The garden Izumi eventually leads me to is somewhat out of the way. Rather than another open square inside of the building complex, she led me down a small branching path somewhere between the main complex we were assigned to and the complex the court nobles seem to be staying at.
Our approach is marked with silence, as Izumi seems to have had something on her mind since the sakura trees. I don't know if it's about my camera or something else, but I figure that if I can't figure it out by the end of this meeting then I can always ask at some point in the future.
The dirt path leads into a small grove of trees, and I feel the distinct feeling of a Barrier brushing over my skin like water as we pass through. I find myself rather impressed, because I didn't even notice the Barrier until I felt it wash over me.
From only the brief feel of it gliding over my skin, I'm hardly able to decipher it entirely. All that I'm really able to tell is that it feels mostly like a privacy seal. All Sorcery has a 'feel' to it. A texture, a smell, a vibe. The exact nuance of the feeling is subjective, as it is all about perception, which is inherently personal.
For me, I tend to feel Sorcery mostly in texture and colours, also smell sometimes. Not to say that those exact senses are what I am using to feel the Sorcery, just that they make good approximations for how said Sorcery feels in that ephemeral sixth sense we all have.
The point I'm getting at, is that it is possible to tell what a piece of Sorcery—such as a Barrier—does without putting any effort towards deciphering it. It's a small difference, but an important one.
The result is that I do not know the Script behind this Barrier and cannot reverse engineer it. The best I can do is try to invent something similar, but I won't have a template to work from.
Thus, I do not know anything about the specifics of what the Barrier does. All I know is that it 'feels' like it's related to privacy, like my silencing Spell. However, it also feels like it is far more complex than a simple silencing Spell.
The reason this is all important is simply because of the level of complexity I feel in the Barrier. It feels so advanced that I can only assume that the privacy goes far beyond preventing peepers and potentially into the realm of hiding from clairvoyance, or even more crazy stuff like precognition.
Or postcognition, I amend mentally. I can see why a political figure would take precautions against people looking for evidence or blackmail or whatever from the past.
Regardless, I would very much like to study this Barrier. So much so that I'm kind of hoping that this Grand Empress Dowager is going to ask something difficult of me so that I can make that my price.
Seriously, the Barrier built into this grove of trees might be the most complex I have ever seen. Besting even the giant one surrounding the entire Palace. That one is a lot simpler after all, only really concerning itself with defence.
Soon enough however, the grove opens up into a small clearing.
The clearing is only occupied by a small, fancy looking table in its centre with two seats on opposite sides. One already occupied by who can only be the Grand Empress Dowager in question, Shōshi-Heika.
It's kind of obvious with her clothes. She's wearing far too many layers to be comfortable, each artfully and neatly arranged and constructed of cloth that you just know is expensive from looking at it. Even beyond just her clothes and makeup, her entire bearing is almost regal. Like she is the one that owns air and is only allowing us to breathe it.
It's kind of cool honestly. I want to take her picture.
Behind Shōshi-Heika's shoulder stands one of her Ladies in Waiting, who seems to also hold the position of guard, much like Izumi next to me. Behind them both is a solitary tree, spaced a good distance from the rest of the parted grove in order to shade the table.
On the other side, our right upon entering, a crystal clear lake sits behind the empty chair. I spy a couple of koi fish swimming around in there an resolve myself to snap a picture of that too before I leave.
I am going to collect so many pictures so quickly.
I'd do it now, but that would probably be too rude to do in front of someone so esteemed. Kamo-Sensei would definitely mock me if I got in trouble because of it. He's such an asshole.
Arriving beside the table under Izumi's lead, I bow as deeply as I can bring myself to—likely not deep enough to be proper—as Izumi announces us with a far deeper bow of her own.
"Shōshi-sama, by your will I present to you the Special Grade Jujutsu Sorcerer, Narauko-dono." Her piece said, Izumi moves further to stand at rest behind Lady Shōshi's other shoulder.
There's a brief moment of silence that almost turns awkward as I realise that I'm probably supposed to say something. Problem is that I don't know the upper class lingo, as it were. Am I supposed to be like 'Narauko greets the honoured Shōshi-Heika' or something? Like in the movies?
I don't know. Probably. Unfortunately, I panic a little bit about creating an awkward silence before I can properly consider that thought all the way through.
Thus resulting in me raising my hand in a two fingered—far too casual—greeting. "Yo, nice to meet you." Fuck. Uhhh, now the atmosphere is even more awkward damnit. Hastily, I add on to my sentence, "Uh, Shōshi-Heika?"
Nice save, idiot.
Luckily, they don't seem offended or anything. If anything, a sense of amusement fills the air, tinted with something else that I can't quite identify but could almost compare to... Melancholy? That's interesting.
"Be at ease, Narauko-kun," Lady Shōshi says, choosing to smile slightly in order to allay my concern, as I have no doubt that she has full control over her facial expressions. "This is not an official convention. I have long since moved past such severe business."
This place has some pretty serious privacy for a casual chat. Then again, if I were a politician with a super secret chamber of secret discussions, then it would make sense to visit it regularly for simple things such as morning tea. Otherwise everyone would know you're up to something any time you entered it.
She must have read something on my face as she continues, though her tone would make it seem as if she is simply giving voice to a passing thought. "I have always found myself fascinated by Sorcery, so it is only natural that I would deign to meet with such a promising young man as yourself, Special Grade upon registration. So please, join me."
On one hand, I feel like her words are true, but on the other I feel like they are also a disguise.
On this, it seems that movies are finally not lying to me. Politicians, or former politicians or whatever she would count as, really do say two things with every sentence. Living in the capital must be exhausting if you have to constantly analyse everyone's words every which way they could be interpreted.
I am struck by the brief but near certain realisation that Kamo-Sensei definitely talks to these people as ambiguously as possible. He'd do it just to fuck with them by making them look for hidden meaning to his words that isn't there. Kami he's such an asshole.
Shaking the thought away, I thank Lady Shōshi for the offer and accept it, dropping into the simple chair opposite her.
The table is not very large, making this meeting feel rather personal, which is likely as intentional as everything else around here. It also matches with her words of this being an unofficial meeting.
On the table is arrayed a selection of snack foods and a pot of tea that Lady Shōshi's as-of-yet-unnamed Lady in Waiting swiftly picks up and sets about pouring.
While her style of pouring the tea is certainly smooth and fancy and incredibly refined, she does not dally on it, which half surprises me. I remember hearing about tea ceremonies before in my last life and how they could last for hours, so I was kind of expecting—and somewhat looking forward—to have to sit through that.
However, I do also recall Kinoshita mentioning how tea only really spread from China to Japan around two centuries ago, so it's still somewhat new and has only recently—in the grand scheme of things—become popular.
So it's entirely possible that tea ceremonies simply haven't become a part of the local culture yet.
"Thank you," I nod to the Lady in Waiting as I pick up my cup of tea and take a sip. Lady Shōshi says nothing and my thanks goes largely ignored, which tells me that it was unnecessary. Not that that will stop me from being polite.
Lady Shōshi takes a sip of her own cup before speaking further. It makes me note how the tea pot has an inscription that I can feel Cursed Energy from that likely keeps the tea inside hot, but not so hot as to burn, thus removing the need to wait for the tea to cool before drinking. Neat.
"How are you finding the capital so far, Narauko-kun?"
I tilt my head at Lady Shōshi's question, curiously noticing a brief flicker of emotion pass her eyes at the gesture. Not that I could guess what that means.
"I am afraid that I do not have much to say, Shōshi-Heika. I have hardly had the time to explore, though I can at least say that what I have seen so far has been most wonderful."
We did just arrive last night after all.
Lady Shōshi raises a single, perfectly manicured eyebrow a fraction of an inch. She somehow manages to put an impressive amount of doubt in such a small gesture. It kind of makes me feel like I've ben caught with my hand in the proverbial cookie jar.
"Is that so?" She says in that kind of tone you use when you don't believe what you're saying. "My apologies then. I was under the impression that you had already made some time to explore, or was I mistaken?"
Hm. Okay.
My brief bout of concern quickly fades as I properly consider her words.
The immediate thought is that she is somehow aware of what I got up to last night with Tamamo, which would be pretty bad for Tamamo probably. What with her being a Yōkai in disguise, wearing the metaphorical skin of a noble-born.
I'd naturally be fine whatever happens.
However, I struggle to believe that some spy or ninja or whatever would have been able to escape both my and Tamamo's notice. That leaves the other, more likely option that Lady Shōshi merely sent someone to my room last night while I was out with Tamamo and made their own assumptions about my absence.
Understanding this, I merely give a somewhat sheepish smile at having been caught out and admit a portion of the truth.
"I truly have not had the time to explore yet. Since arriving yesterday I have only had the time to meet with an old friend before sleeping for the night." I shrug, though I keep the gesture minimal, because I'm somewhat sure that you're not supposed to be overly expressive in front of someone as politically high up as Lady Shōshi. "I was intending to do my exploring after the tournament is over. Or during, depending on how the timing of it all works out."
Lady Shōshi hums noncommittedly and takes another sip of her tea, so I mirror her and do so as well. As I do so, I notice how refined Lady Shōshi's drinking posture is compared to my own and briefly ponder how someone in my position should probably be a lot less casual than I am being.
She doesn't seem to mind though, so I'm not going to force myself. At least I'm not slouching. My father in this life taught me better. That being said, I imagine that another reason I stopped slouching was simply that in this life, I do not feel as though there are any chains weighing me down.
It's ironic in a sad sort of way that it took me literally dying to finally feel free.
"I see. In that case, I expect you will be pleased to learn that the inter-school competition will be held in two days' time." Once more, she seems to see something in my expression as she smiles lightly and continues, almost as if she can read my mind, "Big events like these never take place immediately after everyone arrives. It is courtesy to allow for a period of time wherein interested parties may take advantage of so many influential figures being gathered together to chat and form, or deepen existing ties."
"Ahhh, that makes sense." I kind of feel slightly self conscious when I answer, just because I am almost certain that I am speaking too casually. Oh well. "Thank you for letting me know. Kamo-Sensei likes to not tell me things because he thinks its funny to watch me stumble around."
Ah crap, saying his name just reminded me about the Binding Vow currently wrapped around my soul. I've still got to do that stupid dance.
Fucking Kamo.
Whatever, I'll just get it over with tonight.
"Hmm. I have heard of Kamo no Yasunori's recent eccentric attitude. Unfortunately, it has been quite some time since I have had the pleasure of his company. I do find myself rather perplexed at his rumoured attitude these days."
I tilt my head at Lady Shōshi's words. For some reason, I had never even considered that Kamo-Sensei would like.. know people. I kind of just assumed that Tengen was his only friend and that he was otherwise a loner that'd spent all his life holed up alone doing research.
Eager to get potential blackmail material on the asshole extraordinaire, I don't hesitate to dig for more information. Though I naturally remain polite. This is the Tai-Kōtaikōgō after all. I don't even have two names in my name.
"Oh? I have naturally not known Kamo-Sensei for long. If you would be willing to indulge my curiosity as to how he acted in his younger days, I would be most grateful."
"There is not much to say, I am afraid," Lady Shōshi admits with a sigh that almost sounds genuine. That I could even tell the sigh was performative makes me feel like there are some mind games going on right now that I am missing entirely. Immunity through stupidity is the name of the game! "While I have enjoyed many conversations with the man, we were not close in truth. Merely academics in the same field, so I cannot say much to his personality except that he was always respectful."
That doesn't fit at all with my image of Kamo-Sensei. Respectful? I can't even compute that. But I guess even Kamo-Sensei's attitude buckles under authority.
...That still doesn't feel right. Am I missing something? I feel like I'm missing something.
Kami, this is going to be one of those things, isn't it? Like when you're trying to remember a word but it never comes to you. Annoying.
"However," Lady Shōshi continues, causing my ears to perk up, "I believe that Akazome-chan here," her left hand moves to her side, palm up as if presenting the now named Lady, "Knew him better personally than I."
Following the unspoken prompt, Akazome takes half a step forward and bows politely my way.
"Akazome Emon," she introduces. Her voice isn't really friendly, but it's hardly rude either. Just professional really. "It is nice to be acquainted with you."
Naturally, I dip my head politely in return. "Narauko. Uh, Muji. Muji no Narauko, nice to meet you as well."
The three of them all seem amused by my introduction, though Akazome at least puts some effort into keeping her professional mask.
I was feeling left out, being the only one around without two names, so I used Muji, which means no Clan. When people, well, nobles, introduce themselves, it's normally something like Kiyohara no Nagiko. Meaning Nagiko of Clan Kiyohara.
So my introduction is just Narauko of no Clan, which is really no different to just saying my name by itself, but now I get two words like everyone else.
That being said, people like Akazome don't get the 'no' in the middle of their name because their name isn't a Clan name but a title. In this instance, her name means Akazome the Gatekeeper.
Following the thought, Izumi's name means something like 'Lady of the Secretariat from Izumi Province,' which is quite the mouthful for two words.
Akazome hums thoughtfully, pulling me from my etymological thoughts. "First, Muji-san," neither her tone nor expression fall from professional grace, but I feel like I am being teased regardless. "I will say that I was hardly close enough to be considered any such thing as a confidante of Yasunori's. There was a degree of separation to our interactions."
Seeing me not objecting, Akazome pauses for another moment of thought before continuing. Lady Shōshi simply sips on her tea like she is the only one in the room. I'm honestly a little bit envious of her grace. It's like the kind of thing you'd see described in a novel as too refined to describe with words, thus leaving you unable to imagine exactly how impressive it would look.
Good thing I have a camera then, so I don't have to worry about writing it down. It would sure suck to have to try and explain such levels of grace with words alone. I wouldn't even bother to try really.
"Kamo no Yasunori is a man I would best describe as 'fitting to his name'. He had the clan's typical arrogance." Akazome pauses, clearly recalling how I will not know what is typical of a Kamo or not and swiftly moves to explain. "The Kamo clan are the oldest clan behind the Imperial Yamato and the extinct Susa clan. With that history comes a certain arrogance that all Kamo tend to posses. It is subtle but distinctive enough that I am sure you will be able to notice it should you interact with more Kamos."
Ahh, so it's one of those things. The whole 'we have existed since before you were born and will continue to exist after you die' kind of deal. Personally, I think it's a little bit silly to put so much esteem on such things.
Like, revering your ancestors is great and all and being proud of their accomplishments and your relation to them is cool. But like... None of those accomplishments are yours. Do something impressive by yourself before being conceited.
"Beyond that, Yasunori was a stoic man. Contemplative, I would say. As an academic, he did not socialise overmuch, and was rather reserved the times that he did. He was considerate, as considerate as a noble can be anyway. If you are waiting to hear any 'fun' stories about him, then I can only disappoint as he was far too reserved to have ever acted out."
"That really does not fit with my image of him at all," I muse, feeling even more like there's something that I'm missing.
Akazome nods her head in acknowledgement. "Indeed. I have not met with the man in years, but from what I can gather, it seems as though Yasunori's personality experienced a somewhat dramatic realignment shortly after the birth of his granddaughter. I believe you know her, Kamo no Yasunori no Musume?"
"Sabishī," I confirm with a nod. Using her actual name because I find practice of naming women as literally just their father's daughter to be a little bit rude.
Akazome nods again, giving no hint as to her feelings of my minor 'correction' even though she's probably reading into it way too much. I can see why someone constantly surrounded by politics might take me saying Sabishī's name as some kind of soft 'attack' like I'm trying to push myself up by 'demanding' she change her form of address.
Political speak really must be exhausting to live with.
However, while she does not express any feelings on the matter, Akazome does change her form of address. Unfortunately, I have no idea what this means. Is it a subtle approval? Is she just humouring me? Am I being insulted? Does this mean that she believes my opinions are higher on the totem pole than hers? Me? A mere Muji of no renown.
Well, I guess being Special Grade might make me more important, politically speaking, than a Lady in Waiting?
I have no idea.
"Kamo no Sabishī," Akazome continues, "Was born under a Heavenly Restriction. Then, her parents later passed, following which Yasunori, her grandfather, adopted her as his daughter. I can only assume that Yasunori's change in attitude is a result of not only the deaths of his son and daughter-in-law but also the sad circumstance of his granddaughter."
"Hmm." That still doesn't feel right. I'm definitely missing something still, but I don't think anything will come of asking more here.
I mentally shrug the problem away. I'll just ask Kamo-Sensei later. It's not like I'm in one of those shitty drama shows where everyone comes to their own conclusions without bothering to try and communicate or confirm anything. It's kind of pointless to befriend someone if you're going to constantly be suspicious of them.
"Well, thank you for sharing, Akazome-san," I say after a moment, smiling up to the Lady in question. "While I was admittedly hoping to learn something embarrassing I could lord over my Sensei, I am still happy to learn more of him generally."
Akazome dips her head once more before taking another small step backwards to regain her spot behind Lady Shōshi's shoulder.
We return to our tea for a moment before Lady Shōshi raises a finger as if she had just recalled something. Once again, the gesture seems performative, but I'm still not sure what the purpose of that is.
"As we are already discussing others, I have a curiosity of my own that I would like to confer upon you, Muji-san." Lady Shōshi doesn't go so far as to smirk as she says my supposed name, but I feel the intent nonetheless.
I'm starting to regret saying that, I think, only really feeling amusement about it despite the negative thought.
"Ah, but of course," I naturally agree with a smile. "And please, Shōshi-Heika," I continue, "No need to be formal with me, just call me Narauko. I am not nobility after all."
"But of course, Narauko-kun." She seems amused still, but does humour me. I still find myself surprised at her attitude. It's not at all what I would have expected for one of her standing. "If you would not mind sharing, I would be interested to know of your own parentage. It is rare for a Sorcerer of your calibre to appear without a backer already laying claim to your talents. In fact, to my knowledge, there is only one Sorcerer who can truly claim to be neutral. A Special Grade like yourself."
Woah, I just got the craziest sense of déjà vu. Have I been in this place before?
I struggle to keep my face impassive as the song déjà vu from some old show one of my friends liked starts playing through my head. I'm honestly surprised I even remember the lyrics. Then again, my friend was a big fan and we'd sing it pretty loudly in his car together.
Shaking away the distracting memories, with some difficulty, I return to the conversation at hand.
"Unfortunately, there is not much that I can say on the subject," I admit, feeling like I've said these words before. And now the song is back in my head damnit! "I was left in a basket in front of a small Shrine as a babe. The kamunushi attending to the Shrine took me in and raised me. So while I do not know who sired or birthed me, as far as I am concerned, Kinoshita-kamunushi is my father and his late wife is my mother, even if I have never met her."
Lady Shōshi seems a little bit disappointed by my answer, but there's not really anything I can do about that.
"I see," she says at length. "And you know nothing of who your mother might be? By blood or this kamunushi's wife?"
"I am afraid not, Shōshi-Heika," I answer with a shake of the head. "Not even a name."
"Hmm. Unfortunate." I dip my head at the polite commiseration. "Then, to dispense with subtlety, how familiar are you with the name Murasaki Shikibu?"
I blink at the unexpected name drop, feeling a certain undercurrent of something stirring within me as I hear the name.
"Her again," I murmur thoughtlessly. I've been thinking about her on and off since Setsura brought her up. I don't really even know why. The thought of her is like a parasite. It just won't go away, leaving me full of feelings that I cannot decipher. The Curiosity has been killing me.
In the face of Lady Shōshi's inquisitive gaze, I expand on my murmured words, hoping that I might finally get some answers to my Curiosity.
"People seem to keep comparing me to her," I admit, watching for any reactions and failing to see any. "All I know is that she was an impressive Sorcerer, maybe even stronger than Michizane, and that she passed some years ago under mysterious circumstance. Could it be that I also remind you of her?"
Lady Shōshi doesn't respond beyond taking another refined sip of her tea. Akazome sets about refilling the cup after she puts it down.
"I took Murasaki in when she was young, alongside Akazome-chan and Izumi-chan." Lady Shōshi sounds oddly wistful as she informs me of this. "I had thought her lost to the world. Few know the cause of her disappearance, but I am naturally among those who know of her death. I taught Murasaki. Raised her. I can confidently say that I knew the girl better than anyone else alive or dead. So imagine my surprise when you fall from the sky, looking as she looked, speaking as she spoke, moving as she moved, all while possessing enough power to overturn the Realms of Man but none of the will to do so, just as she once did."
Lady Shōshi's eyes sharpen as they pin me in place and suddenly it is like she is an entirely different person. The casual air disappears entirely as I feel the full weight of someone who has clawed their way to power and ruthlessly held onto it for decades. It's compelling, to say the least, and has me straightening somewhat.
That old ice hag could learn a thing or two.
"Sorcery is an art predicated upon emptions. Feelings. I may lack the ability to practice Sorcery, but I trust my gut as well as any Sorcerer should regardless. My gut is telling me that you are connected to Murasaki. Either as her child, impossible as such should be, or as her reincarnation. I intend to learn the cause of this connection, and would appreciate if you would assist me in this."
It is blatantly clear that her 'request' is more of an order, but it's something I wanted to do anyway so I'm not going to make a fuss of it. Since she clearly expects me to go first, I don't bother trying to conceal anything as I say my piece.
"Of course," I amicably agree with a small nod. "I am Curious too. I do not have any real information I can provide on the matter though. All I can say is that I have similar suspicions of an existing connection. I felt.. I am not really too sure how to describe it, but I felt some manner of connection to the name once someone explained who she was to me. I do not know what it meant, but I felt sad. Like there was a void in my heart, as if I was missing something dear. If it turns out that she is, in fact my mother, then it would not surprise me overmuch, but it could be that I have simply inherited her Technique or something else equally estranged from the concept of familial bond. However, I can assure you with certainty that I am not Murasaki reborn."
Lady Shōshi listens intently as I speak, the only change in her expression being a slight raise of the brow at my finishing statement.
Lady Shōshi is thankfully fair enough to provide her share of information next, instead of moving straight to questioning me farther without providing anything herself like I was honestly expecting.
"A Sorcerer should trust their gut. If you felt a connection, then there likely exists one, which is promising." Even beneath her carefully controlled voice, I can feel something akin to hope growing within her, even if her voice and expression betrays nothing.
"As for inheriting her Technique, I can assure you that that is not the case. I highly doubt that a Technique as perverse as hers will ever again grace the hands of men. I will not deny the possibility that this connection you felt could have been something innocuous, but until proven otherwise, I am finding myself becoming further convinced that that aberrant brat somehow managed to con her way to motherhood. Now, I must ask how you can be certain that you are not Murasaki reborn? There is a precedent for such things happening."
I shrug. "I am certain because I possess memories of my previous life, and I was certainly a man then, too. My first memory in this life was seeing that Torii gate as a newborn." I can't believe that after all this time, I'm admitting this twice just this morning. Crazy. That being said, I'm obviously not going to give as many details here as I will share with Tamamo. "What was her Technique? And how come the idea of Murasaki having a child seems so difficult for you to believe?"
This is what I really want to know. The few times I've heard anyone talk about Murasaki Shikibu's strength as a Sorcerer, they have all painted a very high image of her. Lady Shōshi especially, going so far as to call it perverse.
The implication that I am hearing is that Murasaki' Innate Technique was even more overpowered than Michizane's Natural Order Manipulation or my own Ten Shadows.
Personally, I can't imagine any Techniques being better than my own, so it's got to be something cool.
All three of them are looking at me with varying degrees of—very slight—surprise. Likely at my admission of remembering my last life. However, they all seem to notice how I do not intend to talk further on the subject and do not ask, correctly assuming that I would have mentioned any details of my memories that could be relevant to the conversation.
"The reason behind my disbelief at the thought of Murasaki entering motherhood ties into her Innate Technique. Like little Sabishī, Murasaki-chan was born under a Heavenly Restriction. A Technique like hers certainly could not have come into existence without a price being paid." After almost muttering that last bit out, Lady Shōshi pauses there and spends a moment staring me in the eye.
An invisible weight falls over the clearing, as if the very world itself acknowledges the gravitas of what is about to be revealed.
Truthfully, while the atmosphere should have my back straightening and face hardening into a mask of severity.. The reality is that I fail to stop myself from smiling with excitement.
Somehow, Lady Shōshi seems to approve of my reaction, and proceeds to shake my worldview as a reward.
"Murasaki Shikibu is the Special Grade Sorcerer who was born with the Innate Technique; Wish Upon A Star." She reveals with all the hurry of a woman discussing the weather.
"With this Technique," she continues, "Murasaki could manifest Miracles. If she wished for something to be true, then it was. If she desired for something to not exist, then it would not. The Technique did not burn out on use. The Laws of reality did not defy her. She could erase a man so thoroughly that not even the memory of their existence would remain. Even written records of their existence would be erased. I myself only have a vague impression that there was once a man I knew that I cannot recall or find evidence of having existed. With her Technique, Murasaki's Wish became Reality."
.....Hah?
What the fuck?
What the actual fuck?
That's...
Isn't that just way too disgusting!?!
And there aren't limits??? Does that mean she could Wish to have my Ten Shadows!?!
"Yes." I blink in surprise as Lady Shōshi answers my thoughts. Can she actually read my mind? "I am not listening to your thoughts. Everyone has the same reaction when they learn of Murasaki's Technique. They always think some variation of 'Could she then Wish for this or that' and I am telling you, yes."
....I really don't want to admit that any Technique is better than my own.
I honestly do think that if given the option, I would still pick my own Technique, simply because Wish Upon A Star is too powerful, it would take all the fun away. But I'm not going to confuse preference with ability.
"That really is perverted..."
Izumi exhales an amused breath through her nose at my response, while Lady Shōshi merely smiles sympathetically, like she is used to this kind of response. Which she probably is. Akazome naturally remains stoic. A true professional, her.
"Normally, people feel fear alongside their shock or disgust when they learn of Murasaki-chan's Technique," Lady Shōshi says, bringing me back to the conversation at hand, even if a good portion of my mind is still trying and failing to process how such an unfair Technique could exist.
"Yes?" I trail off, wondering where she was going with that unfinished thought.
Her smile deepens and she leans forward ever so slightly. "Have you even realised that you are smiling?"
My eyes widen further as I bring a hand up to confirm that yes, I am indeed smiling. Almost painfully wide now that I've noticed it. My brain was still too busy processing this revelation to have even realised.
Seriously, it's way unfair. Wish granting? What the fuck!?! How does that even happen?! Did she eat a Kami's Soul while in the womb or some shit? The fuck??!
A disbelieving chuckle tears its way past my lips as I process enough of my shock to formulate my thoughts, condensed into a simple sentence.
"I wanna fight her~."
To my further surprise, Lady Shōshi actually laughs. It is a brief, humble thing, but it is a break from her iron tight control over her expressions that easily catches my attention.
"You are definitely her son," Lady Shōshi informs me. Looking deep into my eyes with absolute certainty in her conclusion, as well as what could almost be called affection. Like I passed some unknown test in her mind. "Murasaki-chan had the same reaction when she first heard of Sugawara no Michizane's Technique."
Ah, that explains that then.
I can believe that the possibility is high that I am her son, but I don't want to truly accept it as fact until I can be certain of it. So I don't share in Lady Shōshi's confidence.
The conversation pauses there as she gives me some time to process the absurdity that is Wish Upon A Star. Something I am grateful for, because I certainly need it.
I must have spent a solid twenty minutes just sitting there in silence, hundreds of thought chains passing through my mind at the, quite literally, unlimited possibilities inherent to such a Technique.
It's a real nuclear option.
Eventually, the conclusive thought I end on is actually surprisingly simple.
"How could she possibly die?"
Lady Shōshi seems rightfully amused by my question, but I have to wait for her to finish the small treat she started snacking on whilst I was lost in thought before getting a response.
Soon enough, she swallows her food and moves to enjoy another sip of tea, her movements entirely unhurried. Luckily, I'm not so impatient as to really be bothered about having to wait another minute for an answer.
"For an Innate Technique as perverse as Murasaki's," Lady Shōshi begins as if she is telling a story instead of answering a question. "There is naturally a price for its existence."
"So there are limitations?" I ask with a raised brow.
Lady Shōshi raises a single, aged finger into the air between us. "Just one."
A sigh leaves the elder woman as a nebulous sense of pity leaves her, mixed in with resignation and a good bit of spite. That I can even notice so much tells me that she is, for some reason, acting less reserved now than earlier.
If she considers Murasaki to be a daughter-like figure, then could it be that she is now viewing me as something of a grandson? I wouldn't want to make assumptions, but that's what it's feeling like.
"The Heavens can be cruel," she starts again, looking down into her tea. "Heavenly Restrictions are always an equal trade. The greater the boon, the greater the cost. The price for being born with Wish Upon A Star embedded into her Soul was both simple in nature and insidious in expression."
A slight sigh leaves her as her eyes return to lock with my own. Like ripping a Band-Aid off, she stops beating around the bush.
"In exchange for the ability to manifest Miracles and make any Wish come true, Murasaki was denied only one thing. The only thing that she ever truly desired, the one thing she truly wished for, beyond all hope. Motherhood."
Damn.
A pervasive sense of.. of grief suffuses me at the answer. It neatly explains why it is so difficult to believe that she successfully birthed me. The very Heavens forbade her.
Without realising it, my gaze finds itself drifting up to the sky and the beautiful sun shining up above.
Despite feeling reluctant to do so, as if just having the thought is a betrayal, I can't help but wonder if Amaterasu has any hand in Heavenly Restrictions.
I hope you don't. I truly, truly hope that you had no hand in this.
It's just too cruel. Cases like Sabishī I can accept. The trade is fair, in the end. Even through the pain her Heavenly Restriction has caused her, Sabishī can still find happiness.
"It is a fair trade, no?" Lady Shōshi says, seeming to sense my melancholy. "She could make any Wish come true except for the one thing that she wanted."
I'm honestly not so sure it is fair.
"Regardless," Lady Shōshi regains her previous posture, forcefully moving the conversation forward. "Murasaki-chan did not stay with me for long, not like these two did. She left to travel in search of a solution to her dilemma. Eventually, she chose a man to sire her child. A man called Minamoto no Tōru. She could not Wish to make her womb any less barren, so she instead Wished that this man's seed was potent enough to impregnate even a womb as barren as hers."
For just a second my churning emotions freeze as I blink in stupification at the sentence I just heard. Lady Shōshi continues regardless of my reaction.
"Unfortunately, the Heavens are not so easily defied. That child was stillborn, and Murasaki was left bedridden for the crime of trying to defy her Fate. Left dying to a wound not even she could fix."
I can feel Lady Shōshi's rage against the Heavens at the mere thought of what happened to Murasaki. I can't say I don't empathise.
"This however, is when details become scarce. All I know is that Tōru left Murasaki in the care of his old friend, one of your Sensei, Kiyohara no Motosuke. Meanwhile Tōru himself was forced to flee the capital for the crimes of bedding various men's wives."
Ah? Repeat that last bit?
She smiles at my expression. "Murasaki-chan was always a troublesome brat. She had a habit of bringing out the worst in everyone around her." No one could miss the 'subtle' glance sent Izumi's way. "Tōru was never an impressive man. A mediocre Sorcerer and only charismatic by virtue of his good looks, but he at least knew his place. Until Murasaki decided that he would be her man and started encouraging him to sleep around as if she wanted him to lay with every noble lady in the capital."
Lady Shōshi shakes her head with well worn exasperation, but I find myself frowning slightly, something she is quick to notice.
"Please do not insult the man who might be my father," I ask of her, as her tone was rather derisive when she spoke of him. "I know I am ignorant of a great many pertinent details, but it does not sit right with me to not say anything here."
She considers me for a long moment, and for a second I wonder if I have offended her. Eventually however, she reluctantly nods.
"I will admit to a negative bias regarding the man, but if that is your wish, then I shall speak no further of it." I notice the lack of apology, but pay it no mind. For someone like her, actual, real apologies are not something that are so easily given.
"Thank you."
She nods again before moving on. "In the end, Murasaki-chan was left bedridden while Tōru disappeared into the wind. That is as far as I am informed. However, Murasaki-chan did die. Even bedridden, she should have been able to keep going for a while longer. I never could fathom what the cause behind her final passing was. Now, however, I have a theory. One that can even be confirmed, at least to some degree."
If not for all the emotional whiplash I've been going through for the past half hour, I'd have probably made a Game Theory reference there. As it is, I simply nod my head and listen attentively.
"You mentioned that your first memory in this life was that of the Torii gate in front of your adoptive father's Shrine. However, if you were fully aware since birth, then would it not stand to reason that your first memory would involve your birth itself?"
That.. actually stumps me a little bit. I'd never thought about it because I just assumed that I was already at least a few days old by the time of my first memory.
"That is tough to say," I answer honestly. "It could have simply taken me some time to 'wake up'. Or perhaps it could have been the Shrine itself that woke me up. I still do not know why I remember."
"What if," Lady Shōshi begins, "You were never actually born, not in the traditional sense?"
My head tilts and a vague sound of confusion leaves my throat.
"Murasaki-chan died earlier than she should have. My theory is that she gambled on one last hope. A way for her deepest Wish to come true by working around her Heavenly Restriction instead of trying to force her way through it. By giving up all the life remaining within her body, she could have overpowered her Technique for one, incredibly ambitious Wish."
On the proverbial edge of my seat, I listen with great focus as she continues to narrate her theory.
"Instead of having a child in the traditional manner, what if she instead used her Technique to artificially create a body thick with her own blood. A baby that is not her child by dint of technicality alone. Then she could have plucked your Soul out of the cycle of Life and Death to place you within the body. Thus creating a child that was not borne of her in either body or spirit. The final step to my theory would be depositing your newborn flesh at the doorstep of Minamoto no Tōru, the man she chose to father her child."
On one hand, this sounds like a conspiracy theory, but on the other hand, I can't bring myself to disbelieve it. It's hard to really doubt anything when a Technique as disgustingly overpowered as Wish Upon A Star is a variable at play.
Lady Shōshi's words even bring back a certain memory of my death. Not the first one, but that time Inumaki-san killed me and Sukuna. I remember feeling something inexplicable. It felt like it was behind me while what I felt in front of me was what I now recognise was likely Yomi.
It felt like Balance. Like trying again. Like Second chances. But it also felt like a goodbye. Now, I can't help but wonder if what I felt was the Wheel of Samsara. The cycle of reincarnation itself.
It would make some sense. From what I have learned in this life, it seems that a deceased Soul falls into the authority of whatever Pantheon's Afterlife has authority over them. However, Souls that do not fall into an Afterlife enter into the cycle of reincarnation.
If my previous world truly was one without any Gods, and if the Wheel of Samsara is a multiversal entity.. Then it might not be infeasible for Murasaki's dying Wish to have reached beyond that boundary, pulling me into the sphere of the Shinto Pantheon and separating me from the cycle of reincarnation.
It's a lot of 'ifs', but the theory is convincing. It's certainly a better explanation than anything else I've been able to come up with.
"Is that not too extraordinary?" I eventually find myself asking, holding onto that shred of scepticality that the rational part of my mind still thinking off of the logic of my previous life desperately wants to hold on to.
"It is something she would do," Lady Shōshi immediately counters, and her tone is so full of certainty that I can't even bring myself to doubt her. "I would not be surprised if she even included Tōru's blood in your veins, as she did choose him to be the father of her child. It is also something that can be confirmed easily enough right now, at least to some degree."
"It can?"
"Indeed," she nods. "You need only ask your father if his name is truly Kinoshita, or if it is Minamoto no Tōru. You are the one who invented the Black Butterfly Technique. This should not be beyond you, no? There is also a Spell that can confirm a blood relation between two individuals up to three degrees of separation. This is not the first time a familial relation has needed confirming."
With everything going on, I didn't even think about that. I've naturally kept in touch with my father through weekly messages. Plus additional messages whenever something interesting enough to tell him about it happens.
Still, I feel slightly nervous at the prospect of asking him this. I never pressed him on his past or his late wife before, and I don't want to upset him.
At this point however, my Curiosity is burning too hot to allow me any real hesitation.
The Technique is quickly summoned without a word and I pour my Cursed Energy inside along with my thoughts.
Father, I am speaking with Grand Empress Dowager, Shōshi-Heika right now, and we have been talking about my parentage. I naturally explained that I knew little beyond the fact that you are my father, blood relation or no.
However, the conversation continued in an unexpected direction, and to summarise, Shōshi-Heika has concluded that I may actually be the child of a woman called Murasaki Shikibu and a man named Minamoto no Tōru by virtue of Lady Murasaki's Innate Technique. She also believes that you might in truth be Minamoto no Tōru.
So I must ask. Are you? Was Murasaki Shikibu your wife?
Whatever the truth is, you will always be my father, yet I cannot deny that it would bring me great joy to learn that I am your son by blood as well.
Please respond with haste, both because I am dying of Curiosity and because we probably should not keep Shōshi-Heika waiting.
I love you, and eagerly await your reply.
I will come visit once I am no longer occupied.
Love you again. See you soon.
I have naturally already told him about developing teleportation, even if I haven't had the time to visit him with it yet.
Message written, I let the Technique go and watch my Black Butterfly fall and disappear into my shadow with only a faint ripple.
Now, we wait.
///
A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
I really should have split this into 2 chapters since it's 8k long, but unfortunately for me, I am too considerate and don't wanna leave you blue balled like that.
Instead, I simply decided to end the chapter there, since everything that needs to be said has been said. All that's missing now is for Kinoshita to confirm or deny in his pov.
Hopefully the reveal was dramatic enough. I've been hyping Murasaki up literally since chapter 3, which is the first time she's mentioned. Her Technique is certainly as disgustingly overpowered as I have implied lmao, what do you think?
So yeah, idk if this reveal could have been done better or not. My mum said she liked how I revealed murasaki's technique when I read that part to her, but she's my mum so she's obviously gonna be supportive lmao.
So yeah, share your thoughts, I like hearing them! =3