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DATE: 3rd of May, the 70th year after the Coronation
LOCATION: Concord Metropolis
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It has been more than 17 days since UltraMan died. I overheard Alice talking on the phone that his cousin is having a hard time keeping the volatile factions of Concord in check. SuperiorWoman can never replace him, firstly because she is much weaker and secondly because her name is horrible. I can't see anyone respecting her with such a title.
For the rest of the week I went on to prepare for the celebration. I mostly did manual labor. Surprisingly, Mr. Perfect is horrible at electrical work so I had to do all of that myself. The school's administrator is away to see his family in Zahar, a nation east of Ventia, opposite the green sea. I suppose this means that Yonezu was the one at the conference. I always forget their backstories.
Alice doesn't really leave her room anymore. She seems stressed out, though I am not sure what is on her mind. Only a week to lose her grip on life? I fear for her sanity, or lack thereof.
Just as I expected, there is no difference in my capacity for perceiving slowed time. I still have some vials, though I am not sure if I should just stop and keep them in case of danger.
I took one before the festivities started. From my experience, these kinds of occasions usually spell trouble. I fear I'll get addicted to this substance if I don't stop taking it. The professor assured me in an email that this wouldn't be the case, but I can't really trust him.
Then I thought about it. Could I be in pain from the drugs and not the effect that comes with them? I didn't think about it but I still consume drugs to use this quirk. Actual drugs. Maybe I'm too messed up to even feel their effects.
The teachers don't hate me anymore, it seems like 'the detention' and 'helping out' did their thing and now I am back at the 'great guy' status. I heard Mr. Perfect call me hardworking and honest, something I never expected. Only the math teacher, a fat wench I always forget the name of, keeps her distance from me, but she does this with everyone.
Her ability is inflation, deflation. I heard she can even deflect bullets. I have no idea why she keeps it on all the time. I heard she's supposed to be the skinnest one around here as she doesn't eat anything out of paranoia. I suppose this is one of those cases where the ability breaks the user.
What kind of trauma could have made her like this?
Alice says that the math teacher has a soft heart and that she inspired her to take care of herself, and I can see that, though not in the way she probably intended.
Speaking of Alice, she also started to avoid me since I was harsh with her yesterday. I had just gotten out of a bad headache and she was pestering me about her useless banter when I snapped and told her to let me be alone. She apparently took it personally.
She seemed sad when our eyes met. Is she starting to grieve?
Silvia and her crew also stopped what they were doing. Whether it was because they feared me or were just waiting for me to leave, it didn't matter.
The festivities were starting quite late, at about 7, while the students were studying either in their rooms or the library.
I was concerned they would put me on guard duty there, but the math teacher offered to take the job. Didn't expect her to do me any favors.
Zilliam Crimson brought a hero performer and his friends. I think he goes by the pseudonym of Violinist. I listened to their practice while setting up the lights, and he is quite proficient at the instrument. Though I never heard of him as a hero. What does he do? Entertain robbers until the militia arrives?
In any case, when the celebration started I was basically free. It was a normal party all in all. No drinking, but that was expected. I took 'my' camera with me as Alice may become suspicious if she sees me ignoring it for so long. I haven't even opened it these past weeks. I am not sure if I was supposed to see it as a stark reminder of my past, but I probably should not. If I were to fixate on everything I did or was done to me I would become just like Alice.
Speaking of her, the girl wasn't anywhere to be seen. All teachers were supposed to attend this party so that was strange. Zilliam was also looking around. Was it for the missing girl? She approached me upon seeing my costumed figure. I had the polka dot shirt on as the others were in need of cleaning. I look like a clown....
"William, have you perhaps seen Alice?"
"No? What is the matter? Did something happen to her?"
"She has been feeling lost recently.... I fear.... No, never mind." I was there, frozen. It took all my conscious efforts not to laugh, but internally I was a volcano.
This loser is suicidal? What did UltraMan teach her if his apprentice wants to commit suicide two weeks after he dies? Is he insane? Did he create a cult? I don't get it. And still, I couldn't just leave her alone. The professor wouldn't forgive me.
"Then I'll go look for her. Alice must have gotten… lost." Of course, that was a lie. If all else fails I'll just run away, but I couldn't have Alice mention me in a suicide letter. Not even as a thank you, or 'remember me'. I must find and destroy it.
Only after I exited the building did I realize that I had no idea where she could have gone. Sure, Alice said she loves the library, but that isn't really a good place to take your life, now is it? Then I thought about her room. Too obvious, but I should check it. It was a good first place to see. While walking towards the dorms I got an idea of where she could be.
But forget about it. Nah. She couldn't be so corny.
In front of her door, I remembered I never entered the place she rested in. Not that it mattered, the door was locked. I called Alice while outside, but no one responded. This would normally be very problematic, as stress induces mistakes, and normal heroes would try to break the door, but I don't have such strength. I went to my room to get some pins and started to open the lock. It took me a solid ten minutes on this beginner-level lock. I admit I am not the best thief, but that isn't really my job, is it? Additional proficiencies should be a plus, even if mediocre.
Anyhow, I opened the door yet no one was inside. A wave of stale air hit me—damp, heavy, and tinged with a sharp mustiness that suggested the windows hadn't been opened in a while. The room was dim, with the blinds pulled down, casting an oppressive gloom over everything. A pile of crumpled papers lay abandoned near a small, cluttered desk, their edges curling as if they'd been discarded in a fit of frustration.
Books, many of them open, were scattered across the floor, and a half-empty bottle of wine rested precariously on the nightstand, surrounded by empty pill blister packs. The bed was unmade, sheets twisted as if she had tossed and turned in fitful sleep, or perhaps stayed awake through countless nights. The walls were bare, save for one small picture frame that lay face down on a dresser, forgotten like everything else in this room.
In the silence, the space felt suffocating, as though it had absorbed all the despair that once filled it. There was no sign of her, but the room spoke in her absence—the haunting, chaotic remnants of someone teetering on the edge.
Overall I didn't take her for such a disorganized individual. My room is tidy all the time, a minimalistic kind of clean. The complete opposite.
In any case, if the girl wasn't here then it was either the library or.... No.... She couldn't be so cringe. So cliche. No, what am I talking about? This is exactly how this woman operates. As if she is a character in a book.
The obvious, moronic location where I feared she was: on the main building's roof, overlooking the gymnasium where the party was. I found Alice lined at the edge of the roof, hiding in the night's shadows. I could see her boots lined against the ledge with a letter. How can she be such an imbecile? Was she supposed to be turned to paste by hitting the ground from the third floor?... Judging by her strength that was impossible. She would break her legs and die squirming around while stabbed by her own broken bones. I am sure of it. Who commits suicide in such a brainless way? Only she was capable of it.
If she wants to commit suicide, she should slit her throat with a blade strong enough to do it in one slice. Or perhaps an overdose. Not this...
"Alice, what are you doing here!" I faked concern, but it was really hard. I found this whole situation so absurd, it was almost comical.
Now noticing me in the distance, approaching, she trembled before calling me out.
"Will?! Are you there? Stop, or, or I'll jump!" I was so flabbergasted. If her goal was to jump, then why even bother hesitating? It was clear she wanted to talk, otherwise she would have committed to the act. I am disgusted with such selfish behavior. Was I supposed to beg her to stop, to say that I'll be there for her, blah blah... I say that but I don't really know how to get out of this without playing into her fantasy.
"There's no need to do this." It was too late for me to just take the letter. I can't dispose of it before someone like Mr. Perfect comes and sees me in the act. Was this some sort of check move, you witch?
"I... I just can't anymore... I know it's foolish, I tell myself Kevin will come back..."
"But he won't." It was very hard to act like I was serious. I had to fight off a terrible grin. I think my cringing face was visible.
"I know! I know dammit! It's just, how can I live in a world without him? What will happen to Concord without his guidance?" Despite knowing I can't beat her physically, my fist still clenched tightly. You bitch. What do you mean what will happen? You were supposed to take care of this very future. Cry me a river.
I couldn't just let her be this entitled. Who does she see herself as?
"Aren't you his apprentice? You are a part of his legacy. How could you ever do this to... my cousin?" Alice didn't respond. She was glancing at the gymnasium, as if reminiscing about her own past. Get over it, hussy. You have barely exited college a few years ago. What do you know about life? Eventually she found the courage to respond.
"I... don't have your determination. I... never told you, huh. I was sheltered all my life, more so imprisoned in my room. I wanted to escape, to show my creativity, but now that I did.... The world is so scary. I... don't know how to deal with it." Yeah, I can tell that much. It wasn't really a surprise.
"You can be a great hero, I know you can."
"And why can't you?" I said as I got closer. "When Kevin chose you as his apprentice, he must have seen something. How can you know you are a failure?" You dragged me here and then want to quit? Fuck no.
"You said you are always here for me. Well I am here for you too. Talk to me."
I could hear her whimpering as I was almost 5 meters away.
"I thought... I thought you didn't want to see me." Yeah I don't. What can I do now though? Damn it all. I should have stayed at the party.
"Alice. Look at me. You are not useless." By now I could hear her cry.
"I... don't...."
"Come here Alice."
I could see her wanting to turn, but she didn't realize she was currently on a ledge, so she lost her balance and started to fall. I can't believe how terrifying that was. Even I got scared. As if.
Then everything slowed to a crawl.
Oh yeah. I am on drugs!
It was strange to see this situation in hindsight. Why did I even bother looking for her? I could have very well stood there, being laughed at for my terrible shirt and been fine. Yet here I was risking my life to save a hero. Was it some sort of remorse for what I did to UltraMan? Pathetic.
I supported my knees by the edge of the roof and grabbed her hand. Unlike with my cocaine, I didn't have much time to think in this slowed sense. Then I let the oxygen out of my system.
She was surprisingly light. I have no idea how her body works.
I pulled her up, and she curled in a ball on my lap. There wasn't really any response I could logically make besides giving her a hug. We stayed like this for a while, embraced in each other's arms.
As I looked up, the night sky felt almost unreal in its beauty—vast, infinite, and filled with a serene calm that contrasted sharply with the turmoil moments before. The deep indigo stretched endlessly, dotted with stars that seemed brighter, almost pulsing with life against the velvet backdrop.
The moon hung full and luminous, casting a soft glow that bathed everything in a gentle silver light, as though nature itself was offering a silent reassurance. Wisps of clouds drifted lazily across the sky, glowing faintly in the moonlight, while the stars twinkled like distant promises, each one a pinprick of hope in the dark expanse.
The air was cool and crisp, carrying the faint scent of the summer pollution, of sand and the distant hum of the city surrounding us, muted by the stillness of the night. It was the kind of sky that makes you feel small but not insignificant—a reminder that even in the darkest moments, there's a vast world above, steady and constant, filled with quiet beauty. And tonight, that sky felt like a gift, a quiet blessing after the chaos, as if it, too, was grateful that one more life remained to see it.
Such a beautiful night, and I had to share it with her? What a shame.
Someone with a weak heart may pity her. Having a girl pressed against your chest, hugging you tightly may seem to some like an enviable phenomenon, but those kinds of people are driven by emotion. No, better said that they are driven by their libido. Judging this situation in hindsight she was an extremely foolish, childish woman, undeserving of so much attention from UltraMan. It is unbecoming of a hero to act like this. How could she even be called one?
I got so bored I started counting, but by the twentieth minute my nerves were reaching their limit. I tapped her shoulder and suggested we return to the dorm. Being mentally tired, I was forced to carry her on my back to her room, only to realize that it wouldn't be good to sleep in hers.
An environment so messy would only remind her of her outbreak so I decided to take her into mine. She was very embarrassed when we got inside, and was blushing horribly while I let her on my bed. I don't know why though. Then I remembered Zilliam was the one concerned for her. I told Alice to go to sleep while I was explaining to the Dean what happened.
Zilliam was very happy to hear the news and gave me the key to another room, but I didn't use it.
I had another thing on my mind.
If cocaine makes time slow down, most other drugs only provide a weaker effect of that. But I didn't try all of them.
I never overloaded on multiple chemicals out of a safety choice, but it was clearly the moment that I should give up and try some of them. The first was caffeine. I could try drinking multiple energy drinks, but I'd need to get close to death to get any effects, and drinking twenty cans would be a pain.
Emboldened by the effects of the professor's super cocaine, I went into the night to find a pharmacy. After all, I still had some cash on hand.
As I stepped away from the guarded walls of the Academy, the world outside felt distant, detached, like a blurry memory. The cool air brushed against my skin, but it barely registered—my senses were dulled, wrapped in a strange haze, yet heightened, as if I could feel every strand of air grazing against my skin. It was a very strange sensation.
The suburban streets, usually quiet and familiar, now seemed foreign and stretched, as if they belonged to some endless, shadowy dream. They reminded me of the void, yet they were too detailed to be a scheme of my father's. Streetlights flickered overhead, casting pale, sickly halos that distorted the pavement below, warping the edges of my vision.
Each step felt slow, almost weightless, as though I was floating just above the ground, gliding through the dark like a ghost. The houses, with their neat lawns and closed blinds, seemed lifeless, as if the entire world had gone to sleep without me. I passed by parked cars, their cold metal surfaces reflecting distorted images of the night, and I caught glimpses of myself in passing windows—an unrecognizable figure, distant and hollow. And yet still in that horrendous shirt!
Sounds reached me in strange ways—muffled and distant, yet sharp when they broke through. A dog barking somewhere down the street seemed both close and far away, and the faint hum of a passing car felt like it was vibrating through my entire body, a low, persistent buzz.
My thoughts were scattered, slipping through my mind like water through fingers. Time felt loose, elastic, stretching and contracting without meaning. The familiar landmarks of the suburb—the corner store, the park, the rows of identical houses—blurred together, becoming part of the same surreal, empty landscape. Everything seemed both significant and meaningless at once, as though the streets I wandered were infinite, leading nowhere in particular. What the hell did the professor give me?
And how did I not recognize these effects sooner?
I had no internet on my phone, so far away from the dorms, and I also wasn't conscious enough to read any signs.
I didn't think it would be a good idea to overdose on two substances at the same time.
But why wasn't anyone outside?
This is prime real estate in Concord, of all places. Something felt strange...
Then-
The soft chime of wedding bells drifted through the air, delicate and distant, carried by the breeze like a forgotten melody. At first, it was barely noticeable—just a faint ringing, almost blending with the wind. But as I paused and listened, the sound grew clearer, more defined, each peal distinct and reverberating gently through the quiet evening.
There was a peaceful rhythm to the bells, their echoes lingering in the air, soft yet persistent, like a heartbeat that pulsed through the distant streets. But at the same time they spoke of a horrible, distorted memory. I knew them...
It felt like a reminder of something terrible happening in the distance.
Closer.
They were coming closer.
This was horrible.
But I wouldn't run. Not anymore. Not while I had this power. Drugged out, with my senses dulled, I felt empowered. Or I didn't care.
Instead of running away I approached the source of that sound.
The air felt colder all of a sudden, and as I turned the corner, there she was—the figment of a young woman, standing still in the soft, strangely decolored light of the streetlights. Her wedding dress was impossibly white, shimmering with a faint, otherworldly light, the lace delicate and intricate, as if frozen in time. The veil hung loosely around her face, partially obscuring her features, but I could make out her pale skin, almost translucent, and eyes that seemed empty, yet filled with an unspeakable sorrow. Unspeakable hatred.
The gown flowed to the floor, trailing in soft, silent ripples as if caught in a gentle breeze, though the air around her was utterly still. Her hands hung by her sides, fragile, barely touching the fabric of her dress. There was something heart-wrenching in the way she stood, poised between this world and the next, as though waiting for something—or someone—that would never come. Waiting for me.
Her eyes locked onto mine, and for a moment, I was caught in her gaze, feeling the weight of years of loneliness and loss. Of my loneliness. She didn't move, didn't speak, yet the air was thick with her presence, as if the street itself was holding its breath. The silence around her was heavy, almost suffocating, broken only by the soft rustling of her veil as she shifted ever so slightly, a subtle reminder that she wasn't really here.
Yet I got closer. There was no reason to run. Not anymore.
Standing just two steps from her face, I could see the features I had forgotten for so much time. She was unchanged. Ever still, frozen in time. Just like myself. All that chatter from the other teachers made me think about my appearance. Why is it that a decade later I still look like I'm in my twenties? Just like her. Can trauma ever freeze your state? I never heard anything about something like this.
"You... are here..." Her voice was a strange mixture of static and what a secondhand experience of her voice would sound like. As if it was from a distance and would only be relative on a tangent to the woman I once loved.
"I thought it was time I end things. You seek me out all over the world yet we only really meet in nightmares. What did you want to say to me? Did you want to kill me? Punish me for what was done? So be it."
I raised my hands as if for an embrace yet I knew there wasn't any going to happen.
"I always hated the dismissive way you talk about everything... What do you know about life?!" As if you know about it.
She raised her hand, almost reaching my jaw.
"You deserve to die in pain for what you did.... But why would I even bother to hurt you? This life that you are living.... is just torture."
"Get on with it. What did you want to say?"
".... A miserable drug addict now, just like back then. When will you learn to let go of the past? But you know..... I.... I loved you." And with a blink she was gone. She, the bells, the distorted light; with a blink I was back in the suburbs. Surrounded by people.
Yet I felt alone.
Now seeing clearly, I quickly found a non-stop pharmacy. It was a brand I knew, Mathew's. He was a… hero? Even still, I couldn't stop thinking about what... she... said. What is this about not letting go of the past? She... is the one following me. Isn't that right?
Either way, I couldn't think straight that night so I let go of any lingering thoughts. I went inside the pharmacy and was greeted with the well-known slick style enforced by Mathew D.A. and his board. You'd think it was a skate shop rather than a place to buy medicine. There was an old lady at the counter who was nice enough to show my barely coherent self her strongest caffeine supplement. I like Mathew's because it is entirely unregulated so you can find things that are much stronger than the market should technically allow.
I am not sure how legal this is but Concord is not known for being the most honest city. Although I suppose that this is the exact thing UltraMan tried to change. She had some supplements with 7500 mg of caffeine per pill. I am not sure how that is possible, or who would even buy them except me, but hey, it spares me the trouble of searching. She said it was popular with students, but I can't believe that. Such a quantity is well within the lethal dose. I am not sure I should even take it but I can't really ask for my cash back from Mathew's. It's one of their policies.
Anyhow, I left the pharmacy and went on to take a little walk to clear my mind. This whole day felt so surreal.
While I was strolling in the general direction of the Academy, some rich kids started asking me about what obscure club I was coming out of. Considering how late it was and how faded I must have appeared, they probably thought I was at some secret party in the neighborhood. Technically I was.
They strangely didn't mention anything about my outfit. Am I the only one finding it weird? The teachers liked it but they are old so I didn't take their opinion into account. Is this style getting trendy again?
What kind of thoughts even are these after all that has happened?... The effects of the dose from the professor were starting to wear off and I felt very tired. I quickened my pace and went straight to the dorm. I heard some strange noises or chants but I didn't pay them any attention. They must have been from the drugs. Going into my room I remembered that Alice was sleeping there and I didn't feel like getting into the same bed with her.
I also didn't remember where the extra room key I got was, and the party had finished a long time ago so I couldn't really ask anyone.
There was the idea of sleeping in the lounge but I also didn't want the teachers to prank me when I got up in the morning. I remember hearing some of them used to do these kinds of things.
Regrettably, I got on the chair near the sleeping girl and closed my eyes.
That remainder of the night I slept strangely well. I felt a hand on my shoulder, tapping it, but I was too tired to open my eyes, and my ears went deaf. I wonder who that was.
I suppose it is a question for tomorrow.