Ballona announced the next fighters, pulling both Arden and me to the center of the arena. It felt almost surreal to be down here, surrounded by the dust where I had watched so many other warriors fight. I glanced at the audience and noticed Casper sitting next to Arthur. The pup lay in the shorter man's lap, his body tense and eyes wide with unease. It was clear that he didn't like me being down here; I could tell he understood what was about to happen.
What surprised me was the presence of both Axel and Casey. The warrior with the afro was nestled close to Arthur, who appeared very tense, mumbling something and looking concerned. Axel sat on the other side, where I usually sit. He also looked worried, shifting in place while attempting to maintain a stoic expression.
Why did they look so concerned? Actually, everyone did.
No one had any faith in me; they knew I could feel pain and battled against the best warrior in all of Wonderland.
Yes, I guess it's understandable. Still hurt though.
Ballona called my attention back to Arden, where she stood towering over the blonde warrior. The goddess concluded her speech, pressing down on Arden's shoulders before leaning in closer. Maintaining a steady gaze on me, Ballona addressed the warrior.
"Do not lose against that small warrior. Got it?" Arden nodded, moving to push her hamlet down, with Ballona moved to give her room to breathe.
Obviously, she didn't care if I heard that or not; it seemed like she wanted me to, actually. It didn't scare me either way, but the haunting look Ballona had on me did make my wings quiver.
Thankfully, the towering goddess moved away to the stands where she usually stood to watch the fight.
I lowered my crowned helmet to protect my eyes. Arden got ready immediately, standing straight as her gaze shifted to the dirt, her Branchie tall and proud, pointing at me. I felt a sense of failure as I faced her, the sun glinting off my Branchie until one of us made the first move.
It happened suddenly. Arden launched forward, the Branchie clashing at her hips. I ran toward her, raising mine as soon as I saw the shining metal heading toward my head. I gripped my Branchie firmly, digging it into the ground as Arden struck down on me with tremendous force.
The sharp slice made me wince as she threw me off balance with a hard push. I raised my Pedal just as she came crashing down at lightning speed. I could barely catch my breath before she descended again with the Branchie. I felt my ankle twist from the painful thrust, gritting my teeth as I clutched my Pedal, which was now covered in cuts.
Arden gave me no time to regard her or even myself until she swung herself to my side swiftly. I caught the slight shimmer of her wings until her fist came crashing into my side.
My breath caught in my throat, and I staggered away from her. I coughed, breathing was gonna be a pain, and I knew right away I was gonna bruise from that crushing hit.
I could already tell that Arden was not going to go easy on me. That hit alone, with her wispy speed, was already an apparent motion.
I quickly moved my pinned hand away from my side when she lunged at me. I groaned as I put sudden weight on my ankle to bounce up and evade her hit. Arden guarded herself as I came crashing down. She caught me with her Pedal, launching me higher, while her wings cupped around me to propel me into the air.
To my surprise, she jumped up after me, her Pedal heading straight for me. I raised my own shield, feeling the force of our shields collide into my gut. I had expected her to pull out the Banshee to cut at me while my hands were guarded, but instead, she thrust my shield out of my grip.
I had no defense but my speed. She then thrusted the Branchie up at me, so I had to duck away with my wings swinging sideways. The angle was horrible, sending me crashing to the ground.
I bit my lip to suppress a cry as the pain burned deeper into my side. I grunted, trying to locate my pedal. Finally, I spotted it in the distance and quickly jumped up to wield it again. A yelp escaped me when I was struck from behind with a crushing wave of pain that slammed me directly into the nearby wall.
My body swayed from the force, but I refused to fall onto the ground and give up. My mind was slow, my vision even slower to catch onto the sight of Arden rushing forward.
My nails dug deeper into my covered skin, teeth deep into my lip, before I could make a move. When he was close enough, I ducked my wings and flew myself into the dirt. Just like I had expected, Arden hit the wall with the Branchie, the weapon getting stuck in the concrete due to her brute force.
I lifted my wings back up so I could jump a kick at her extended arm. It was hard, throwing her hand off the weapon still lodged in the arena.
Arden must have realized what was happening and decided to ignore her Branchie, opting to use the Pedal instead. I still had my Branchie to fend off the aggressive pushes from her Pedal, which was threatening to collide with me. I quickly turned around and swung my Branchie to strike the edges of the shield, successfully deflecting it away from the guarded warrior.
I could use that opening to throw a hit at Arden-
My thoughts were too late when Arden used her other hand that was empty to throw a hard punch into my gut. I let out a grunt, breath falling off my lips along with spit.
This time, I did hit the ground, sliding on top of my wings that felt crushed underneath me. I stayed there for a second, hacking out my insides in a desperate attempt to fucking breathe.
My hand came to clench onto my heart, and the burst of blood through my ears drummed. Tears formed in my eyes, they would spill at the drilling pain numbing my senses, running in circles inside my body that were strong enough to burn marks on top of my skin from the burning heat.
I could hear steps, none of them, along with the voice, which couldn't come into my senses as all I could do was breathe in and out painfully.
"Stay down, Vienna." A muffled voice broke through the haze. The slight brush of grass, hovering feathers brushed above my own. "Please."
I growled, throwing my hands out and smashing my fist right into Arden. The tall warrior, who was crouched down, stumbled back as my force knocked his helmet off.
He turned to face me, but I was already on top of him. I kicked straight into the center of his chest, sending him crashing onto his backside. It was merely a stun; there was no way it could keep him down, so I didn't wait for him to recover. I tightened my grip on the Branchie and threw it toward the hand connected to the Pedal, slashing away the connection. His hand jerked away, causing the Pedal to tumble from his grasp.
With my Branchie still in hand, pain thundering waves of nausea through my mind, I rushed forward. I shot right at her head, uncaring for any rule, as the warrior threw an armored hand to block the hit.
I kept going, swinging over and over again, nothing on my mind but murder.
Those grunts, those cries, those screams all felt like nothing to my ears. I fired away, shooting my marks as if they were objects, not living men.
Well, they're no longer living.
We had cleared out this half of the enemies, walking past the lifeless bodies of men who had fallen in the battle. They were empty shells, with nothing to see but blood smeared on their clothing. Suddenly, I heard a faint push, followed by a whimper, and then a cough. I stopped and forced pod six to turn in confusion.
I saw a man struggling, grunting as he held his hand over his shoulder, where a bullet was buried deep inside. I stared down at him with a steady glare, observing as he slowly reached for a dagger in front of him. I pressed my foot down on his hand, causing the man to yowl in pain.
"Vi? Vi!" Dawson came over, motioning for the team to pass through the area of dead men quickly. He called for me, "Come on, we don't have time for this!"
"It'll be quick." My voice didn't sound like my own; it sounded strong yet empty. My own hand emerged from a pocket, a gleaming, rusty knife as I flipped the helpless enemy onto his back. He held a hand out, face shadowed inside my mind as I threw it down directly into his skull.
The sound could almost echo, the sliding of flesh and bones, until the pitiful sobs of the man ceased.
It had ended, it was over, he was dead-
Why did I keep going? The assault was ruthless, over and over again until the blood seeped into my skin, through my clothes, along my skin-
"Vienna!" A hand pulled me away, throwing my eyes back to the man staring into my eyes. I let my tense shoulders fall, mind going blank, huffs of distress, while the lieutenant regarded me. "He's already dead." He pulled the weapon from my hand, "Get a grip."
I huffed, moving away from the concerned hand, trying to brush the blood from my cheeks. "Whatever." I pushed past him, unable to feel bad.
The memories of what happened back at base, what Dawson had said.
"Hey, Vi, what's going on with you?" He held my hand, pulling me back towards him, back to meet his concerned gaze.
I turned down, feeling like I would rather look at the dead man than him. "Nothing, let's just get going."
He let me break free, deciding to leave it at that. A small part of me wished he would chase after me, ask more questions, and show concern for me, but another part felt angry and hurt by something I knew might not even be true.
When we rejoined the team, a hand on my shoulder nearly made me jump, but I knew it was my lieutenant. "We're going to talk about this later, okay?"
I gulped, wiping the blood from my hand into the jeans. "Sure.."
I could feel his eyes, feel all of their eyes falling on me before we went on. I don't understand. If I didn't kill that guy, he would have suffered even more. Do none of them know that?
I had to do that, I had to kill him or else it would have been worse.
Every time my eyes closed, blood appeared beneath my skin, behind my eyes. I couldn't escape death, the pain, so why not just welcome it?
I could control this. I could control the shaking in my hands and the deep, painful breaths I had to force.
The only thing I couldn't control was the blood, the flashbacks.
I tightened a grip on my Branchie, letting out a yell as I thrashed it right for her face. The warrior moved out of the way, the Branchie coming up to cut along her cheek, slicing through her hair.
Audible shocked gasps, whispers of the other warriors. Arden grunted, quickly moving to touch her face to see any blood. She didn't bleed; she couldn't.
She was distracted, so I came running back with blood rushing through my vision.
I needed to halt my attacks. With my uncoordinated strikes, I was teetering on the edge of losing control, targeting her relentlessly. Arden was at a disadvantage; she could only rely on her armored arms to deflect my blows. The Branchie kept hitting her armor in rapid succession, forcing her to repeat the same defensive motion over and over again.
I could feel the tingling in my muscles, and the soreness from my injuries was beginning to blossom into bruises. I had to stop myself, to rein in my emotions as Janus had advised. All I needed to do was take a moment to breathe and regain control.
Why couldn't I? It hurt to swing the Branchie down quickly, the harsh sound of metal scraping against itself before Arden could whip back and raise another hand for defense. My feet dug into the dirt, and I bit my lip hard enough to make it bleed. But I did not let up, despite the throbbing pain in my side, the burning sensation in my ankle, or the blurs of motion in my vision.
I could hear her grunting, bright blue eyes spiraling back up at me.
With a last pounce, I clashed with her, leveling my eyes at the strong warrior. Her arms went up wildly to push me off, to stop the attack. I watched her mouth open, but I heard no words.
"..."
With a whisper, I dug my Branchie closer, pushing her arm back down over her neck protectively. Eyes clashing with my own, mouth wide, sounds began to blur with one another.
"..."
Another whisper, closer this time, just right above my ear.
"Do it."
It was a deep, animalistic noise. A growl formed at the back of my throat as my vision blurry with blood. I was back there, trying to stop the man from slicing my neck open. I was back in that dream, drawing the blade along my wrists as the blood pooled beneath me. I was back in that field, digging the knife over and over again in his head, covering myself with his insides.
"Do it."
In one swift motion, I pulled the Branchie back, which clattered her armor piece to shreds. Raising, I kept firm eye contact with Arden's bloodshot eyes, staring in horrified awe up at me.
"Kill her, Vienna."
There was no mistaking it: right at the back of my ear, a presence pressed its nails into my shoulders, digging into my skin. I could have screamed from the pain, but my rage was too overwhelming, too consuming for me to stop it. I didn't want to let it happen; I didn't like the frightened look on my own face or the pounding of my heart in my ears.
But there was so much blood. I had no choice; the red overlayered everything I had known to be true. I wasn't who I was. An angel?
What a fucking joke.
The haze of blood filled my senses, my veins felt ready to burst through my skin, and a deep-seated rage built higher and higher in my chest. Even the animalistic voice from beyond faded away. The haze lifted, and I was suddenly aware of the pain—a brutal, deep punch right into my side that knocked the breath out of me.
I crashed onto my other side, rolling over and losing my grip on the Branchie. A gasp escaped my lips as I struggled to breathe, my hands clutching my stomach tightly. With my eyes squeezed shut, tears streamed down my face as I sensed a lightning flash of yellow rushing toward me. I felt helpless, my feet trembling, my eyes wide open when a hand covered my entire neck.
I choked, kicking desperately before I was pushed even further into the dust below me. I gasped, finally moving my hands from my stomach up to the hand that held me there.
No armor, just the bare flesh flushed against my own covered hand. Behind my layer of tears, I saw her eyes.
Who could not see the bright gleam of blue? It looked bloodshot, shocking iris shaking against the blue that held it from behind. I choked, trying to claw out of her grip, but it was vice-like and strong.
Even when I tried to kick, she only dug me further into the dirt. Her hand was huge as it covered my unprotected neck. I must have lost my helmet in the frenzy since I could see her unmistakable emotions blaring bright and strong. It was as strong as her grip; I could swear she was holding me even tighter.
I could no longer kick; I could only rasp out a few breaths, eyes rolling into the back of my head as the sun grew even brighter.
The haze had broken, and I was no longer above. I was under, digging into the dirt with my blurry hands, unable to fight it off. My grip climbed over it, and my face flushed a desperate red when no air came to me.
I let the blinding lights grow, finally giving in to the suffocation to close my eyes.
"Enough."
Had I heard it right? Or was that another voice coming in to surprise me? To fester with my rage and help let it grow?
My questions were answered when the hand finally released its grip on my neck. I gasped for breath, coughing violently as the crisp, stinging air filled my lungs. I turned to my side, trying to push through the discomfort in my ribcage as I inhaled deeply. I needed air; the burning pain could wait.
Both of my sides were surely bruised, soft scatters of cuts along my face stung meekly compared to the rest of my body that screamed with every move.
"Arden, check on her, will you?" This time, the voice was clear to me. I couldn't see her, but I could feel the strong and mighty presence of the Warrior Goddess. Her voice sounded almost sarcastic, uncaring of the world that I refused to see.
I was forced to see it when a surprisingly gentle hand came to push me over. I hissed through clenched teeth when my side went to the ground. Wounded and on my back, my eyes tried to make out the face above me.
I could almost throw up when I caught Arden's face inches from my own. It was too much work to throw up, and moving was just asking too much in general.
"Vienna? Hey, look at me." Arden placed a hand on my head. I hissed, glaring daggers at her. I would have expected it not to affect her, but nothing did when she frantically removed her hand from me, eyes wide as she stared at me. I stopped.
My breath came in short gasps, and it was humiliating to be stuck on the ground, feeling like I was running out of air. I pushed myself up, receiving no help from the warrior who was now staring down at me. I didn't bother to see her expression, but I couldn't help but wonder how I had managed to scare her.
Arden, scared? That made no sense.
"Arden, hon, are you okay?" Apollonia was beside the taller one, her hand gentle on her back before she cast a glance down at me. "Vienna?"
I grunted and rolled my eyes as I tried to stand. I hissed loudly, letting out a pained cry as my wings flapped wildly. Thunder rumbled, making my entire body vibrate with the intense pain that seemed boundless. It felt as if I had been crushed, and everything inside me was splintering, poking through my skin from the inside.
Both sides of my body, including my ankle, face, and neck, hurt. They worked together to cloud my throat and stop my breathing.
I could only lift a hand out, trying to grab onto anything, anyone to stop myself from falling, but I caught nothing but the wind. Thankfully, something caught me from behind before I could crash into the floor. I let out a pained moan, legs shaking beneath my grip on the fur from the creature who caught me.
Breathing heavily, I caught a glimpse of Casper. The pup had grown significantly since I last saw him. He curled his large body around me protectively, allowing me to lean into him instead of falling to the ground. I exhaled, feeling utterly exhausted.
I doubted I could even catch sleep with all this pain; it was so uncomfortable, I knew better than to think I could sleep at all.
Casper whined, but I gave no mind to it.
I felt his wings curl around me, gently pushing me closer onto his back. Now I understand, even though I could barely do so without crying. Goddess— I was already sobbing like a reckless weakling!
In the end, I couldn't find the strength to lift myself up onto him. I fell back, tumbling before crashing my knees into the ground. Casper whined, leaning down to sit behind me for support. I wanted to thank him, cuddling into his fur, feeling the warmth that was soothing against my bruised skin.
My armor was getting very stuffy and annoying. I wanted to take it off, to just block out all this light, all those voices-
Everything…