Boom!
Ethan heard the muffled explosion through the monster's thick skin, saw it shine in dim orange, his throat expanding in one go.
Roar!
The outcome wasn't a mess of meat. No, Abomination wasn't dead, not yet. But he sure as hell wasn't thrilled. The brute staggered back with a bellow of agony and anger…mostly anger, smoke pouring from his gaping maw like a smoldering furnace.
His chest heaved as he coughed up a string of curses in some language that probably wasn't even real, and yet somehow sounded far too articulate for a monstrosity that size.
Pieces of charred shrapnel clinked and rattled down the beast's throat as it tried to regain its composure.
The explosion had left the monster gasping, each breath a painful, labored wheeze, the sharp fragments embedded in his throat more than enough to send him into an enraged, throaty scream.
Ethan didn't wait for the next round.
"How can I be even more annoying?" he muttered to himself, and the answer was already forming in his mind.
More covers. More grenades.
He pulled a few more sheets from a nearby clothesline, twisting them into crude shapes and snapping them into the air with a flick of his wrist.
He lashed out with his mind, wrapping them around the Abomination's face, stuffing one into his mouth to muffle the beast's roar.
Blonsky snarled, tugging at the fabric with one hand, but before he could tear it away, Ethan was already at it again.
Another handful of curtains flung into the air, and this time, he stuffed one into the monster's ears…these contained some grenades.
He didn't envy it.
The beast twisted its head, trying to tear the fabric free, but Ethan was relentless.
If it closed its mouth, fine! He'd shove the cloth into its ears and eyes. No problem. Abomination's roars of pain and frustration rang through the streets, but all Ethan could hear was the pounding of his heart and the undeniable satisfaction of having made the creature's day that much worse.
'Though my reserves aren't looking good, I'd appreciate something bright green and angry right about now,' He thought, feeling like he was being hugged by an obese woman.
He went for the ridiculous next.
In a desperate move, he pulled a random steel pole from a broken construction site, twisted it with his mind, and shoved it right toward Blonsky's backside.
It was a last-ditch effort, of course, a bizarre attempt to ruin his focus even more, but Ethan didn't care about dignity. He just needed something to mess up the monster's rhythm.
"Better than nothing," he muttered, watching with twisted amusement as Blonsky jerked away from the pole, roaring in confusion and pain.
When it became clear that all this nonsense wasn't going to break the creature, Ethan's attention shifted, and before he could think twice, Hulk barreled back into the fray, fists swinging.
"Good boy!" Ethan shouted, shifting into a new position, waiting for Hulk's inevitable punches to bring the beast down just a little more.
As the Hulk pummeled Abomination with brutal strikes, Ethan continued his work, shoving anything he could find—rubble, steel beams, more cloth and those sweet boom-booms—into the gaps of the monster's body.
He worked quickly, stuffing fabric into its nose and mouth to block the air, blinding it with anything that could obstruct its vision.
Abomination thrashed violently, but with Hulk's fists hammering him into the ground, it didn't matter. Ethan watched with cold, calculating eyes as he piled the rubble higher, packing the space around the creature's orifices like a man on a mission.
And as the Hulk delivered yet another brutal punch to Blonsky's jaw, Ethan knew the monster's time was running out.
By the time the beast's screams faded to strained, pained gasps, Ethan was left standing—hands still outstretched, a satisfied smirk on his face.
Blonsky wasn't finished, but Hulk had the advantage now, and the monster had been sufficiently annoyed.
It was only a matter of time before Hulk finished the job, but for now, Ethan leaned back, surveying the chaos he'd helped orchestrate.
For a split second, he allowed himself a moment of reflection. It was weird, but he didn't feel entirely bad about the whole thing. Not when the beast was still trying to claw its way through all the cloth, the grenades, and the other ridiculous distractions.
Blonsky might be pissed at the Hulk, but Ethan knew deep down: if he could ask the monster, it'd probably be wondering who the hell it hated more; the green giant, or the little bug who moved everything with his mind and was dead-set on harassing something a hundred times his size.
With the last slivers of power he could spare, he left them a final gift, a couple flashbangs stuck into Blonski's dazed, giant eyes and covered with layers upon layers of clothes, junk and other light but pointy things.
Then Ethan opened them with a flick of his fingers, and enjoyed the screams of a much stronger foe as he was blinded and pummeled at the same time.
It was time for him to leave the battle and rest.
Not without stealing a nice gun though! And some tactical gear, a couple grenades wouldn't be missed either.
'Consider it payment for dealing with your bullshit, Uncle Sam.' He thought, keeping his spoils in a duffel bag he levitated far away from him.
It was time to change his clothes once more, and find a blonde girl that made everything feel better.
He was craving some hot chocolate.
Alternative Title: I am the Menace!
Author's Note:
If you're enjoying the story and want to read ahead or support my work, you can check out my P@treon at [email protected]/LordCampione. But don't worry—all chapters will eventually be public. Just being here and reading means the world to me. Thank you for your time and support.