The sun had begun its slow descent, casting long shadows over the Hakurei Shrine as Kiru made his way up the stone steps. The jingling of coins in his pocket was a small reminder of why he was here today—to leave a donation for Reimu. It wasn't much, but considering she dealt with the insanity of Gensokyo on a daily basis, it felt like the least he could do.
As he reached the top, the tranquil evening air was suddenly interrupted by a hearty laugh. There, sitting on the shrine's porch, was a small figure, swinging her legs as she drank straight from a massive gourd. Her wild ginger hair and signature horns immediately told him who she was—Suika Ibuki, one of Gensokyo's legendary Oni.
She took another swig, then blinked as she noticed him. A wide, tipsy grin spread across her face.
"Hey there! You're that strange outsider I heard Reimu talking about, right?" she called out, waving lazily with her free hand. "Wanna drink? You look like you could use some sake."
Kiru arched a brow, pausing mid-step. "Do you just offer anyone you meet a drink from your... whatever that thing is?"
Suika patted her gourd proudly. "Only the ones who look stressed." She then tilted her head, eyeing him curiously. "And you, my friend, look like you could use a lot of sake. C'mooooon, drink with me!"
Kiru sighed, scratching the back of his head. "I dunno... I don't usually drink."
Suika let out an exaggerated gasp, clutching her chest as if he had just told her the worst possible news. "You haven't drank before?! Then you haven't lived!"
Before he could react, Suika reached out and, with Oni strength far beyond what her small frame suggested, yanked him down to sit beside her. The next thing he knew, her gourd was practically shoved against his lips.
"Just a sip!" she insisted, grinning mischievously.
Realizing there was no getting out of this, Kiru relented, tilting his head back and taking a drink. Immediately, a strong, burning sensation hit his throat, the liquid running down like fire. His eyes widened slightly—it was potent.
'Alright, I should be fine…' he thought, activating Shaper to modify his body slightly, increasing his alcohol tolerance just in case.
[TIMESKIP]
He was not fine.
Kiru had vastly underestimated the strength of Suika's sake, and now he was sitting cross-legged on the shrine porch, giggling like an idiot. His face was flushed, and his body felt warm—almost too warm. Suika, equally tipsy but far more accustomed to the drink, was laughing alongside him, waving her gourd around as if it were a trophy.
"Haha!—A-And let me tell you about Sakuya!" Kiru slurred, swaying slightly. "That woman can cook! Like, I'd marry her right now if Remilia wouldn't throw a hissy fit over it!"
Suika smirked. "Oh yeah? She does seem like she'd make a good wife—but she needs to drink more! Too serious, that one."
Kiru pointed at her in agreement, nodding furiously. "Exactly! hic Oh! And where do you think I should take Yukari?"
Suika tapped her chin in exaggerated thought, then snapped her fingers. "Ooooh! Take her to a party! Do older women like parties? Everyone likes parties!"
Before Kiru could respond, a familiar presence drifted over them, her red eyes narrowed.
"There you are, Kiru!" Rumia huffed, crossing her arms. "I've been looking for you! ...Wait." She narrowed her eyes further. "Are you drunk?"
Kiru's response was immediate. His hazy vision locked onto Rumia, and without a second thought, he lunged forward and pulled her into a tight hug, lifting her off the ground like a plush toy.
"Rumiaaaa~!" he cooed, nuzzling into her like a child with a stuffed animal. "You're my best little companion! You're so cute, and you try to eat me, but it's okay 'cause I looooove you and stuff!"
Rumia's face instantly turned red. "K-Kiru! D-Don't say weird stuff like that!" she stammered, struggling in his grasp.
Suika, thoroughly entertained, giggled and held out her gourd toward Rumia. "Here, drink with us!"
Rumia hesitated, but after a moment, she sighed and reached for the gourd. "…just a little."
[ANOTHER TIMESKIP]
A little turned into a lot.
Now, the three of them were stumbling through the shrine grounds, hopelessly drunk. The night was cool, and the sky stretched above them in an endless sea of stars.
"I feel sooooooo free!" Rumia giggled, her usual presence drowned out by intoxicated joy. She was comfortably resting in Kiru's arms, her legs swinging as he carried her.
Suika, now perched on Kiru's back, clung to him with a big grin. "This is the best!" she declared. "I feel like I'm flying!"
Kiru staggered slightly but kept walking, laughing to himself. "I feel like Luke carrying Yoda… but instead of an old green alien, it's a hic cute Oni, and I've got a shadow youkai in my arms."
Then, suddenly, a new presence wrapped around his waist. He glanced down in confusion, only to find a pair of arms latched onto him like a koala. A pair of vacant, yet oddly cheerful eyes stared up at him.
Kiru blinked. "...How did you get here?" He squinted. "...Wait, who are you?"
Koishi Komeiji giggled, tightening her grip around his waist. "You're funny! Wanna be my new friend?! Let's play a game!"
"Ooooh! I like games!" Suika cheered, throwing her arms up.
"Yeah! Let's play something fun!" Rumia added, nodding drunkenly.
Kiru, caught up in the energy of the moment, grinned. "Okie dokie! Let's hic just do whatever game comes to mind first! We'll be a team, too!"
The four of them—drunk, chaotic, and completely ridiculous—stumbled off into the night.
It was only a matter of time before someone—probably Reimu—would have to clean up the mess.
[ONE MORE TIMESKIP]
Kiru awoke to the sensation of his brain trying to escape from his skull. A dull, throbbing pain pulsed through his head, his entire body sluggish as if he had been run over by a stampede of cow youkai. His mouth was dry, his limbs felt like lead, and the room around him swayed slightly as he groaned and sat up.
"Ugh… what the hell happened last night?"
Bracing himself, he activated Shaper, focusing on purging the alcohol from his system. Almost instantly, the headache dulled before disappearing completely, replaced by a refreshing clarity. His muscles loosened, and his sluggishness faded as his body rapidly recovered from the hangover.
"Note to self," Kiru muttered to himself, stretching out his arms. "Next time I drink with Suika, I'm boosting my alcohol resistance to the max."
As his senses sharpened, he finally took a good look at his surroundings.
And immediately, he wished he hadn't.
The room was an unnatural fusion of wood, vines, and something… fleshy. The walls pulsed subtly, as if alive, their organic texture shifting ever so slightly under the dim glow of bioluminescent fungi. Thick, twisting roots and bone-like structures jutted from the ceiling, curving into spiraling patterns, giving the entire structure an eerie, eldritch beauty.
It was utterly unnatural.
His eyes darted downward, where two familiar figures lay beside him. Suika, still clutching a somehow full sake gourd, snored lightly, her ginger hair a complete mess. Rumia, curled up like a cat, let out a sleepy mumble as she buried her face against Kiru's side.
Then there was the third girl.
Kiru frowned. 'Wait. Who the hell is that?'
The greenish haired girl was draped over his waist, arms wrapped around him in a loose embrace. Her expression was serene, a dreamy smile on her face. She had a closed-eye attached to wire looking stuff around her chest, and something about her presence made Kiru's mind feel hazy—like he had forgotten something important.
And then it hit him.
"Koishi."
Koishi Komeiji. A youkai who had closed off her conscious mind. She erased herself from people's awareness, making it impossible to remember her normally.
And the fact that Kiru had no memory of meeting her meant that she had probably been here all night... or it was him being drunk, probably a combination of both.
'Nope. Not dealing with that.'
Equipping Xavier's X-Gene, he combined its powerful telepathy with Shaper, carefully restructuring his brain. It was delicate work—tweaking his neural pathways just enough to resist Koishi's subconscious effect her power had.
The moment he finished, his perception of her shifted. It was as if the fog surrounding her presence lifted, and suddenly, he could remember everything—her clinging to his waist, laughing at his drunken antics, her fascination with his powers.
But before he could fully process the situation, movement at the entrance caught his eye.
A group of figures knelt before him, clad in dark robes adorned with golden markings. Their expressions were filled with awe, reverence—devotion.
And then, in perfect unison, they bowed.
"The Great One has awoken!" one of them declared, voice trembling with emotion. "All hail Kiru! Our savior and lord of the unknown!"
Kiru stared at them.
"…What?"
The entire group erupted into praises. Some muttered prayers under their breath, others clutched strange sigils, and all of them wore expressions of absolute worship.
Before he could even attempt to process the madness, one of them stepped forward. A woman with striking red eyes and long black hair, her robes more elaborate than the others, lowered herself onto one knee.
"My lord," she spoke with deep reverence, "you need not feign humility before your devoted followers. We all bear witness to the godly power you displayed last night as you built this temple before our very eyes. We are the first of your worshippers, and I am honored to serve as your chosen High Priestess."
Kiru dragged a hand down his face. "Oh no. What did I do?"
His mind scrambled to piece together the events of last night. Between bouts of drinking, ridiculous antics, and stumbling around Gensokyo, he and the others had run into a group of humans. And in his drunken infinite wisdom, Kiru had—
—proclaimed himself as a new god.
—bestowed "divine knowledge" upon them by exposing them to Kaleidoscope, giving them a glimpse of the multiverse.
—constructed a massive temple using Shaper, blending organic material's together to create an eldritch cathedral.
And now, he had a full-fledged cult.
"...Oh. Oh no."
A sleepy yawn interrupted his horror.
"You didn't tell me you were a god, Kiru," Suika chuckled, rubbing her eyes. She glanced at the bowing cultists and smiled. "That's coooool. You got your own religion now."
"I do NOT have a cult!" Kiru hissed, exasperated.
Akane, the supposed High Priestess, ignored him. "Last night, my lord, you granted me the honor of leading your faithful. You even graced me with a sacred kiss, marking me as yours."
Kiru choked on his own spit.
'WHAT?!'
Face burning, he immediately used Shaper to check her body for any 'ahem' further evidence of activities.
Nothing. Thank god. Just kissing.
Akane's expression was one of unwavering devotion. "Please, my lord, guide us! Now that you have awoken, tell us what you would have us do in your name!"
Rumia, still half-asleep, blinked. "What's happening?"
Kiru opened his mouth to immediately shut this insanity down… but then he hesitated.
These people were genuinely happy. They looked like they had found a purpose. And while he could forcibly erase their memories, the idea unsettled him.
After a long pause, he sighed. 'Fine. If I'm going to be their 'god,' I might as well set some ground rules.'
Standing tall, he spoke.
"Very well… my followers. My first decree is simple—be good people. No evil deeds, no harming others. Also… remember to have fun?"
The cultists erupted in cheers.
"Write that down! The First Commandments of the Great One!"
Koishi giggled, spinning in place. "Ooooh, this is fun! What now?"
A robed figure hesitantly raised a hand. "Would you like human sacrifices, my lord?"
"NO!" Kiru blurted, waving his hands frantically. "Absolutely not! No sacrifices!"
Rumia, who had been about to say yes, pouted. "Aw…"
Akane nodded solemnly. "Then what shall we offer you?"
Kiru exhaled. 'Okay, think. What's harmless but still lets them express devotion?'
"...Sing for me?" he said finally.
Immediately, the cultists cheered, eager to compose hymns in his honor.
Suika laughed, leaning against Kiru. "Maaaaaan, I can't wait 'til Reimu sees this."
Kiru paled, dread settling in.
[AN ANGRY SHRINE MAIDEN LEARNING THE NEWS LATER]
Kiru was still processing the mess he'd gotten himself into when a powerful, very familiar presence surged through the air. A wave of spiritual pressure rolled over the temple like a stormfront.
And then, he heard it.
"KIRUUUUUUU!!"
Suika snickered, lazily tilting her head up. "Welp. Here comes the shrine maiden herself~"
Kiru barely had time to react before the temple doors slammed open with enough force to rattle the fleshy walls. The air itself seemed to tremble as Reimu Hakurei stormed in, her crimson and white shrine maiden outfit billowing slightly as she marched forward, her gohei gripped tightly in one hand.
Her usually calm, somewhat lazy expression was nowhere to be seen. Instead, her brows were furrowed in rage, her eyes practically burning with irritation... was it bad that he got use to that expression on her now?
"What," she seethed, stopping right in front of Kiru, "the hell is this?!"
Kiru gulped. "Uh… good morning?"
Reimu's gaze swept across the nightmare cathedral he had apparently built, her scowl deepening as she took in the pulsating organic walls, the eerie plant-like structures, and the glowing fungi casting unsettling shadows.
"…What," she asked, voice dripping with barely restrained irritation, "am I even looking at?"
Kiru hesitated before answering.
"My… temple?"
WHACK!
Reimu's gohei slammed against his forehead, making him stagger back. "OW! What was that for?!"
"For being an idiot!" Reimu snapped. She gestured aggressively at the walls. "Why is it breathing? Why does it look like something out of a horror novel?! Why does it feel like it's watching me?!"
"Okay, okay, I admit it's a bit unsettling," Kiru said, rubbing his forehead. "But in my defense, I was completely wasted when I made it!"
Reimu narrowed her eyes. "Excuse me?"
Suika grinned, nudging Kiru. "Yep. He was drunk as hell~"
Kiru immediately pointed at her. "IT'S HER FAULT!"
Reimu gave Suika a look. "You got him that drunk?"
Suika shrugged. "Hey, I just offered the drink. He's the one who didn't hold back."
"Liar!" Kiru accused. "You forced me to drink!"
Suika giggled. "Details, details. besides you didn't struggle that much~"
Kiru then had to explain how this all happened to Reimu best he could.
Reimu massaged her temples. "So let me get this straight. While drunk, you—" she pointed at Kiru, "—ran into some random humans and decided to declare yourself a god?"
He sighed. "I was joking! I didn't think they'd actually believe me!"
Reimu gave him a deadpan stare. "And then you used your weird reality-warping powers to give them a vision of the multiverse and then build a giant eldritch looking temple?"
Kiru grimaced. "…Yeah. That part was probably... yeah."
Reimu's grip on her gohei tightened. "Probably?! KIRU, you just made yourself a deity in Gensokyo! Do you have any idea how much of a problem this is?!"
Kiru groaned. "Look, I know this is bad, but I can fix it! I just… don't know how yet."
Reimu exhaled sharply. "Unbelievable. This is why I hate dealing with outsiders."
Akane, who had been silently observing the conversation, finally stepped forward and knelt before Reimu. "Oh, great Hakurei shrine maiden, we deeply respect your divine authority, but we are honored to follow the Great One. Surely, you see his wisdom and grandeur?"
Reimu gave Akane a flat look before turning back to Kiru. "You've corrupted them."
"I DID NOT!" Kiru said, exasperated. "They chose to worship me! And I made sure they're not doing anything evil! I even told them to be good people and have fun!"
Reimu sighed. "…Seriously?"
"Yeah!" Kiru gestured to the cultists, who were happily singing praises about his divine wisdom. "See? No human sacrifices! No crazy doomsday prophecies! Just… enthusiastic religious fanboys."
Reimu pinched the bridge of her nose. "This is giving me a headache."
Suika patted her on the thigh. "Relax, Reimu~ It's not like he's trying to take over Gensokyo or anything."
"Yet." Reimu shot Kiru a glare.
"I DON'T WANT TO!" Kiru protested. "I just wanna live my life in peace! But apparently, I drunkenly started a cult and now I have to deal with it!"
Koishi, who had been quietly hanging onto Kiru's side, giggled. "I think it's fun~"
Reimu groaned. "Of course you do." She then paced back and forth, thinking. "Okay. Options. Option one: I beat the crap out of you until you dissolve this nonsense."
Kiru paled. "Let's, uh, put a pin in that one?"
Reimu ignored him. "Option two: We just leave it and hope it doesn't turn into something worse."
The cultists cheered. "Yes! Let us serve the Great One forever!"
Reimu shot Kiru another look. "Yeah. Not happening."
Kiru sighed. "Look, Reimu. I get that this is a problem, but what if—" He hesitated, then said, "What if we just manage it? Like… instead of forcing them to stop, we make sure they don't do anything dangerous?"
Reimu raised an eyebrow. "You want me to let you run your cult?"
Kiru held up his hands. "Think about it! If I suddenly disappear or force them to stop, who knows what they'll do? They might double down and turn into some crazy extremist group. But if we just regulate it, we can keep things under control."
Reimu tapped her gohei against her palm, deep in thought.
Kiru continued. "I'll make sure they follow Gensokyo's rules. No shady business, nothing that would make you wanna exterminate them or whatever you'd do with humans. They'll just be a weird, harmless group of worshippers."
Reimu sighed. "Ugh. I hate that this actually makes sense."
Kiru smiled slightly. "So… truce?"
Reimu glared at him for a moment before exhaling. "Fine. But I swear, Kiru—if this gets out of hand, I will purify your ass."
Kiru chuckled nervously. "Duly noted."
As Reimu finally sat down, rubbing her temples, Suika laughed. "Man, this is way better than I thought it'd be!"
Reimu shot her a glare. "Shut up, Suika."
After the debate about what to do with Kiru's newfound cult, things had finally settled down—at least for the moment. His worshippers were still happily singing praises in his name, Suika was still drinking like nothing had happened, and Koishi along with Rumia had curled up next to him, Koishi occasionally giggling to herself.
Meanwhile, Reimu sat cross-legged on the temple's odd, pulsing floor, rubbing her temples as if trying to ward off a migraine. Kiru, now seated across from her, watched nervously as she exhaled a long, weary sigh.
"Alright," she finally said, breaking the silence. "Let's talk about the other problem with your little stunt."
Kiru raised an eyebrow. "Other problem? What, is there more than just me 'accidentally' creating a cult?"
Reimu gave him an exasperated look. "Yes, obviously." She pointed her gohei at him. "You may have convinced me to tolerate this—for now—but do you seriously think the actual goddesses of Gensokyo are going to just let this slide?"
Kiru blinked. "...Oh."
Suika burst out laughing.
"And they're not gonna be happy that some random outsider—who isn't even a proper god—is stealing worshippers from them." Reimu said with a sigh.
Kiru scratched his head. "I mean… I didn't mean to steal anyone's worshippers. These guys just decided to worship me."
"Doesn't matter," Reimu said bluntly. "Worship is power to gods, and you just made yourself a direct competitor to them—intentionally or not."
Kiru grimaced. "Oh. So, uh… what happens now?"
Reimu gave him a look. "What do you think? They're probably gonna pay you a visit."
"...And by 'visit,' do you mean, 'sit down for tea and have a nice chat' or 'try to beat the crap out of me'?" Kiru asked.
Reimu shrugged. "Depends on the goddess. Some of them might just be curious. Others? Well, you might wanna be ready for a fight."
Suika grinned and smacked Kiru on the back. "Oh, this is gonna be great! Can't wait to see how you handle 'em!"
Koishi giggled. "It's exciting, though, isn't it? You'll get to meet real gods~"
Rumia just tugged Kiru's sleeve to ask him for some bacon as he sighed and handed her some that she happily munched on.
Kiru groaned and leaned back against the oddly warm, plant-like wall of his temple. "Okay, so which gods am I actually pissing off with this?"
Reimu crossed her arms. "Let's start with the most obvious ones: the Moriya Shrine."
Suika chuckled. "Oh yeah, those girls are definitely gonna be interested in you."
Reimu nodded. "They're one of the most worshipped in Gensokyo. The Moriya Shrine's got Kanako Yasaka, a war goddess who thrives on gathering faith and expanding her influence. She's probably gonna see you as some weird anomaly that needs to be handled."
"Then there's Suwako Moriya, the original goddess of the shrine. She's less aggressive than Kanako, but she's still a goddess of earth and curses, so you don't wanna underestimate her." Reimu continued.
"And don't forget Sanae," Rumia casually added.
Kiru frowned. "Wait, Sanae? She's a goddess?"
Reimu waves a hand. "Sort of, she's the direct descendent of Suwako and has the potential to be one even if she isn't technically, and she's probably gonna be the first one sent to investigate you."
Kiru let out a longer sigh. "Anyone else?"
Reimu tapped her chin. "There's also the Hakurei God—the one I technically serve."
Kiru perked up. "Wait, you have a god?"
Reimu scowled slightly. "Yeah, not that I've ever met them directly. They're kinda… distant." She exhaled. "Still, if word reaches them that you're setting up your own divine following, they might actually take an interest."
Kiru chuckled nervously. "And by 'take an interest,' you mean…?"
Reimu shrugged. "Could be anything, really. But considering how little direct intervention they usually have, I wouldn't worry too much... for now."
Kiru sighed in relief this time. "Okay. Anyone else?"
Reimu tapped her gohei against the floor. "Well, there's the various minor deities scattered across Gensokyo—river gods, mountain gods, fortune gods—but most of them probably won't care unless you start stepping on their turf."
Kiru ran a hand through his hair. "Great. So... I guess I should prepare for some guests to visit me and a possible confrontation?"
"Pretty much." Reimu nodded.
Suika grinned. "Sounds like fun!"
Kiru exhaled and looked around the temple. His followers were still happily chanting prayers, completely unaware of the divine mess he was about to get himself into.
"So," he muttered. "Any advice for not having to deal with an angry war goddess?"
Reimu smarmed. "You could always just dissolve the cult."
"Not happening as mentioned already. Next option?" Kiru groaned.
Reimu held in a sigh. "Then you'd better be ready to prove yourself. Gods respect power, and right now, you're just some wannabe deity with a weird almost Lovecraftian temple."
"Oh, I can help with that! Let's get you really strong so you don't get your ass kicked!" Suika smiled while holding up her drink.
Kiru shook his head. "I am strong. But I don't wanna fight every god that comes knocking... sounds like a lot of work for me right now, yeah I'm lazy sometimes so sue me."
Reimu shrugged. "Then you'd better have a damn good excuse when they show up. If you can convince them you're not a threat, maybe they'll leave you alone."
Kiru sighed. "That's a big maybe."
Koishi smiled. "Maybe they'll like you~"
Reimu stood up and stretched. "Either way, you'd better get ready. I wouldn't be surprised if Sanae—or even Kanako herself—shows up in the next few days."
Suika clapped Kiru on the back. "Relax! Worst case scenario, you get smacked around a bit. Best case? You gain some divine cred."
Kiru sighed, already dreading what was coming next. Rumia then offers him a bacon and he takes it before ripping into it as he snacks down on it.
(TO BE CONTINUED)