"Thoma, I need you to listen to me very carefully, okay?" she asked, tilting her head down to look at me from beneath her brow. "I know it hurts. Believe me, I do, but you can't sit there and wallow in those thoughts forever. You already learned that during your third stage examination, so I'm not going to reiterate that any more than what's already been done," she began, taking a step closer.
"But I want to thank you for being brave enough to tell me that. I know that wasn't easy, and I can see it in your eyes just how much it pained you to recall what happened. I just hope you can forgive me for asking you that difficult question," she said softly.
"Of course," I said, feeling the lump in my throat growing even heavier as I listened to her.
"Thank you. But what I want you to know is that you do have worth, and it's not tied to how she saw you or what you could provide for her. You are so much more than that, and not just to your brother, friends, or family, but to me as well," she said, moving her hand to caress my face.
"These kinds of wounds take time to heal, Thoma. There is no getting around it. They say that time heals all wounds, and when you've lived as long as I have, you come to realize that time is only one factor in the healing process. You have to dig deep, pick yourself up and flick off the dust like you would when you get knocked on your ass by Siraye during training," she said with a cheeky smile.
I allowed myself a short chuckle at her example, but I knew she was right.
"Just promise me one thing," she said, holding my gaze as I looked into her beautiful, violet eyes. "Promise me that you'll do your best. Do not try, but do your best to find a way to heal. I can't tell you what method will work for you because it's something only you can do. So, promise me you'll get it done," she said, searching my eyes.
I nodded my head in agreement, grabbing her hand with my own. "I need to hear you say it," she said cheekily, eliciting a chuckle from me. "I promise," I said, nodding my head again. "Good, then I hope this will help get you started," she said, leaning in and kissing my cheek.
Her lips were warm and soft against my skin, and I could feel her exhaling through her nose as she held the kiss for a moment longer than I would have ever expected.
You're not giving me a choice, are you? I thought, not wanting to ruin the moment. You always have a choice. I'm just helping you along, she sent back, having read my thoughts.
I don't think any words I could use would ever do justice to the feeling of both excitement and nervousness riddling us both at that moment. There was something that the potion we'd both drank the previous night that all but allowed me to feel what she was feeling like her presence was much closer than ever before.
At that point in time, I couldn't explain it even if I tried.
I wrapped my arms beneath hers, half-lifting her off the ground as I held her close for a few heartbeats. Nothing else seemed to matter in that moment, not our predicament of being stuck in the Underworld, nor the looming threat of the Undergod.
I recognized, for the first time since the night she sat next to me when I was at my lowest, that everything I was feeling in that moment had actually been there for a long time; I was only just now realizing it while being wrapped in that embrace.
I was home.
The world lurched back into motion when a knock from the door reached our ears. "Thoma, are you up yet?" Irun's voice came from beyond the heavy door. "We'll be right out," I called out, releasing Ysevel from our embrace gently. She looked into my eyes one last time and gave me a reassuring nod before we both moved towards the door.
"What is it? Is Kalia back from her mission yet?" I asked as I opened the door. Irun must have seen my eyes were a little bloodshot because he raised an eyebrow as soon as he saw me. "The scouts have said she's on her way back and that she'll be here within the hour, but are you alright?" he asked, eyeing me curiously. "Oh, good! Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" I asked nonchalantly.
"Well, there were two bursts of mana I didn't recognize last night, and I was worried something had happened to you two," he said with a concerned look on his face. "The Mighty Irun Mothac is worried about Lanky Thoma? That's a first," I said sarcastically, giving him a nudge with my elbow.
"I was for a minute, but not anymore," he said, pushing me away awkwardly. Ysevel chuckled behind me, covering her mouth in the process. Irun looked at us both questioningly, but by the look on his face, he probably decided it was better to not ask any questions.
"I'm glad to see you two finally getting along," she said, answering his unspoken question. "Getting along…" he said under his breath. "In any case, Lady Kalia will be here soon, and gods forbid you don't address her by her title when she arrives. Now, hurry up or we'll be late," Irun said, emphasizing her title heavily.
How does she even have the tit of Lady in the first place? You'd think they would have their own words for it, I sent Ysevel. It's likely a translation from their native language, but where they got it from is a mystery even to me, she replied.
As we followed Irun down the stairs into the heart of the Tavern, it became increasingly evident that he was welcome here. Every creature that crossed his path greeted him with his title of disciple, though neither I nor Ysevel, for that matter, paid him any mind whatsoever.
Krozz, apparently, had been waiting for us to come down from the room for quite some time, as there were plates of food already prepared for us. While they were similar to the ones the previous night, I could tell that he took much better care in serving us this time around.
"Dun ed grussteke aker ba," Krozz's voice rumbled beside our table. It caught me off guard just enough to almost make me jolt in my seat. "I'm sorry. I don't speak… hegraphenian? I'm not sure what to call your language," I said, trying my best to not be disrespectful. The bartender didn't attack me as soon as he heard my name, after all, so I figured being respectful was the next obvious choice.
"It means good morning to you, and that's alright; I wouldn't expect you to have learned it overnight," the large hegraphene said in a much more amicable tone than he'd used when he first heard my name.
I wonder why that is, I remember thinking.
"Dyun ed gruzz tekeaker ba," I repeated, trying my best to imitate his tone and cadence. The intermittent sound that fled from the edges of his face plate, as a result of my trying to replicate his greeting, was something I could only describe as a sackcloth bag full of rocks being tossed around. As others joined in, I realized that the sound was actually a laugh. "I never would have thought that I'd hear an elf try to pronounce our speech in a million cycles," he said, putting a hand on my shoulder.
Gods, he's fucking heavy! I exclaimed mentally, trying my best not to show any kind of weakness.
Ysevel, having heard my thoughts, was trying desperately to stifle a giggle while Irun glared at me as if to tell me not to let the weight break me.
"Your timing was a little off, but the raspiness of your voice was decent for not being a hegraphene. It takes us hundreds, sometimes even thousands of cycles to even begin to train our voices," he said, pulling up a chair made from the same material the walls were, relieving the pressure on my shoulder in the process.
The relief I felt was palpable, to say the least.
"Th-thank you," I began, trying to breathe in as much air as I could as subtly as possible. "But why the sudden change of demeanor? I mean, last night, or cycle, I suppose, I might have said you wanted to squash me into the floor when you heard my last name," I said, lowering my tone a little to avoid bringing more attention our way.
Krozz seemed to ponder my question for a moment, tapping the side of his face plate with a hardened finger. "It was you, wasn't it? Both of you, I mean," he asked, eyeing Ysevel and I carefully. "I'm not sure I know what you mean by that," I said, raising an eyebrow and upturning my lip.
"There was a pulse of strange mana last night that spanned from here to the edge of the Draukar Forest. Since you have been the only new guests here in a very long time, I figured it might have been because of you," he said, lowering his voice. "Not many felt it, but I know I did," he replied with a knowing nod.
"There are many different sources of mana in this realm, it would seem. What makes you so sure it was one of us?" Ysevel asked, trying to split his attention. "Because I've only ever felt that kind of mana once before, but I think it would be best if you spoke with someone who knows it better than I do," he said, pointing to the wide-open doors.