It had been three days since that recess incident — the one where Ayaka basically declared war on me.
And yet, every time I saw Akio, his words kept echoing in my head.
"Maybe I will."
Those three words shouldn't mean anything.
But my stupid heart disagreed.
I tried to ignore it, of course.
Every time Akio walked into the classroom, I found something extremely important to look at — like the wall, my notebook, or the same empty corner I'd been staring at for two minutes straight.
Hinata: (Snickering) Kiyomi, if you keep staring at that corner, it might start charging you rent.
Kiyomi: Huh? Oh—no, I was just… thinking.
Hinata: Thinking, huh? About a certain someone with black hair and a charming grin?
Kiyomi: Excuse me?!
Hinata: Don't "excuse me" me. You've been acting weird since that day.
Kiyomi: (sighs) I'm fine. It's just… Ayaka was rude. That's all.
Hinata: Uh-huh. And that blush on your cheeks right now is... anger?
Kiyomi: (groans) Hinata, stop!
Hinata just grinned like she'd solved the mystery of the century.
When Akio walked over to our desks a few minutes later, she gave me that evil smile — the kind that says, "I'm about to make things awkward."
Akio: Hey, what's up?
Hinata: Oh, nothing much. Just talking about your charm.
I choked on air.
Akio: My what?
Kiyomi: She meant your alarm. Your sense of... uh... time! Right, Hinata?
Hinata: (laughing) Oh, yeah, totally. The alarm of your personality.
Akio: (smiling) You two are weird.
He ruffled my hair before sitting down next to me. I froze — completely, utterly froze.
My brain: Stay calm, Kiyomi. It's just Akio.
Also my brain: HE TOUCHED YOUR HAIR.
I quickly looked away, pretending to be interested in my pencil.
Akio: Hey, Kiyomi.
Kiyomi: Y-yeah?
Akio: I read another story you posted on the school site. "Silent Rain." It was really good.
Kiyomi: (trying to sound normal) Oh, thanks. It's just something I wrote for fun.
Akio: Fun? It felt so real. Like someone was hurting but didn't want to show it.
His tone softened, and for a second, I forgot how to breathe.
I smiled faintly but avoided his eyes.
Kiyomi: Maybe it's because the writer's a little broken herself.
Akio: Broken or not, she's strong.
My heart skipped — again.
I hate that feeling.
That warm, tingling, stupid feeling that tries to crawl up your chest when someone says something nice.
I've seen what happens when you let it grow.
It starts with a smile.
Then laughter.
Then hope.
And then one day, everything shatters — just like Mom and Dad.
So I laughed it off.
Kiyomi: Strong? You mean stubborn.
Akio: Maybe both.
He smiled. I didn't realize I was smiling too until Hinata leaned over and whispered:
Hinata: Kiyomi, if you smile any wider, your face might split.
Kiyomi: Shut up, Hinata.
Later that day, after school, the three of us were walking home. Hinata was talking about the cheer team, and Akio kept teasing her for being dramatic.
Hinata: I'm not dramatic!
Akio: You literally said, "We'll soar like eagles into the sunset."
Hinata: It's called motivation!
Kiyomi: (laughing) It's called embarrassment.
They both turned to me with mock offense, and for once, I didn't feel like the quiet, distant girl I used to be.
I felt… included.
The wind blew gently, carrying the scent of wet leaves.
Akio looked at me and smiled — that easy, boyish grin that always disarms me.
Akio: Hey, Kiyomi. You should come to our next cheer practice. It's fun.
Kiyomi: Fun? Watching you two scream in unison? No thanks.
Hinata: Oh, come on! We'll make you our mascot or something!
Kiyomi: Great. I've always wanted to be a giant pompom.
They both burst into laughter, and despite myself, I joined in.
It was a simple walk home, filled with silly jokes and laughter, but somewhere between those steps, I caught myself thinking something I shouldn't have.
"Maybe this is what happiness feels like."
And just as quickly, I pushed the thought away.
Because I know better.
Love — or anything close to it — doesn't last.
Still... when Akio waved goodbye and smiled at me, something inside me whispered the truth I didn't want to hear:
" I'm starting to care".
And that's the thing I can't name.