It still meant they had two years in school together.
« I'm going on a diet ! » Na-Kyum pulled out his light lunch. His elder classmate and best friend frowned and poured half of his own meal in his lunchbox. « Wait ! No ! I'm serious hyung ! »
« No, » Do-Yung deadpanned.
« No ? It's not y- »
« You're cute, » Do-Yung shrugged, effectively cutting him off.
Na-Kyum blushed bright red at the word and stammered in embarrassment. From then on, no matter how much he tried to diet, Do-Yung never allowed him to.
They were still as close as ever, went to sleep most of the night together, walked to school together, parted for class but met up for every break, something weighted more and more heavily on his mind. Na-Kyum knew what Do-Yung's family was and feared they'd force him into their lifestyle. He often confessed his fears to his friend.
« Don't worry about me, » Do-Yung had offered him that small smile that was only his.
« You know in six years, I'll be going to college, then we'll get out of here, » Na-Kyum leaned back on his hands and stared at the sky as they sat in their special garden halfway between the orphanage and the mafia compound. « I'll earn enough money for us to live together in a nice appartement. Imagine it : a place of our own. »
« I do, » Do-Yung had answered in an undecipherable tone.
« I'll work hard. Trust me. »
« Work harder or I'll be the one to get us an appartement, » the elder one had teased.
« Not fair ! It was my idea ! »
« You should have been born earlier then, » Do-Yung smirked.
He definitely acted like an elder brother but Na-Kyum enjoyed the teasing. It always warmed him how comfortable Do-Yung was with him. They knew each other by heart. No one in the world shared the same bond they did.
Which was why he closed his eyes on it at first.
People didn't dare to talk behind Do-Yung's back. The few jokes who did, never came back to school. People kept quiet but sometimes along his second year, when he was around thirteen, Na-Kyum realized some things.
It started by accident.
Once his english teacher had sent him out on an errand to the teacher's lounge. It was the first time and Na-Kyum quickly retrieved the paper and thought he had time to spare, nobody came back so quickly from an errand. So he figured he could stop by Do-Yung's classroom and take a peek, maybe pull a face at him like he often saw people do to their friends when they passed by his own classroom.
He was too small but managed to pull his head up enough for his eyes to see through the window. No grimace then. He frowned at the scene. Nobody moved. No one. Not even the teacher.
Do Yung sat in the last row, staring out of the window with a bored expression, while his classmates kept their head down on their desk, looking so anxious. The teacher was obediently sitting down too. Nobody moved an inch. Something uncomfortable grew in his chest at the bizarre sight. He knew people feared Do-Yung but he felt it was unjustified seeing how calm and kind his friend was.
Then their eyes met and Na-Kyum froze. He wasn't scared, Do-Yung could never scare him, but the cold, empty look in his eyes that was here for the split of a second before he recognized him… He understood why nobody dared to speak about him. Do-Yung's whole expression had shifted upon seeing him and he had gotten out of his seat without asking the teacher who folded even more if possible.
« What are you doing here, Na-Kyum ? » His hyung smiled down at him and the expression was so familiar, Na-Kyum brushed the weird feeling off.
« My teacher sent me on an errand, » he grinned up at his best friend. « I wanted to see you on the way. »
« Adorable, » Do-Yung flicked his forehead lightly. « I'll see you to your classroom then. »
« But… » Na-Kyum trailed off on his own, meeting the frightened, pleading eyes of the teacher over Do-Yung's shoulder. « Alright. » He didn't want to understand.
Then there were those time he went searching for him at lunch because he was late and found him getting out of dark, isolated closets. He never asked, tried hard to turn a blind eye to the bloodstains on his cuffs, the reddened knuckles, and did his best to keep their bubble intact. Do-Yung was his shelter. He was his only family. His rock. His everything. He couldn't lose him.
So he ignored the men in suits who came to pick him up randomly sometimes. Ignored the weird stuffs he said over quick, hushed phone calls at night. Ignored the changes in the way his father's men addressed him, more and more respectfully despite his insistance he wasn't involved in any business with them.
« I don't think we'll be able to sleep together much longer, » he smiled and played with Do-Yung's wet hair. He had just come back from one of his mysterious vacations. Do Yung always showered before coming to the orphanage and Na-Kyum had started finding the clean scent of his friend comforting without realising it.
« Why not ? » Do-Yung frowned and snaked an arm around Na-Kyum's chubby waist to drag him closer.
« We're too old, » Na-Kyum chuckled softly. « And it's embarrassing when… » He trailed off with a dark blush.
« We're not, » Do-Yung gently bumped their head together. « It's not, » he added with an intense look in his eyes and Na-Kyum was left speechless.
When it started happening to Do-Yung a couple of years ago, he had felt bad for his hyung and never brought it up. Sometimes, it bothered him, it was weird to feel it poking during the night, sometimes it almost felt like it was being rubbed against him, but he never wanted to embarrass his best friend so he kept quiet about it and did his best to ignore the tent he always woke up to. It was a natural reaction he told himself.
However, now that it was happening to him…
Also, they shared the room with a dozen other teenage boys who sometimes gave up on the concept of intimacy and let everyone hear them pleasure themselves at night.
A part of Na-Kyum was mortified, another part was desperate to try himself. However, there was no way he'd do anything with the boy he considered his brother holding him.
« You can touch yourself if you want, » Do-Yung had whispered in his ear, his tone something Na-Kyum had never heard before. It sent shiver down his spine.
He pretended to sleep.
Na-Kyum was getting good at pretending. Great even. But the unease still grew. It became so important that Na-Kyum found himself relieved to see Do-Yung off to high school. His hyung had looked pretty annoyed but promised to come around often.
So his third year of middle school started. At fourteen, Na-Kyum finally started loosing his late-acquired baby fat and though he was still extremely shy, with Do-Yung gone, people dared to approach him. He knew the primary reason anyone even tried to speak to him was out of morbid curiosity. He was Seo Do-Yung's one and only friend.
It felt wrong but the novelty quickly dissipated, leaving him with a small handful of genuine people. It was weird to finally make friends, it was different from what he shared with Do-Yung, way less precious, no one could ever near hyung's place in his heart, but it was nice. It tremendously helped with his confidence to be able to build relationships on his own.
Except that it didn't last.