A.N. This is a long one so buckle up.
(Thomas POV)
Edythe and I watched Leah struggle internally. Her eyes were unfocused as her thoughts ran wild. One moment she was shaking her head, and then a slight nod would follow. Finally, she took a deep breath and let it out. Her eyes focused first on Edythe and then on me. I was surprised by the apologetic look she gave to Edythe before looking at me.
By the tilt of Edythe's head, she also caught the look Leah had given her.
"I don't even know where to start," Leah said, voice rough. "Because if I start at the beginning, it sounds like I'm making excuses. And if I start at the end…" Her mouth tightened. "It sounds like I'm asking to be fixed."
"Were not here to fix anything," I said quietly. "This should be about all three of us understanding each other."
She swallowed once, and began.
"My life was… perfect," Leah said, and the word came out like a bitter joke. "Not rich. Not easy. But mine. I knew who I was early. I knew I liked boys and girls. I didn't have a word for it when I was little, but I knew. I'd… tested it with childish games, and some…experimentation in my early high school days." She glanced up at Edythe, then back to the floor, cheeks coloring with the discomfort of saying it out loud. "Not with anything serious. Just enough to know I wasn't confused, or simply curious."
Neither Edythe nor I reacted, no surprise, no judgment. Just honest attention.
Leah's shoulders eased by a fraction, and she kept going.
"And then, late sophomore year, Sam happened." Her voice softened despite herself, like even saying his name pulled the memory forward. "He wasn't… loud. He wasn't like the other guys, trying to show off to get a quick score. He was steady. He looked at me like I mattered. Like I was… everything he wanted in life."
Her fingers tightened again, and her jaw set.
"And I fell… Hard." Leah's mouth twitched, humorless. "The kind of stupid, whole-body, whole-life falling that makes you plan your future like it's already written."
I stayed quiet. I could feel Edythe's attention shift, not away, but sharper, like she was bracing too.
Leah stared at her hands.
"He loved me back," she said, and for a second, there was something raw and young in her voice. "He did. It wasn't in my head. He was mine, and I was his, and it was… perfect."
She blinked fast, then continued as if she could outrun the emotion.
"We had plans. Marriage. College. Leaving Forks. Getting out." She gave a short laugh that held no joy. "I used to lie in bed and picture it like it was a movie trailer. Us somewhere sunny. Somewhere that didn't smell like rain. Him cooking terrible food, me making fun of him, both of us laughing about it. Our children's smiles…A little boy with my eyes and his chin. A daughter that looked exactly like me, Twins."
Her voice dropped.
"Then he disappeared for two weeks."
The air in the room changed.
Leah lifted her head, eyes on me now, steady, daring me to flinch.
"Two weeks," she repeated. "No warning. No explanation. Just… gone. And when he came back, he wouldn't tell me anything."
Her shoulders rose, then fell. A controlled breath.
"He was still there physically, but… not really." Leah's eyes narrowed, remembering. "He started holding parts of himself back like I hadn't earned them. Like I wasn't safe with the truth."
She swallowed.
"And that's when the anger started."
That word anger didn't sound big enough for what she meant.
"It wasn't normal anger, coming and going," Leah said. "It was like… something lit under my skin. All the time. Like I was walking around with a match in my chest, and anything could strike it."
Her gaze slid to the side, toward the window, toward the night outside.
"I thought it was because of him. Because he was lying. Because I could feel him slipping away and I couldn't grab him fast enough." Her mouth twisted. "I didn't know it was something else. Something in my blood waking up like a curse."
She drew another deep breath and then returned her eyes to mine.
"I had to find an outlet for that anger or risk it hurting the people around me, so I went to the forest cliffs. There, I could let out all the emotions that were bottled up in me privately with no one witnessing me falling apart."
Knowing what was coming next, I could only shake my head.
"But one time it turned out I wasn't alone as I thought. When I first caught a glimpse of you Thomas, I thought for a brief second that my cries had brought a story to life. You looked just like the Cold Ones that our parents warned us about in fairy tales. Impossibly pale of skin and yet with an unworldly beauty. I pushed the thought away as a foolish story and struck out at you in anger."
She let out a self-deprecating laugh.
"I returned to the half-life I was living, desperate for my cousin Emily, who was more of a sister to me, to come visit. She would help me sort everything out and give me a way to convince Sam I could handle anything he was going through. If he would just talk to me!"
I locked myself into place because I needed to fight the urge to comfort Leah as she bared her hurt and sorrow to us. I could see Edythe fighting the same urge. Our stories opened up our feelings and how they related to the others in the room. But this was Leah talking about the worst part of her life, and knowing what was coming made it all the harder to listen.
Leah paused for a second to take a drink from the glass of juice in front of her.
"Then finally Emily came to visit, in fact, she was moving to town permanently…and Sam broke up with me the next day. No hesitation at all, he made it look easy. Like it was just a logical thing to do. He wasn't torn up about it, but almost eager to get it over and done with. It was just so easy for him…"
A tear fell from her eye, just one. She didn't seem to notice it. Like she was so used to crying over these thoughts… That it was normal for a tear to slide down her cheek.
"At that point, I think I was happy for the anger. It was easy to hide behind and use to keep people away. I heard about a group of city kids that came to the beach one day and had a half-baked thought of going there to hook up with one, to see if it would help me forget about Sam for a while. Before I knew it, I was there, at the beach, and lo and behold, guess who I run into?"
The weary shake of her head and half smile didn't take away from the tear line still on her cheek.
"The giant white-haired pale man I had bitched out in the forest just recently. I studied him for a while. His strong-looking body, the short white hair ruffling in the breeze, I tried to remember what his voice sounded like but couldn't recall it clearly. This was someone who would make me forget about everything. There was so much… new about him. I told myself as I started approaching him."
Leah then looked at Edythe.
"But as I got closer, I saw the wonder on his face as he took in the ocean. That smile made my angry heart slow down, burn just a bit less. His eyes were picking things out and concentrating on them to the point I started looking where he was looking and trying to imagine what they meant to him. By the time I was standing next to him, he was looking at the small Island off the beach."
I smiled at the memory and said, "A-ka-lat." The name she had given me for the little island.
She seemed surprised, "You remember?"
"I do," I replied as I kept my smile up.
She seemed happy, "I decided right there, after just a few words, that he had my interest. Not as a simple hookup, as I had planned when I first saw him there by the water. But as someone who could maybe show me…that I was still desirable, and worth the right person's effort. But before I could begin figuring out how to connect with him, Sam and some other guys showed up. Just like that, all my anger was back, and I had to get away from there. So, I ran away like a coward."
She paused and finished the last of the juice in her glass, just as I moved to get up and refill it, Edythe already had it in her hand. "I will be right back." And in a flash, she was gone, again not trying to hide who or what she was. Moving at vampire speed, she was back just as quickly as the juice would pour into the glass.
Leah took it in stride, barely showing her surprise.
She continued once Edythe was back in her rocker. "That night was the first time I heard the rumors that Sam was asking Emily to go out with him. I didn't believe them until Emily herself came and told me about it. She was quick to assure me she felt nothing for him and would try to make him see he belonged with me. But over the next few weeks, I could see a change in her. Her lips told me one thing, but her eyes, they told me something very different. I started to take some of my anger out on her, just like everyone else. And then came the 'Bear' attack."
She shifted in her seat. "At first, I was a little happy it happened, and that horrified me. So, I started listening to every rumor, every story about what had happened. I was surprised to hear about the white-haired savior who happened to be hiking nearby when she was attacked."
She laughed a harsh laugh for a moment. "When I heard that, I actually got jealous at first. Gods, what a bitch I was being."
Edythe was quick to share a personal observation, "Edward and I have seen throughout the years that a person's first thought is rarely a good one. They tend to be selfish and self-serving. But after a person has a chance to really think about things, they usually try to be better than that first impulse. So don't beat yourself up for being human, Leah."
Leah just nodded and continued her story while looking at Edythe now. "I ran into Thomas at the hospital while I was debating on checking on Emily. Well, he knocked on my window in the middle of that debate. Happily, I was relieved when he told me she would be okay, saved me from having to forgive her enough to talk to her."
Shaking her head again, "Seeing Thomas at the Powwow was a godsend. Just having him there to talk to was like a balm for my burning heart now that Sam and Emily were officially a couple. Until he told me he was leaving. I tried to hold onto the feeling of peace he brought me, but I was sadder than I expected to hear I wouldn't see him for a long time."
She took a drink from the juice Edythe had brought her, "I feel like I have been talking for hours." She glanced at the clock on the wall, "I can't believe I haven't even been here for one yet."
Knowing that the worst was still to come, Edythe offered, "Would you like to stop here and pick it up again later?"
Leah looked away, and I could tell she actually thought about it before shaking her head. "I know this is a big information dump, but I feel like I have to get it all out at once. Nothing can move forward until I do."
I understood what she meant, so I just waited for her to continue at her own pace.
After a moment of gathering her thoughts again, Leah kept her eyes on Edythe, "My next break in what I considered my day-to-day anger was you, Edythe. I was storming through the forest, mad at myself for taking my anger out on Seth over something stupid, when I thought I smelled something familiar. It reminded me of Thomas, but it turned out to be you."
"I think it was only my anger that stopped me from making a fool out of myself when I first saw you. So beautiful, so poised. Golden eyes and copper hair, along with a body that put most people to shame. Then you went off and started talking about my new favorite subject, Thomas. And again, I felt despair. I knew, from the way you talked about him, that I would be lucky to get a second look. I couldn't even protest. I just walked away carrying what I thought were new wounds on my dying heart."
Edythe took on a thoughtful look, "I wonder how things would have been different if I had looked into your mind that night in the woods. That's something we vampires do a lot. We have so much extra time and thought speed, we do a lot of 'what ifs' in our heads while the rest of the world is sleeping."
We all got lost in that question for a moment.
But then Leah continued her story once again, "The next few months were a long, dull torture. Thomas was gone, and Sam and Emily were together. All the boys my age seemed to be putting together a club that was just for them, which obviously had to do with steroids because of how quickly they were growing. And the ever-present anger trying to turn me into a piece of charcoal."
Her breath hitched once. She forced it down.
"Then came the day of the fight with Stephanie Meyers. I broke her nose because she couldn't keep her mouth shut about Sam and me. Later that night, the school called home requesting a meeting with my parents, and that started another fight in the house."
Her eyes lost focus again as she looked back on her memories. "Mom said something that hit a nerve. And I…" Leah's throat worked. "I lost it."
Her hands shook now, just a little, like her body remembered even if she wanted it to forget.
"And I changed," Leah said. "Right there. Angry enough that it tore through me like I was paper."
My stomach tightened. I know the broad strokes of what comes next. But hearing it like this… it felt different. Like stepping into the crash site instead of reading the report.
She stared at her lap. When she spoke again, it sounded like she hated every syllable.
"Dad had come home early that day, said his chest bugged him. If I hadn't been so self-absorbed, I want to think I would have forced him to the hospital right then. But it just didn't click, and then the fight and my change. He had a heart attack and died right there… from seeing me change."
Where before she had shed one tear, now many were flowing. All I could do was offer her a Kleenex that she just balled up in her fist.
"Then out of nowhere, Seth, who watched the whole thing, changed as well. So much of that night is a blur. Voices in my head, the worst of all was Sam. Then I was reading their thoughts, and again, worst of all was Sam thinking about Emily. I was in my own personal hell, and I killed my father to get there."
This time it couldn't be stopped, I moved to the couch and went to wrap my arms around her, only to realize that Edythe had beat me to it. I didn't hesitate and wrapped my arms around both of them. Rocking back and forth on the couch as Leah cried between us.
After about ten minutes, Edythe convinced Leah to go to the bathroom with her to clean up while I did what men do in these circumstances. I sat there feeling useless. After topping off both glasses of juice, all I could do was wait.
Not long after, we were all back in our original seats, and I was glad we were almost done. I hated seeing Leah like this. Knowing how she would react to pity, I just tried to show her I was there for her.
Her voice was tired, but under control again. Leah continued, "Despite everything, I was a little comforted in a way now. I understood the anger, and I truly love the feeling of running as a wolf, how alive it makes me feel. Mom explained to me that what happened to Dad wasn't truly my fault; tests showed that he was having multiple little heart attacks all day, it was only a matter of time for the big one. She was a nurse and wouldn't have been able to do anything about it in the end. I still feel guilty, though, and probably will forever. But I will live with it and make him proud."
Leah again looked at Edythe sadly, "Besides, I had the perfect scapegoat now. All my troubles came from one source, the Cullens. If you hadn't returned, Sam would not have changed. I would be married to him by now, looking forward to leaving for college. My brother would still be a normal kid, and maybe just maybe we would have caught my dad's condition before it turned fatal. Oh, how easy it was to hate you all."
Edythe looked like she wished she could cry.
Unable to bear seeing that I cut in, "I am not so sure of that, Leah. Having three nomads in the area would probably have started this whole thing much faster. It was only because the Cullens are peaceful that the Shifter's blood woke so gradually."
Leah nodded her head, "Once I had all the information, I came to the same conclusion. But at the time it was so easy to have a target for everything that had gone wrong in my world… Then I heard you had come back, Thomas. I went with Jacob, desperate to imprint on you. There is a pull from you that I always felt, and after I first shifted, it just got stronger, even in my memories of you. That made me think I would imprint on you the next time I saw you. I hoped that since I had shifted, it would now activate, and I could have the…clarity of loving you that Sam has for Emily. But it didn't happen, and that day I felt another pull I didn't understand. That came from You Edythe."
Leah locked her eyes on Edythe, who still looked like she wished she could cry.
"I am sorry I am hurting you, but we promised the truth, and even if I don't feel that way anymore, I still had to tell you that I once did."
Edythe just nodded and continued listening.
"These last few months have been a rollercoaster of emotions for me. Learning that Cold Ones actually exist. That there are other shifters out there, we know nothing about. This pull I have to you, Thomas. The stupid way my belly flipped when you showed concern for me instead of the pity so many others gave me. Admitting to myself that I wanted a relationship with you, even with the idea of imprinting in my head."
She shook her head, "It's a wonder I haven't gone mad."
She took another drink of her juice.
"Then a call from you to meet up," She was again looking at Edythe. "Only to find out that you were going to marry Thomas. Just as I was ready to fall back into despair, you planted the seeds of a three-way relationship in my head. That was a sleepless night. I wondered if that was the reason for the pull I was feeling from both of you now?"
She let out a sigh, "By that morning, I had decided that I was willing. I just wasn't quite ready to go through with it right away, though. I would wait until after your wedding, maybe a month or two, and see if you came to me with the same idea again, or if you would change your mind and want him all to yourself after the wedding. But then you both danced with me at the wedding, how I wanted to tell you both everything then, but I stayed strong and left with Mom and Charlie."
Focusing again on Edythe, "Your promise of a meeting just a few days later was the only thing that gave me that strength, Edythe."
Leah then turned to look at me, "That brings us to today, Thomas. Bringing you to the meeting tonight was me telling the Elders and the Pack… That I was looking at you… It was me telling everyone there that I wanted to build a future with you. That I was staking my claim and intended to marry you one day. That is why the only people there were Elder's Pack members and their prospective mates."
This shocked me a bit, but just a bit. I thought it was something like that, but now I know. It also made me just about laugh out loud that Jacob brought Bella. Bet he didn't tell her the meaning either. But there was a more important question to ask right now.
"And how will the Tribe take that with me being already married to Edythe?"
Leah took a breath, "Some will think that I am simply after a strong husband. Some will think I am trying to save you from the bad influence of the Cullens and bring you closer to the Tribe. A few others will probably think I am doing it to get a rise out of Sam. Regardless, they are all wrong because they only saw you and me tonight. What I am actually doing is following the pull I have towards both of you, and the only way I can do that is to be with you both. If you will have me."
Edythe spoke first, "I think we have both told you how we feel already, and nothing you have said since then has changed my mind. I don't speak for Thomas, but I am willing to bet he feels the same way. But there is one more thing I want to go over, so when it's brought up later, you don't think I held back. Another reason I want you to join our relationship is… I cannot have children obviously, and I think that's something Thomas will want one day."
I had opened my mouth to assure Leah that I was willing to try adding her to mine and Edythe's relationship, but when I heard Edythe's last words, my mouth snapped shut.
Leah first looked worried, but then seemed to remember something and nodded. "If not for Eleraim's books, I would be afraid of disappointing you. I have not had a monthly cycle since my first change, but she wrote that she had stopped having them as well, but still became pregnant. Thomas being here is proof that she was right."
I raised my hand in a calming gesture, "Let's slow down a bit there. We are just getting our feet under us about starting this three-way relationship. It is way too early to think about children just yet."
Edythe smiled, "I know, but it was important for me to bring it up now. I don't want Leah to think I hide anything from her later on."
Then Leah added, "Besides that… Granted, I am not a virgin, but I still want to take this slow. I don't want sex to be a bandage or used to prove something other than our own feelings."
Edythe laughed, "No worries there, Leah. Thomas has some amazing things he can do to you before sex. He kept me at bay for nearly a year using tricks so our first time would be on our wedding night, and I was really pushing for it to be earlier than that."
I blushed a bit at Edythe's words, "Well, it is getting pretty late, Leah. Would you like me to take you home?"
Leah's voice came out small, but it was hers. "I don't want to leave tonight only to wake up in the morning and feel like this wasn't real."
Edythe's eyes softened. "Then don't go, stay with us tonight."
Leah looked at both of us for a minute before nodding. "Wou… Would it be too much to ask to cuddle? I miss being held, not for protection, but because someone wants me."
My chest tightened. I nodded once.
Then I looked at Edythe, "You okay with that? With all three of us in the same bed?"
Edythe's smile was quiet and sure, "It should be big enough to cuddle Leah is between us. But… if it's not pushing too much tonight, I would like a goodnight kiss…From both of you."
Leah's eyes widened, then she swallowed hard, but she didn't say no.
Which told me everything.
I stood slowly, giving Leah time to change her mind if she needed to.
She didn't.
I held out my hand again.
This time, she took it without hesitating.