Hey, Kid.
Hey, Folks.
I hope you all have been well, as always.
I've been okay for the most part, you know?
Life doesn't get any easier; we just get stronger.
Or we don't.
Get stronger, Kid.
Don't struggle from paycheck to paycheck like me, lbvs.
Don't pour all of your best years into the wrong people.
Try to search out genuine people to surround yourself with, who will make things a bit easier in the long run.
I have quite the small group of friends, mind you.
Maybe five good and fair people.
You don't need more than that, I assure you.
And even that many may be hard to come by.
Just keep your head up, and keep going.
Get stronger so that your life will be that much easier.
I will see you back here soon enough, Kid.
You as well, Folks.
Enjoy.
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January 9th, 2020.
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Dear You.
Hey, Kid.
How's it been going?
Not great here in 2020, yet not so bad...
Bitter-sweet.
Your mom's grandma passed away a few days ago...
She's been very down and worried about her grandpa and father's condition.
They are all so sad.
So very sad...
Death is never easy to deal with, but pain fades with time.
Remember that, Kid.
One day, your mom and I won't be here, and that's ok.
It's just part of being human.
I suppose it's not our place to question why we must expire...
But think on it anyway.
Knowledge is power.
I'm starting a new job soon.
XXXXX Security.
Better pay.
Hope it leads to a better year than last year.
I love you, Kid.
-Dad.
-----
Oh, I remember this episode of my life.
The very last months before COVID-19 would take the U.S. by storm.
-My exe had lost her grandma to a combination of illness and age, and it had hit her and her family pretty hard.
It was also an excuse for her to treat me worse and push me even further away.
Sheesh.
Looking back is wild and cathartic.
Realizing that I was little more than a live-in resource for her has been very sobering for me here in 2025, but it has also given me the last bit of strength that I needed to banish her from my heart and mind.
To read these old journals and see from the outside how deeply and unconditionally I loved her, how love-bombed and manipulated I was...
It hits me on a whole different, very new level, you know?
I do my best to not be bitter about it, Kid.
I do my best to just reflect on what it was, and lean into what will be.
Life happens, and everything happens for a reason.
Make clear and clean-cut choices as best and as often as you know, Kid.
Life will demand nothing less.
-She ain't your mom, Kid. Lbvs. I can promise you that much.
-I still don't know why we expire, nor will I ever, I am sure.
And you know something? I am okay with that.
-That new security company sucked donkey dick. I worked in a trucking/shipping yard, and I was outside for just about 75% of my shift.
In WISCONSON!
Fuck that, lol.
Outside of that, my exe-best friend/god brother worked with me, and he became a power-hungry, power-abusing dick.
My first boss was corrupt as shit, and fabricated hours and pay as she saw fit.
That didn't last long, and she was ousted and kicked out of the company.
My second boss was no better and would only hire young women whom he could sleep with.
This resulted in an influx of shitty, lazy, uninspired employees whom I had to train and deal with.
My exe's brother also worked there, as I had gotten him a job...
He was...
Let me not talk about people.
It is 2025, and I am tryin' to be beyond such low-energy things, lbvs.
I am going to stop here only because I am sure that I will start getting into spoilers should I say too much more lol.
I am sure that I wrote several deep entries centered around that horrible period in my life.
I will leave you all at that, and we will see just how long it took me to write the next journal entry soon enough, lol.
This old book just may be drawing to a close sooner than I thought, but you want to know something interesting?
I stumbled across a second Baby journal that I had started, so ya'll be set for s second Volume lol.
We will see how this one turns out!
I love you, Kid.
You as well, Folks.
I will see you all back here soon enough, yeah?
Safe travels.
And as always:
Stay safe.
Stay healthy.
Stay vigilant.
-Redd.