Thus began a full 30 minutes of dodging questions from Andy and Eric. You walked together down to the bodega and grabbed your lunches, then back up to the conference room, and then finished eating, and still they were pestering you.
"Alright, enough," you said, not for the first time.
"Dude," Eric said. "Just tell us. We won't say anything."
"First, that's not true, you would say something pretty much as soon as the girls got back. Second, I'm not telling you anything, at all, ever about my personal life since this is how you reacted to just knowing I was going on a date," you said.
"But did you see the titties, though?" Andy asked.
You stood up and moved next to Andy, put your hands on both his shoulders and looked him right in his eyes. "Andy. If you ask me that again, I'm going to punch you right in the dick. OK?"
"That wasn't a no," he said.
You slowly clenched a fist and then let it go, knowing it wasn't worth it.
"Whatever, dude," Eric sighed. "One fucking exciting thing happens in this place, and you won't share. This is such a dud of a summer."
"Oh, is that right?" Mr Garrisson asked from the doorway.
"Uh, sir! I was just- I meant- Ah-" Eric stammered.
"It's almost work time, where are the other two?" Garrison asked, levelling a stare at the three of you.
"Sabrina, Gemma and I were in extra early this morning, so I told them I'd cover a bit of a longer lunch, sir," you said. "They shouldn't be much longer. Was there something you needed?"
Garrisson grimaced, eyeing the three of you. "Fine. John, come with me. You other two, keep working. We need those Anderson files fully documented by end of day."
"Yes, sir," you all said, and you quickly stood to follow the senior lawyer.
"What can I help you with, sir?" you asked.
"I need a distraction," Garrisson said. "One of the girls would have worked a lot better, but you'll have to do."
For more than a moment you had a stray, disturbing thought that Garrisson was about to try and get sexual favours out of you. There's no way... right? If you were him, you wouldn't do it, but you could understand the desire to get a little something from the pretty female interns. But... surely not anyone....
Garrisson led you into his office and shut the door.
You gulped.
"Sit," he ordered, pointing at the chair in front of his desk. You followed his direction and he stood right next to you, his crotch just under your sightline.
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Oh, God, it's happening, you panicked internally. What do I do? What do I do?
"We've got a big deposition happening in about an hour, John," he said. "And we know we've got this guy dead to rights, but he's a fucking brick wall. Fucking anal retentive prick." Garrisson moved around to the back of his desk and opened a drawer, rummaging around.
Oh, thank God this isn't happening, you thought, breathing in and out quickly.
"We need to put him on the back foot. Get him distracted. Annoyed. Here," he handed you a heavy, metal pen. "Click it."
You held it up and clicked the end. Click-click.
"Alright, that'll work. Come to the main conference room three minutes after 1:30 pm. Exactly three minutes. Bring a notepad and that pen. When you come in, mumble an apology. Just something weak. Then you're going to sit behind me and Barbara and pretend to take notes, but you're going to click that pen a lot. Not constantly, or rhythmically. Just randomly and frequently. At some point, I'll signal you and you can interrupt to get a drink of water from the table. That's it, that's all you have to do. Got it?"
"Yes, sir," you nodded. The assignment was definitely weird, but you followed the logic. If this guy was as exacting and straight-laced as Garrisson said, everything you did was going to annoy the shit out of him.
"Good," he nodded. "Now get out of here."
"Yes, sir," you nodded and left.
Back in the intern conference room Eric and Andy immediately wanted to know what was going on, and you told them Garrisson wanted you to annoy someone in a deposition.
"Are you kidding me?" Eric said. "I can be annoying. Why do you get all the special assignments? Did you blow Garrisson or something?"
"No, I didn't blow Garrisson," you said. "Have you considered maybe I'm just lucky?"
"Yeah, lucky as fuck," he grumbled. "Special assignments, special treatment from the girls. You got a horseshoe stuck up your ass or something?"
"Naw, I jerked off with a rabbit's foot in my hand," you said. "Makes all the difference."
"Really?" Andy asked.
"No," you said. "Dude, you really need to lay off the weed."
"Well, at least I don't jerk off with rabbits," he said.
You were saved from answering by your phone pinging.
Sabrina: Come down to the lobby.
You checked the time - it was still only 12:40, so you had time.
"I'm hitting the head," you said.
"We just had lunch," Eric said. "Do you do any actual work around here?"
"Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time," you said.
Andy, of course, laughed at the ancient meme. Eric just rolled his eyes and grumbled.
You headed out to the elevators, wondering what Sabrina and Gemma had in store.