My mind spun as it came to the realization, a realization that the goal I had been working towards wasn't real—it was all in my mind.
Or was it… it was the woman who had originally brought the Darkling into existence, so how could this be happening?
It was pointless nagging myself about these things when I could simply ask the very person who had told me.
Maybe all this exhaustion has made me a little hysterical. If I kept going at this rate, my body would give up on me, and I couldn't have that, so I slowly made my way toward the chair…
The chair? The chair that was no longer there. Had the woman dismantled it before leaving?
I shook my head. There was no point in wracking my brain over this. All my questions would have answers in the morning, so I made my way over to something that hadn't changed: the tree that had been shot down.
I laid myself against the little stump that remained and closed my eyes, yet I couldn't fall asleep, so I just sat there with my eyes closed until I would, or else my thoughts would run rampant.
-
I awoke feeling oddly refreshed, like I had gotten a proper amount of sleep, but that wasn't the only odd thing—the woman hadn't awakened me today.
So I waited and waited for her to appear, but it just didn't happen. No matter how long I waited, even when I tried calling out for her a couple of times, she didn't appear.
"Things aren't what they seem."
Oh.
The realization hit me harder than I expected: neither the Darkling nor the woman, nor even the snake Lysandra, truly existed. It was all like a dream—unironically.
So why did the woman seem so… resigned?
My mind flashed through the little memories I had of her. She was quiet, straightforward, and tender. She didn't openly express herself, but she seemed so real. Throughout our training, she never seemed to mind any of my mistakes or the many questions I asked about Shadow Step. Last night I could've sworn I felt her touch—I felt her stroke my hair. Her touch was gentle; she had treated me like I was delicate, even more so than that tiny snake.
But the few days I spent with her weren't real.
It was all just a false dream.
My eyes burned, and I squeezed them shut.
What was the point of this trial? Was it simply to teach me Shadow Step, or was there something more to it? Was it teaching me how to differentiate reality from fiction?
I didn't know, but I knew one thing—and that was that it hurt.
Though I hadn't seen this woman a day in my life, it felt like I had just lost touch with someone important to me. Someone I had long forgotten.
But that could just be because she reminded me of Stella.
I began to walk. And walk. Before I knew it, time had flown by, and I was at the magnificent river I had seen before.
Phosphorescent sparks blinked and flickered far below, too far for me to reach, giving the impression of a starry sky.
I stared up at the sky, now filled with stars that twinkled ever so slightly.
In a sense, it felt hard to face reality—a reality where connections between two people could simply not be.
A relationship you nurture could be no more than a one-sided experience: one where you are the only one moved, the only one who benefits—or the one who doesn't.
Had the woman benefited from me?
Had I made her feel any more… real?
Though she wasn't here with me physically, she was still there for me. And that was all that mattered. She's the only reason I learned Shadow Step, the only reason I came to terms with the fact that none of this was real.
I felt bittersweet, then stepped into the only other thing that hadn't changed within this dream—but this time, I sank deep into the river.
It felt cold. Even colder than I thought the Darkling was. I shouldn't have been able to breathe, yet I was breathing better than ever.
I felt my arms and legs slowly lose feeling. My fingertips went numb. I completely lost all sense of feeling as my eyelids grew heavy.
Thank you for successfully helping me throughout this small journey, mysterious woman.
Through the waters, I saw a faint ripple.
And then—her voice.
It shot out, faint and muffled, but I could barely hear it as the soft vibrations from her words echoed through the dimming light of the night sky:
"You're welcome, …..—"
She had called me something, yet I couldn't make it out. The only thing I could see was her dark silhouette as she peered below.
I slowly closed my eyes, cherishing the little time we had left.