybe the normal girl he says he loves never had room beside the Emilia he needed to imagine.
The sentence left Link without an answer.
She resumed walking.
—Are you returning to the manor tomorrow? —he asked.
—Yes.
—Will you talk to him again before you leave?
Emilia stopped.
—I can't do it now.
—I didn't ask about now.
—I don't know.
Link felt the impulse to insist.
He remembered what she had just said.
He would not put Subaru's condition on her shoulders.
—I understand.
—I don't think you do.
—Probably not.
That stopped Emilia's next response.
She closed her eyes.
—Good night, Link.
—Good night.
She walked away.
Link stayed in the corridor until the silver hair disappeared around a corner.
He did not follow.
It would have accomplished nothing.
For several seconds, he only listened.
Emilia's footsteps descending the stairs.
Subaru's heart behind the door.
His own.
Both were still beating.
Link pushed the door open.
Subaru was bent over the white cloak.
He held it against his chest as though the fabric preserved part of Emilia.
He did not look up when Link entered.
Link closed the door.
The chair Emilia had occupied remained beside the bed.
He did not want to sit there.
He chose the opposite edge of the mattress.
He left enough distance between them.
His weight depressed the bed.
Link sighed.
Subaru remained silent.
The orange light from the window slowly disappeared. The ceiling lagmite came on when the room became dark.
—You can say it —Subaru murmured.
Link rested his forearms on his legs.
—Say what?
—That I was an idiot.
—You were an idiot.
Subaru laughed.
His ribs hurt, and the sound died.
—Thanks.
—You gave me permission.
—I thought you'd try making me feel better.
—It wouldn't work.
Subaru tightened his hold on the cloak.
—She hates me.
—No.
—You heard everything.
—That's why I know she doesn't hate you.
—She said she's done with me.
—She said she would repay the debt you threw onto her so you could never use it again.
Subaru raised his face.
His less swollen eye was red.
—That isn't better.
—No.
Link was not going to lie to him.
Subaru looked down at the fabric again.
—I thought she would understand.
—I know.
—You don't know anything.
—That sentence caused enough problems today.
Subaru clenched his jaw.
—Don't start.
—I'm not starting.
Several seconds passed.
—The Emilia inside my head —Subaru said—. Do you think she exists too?
Link studied his battered profile.
—Yes.
Subaru closed his eyes.
—Fuck you.
—I have a Rem inside my head too.
Subaru looked at him.
—Don't compare.
—Listen first.
—I don't want to.
—Then I'll talk anyway.
Link looked at the black cord around his wrist.
—I have an imaginary Rem who always knows when a joke means I'm fine and when I'm using it to avoid talking. One who understands when I want to be alone and when I want her to follow me. One who never gets tired of my problems.
—The real one is probably like that too.
—No.
The immediate answer made Subaru blink.
—Rem gets tired. She worries. She gets angry. Sometimes she doesn't understand what I'm trying to say. Sometimes she thinks I'm trying to protect her when I'm actually trying to push her away.
Link lowered his gaze.
—And sometimes she stays with me when she should be sleeping because I don't know how to ask for help without turning myself into a burden.
—How nice. You have a functional relationship.
—Because we argued before reaching this point.
—Thanks for bragging.
—I'm not bragging.
Subaru lifted the cloak.
—You have Rem. Power. Magic. Spirits. The manor accepts you. Beatrice teaches you. Even Mabeasts obey you.
—I also almost killed Ram.
—But you didn't.
—Because something I had forgotten reacted before I did.
—Still ended well.
Link turned toward him.
—That's the same thing you were saying earlier.
Subaru fell silent.
—That the result erases how you got there —Link continued—. That if everyone lives, broken promises stop mattering.
—It isn't the same.
—It never feels the same when you're the one doing it.
—Whose side are you on?
—Yours.
—Doesn't sound like it.
—Being on your side does not mean telling you Emilia was unfair.
Subaru exhaled through his nose.
—Then it's useless.
—You said the same thing about Rem when she tried stopping you at the inn.
Subaru's expression changed.
—You let me leave.
—Yes.
—Don't pretend you were responsible.
—I was.
Link interlaced his fingers.
—Roswaal ordered us not to stop you.
Subaru froze.
—What?
—Before Emilia went to the castle.
—You and Rem?
—Yes.
—What exactly did he say?
—That we were not to stand in your way regardless of what Emilia asked.
Subaru's healthy hand closed.
—That bastard.
—Yes.
—Then all of this was planned.
—Roswaal knew you would try going.
—Why did he want me to go?
—To see what you would do.
Subaru laughed without humor.
—Well, now he saw.
—Yes.
—Does Emilia know?
—No.
—And you just spent all this time telling me I broke her trust while you're hiding this from her?
Link accepted the blow.
—Yes.
Subaru stared at him.
He expected a defense.
None came.
—That's hypocritical.
—Very.
—Then you have no right to judge me.
—Probably not.
—Stop agreeing with everything.
—It won't make the accusation false.
Subaru looked away.
—You could have stopped me.
—Yes.
—Why didn't you?
Link remembered the date with Rem.
The garden.
The books.
The hairpin.
The day off Roswaal had placed in front of them to move them away.
—Because I accepted the deal.
—For a date?
—Also for information about Felt.
—But mainly for the date.
Link remained silent.
Subaru understood.
—You went on a date while I destroyed my life.
—Yes.
—I hate you.
—I understand.
—Was it good?
Link looked at the cord.
—Yes.
—I hate you more.
—I understand that too.
An uncomfortable silence settled between them.
It was not kind.
It was also no longer as harsh as before.
Subaru placed the cloak across his legs.
—What did you tell Emilia?
—That you were wrong.
—Great defense.
—I also told her not everything you felt was false.
—Did she believe you?
—I wasn't trying to make her believe me.
—Then what?
—I don't know.
Subaru closed his eyes.
—Everyone keeps saying that today.
Link brought one hand toward his chest.
The pressure was gone.
The memory remained.
Subaru saw the movement.
—What's wrong with you?
Link took time to answer.
—When you tried telling her.
Subaru's eyes opened.
—What?
—When you talked about the first time you met Emilia.
What little color remained in his face disappeared.
—What happened?
Link held his gaze.
—It came back.
Subaru stopped breathing.
—The hand?
—Yes.
—It got you?
—Yes.
Subaru sat up too quickly.
Pain forced him to stop.
Link grabbed his shoulder to keep him from falling.
—Slow down.
—When did you feel it before?
The question came immediately.
Link understood the confusion.
—During the fourth loop.
Subaru became still.
—At the manor?
—I was in the forest.
The memory passed between them.
Subaru trying to explain it to Emilia.
Link far away.
The first prohibition.
—Then that time... —Subaru murmured.
—It reached me too.
—You never said anything.
—I didn't know what had happened.
Link removed his hand from Subaru's shoulder.
—The world stopped. A hand went through my chest. When it moved again, there was nothing around me.
—You thought it was a Mabeast?
—At first.
—But there was no scent.
—Nothing.
—Miasma?
—There was too much in the forest to distinguish it.
Subaru rested against the pillow again.
—Why didn't you tell me?
—When I came back, we had other problems.
—That isn't an explanation.
—I thought it belonged to my body. The curse. Something I had eaten.
—You didn't have the full mutation yet.
—That's why I discarded some possibilities afterward. I never found another answer.
Subaru brought his left hand toward his chest.
—Until today.
—Until today.
Link looked toward the door.
—The first time happened while you were trying to tell Emilia. I didn't know because I was far away. Today I heard your words before time stopped.
Subaru swallowed.
—It always punishes both of us.
—Both times you tried, yes.
—Even if you're far away.
—Distance didn't matter.
Subaru looked down.
—The chain.
—Probably.
—When I die, it drags you with me.
—And when you try to talk, it finds both our hearts.
Subaru laughed once.
The sound was empty.
—What a wonderful package.
Link did not answer.
—Was it the same? —Subaru asked.
—Yes.
—Same pressure?
—Yes.
—Did it talk to you too?
—I didn't hear a voice.
—I usually don't either.
—But I understood.
Subaru slowly nodded.
—Don't say anything.
—Exactly.
—Could you move?
—No.
—Horns?
—Nothing.
—Kagunes?
—Nothing.
—Regeneration?
Link shook his head.
—There was no wound.
Subaru looked at Link's chest.
—Now you understand.
—I understand more.
—It's the same thing.
—No.
Link turned toward him.
—You've been living with this since the fourth loop.
Subaru did not answer.
—I felt it once in the forest without knowing what it was. Then I moved on. For you, it appeared exactly when you were trying to ask for help.
Subaru tightened his grip on the cloak.
—I don't need pity.
—I'm not giving you pity.
—Then what?
Link searched for a word.
—I finally know you weren't staying silent because you wanted to.
Subaru lowered his gaze.
—Emilia doesn't.
—No.
—And you can't tell her.
—No.
—Then nothing changes.
—It changes what I understand.
Subaru released a breath.
—Very useful.
—I didn't say it was enough.
—When you followed Emilia, did you try telling her?
—No.
—Because you were afraid?
Link thought of the fingers.
—Because of experience.
Subaru gave a dry laugh.
—Now you really are one of us.
—I always was.
—Not like this.
—The hand has been able to reach me from the beginning.
Subaru fell silent.
That was the important difference.
Link had not just been included.
He had only just discovered that he had always been included.
—Do you think it can kill you too? —Subaru asked.
—Yes.
The answer contained no hesitation.
—Do you know?
—I don't need to test it.
—When I keep trying, the pressure gets stronger.
—I felt it.
—Today it didn't squeeze completely.
—It was a warning.
Subaru touched the bandage around his wrist.
—Next time could be worse.
—For both of us.
The words remained between them.
Subaru raised his eyes.
—Then don't listen behind a door again when I try talking about it.
Link looked at him.
—That wouldn't stop it from reaching me.
—No.
—The first time I was in the forest.
—I know.
Subaru let his head fall against the pillow.
—There's no safe distance.
—Apparently not.
—Not enough power either.
Link looked at his hands.
He could tear through buildings.
Destroy mountains.
Rebuild his body.
None of it had mattered against five fingers.
—No.
Subaru closed his eyes.
—Welcome.
—Don't say that like it's a club.
—We have two members.
—I hate both of them.
—Me too.
They remained silent.
Subaru's heart beat.
So did Link's.
After experiencing the hand in the forest, Link had thought the attack might never return.
Now he knew it had always been waiting behind the words.
—I can't explain it to her —Subaru said.
—No.
—I can't even tell her something stops me from talking.
—You could probably say something vague.
—And if I can't?
Link had no answer.
—I'm not risking your heart to test a sentence —Subaru continued.
The decision surprised Link.
It should not have.
Subaru could ignore the value of his own life.
Other people's were different.
—Thank you —Link said.
—Don't get sentimental.
—I wasn't.
—Sounded like it.
—It was a practical observation.
—You lie worse than Emilia.
Link looked toward the door.
—Don't use her like that again.
—Emilia?
—The debt.
Subaru pressed his lips together.
—I wasn't going to.
—You did.
—I was desperate.
—That doesn't change what she received.
Subaru held the white cloak.
—What was I supposed to say?
—I don't know.
—Great help.
—You could have started by not listing everything you did like advance payments.
—I didn't want it to sound like that.
—But you wanted her to acknowledge you deserved something.
Subaru did not answer.
—You wanted her to see you —Link continued—. Admit that you mattered. That your suffering had value.
—Is that bad?
—No.
—Then—
—Expecting her to become the proof is.
Subaru tightened the cloak against his chest.
—You have Rem.
—Yes.
—She chose you.
—Yes.
—Then it's easy for you to say that.
Link accepted the accusation.
—Easier.
—You have no idea what it's like to do everything for someone and have that person look at you like you're a stranger.
—No.
—Stop answering so calmly.
—Do you want me to invent an experience?
Subaru looked away.
—I want someone to tell me I didn't lose her.
Link looked at the battered face.
—I can't.
Subaru's eyes grew wet.
—You could lie.
—I could.
—Friends are supposed to do that.
—Not when the lie lets you repeat the same mistake.
Subaru swallowed.
—Then I lost her.
—Maybe.
The word was cruel.
Also honest.
—But tonight, you can't know what happens afterward.
—She leaves tomorrow.
—Yes.
—She doesn't want to talk to me.
—Not now.
—She said she doesn't know if she'll do it later.
—Then she didn't say never.
Subaru gave a small laugh.
—That's the most optimistic thing you've said.
—It doesn't mean she's coming back.
—Thanks for destroying it immediately.
Link leaned against the wall beside the bed.
—Recover first.
—Ferris would say that.
—There's a reason he's a healer.
—Then what?
—Then decide whether you want Emilia to know you, or whether you'll keep chasing the one you invented.
Subaru frowned.
—I didn't invent her.
—You invented parts.
—Everyone does that.
—Yes.
Link looked at the cord around his wrist.
—The difference is what you do when the real person contradicts the image.
Subaru thought about the cloak flying into his face.
—Mine threw clothes at me.
—Could have been worse.
—Don't help.
—I'm not trying.
Subaru adjusted himself.
The movement caused pain.
Link held the pillow so he could settle more comfortably.
—Would you have gone after Julius? —Subaru asked.
—Yes.
—Would you have beaten him?
Link looked at him.
—Yes.
It was not arrogance.
The difference in strength made pretending uncertainty unnecessary.
—Would you have ripped his arms off?
Link thought.
—I don't know.
Subaru studied his face.
—That means you considered it.
—A lot.
—Why didn't you go?
—Rem.
—Always Rem.
—In this case, Emilia too.
—What did she say?
—That I was repeating your mistake.
Subaru grimaced.
—That hurts.
—It worked.
—Do you think she was right?
—Yes.
—I hate this day.
—So do I.
—You got a date.
—The ending ruined the overall rating.
—Good.
Subaru placed the cloak over his chest.
—I don't want her to leave.
—I know.
—You could stop the carriage.
—Yes.
—Would you?
—No.
—Pepa could block the road.
—Pepa isn't here.
—Charizard.
—Neither is he.
—You could fly after her.
—Emilia would still want distance.
Subaru closed his eyes.
—I hate that that matters.
—That is exactly the problem.
—Shut up.
—Fine.
Several minutes passed.
Subaru did not sleep.
Link did not speak.
Finally Subaru murmured:
—Will you stay?
—Yes.
—You don't have to talk.
—Perfect.
—Your voice is annoying.
—Yours too.
—Then we agree.
Link remained seated.
Subaru stopped clutching the cloak so tightly.
Someone knocked at the door.
Rem entered carrying a tray.
She had changed back into her work uniform. The blue hairpin remained in her hair. On the tray sat a bowl, water, and several bottles prepared by Ferris.
Her eyes went first to Subaru.
Then Link.
They stopped on the hand resting too close to his chest.
—Subaru is awake.
—Unfortunately —he murmured.
Rem approached.
—Then you can take your medicine.
—I can go back to sleep.
—Afterward.
She placed the tray on the table.
—What is it?
—Broth.
Subaru looked at it suspiciously.
—Manzene?
—No.
—Thank you.
Rem helped him sit up.
Link supported his other shoulder.
Together they managed to raise him.
—Emilia left —Subaru said.
Rem's spoon stopped.
—Rem knows.
—Did you see her?
—Yes.
—How was she?
Rem thought before answering.
—Sad.
Subaru lowered his gaze.
—Good.
—That was not a good thing.
—I know.
He opened his mouth when Rem brought the spoon close.
He did not complain.
That was more worrying than his protests.
While Subaru ate, Rem occasionally looked at Link.
He avoided touching his chest.
She had already seen it.
When Subaru finished, Rem adjusted the blankets and checked the bandage around his arm.
—Ferris will return soon.
—I don't want him to.
—Your Gate needs treatment.
—His personality needs treatment.
—That isn't an illness magic can cure —Link said.
—Traitor —Subaru muttered.
Rem collected the tray.
—Link also needs rest.
—I'm fine.
She looked at him.
Did not answer.
Link recognized that expression.
—Nothing physical happened.
—Rem didn't ask that.
—You were going to.
—Did something happen?
Subaru opened his good eye.
Link held Rem's gaze.
He could not tell her.
Not there.
Not knowing that one wrong sentence could close fingers around two hearts.
—Something I don't understand —he answered.
Rem did not seem satisfied.
—Pain?
—Not anymore.
—Where?
Link looked at his chest.
Rem set down the tray.
She extended one hand.
Her fingers touched his shirt over his heart.
—Here?
—Yes.
The blue-and-red ring gave a tiny pulse in response to the contact.
—Ferris needs to examine it.
—He won't find anything.
—Ferris will decide that.
—Rem—
—You agreed to report any change.
Link remembered the conditions for entry.
—It wasn't a change in my body.
—How do you know?
He could not answer.
Rem watched him.
Concern slowly began replacing firmness.
—Does it have something to do with Subaru?
Subaru went still.
Link said nothing.
The absence of an answer said too much.
Rem looked between them.
—Is he in danger?
—Not now —Link said.
—Can it happen again?
Link thought about the forbidden words.
—Yes.
Rem's fingers tightened slightly against his shirt.
—Then you must tell Ferris.
—He can't help.
—How do you know?
—Because it left nothing behind.
—Link.
He took the hand resting over his chest.
—I'm not hiding this because I think I can solve it alone.
That was not the whole truth.
It was the part she needed to hear.
—I can't explain it here.
Rem held his gaze.
—Will you explain it afterward?
—Part of it.
The answer was not enough.
It was the most he could offer.
Rem breathed slowly.
—Afterward.
—Yes.
—You will not disappear.
—No.
—You will not go looking for Julius.
—No.
—And if you feel it again, you will call Rem.
Link squeezed her hand.
—Yes.
Rem leaned forward.
Rested her forehead against his.
She did not kiss him.
The gesture was more intimate than a kiss in front of Subaru.
—Do not lie.
—I won't.
She pulled away.
Subaru was watching from the bed.
—Disgustingly sweet.
—You asked me to stay —Link said.
—Not to make me witness a married-couple scene.
Rem picked up the tray.
—We aren't married.
Subaru looked at the ring.
—Yet.
Link turned toward him.
—Don't help.
For the first time since waking, Subaru genuinely smiled.
It was small.
Painful.
It disappeared quickly.
Rem walked toward the door.
—Ferris will be here in a few minutes.
—Threat received —Subaru said.
Before leaving, Rem looked at Link.
—Afterward.
—I remember.
The door closed.
Subaru waited.
—You aren't going to tell her.
—Not everything.
—What will you say?
—That I felt pressure for a few seconds.
—She'll ask why.
—I'll say it happened during the argument.
—That'll make her suspicious.
—Rem is already suspicious.
Subaru looked at the ceiling.
—You can't build a relationship on secrets.
—And I can't break both our hearts just to avoid one.
—Good point.
Link leaned back slightly.
—Sleep.
—Don't order me around.
—Sleep.
—Fine.
Subaru closed his eyes.
Exhaustion won shortly afterward.
Link remained there.
He did not hold his hand.
Did not stroke his hair.
Did not try filling the space Emilia had left behind.
No one could.
He simply remained beside him.
Subaru's heart kept a regular rhythm.
So did Link's.
For that night, both hearts were still beating because the hand had chosen to release them.
Crusch Karsten was still working when Ferris entered her office.
Night had covered the Capital. Several lagmites illuminated the room, reflecting across the desk, the documents, and the maps spread to one side.
Crusch had removed her ceremonial cloak. Her sword rested near the chair. Her posture, however, remained as firm as it had during the castle meeting.
Ferris closed the door.
His feline ears lowered slightly.
—Subaru is awake.
Crusch set down her pen.
—His condition?
—The injuries from the duel are no longer life-threatening. I closed the internal damage, aligned the bones, and stabilized his arm. The bruising will remain for several days.
—His Gate?
Ferris took the seat across from the desk.
—Worse than before.
—Because he used magic?
—He used an inflamed, exhausted Gate. The flow became even more disordered. He can recover, but he'll need daily treatment and must avoid any spellcasting.
Crusch watched him.
Ferris sighed.
—I know what you're thinking.
—I haven't said anything.
—The difficult part will be getting him to obey.
—Rem seems capable of that.
—Rem, perhaps. Link also seems willing to keep him in bed, though I'm not certain his methods satisfy medical standards.
—Tell me about Link.
Ferris leaned back.
—He arrived before the carriage did.
—I received the report.
—Did it mention the wall, the ground, and the dragon?
—In considerable detail.
—The guards were inspired.
Crusch interlaced her fingers.
—Was he out of control?
Ferris thought.
—Not completely.
—A troubling answer.
—The alternative would be lying.
The lightness vanished from his voice.
—He saw Subaru and decided to go to the castle to confront Julius. He said he did not care if he left him in worse condition. He also mentioned ripping off his arms.
—Did he attempt to leave?
—Yes.
—Who stopped him?
—Emilia and Rem.
—Not the guards.
—They wouldn't have been able to without turning the entrance into a battlefield.
Crusch received the information without any outward reaction.
—You?
Ferris raised one hand.
—I could have attacked his circulation through direct contact. I had no guarantee I could hold him long enough after he manifested the horns.
—Why didn't he attack?
—Rem reminded him Subaru needed him to stay.
—And he obeyed.
—He prioritized.
Ferris raised one finger.
—Those are not exactly the same thing.
—Explain.
—He did not acknowledge the authority of House Karsten or the Royal Guard. Nor did he accept that Julius was out of the matter. He chose to postpone it because Subaru mattered more at that moment.
Crusch looked at one of the documents.
—Does he remain a threat to Julius?
—As long as he remains beside Subaru, no.
—Afterward?
—I don't know.
Crusch did not ask for certainty Ferris did not possess.
—Did he accept your examination?
His ears moved.
—With almost no negotiation.
—He refused when you visited Mathers Manor.
—Before I finished asking.
—What changed?
—I forbade him from entering without an examination.
Crusch raised her eyes.
—You used access to Subaru.
—I established a security condition.
—Ferris.
He held her gaze.
—I knew he would accept.
—Did you endanger him?
—No. The examination was primarily magical and noninvasive. I made only one superficial cut.
—Why?
—To test his regeneration.
—Result?
Ferris looked at his own hand.
—The wound closed before the blood fell.
Crusch remained silent.
—I did not use healing magic —he added—. His body did it on its own.
—Visible cost?
—None I could measure from such a small injury.
—What did you find?
Ferris breathed.
—The responsible answer is that I cannot classify him.
—I didn't ask you to classify him.
—That is why I admire you so much.
Crusch waited.
Ferris abandoned the attempt to lighten the conversation.
—He has a functional Gate and an extraordinary reserve. I do not know what condition he was in before the recent modifications, so I cannot calculate how much it increased.
—Comparable to Emilia?
—The amount belongs to a similar category of abnormal reserves. His circulation does not work the same way.
—Continue.
—The horns are directly connected to his mana pathways.
—Like an Oni's?
—They absorb atmospheric mana in a similar way.
Ferris joined his hands.
—But they do not distribute it like those of a normal Oni. Part reinforces the body. Part returns to the Gate. Another portion feeds the structures in his back.
—The kagunes.
—That is what he calls them.
—What are they?
—Organic limbs.
—Materialized magic?
—Not only that.
Ferris searched for the words.
—They possess tissue, circulation, and independent responses. They are connected to his body, Gate, and horns. They are neither familiars nor external magical constructs.
—Do they respond to his will?
—Yes.
—Then they are controlled.
—They also react without a conscious command.
Crusch waited for the explanation.
—One followed my magic when I brought it close. The tip opened and displayed structures resembling teeth. Link stopped it before it touched anything.
—Did it try to attack you?
—I don't know whether "try" is the right word. It reacted.
—Instinct?
—That is what he claimed.
—Do you believe him?
—I believe Link distinguishes between his will and those structures' responses. I cannot know how much control he would retain under pressure.
Crusch looked toward the closed door.
—There was miasma in the reports.
—I found it.
—Contamination?
—Not like anything I can treat.
Ferris placed one palm against the desk.
—It is intertwined with the extensions. I found no external core, foreign curse, or anything I could remove without affecting his organism.
—It is part of him.
—Currently, yes.
—Did he explain the cause?
—He said it happened after prolonged exposure to Mabeasts and that Beatrice and Puck believe his body incorporated some of that energy.
—Does that match what you observed?
—Partly.
—Did he withhold information?
Ferris smiled faintly.
—He knows how to answer without lying while giving no more than necessary.
—Then yes.
—Probably.
Crusch picked up her pen but did not write.
—Does the curse exist?
—Yes.
—Describe it.
—Contact with the extensions can leave a mark on living beings or magical circuits. Link claims he can use it to drain mana and affect vitality.
—Did he demonstrate it?
—On a plant.
—Result?
—He applied a minimal mark, kept it inactive, then removed it.
—Completely?
—An almost imperceptible residue remained, but without activity.
Crusch considered the information.
—He can mark a person without chanting a spell.
—Apparently.
—Activate it afterward?
—I did not permit a ranged test inside the estate.
—Prudent.
—I like the mansion without unknown curses in it.
Crusch ignored the comment.
—Is he a Mabeast?
—I cannot say.
—Human?
—His anatomy is not completely human.
—Oni?
—The horns are not enough.
—A combination?
—That describes the result. It does not explain what he is.
Ferris moved his tail behind the chair.
—I can list the pieces. I cannot define the whole.
—Does he pose an immediate danger?
—During the examination, he followed every instruction. He retracted the horns and extension when asked. I found no contagious disease, active loss of control, or spreading curse.
—But.
—I don't trust something merely because it remains calm during an examination.
Crusch nodded.
—Can he stay here?
—Under conditions.
—Did he accept them?
—No extensions, no magic, no horns except in a genuine emergency, no touching animals or residents with those structures, and no leaving the estate to look for Julius.
—Did he accept the last one?
—As long as Subaru needs him to stay.
Crusch recognized the precision.
—He promised nothing beyond that.
—No.
—And you let him in?
—Yes.
—Why?
—Because refusing access would have increased the danger without providing any advantage.
Ferris rested his arms against the chair.
—With Subaru inside, Rem present, and clear conditions, Link has reasons to cooperate. Keeping him outside would have turned the door into the only obstacle between him and someone he considers family.
Crusch looked at the guards' report.
—A door does not sound like a sufficient obstacle.
—Exactly.
—What controls him?
Ferris raised his ears.
—I would not use that word.
—What influences his decisions?
—Subaru.
—And Rem?
—More than Subaru when he is agitated.
Crusch narrowed her eyes slightly.
—Explain.
—Seeing Subaru injured caused the reaction. Rem managed to redirect it.
Ferris remembered the hand on Link's cheek.
—He wanted to go to the castle. Rem asked him to stay. He did not obey because she was stronger or because she represented political authority.
—He did it because she matters to him.
—Yes.
—That creates a vulnerability.
—Also a barrier.
Ferris held Crusch's gaze.
—I would not recommend treating Rem as a means of controlling him.
—Naturally.
—Someone might think otherwise.
—They would be a fool.
Crusch rested her fingers against the desk.
—A person who discovers that those close to him were used does not become obedient. He becomes an enemy.
Ferris smiled.
—I knew you would understand.
—It is not a difficult matter.
—Roswaal might disagree.
—Roswaal believes surviving his own manipulation proves the plan was correct.
Ferris laughed softly.
—You should tell him that.
—I will when necessary.
Crusch returned to the report.
—Anything else?
Ferris thought of Link entering Subaru's room.
Of the hand over his chest.
Of the pallor in his face, different from the reaction toward Julius.
—During the examination, I found no immediate heart problems.
Crusch looked up.
—Why are you mentioning his heart?
—Because afterward I saw him put a hand over his chest.
—Pain?
—Rem noticed it too.
—Did you examine him?
—Not yet.
—Why?
—He was speaking with Subaru and then asked to remain with him. His pulse was normal during the earlier examination.
—That does not mean it still is.
—I know.
Crusch set down her pen.
—Examine him.
—I don't think I'll find a physical cause.
—Why?
—His expression.
—That is not medicine.
—Medicine begins by looking at the patient.
Ferris leaned back.
—He did not look as though he were suffering a bodily injury. He looked as though he had experienced something he could not explain.
Crusch remained silent.
—Related to Subaru?
—Probably.
—How?
—I don't know.
Ferris was precise.
—And I won't pretend that I do.
Crusch nodded.
—Do not pressure him inside Subaru's room.
—I'll speak with Rem first.
—Good.
Ferris stood.
—I'll assign adjoining rooms.
—Subaru will need supervision.
—Rem will stay with him.
—And Link?
Ferris smiled.
—I don't think we'll manage to get him very far away.
—Guards in the corridor.
—He might interpret that as provocation.
—Discreet guards.
—That works.
Crusch began writing.
—No one touches his belongings. No one performs another examination without consent.
—How considerate.
—Preventive.
—Naturally.
—The statue remains inactive.
Ferris blinked.
—What statue?
—A yellow creature stored with his luggage.
—It already has a name?
—Pikachu.
Ferris stared at her.
Crusch maintained a serious expression.
—The steward filed a report.
—What does it do?
—Nothing.
Ferris waited.
—Yet —Crusch added.
—This camp is going to become a headache.
—It already is.
Ferris walked toward the door.
—Ferris.
He stopped.
—Yes?
—How is Emilia?
His ears lowered.
—She returns tomorrow.
—I did not ask what she will do.
—Then you already know the answer.
Crusch held his gaze.
Ferris rested one hand against the handle.
—Subaru has wounds I can close. Emilia doesn't.
—And Link?
—He is sitting beside Subaru.
—That doesn't answer it either.
Ferris looked toward the corridor.
—I think he just discovered that there is something his strength cannot help him against.
—Loss?
—Perhaps.
—Guilt?
—That too.
Ferris opened the door.
—I'll try keeping them alive through the night.
—Do so.
—Good night, Crusch-sama.
—Good night, Ferris.
The door closed.
Crusch remained alone.
In front of her lay the reports from the Royal Selection, the duel, Subaru's medical condition, and observations about a person no healer could classify.
She picked up the document concerning Link.
Read the final lines written by Ferris:
Stable condition during examination.
Unknown capabilities do not necessarily equal hostility.
Current cooperation depends on personal circumstances, not institutional obedience.
Crusch set the sheet down.
On another floor, Subaru slept after destroying with words something he had protected with his body.
Rem prepared the medicine and waited for an explanation Link did not know how to give.
Link remained seated beside the bed, finally aware that the hand that had found his heart in the forest had not been an isolated attack.
The first time, he had been too far away to understand.
The second time, he had heard the words that summoned it.
Now he knew.
Whenever Subaru tried crossing that prohibition, both of them would pay the price.
And somewhere beyond the reach of Ferris, Crusch, and any healing magic, the shadow already knew the path to both hearts perfectly.