𝓒𝓪𝓼𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓻𝓪
The sun was ready to set at the Wall and Cassie was in the main hall watching it from the window. The rays of sunshine almost made her eyes water, but she couldn't take her sight away from it. When at twilight the sky was so clear it meant that the weather would be chilly, she liked that.
"Here," she looked up to see Jon Snow standing in front of her with a cup of warm milk "You always drink it, when you are tired," Cassie observed him for a moment before taking the wooden cup with her tattooed hand.
"Not that tired, but thank you," she said as he set in front of her quietly.
Since they had known about Ned Stark's injury, Cassie had trouble stay close to Jon. It was her uncle's fault if that happened.
Why would he do that?
Cassie had asked herself that hundreds of times. Jaime Lannister was surely the Kingslayer, but attacking a Lord Liege without motives could lead to war. What was happening in the South?
She had written to her mother to have some kind of information, but of course she never answered back. Cassie didn't even know what she was expecting.
"I received a letter," Jon said in the silence, it was early to dine and almost nobody was in the main hall. Cassie had finished her duties, so she decided to relax there and Jon must have thought the same.
"Did you?" she asked looking up at him. Jon nodded.
"It was about my Father," Cassie shivered. Ned's leg was injured and a horse had fell on him, she didn't know if she wanted to know what that letter meant, but she kept a straight face.
"He is standing, limping. But he will recover," he said with a small smile and Cassie found herself letting out a breath.
"We needed good news," she stated with a smile on her lips, looking down at her cup.
"I wonder what happened," Jon said looking out of the window.
"So do I," Cassie said.
If only someone would answer my letters, she thought almost unimpressed.
Stark didn't belong in the South, too honorable to be there. She felt uneasy thinking of them there, but there was nothing she could do. It wasn't her place. She could just trust Ned.
"The other day the others and me went outside, just riding," she rested her forehead on her first, looking at Jon, listening to him. It was strange for her, just a few months before, in Winterfell, it was her who could not stop talking to him, who looked at her, listening to her words. Not that she minded, it wasn't boring listening to Jon talking, sometimes, it even relaxed her.
"We went in the woods," he smiled looking down at his hands "Robb would have liked to ride there and Antea too," Cassie nodded her head, knowing that the two twins would have rode in those woods for hours.
"Do not forgot Greyjoy running after them to stay with Robb or to follow Antea with longing eyes," Jon laughed lightly.
"He would. Would he?" he asked making her smile wider.
"It had always been so," she laughed "His gaze would follow everywhere she went. I wonder how Robb would not see that."
Robb had always looked past the attention Theon gave to her sweet twin.
"You made me notice that, so it is possible," Jon remembered.
"Intuition had never been you and Robb best skill," she stated smiling at Jon. They looked at each other for a moment, remembering those days was pleasant. Cassie had always waited for the days she travelled South to spend even just a day with the Stark boys.
"I miss them," Jon said with a sad smile, making Cassie nod her head.
"And you?" she frowned a bit.
"Missing your siblings? Yes, sometimes," she shrugging her shoulders, looking away.
"No, I mean your family," said Jon curiously "Where you are from"
Cassie looked at him from the corner of her eye. She wasn't sure she missed her family or King's Landing... She was used at them being there and herself being at the Wall. She surely didn't miss Joff. As for her two little siblings, she didn't know. They never spent so much time together.
Bye, Cassie.
She remembered Tommen waving at her with that plump hand of his, it was the first time he had attended her departure. She had been surprised of that; his little smile and big green eyes.
But she really couldn't miss something that was never there.
"I'm used to the feeling," she answered. Jon just looked at her as she turned her gaze at people entering the room.
"Jon," Pyp entered the main hall, walking towards them, as he saw Cassie he bowed jokingly like always "My princess," Cassie shook her head.
"What is happening, Pyp?" asked Jon to his friend.
"Ser Alliser, wants all of the men outside after we dine," Cassie blinked her blue eyes, an announcement for the men. New duties maybe.
"Well," she said standing up "I will take my leave."
"Wait, Cassie," said Jon watching her.
"Eat with your friends, Jon Snow," she said walking away.
As she walked out the main hall, she looked back at Jon's table where Pyp had already set, joined by Grenn and Dareon. Those men loved Jon. It was easy to see. He had been at the Wall for so little and he seemed to fit perfectly there. That thought hurt a bit. She still didn't want for him to be there. But there was something different about him form the shy and quite Jon Snow sat in a corner of the Castel of Winterfell.
She pushed these thoughts at the back of her mind as she walked out. She made just a step outside when she bumped into someone.
"Cassie, hello," she was met by Sam's usual smile and big eyes
"Sam," she greeted as she walked past him.
"Have you eaten already?" he asked, his cloak tight around him to shield his body from the cold.
"A bit," she said "Jon is inside."
"Oh," he said "Thank you," and with another little smile he opened the wooden door.
Since they had talked, Sam shared words with her more, or asking about her day. Cassie answered back sometimes, but mostly he just set down with her when she was alone, just reading, while Cassie looked at the weather.
She decided to go in her room, where she found Rose and Wylly. The three of them were free from shifts that night. Wylly had done two nights in a row, it was a miracle she was still standing.
The three girls sat together and Cassie listened to Rose talking about the youngest girls that were having problems mastering their power. That was frequent, that was normal. As long as they would not subjugate any man, that was quite traumatizing. Cassie listened in silence as the two girls talked, enjoying a moment of peace in Castle Balck.
Suddenly though, a knock could be heard from outside their door. The three girls looked at each other with a frown.
"Whoever it is, be quick about it," said Cassie, hoping it wasn't Hydi. She was always too energetic and could talk for hours, not caring how late it can become.
"It is me," a whisper form outside could be heard.
"Pyp?" said Rose getting up and opening the door. The boy looked at her with a smile, a very happy smile.
"Are you up for a celebration?" Rose must have been frowning because Pyp said happily "Ser Alliser will make us Night's Watchers," Cassie straightened up from her position. Night's Watchers, for real. Making them say the vows.
"Truly?" Asked Rose happily.
"Congratulations," Said Wylly getting up from her bed.
"Jon?" Cassie asked still sitting down.
"Of course." exclaimed Pyp and Cassie bit her lips lightly. The day had arrived, he was about to say the words and then he would be one of them for the rest of his life. He could have everything, a good family, maybe a good marriage and a castle. Surely Ned would have provided him with a good life. Did he really wanted to throw it all away? For what?
"We are celebrating, come on," Pyp said almost pleading looking at Rose, who giggled.
"Alright," she said before turning to Cassie and Wylly.
Wylly gave out a breath "One more night won't kill me, come on" then she turned to Cassie "Cassie?"
The girl moved her balck hair from her forehead, she wanted to talk to Jon. Why did he want to leave everything behind? She wanted to know. The princess nodded her head before getting up.
As they joined the boys and their celebrating, Cassie looked around the room looking for Jon Snow, but he wasn't there strangely. All of them were there, drinking, laughing and eating. Where could he be?
"Where is Sam?" asked Rose, drinking next to Grenn.
"Oh, he wasn't chosen," at his answer Cassie nodded thinking to herself. He wasn't ready to become a Man of the Watch, he would just be killed.
"Jon is a bit worried," said Pyp making her turn to him "We'll leave him alone with Ser Alliser and Rast," Thorne and Wanker seemed to enjoy at Sam's failures. He had to learn to defend himself, but knowing Thorne he wasn't really a man who cared about progresses, not if he could laugh over people. They could just trust that Sam would finally fight back.
"Where is Jon?" Cassie asked after a moment.
"He went out," Grenn informed her, pointing at the door. She nodded before walking out. She looked down at the yard and saw Jon walking towards the stables with Ghost close behind. She wondered where he was going, so she decided to follow him.
As he entered the stables, Cassie knocked on the wood to announce her presence. Jon turned to her and Ghost run all around Cassie waving happily his tail. The two of them just looked at each other in silence. Cassie could tell when there was something that was bothering him.
"Want to ride?" she asked moving her head towards the horses.
They both were riding in the night as Ghost run behind them. The trees moved quickly past them as the wind moved her black hair back. They run fast, surpassing each other at every chance. As she was ahead, she looked over her shoulder at him who followed her making his horse run faster. As he moved past her, she found herself smiling and kick her horse to move more. The night was all around them, just the moon illuminating them. Jon looked at her with a smile and she felt herself doing the same, maybe happily. She had never smiled like that at the Wall... truly, she smiled like that just in Winterfell.
As they arrived at the Kingsroad, Jon stopped looking ahead of him. Cassie was soon next to him, making her horse halt on his track. She followed his gaze and look at the road.
"Following this road, I'll make it back to Winterfell," he said suddenly, making her look up at him "And going over there is Riverrun, King's Landing, lots of places where I never went."
Wind moved her hair as she looked at him, it was like he was seeing the world for the first time, open wide in front of him.
"You can do everything you want," she said with maybe the softest tone she had used to him recently, or maybe ever.
He looked at her from the corner of his eyes before looking the road again.
"It's true," he said nodding his head. Silence fall between them, as his gaze wandered ahead of himself, while Cassie couldn't help but keeping her eyes on her best friend. Jon Snow, the quiet and shy Jon Snow.
"I..." she muttered in the silence "I never asked you why."
"You did," he said softly "But it didn't ease your temper," since he had arrived at the Wall, she had let her anger move her. They had fought and they had ignored each other and for a short period she thought he didn't want to be her friend anymore. She didn't like that feeling.
"I won't say sorry," she stated.
"I know," he answered turning to her "It wouldn't be you otherwise," she shook her head before looking away.
"But I understood why you acted like that," he said with confidence "You care for me."
She felt her cheeks burn instantly before scoffing "Shut up."
Jon laughed quietly.
"You didn't want me in danger, like happened to you," Cassie bit her lips still not looking at him "You wanted for me to have a better life. But what to?" at his question she finally turned to him.
"Your family," she said with no harsh.
He nodded his head "I'd like that, be with my brothers, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm a bastard. And I will always be a bastard, for everyone," he took a breath "My name, not knowing who my mother is... I want to find my place," he said "I want to find my place not because of my name, because of who I am, because of what I can do."
Cassie observed him. He had always suffered about his name, almost feeling ashamed of what his mother could have been. She couldn't understand how it could feel, as he wouldn't understand her and her family. All Cassie wanted was for him to be fine, she thought she knew where he could live happier, but at the end she could not know.
"It's your life Jon," she said after a moment "I won't be in the way. Do whatever you think is best for you."
He looked once more at the road, before turning to her with a small smile.
"Let's go home," he said as he turned his horse towards Castle Black.
So, it's done, she thought as she looked Jon starting to walk away.
They rode slowly to their way back at the Castle, they stood quiet for a while as Ghost followed them, with his mouth red from the blood of a prey. He seemed happy hunting around.
"I suppose then that I should congratulate with you," she said making him laugh a bit.
"I appreciate it."
Silence fall again, but it was less heavy than the last weeks. It was their usual silence, the one you could have only with the company of Jon Snow.
"Can I tell you something, without you getting angry?" he asked, making her already worried.
"It depends," she answers.
"Cassie..."
"What?" she said, but he looked at her sternly making her roll her eyes "I can do my best," He didn't seem satisfied but he spoke anyway.
"It's about Sam. He'll be alone with Thorne and I don't like it."
"I hate to admit it, Jon, but Thorne can't make him a Man of the Watch," she said "Sam still can't defend himself."
"Thorne will kill him," he argued back.
"That piece of shit surely will try," Cassie said with honesty "But there's nothing you can do about it. It depends just on Sam," he stood silent for a moment.
"The first time we talked about Sam, you've said to me that he should have learn how to stand up for himself, so on the other side of the Wall he would have survived," Cassie nodded her head remembering their conversation.
"But there aren't only rangers at the Wall," he continued "He could be a steward," Cassie frowned, actually she had never thought of another role. She thought it was important for Sam to learn how to fight, but he was a lost cause at that, and she knew that Thorne would have tormented him until the end. But a steward...
"Jon, stewards have lots of duties. Are you sure he can fulfill them all?"
"Maybe not all, but there's something that he sure can do and no one else can," Cassie eyed her friend curious about what was he talking about.
Soon she found herself following Jon to Maester Aemon' chamber.
"Maester Aemon has already his stewards, Jon," Cassie warned him. And the Maester's steward wasn't even the nicest of the Wall.
"You are talking about Clydas who is almost blind and Chett who is always angry," Jon said but Cassie found herself frowning.
"Who is Clydas?" Jon turned to her with a reproving look before knocking at the door.
"I need to speak with Maester Aemon," Jon said as Chett opened the door.
"The maester is abed, as you should be."
"Apologise, my lord," Cassie scoffed making Chett notice her and he made an even angrier face at them "Come on, let us pass."
"Come back on the morrow and maybe he'll see you," Chett said as he started to shut the door, but Jon jammed it open with his boot, surprising even Cassie, who looked at him with wide eyes.
"I need to speak to him now, tomorrow it will be too late," Jon argued back.
"I said he is asleep, do you know how old is he?" Chett said.
"Old enough to treat visitors with more courtesy than you. Give him my pardons. I would not disturb his rest if it were not important," Jon insisted.
"And if I refuse?"
"I can stand here all night if I must," Jon stated.
Chett scoffed, before open the door to let them in. He made them wait in the library so he could go and wake Maester Aemon.
"I didn't know you had that in you, Jon Snow," She said impressed.
"What?" he asked.
"You've got manners," she said leaning her forearms on the wooden table "I respect that. I would have threatened him," Jon shook his head
"Because you've got a temper."
"And you better remember that," the two of them chuckled at each other.
Chett hadn't been very fast at bringing the Maester to them, but when he finally did, he made the old man sit next to the fire and covered his legs in fur, before moving to the door.
"We are sorry, we have woken you, Maester," Jon said before turning to Cassie.
"Very sorry," she said.
"You didn't wake me," the maester said and Cassie found herself turning to Chett with a glare as the old man said that at night he almost thought about memories.
"So tell me, Jon Snow why have you come with Cassandra Baratheon calling at this strange hour?"
"To ask that Samwell Tarly be taken from training and accepted as a brother of the Night's Watch."
At that Chett complained that, that wasn't Maester Aemon' concern.
"I am surprised that Cassandra hasn't reminded you that the Lord Comander had gave that duty to Ser Alliser Thorne, he is the one who decides if a boy is ready," stated the maester with his quite voice.
"Yes, she told me," Jon said
"Then why come to me?" the old man asked.
"Lord Commander listens to you," Jon said "And you are in charge of the wounded and the sick of the Night's Watch."
"And is he?"
"He will be," Jon insisted "Without us to keep him safe, Sam will have no chance."
"Sam tried all he could," Cassie found herself saying as she walked closer to Jon as the maester set his blind gaze on the fire "He is no fit for the fighting."
"If Ser Alliser makes him fight, it's only a matter of time before he's hurt or killed," Jon continued and Cassie couldn't help but nod her head.
"I've seen this fat boy in the common hall," Chett said "He is a pig, and a hopeless craven as well, if what you say is true."
"Maybe it is so," Maester Aemon said. "Tell me, Chett, what would you have us do with such a boy?"
"Leave him where he is," Chett continued "The Wall is no place for the weak. Let him train until he is ready, no matter how many years that takes. Ser Alliser shall make a man of him or kill him, as the gods will"
Like it has always been, thought Cassie thinking at the years back. Many boys were like Sam and they rather had to grow up or die.
"That's stupid," Jon said. Cassie turned to him with wide eyes "I remember once I asked Maester Luwin why he wore a chain around his throat." the girl listened carefully. It was the first time she was hearing of that and even the Maester seemed interested in what Jon had to say.
"A maester forges his chain with study, he told me. The different metals are each a different kind of learning, gold for the study of money and accounts, silver for healing, iron for warcraft. And he said there were other meanings as well. The collar is supposed to remind a maester of the realm he serves, isn't that so? Lords are gold and knights steel, but two links can't make a chain. You also need silver and iron and lead, tin and copper and bronze and all the rest, and those are farmers and smiths and merchants and the like. A chain needs all sorts of metals, and a land needs all sorts of people." Cassie couldn't help but observing Jon, standing tall, speaking his mind and she felt compleatly catched by his words, like never before.
"And so?" the maester said.
"The Night's Watch needs all that sort too. There are rangers and builders and stewards. Lord Randyll couldn't make him a warrior, Ser Alliser won't either. You can't hammer tin into iron, no matter how hard you try. Why Sam can't be a steward?" Jon was doing all he could to help Sam, he was being very brave, speaking his mind without fear all to help a friend.
You are a good man, Jon Snow.
"There's one thing that Sam can do better than anyone," Jon kept saying "He can help you, he knows how to read and write. Chett can't read and Clydas has weak eyes. He read all is father's books. He can do other things besides fighting. The Night's Watch needs every man. We kill one, to no end? Make use of him instead," Cassie found herself smile at him while he wasn't looking, then she turned to Maester Aemon. The old man was silent and Jon seemed tense.
"Maester Luwin taught you well, Jon Snow. Your mind is as deft as your blade, it would seem," said the maester finally.
"Does it mean.."
"I shall think about what you've asked," on Jon's face appeared a big smile as he thanked the maester, before he asked Chett to accompany the both of them outside.
As the door closed behind them, Jon let out a happy laughter. Cassie observed him leaning his back to the wooden rail. He did it, he helped Sam. He saved him.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked making her get back to reality. She shook her head and gave a light punch on his shoulder.
"You've got manners, Jon Snow," she said as he smiled at her "Goodnight," she then turned to walk to her chamber.
"Thank you," he said "For coming with me."
Cassie felt like averting her gaze from Jon's, "I did nothing."
"You were there," she shook her head again at his words, but she could feel her lips turn up into a smile.
"You're an idiot, Jon."
Jon chuckled, his dark eyes shining with kindness, "Goodnight".
That night she slept well, without tossing and turning, without waking up. And as the sun was up, she woke up as Rose was fixing her dress.
"Good morrow, Cassie," the black-haired girl waved her hand as she moved her hair out of her face.
"Where were you last night?" Rose asked starting to braid her hair.
Cassie scrolled her shoulders "Around."
"You seem relaxed, that's good," Rose said as Cassie stood up.
"Shut up."
In the main hall like every morning everyone was eating, talking and drinking. She went to Donar to take something to eat, before she noticed Jon and walked towards him.
"Any word from the Maester?" as she asked, he looked up with a smile.
"Not yet," he said before looking at the door "But maybe we'll know something soon."
Cassie followed his gaze to see Sam walking towards them with a big smile.
"I've been summoned to the sept," he said as he set down, while Jon listened to him and Cassie played with her food "I'm to be made a brother with all of you. Can you believe it?"
"No, truly?" asked Jon.
"Are they sure?" asked Cassie not looking at him "If you barely can pick up a sword."
"That is, in fact true," Said Sam "But I'm to assist Maester Aemon with the library and the pigeons. He needs someone who can read and write."
"You'll do well at that," Jon said, smiling.
"I suppose" said Cassie taking a bite of her bacon.
"Thank you" said Sam happily as Cassie and Jon looked at each other sharing a little smile.
They were breaking their fast, Jon and Sam were talking as Cassie looked out of the window, listening to them and how happy they were to be almost man of the watch, when Vyva entered the main hall walking towards Cassie with a piece of parchment in her hand.
"Cassandra,"
"What is it?" she asked looking at the woman, who handed her the parchment.
"This is for you" Cassie frowned as she took the sheet of parchment between her fingers. No one ever wrote to her.
Cassandra
That was all there was written outside. She really tried to understand who that writing belonged to, but she couldn't tell. She turned it so she could open it.
Dear Cassandra,
Our mother didn't want for you to know, to not make you worry I presume. But the situation is not getting better and I thought you deserved to know.
Our Lord Father, the King, got badly injured during hunting some days ago.
His condition is not improving and I fear that he will leave us soon.
I hope you will be back, I'm sure our Noble Father would love to have you beside him. At least to give you farewell.
Your sister,
Myrcella
She had to read those words more than once. It was like she could not understand fully what Myrcella had wrote to her. She knew what they meant, but it didn't make sense.
Her father was injured. Her father, Robert Baratheon, the man who had killed the Dragon got injured during hunt. And he was dying. Her father was dying and she was at the other side of the world. She had never thought about this day. She wasn't prepared for it...
"Cassie," she heard a distant voice, "Cassie," she knew that voice.
Suddenly two hands on her shoulders brought back to the reality. In front of her there was Jon Snow, his dark eyes studying her face with a worried expression.
"We should bring her to Maester Aemon?" Pyp's voice came so distant. Everything seemed so distant from her, she could only feel Jon's warm touch on her arms.
"Cassie, what is happening?" She hadn't even realized she had stood up from her sit, and on the table the cup of milk had spilled onto the table.
"Cassie!" he insisted making her look up at him.
"My father is dying," she said with a weak voice that she didn't even know it belonged to her.
"What?" he said before, leading her outside the main hall.
Everything felt so strange, suddenly it was like she felt nothing, still she couldn't seem to wake up from that state.
What was that feeling? She knew, she had feel it before, the grief. But why was she feeling it?
"It should hold no matter to me," she muttered to herself "It should hold no matter to me," she was able to repeat only this, over and over.
"Cassie, please," Jon said shaking her by her shoulders, before taking her head between his hands to make her look at him. His grey eyes looking in her blue once.
"It should hold no matter to me," she said finally grabbing his wrists, not wanting for him to let go, "He was never there. Jon. He was never there. Why do I even care if he dies?!" she whispered, her lips quivering.
"Because he is your Father," at his simple words a tear rolled down her cheek.
Her Father was dying and she wasn't there... she wanted to say her farewell. Was she feeling like that just because their blood made them connected?
But she shook her head.
"He means nothing..." she said as she was trying to convince herself, but deep down she knew she was lying. Her cheeks were wet with tears and her lips quivered more.
"I truly am sorry," Jon whispered before leaning over and wrap his arms around her. Cassie could just stare in front of her as she could feel the warmth of Jon's body against her and she clunched to that feeling. Her arms circled his shoulders. It was so strange, that strange emptiness in her heart, she didn't think that it had been possible to her to feel so much for Robert Baratheon's death. Probably because she had never thought that her King father could ever die. But reality kept hitting her and shaking her from that dream of a child, the one that could never believe that their parents could ever leave that world. Even if they were not the best of parents.