The Slytherin girl nodded, and they walked to the classroom. They stopped for a second in the courtyard to see Longbottom getting into a fight with Malfoy because someone wanted his autograph or something. Harry didn't particularly care and just went to the classroom, leaving Lockhart to deal with the mess. It was his duty as a professor after all.
Harry sat next to Daphne and took out the books that he was forced to buy. Honestly, he wouldn't have touched them with a ten-foot pole. They were all seated until Lockhart came back with a red-faced Longbottom, who was glaring at the man's back. Well, it seems that Lockhart was very good and hitting his nerves.
When the whole class was seated, Lockhart cleared his throat loudly and silence fell. He reached forward, picked up Parvati Patil's copy of Travels with Trolls, and held it up to show his own, winking portrait on the front.
"Me," he said, pointing at it and winking as well. "Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!"
He waited for them to laugh; a few people smiled weakly. "I see you've all bought a complete set of my books — well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about — just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in —"
When he had handed out the test papers he returned to the front of the class and said, "You have thirty minutes — start —now!"
Harry looked down at his paper and read:
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favourite colour? What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?
And on it went to:
When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what would his ideal gift be?
Yeah, Harry wasn't reassured in the slightest. He would have laughed if it wasn't depressing. It seems that the stories were right and that Harry would have to deal with a fraud as a Defense professor.
He simply wrote whatever came into his mind first without really thinking about it. He already lost interest in the class. Fifteen minutes later, Lockhart collected their results and took a quick look at them. Of course, the man ruffled through the tests quickly before vanishing them with a wave of his wand like they were useless. Harry could tell that the spell was somewhat inefficient using his arcane hearing. It wasn't close to McGonagall or Flitwick's control, but it looked slightly better than the one from the seventh-year students he saw training for their NEWTs. It was an OWL spell, after all, but the wordless casting was somewhat impressive.
The man stood up suddenly with an intense look in his eyes, "What you've just shown me right now, is that you could memorize facts. It's nice and all, but what I don't understand is why you all kept reading the books when you realized that there were no spells in there and none of you questioned me about it. What I also don't understand is why none of you said anything about how romanticized everything was in there. Defence Against the Dark Arts is not pretty. When you're fighting dark creatures and dark wizards, you make mistakes, you get hurt, and you get a few people hurt, something that is oddly absent in my books. Because these books are made to entertain the masses, not to teach. At least, the version available to the public, that is."
Harry stiffened as the man kept speaking. What the actual fuck was going on? This was completely opposite to the stories. The Potter scion turned around and saw people watching him either in heartbreak or slight admiration.
The man played with his hair a bit and continued, "Which is why, the books I gave you are slightly different. As you probably know, buying a book with a Hogwarts letter entitles you to a discount on Flourish and Blotts. I asked them to set aside books for you that were slightly different."
The professor waved his wand and Harry could feel an enchantment being activated on the books, changing the content. He took a quick look and saw that each book was different. Not only did they contain the story, but there was a description of the spells used, how they were used, a comment on the tactics in each encounter, and most of all, it was real.
Again, this surprised the hell out of the young Slytherin. He hadn't really looked over the books. They often had enchantments to stop them from being copies and such. And Harry didn't really look that closely at Lockhart's books. He didn't even really read them, just skimmed them quickly for a couple of minutes. Still, he should have noted the difference.
"Now, you can start reading something a little more informative than the previous text. With that out of the way, let's get started with our lesson. And what better way to start than with a slight practical lesson? It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind! You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. All I ask is that you remain calm and not scream as it might provoke them."
As the whole class held its breath, Lockhart whipped off the cover. "Yes," he said dramatically. "Freshly caught Cornish pixies."
People started chuckling to which the man snorted, "You think this is funny then? Do you think that something looking as significant cannot hurt you? The magical world is full of hidden dangers. Now, let me show you how unprepared you are."
With a flick of his wand, the cage opened, and pandemonium followed.
.....
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