The floor was cold against her bare feet as Nova rose for the morning. Stretching her taut muscles, she stood and released a soft groan before padding to her closet. As she pulled on her first layer, it had gotten much colder over the last few weeks. She paused, staring down at her arm and the iridescent tattoo that seemed to glitter more prominently in the moonlight. A longing ache settled in her chest, something warm and painful at once.
Shoving the feeling aside with a scowl, she tied and zipped her leathers into place to keep out the brisk wind, slid her silver hunting knife into place in her boot, picked up her wooden basket, and stepped out the door. Freezing in place, she stared into mounds of pillowy snow. She hadn't realized just how cold it had gotten, nor had she anticipated the sight to fill her with…joy.
With the glistening ice and the clumps that still fell above her, the wonderful scent of something filled her with warmth. It was similar to her pillow, which she hadn't washed since she'd arrived, terrified she might lose that bit of serenity of going to sleep at night.
Nova stepped forward and smiled slightly at the crunch under her boot. As appealing as it would be to lie down and roll about, she had a task to complete.
Quiet as the snow that fell, she moved into the forest and gazed up at the skeletal trees above in search of anything that could be used for nutrients. While the fish had become scarce, as had the wild game, Nova was on a mission to find sustainable items that others might not think about. Over the past few weeks, she'd gathered everything from acorns (careful not to invade a squirrel's stash), mushrooms in the damp soil, and berries in bushels. She'd been able to deliver the pine nuts, mushrooms, and berries to Velaris, but rather than handing them out, she gave them to Rita.
Using the ingredients, she prepared dishes to distribute to families at no cost, with one compromise Nova had insisted on. Half of what she made was to be sent to the Court of Nightmares. The hesitation had been heavy in the room, but Nova wouldn't budge.
"If I go to the trouble of scavenging it, they get half. Nothing less."
After Mor finally agreed, Nova had happily gathered since then.
Now, with the chill of winter in the Night Court, Nova had less to choose from to bring back. Cranberries were an easy thing to gather and plentiful when the animals hadn't gotten there first, but she had limitations. She couldn't afford to go too deeply into the forest. Closer to the mountains, where more dangerous creatures lurked. Bears and wolves would be the least of her problems if she encountered something from Nesta's gruesome tales.
Picking the berries first, Nova filled her basket to the brim and set it down at the base of the tree. She covered it in a white cloth to match the snow, then, using a rope and pulley, she twisted one end to a high branch and the other end to the basket's handles, and hoisted the basket up high to hopefully disguise it for a time as she moved on to another task.
With each step she took, Nova's eyes swept her surroundings, forcing herself to stay focused. Flipping through the pages of her memory, she envisioned oyster mushrooms and blueberries. They could withstand the cold, Ana had taught her one night in the cafeteria. She recalled a time in her life when she thought it was a waste of time to learn from books with Ana when she could go out and do it herself. Now, she was forever grateful for those lessons.
While she didn't find any blueberries in this section, she managed a score of a fallen log riddled with turkey tail. After gathering them carefully, she started her way back to her cranberry basket, but withered dahlia's from the clearing a few meters away caught her eye. Nova stepped off the path and through the sparse treeline. She smiled as she kneeled into the snow, happy to have seen the peaks of the petals before they could become too covered.
Withdrawing her knife, she cleared away the fluff on top and cut around with careful strokes. Careful not to damage the tubers hidden beneath, she eventually pulled three from the soil's rocky grip. She'd have to remember to come back to this spot, she thought, as a low howl floated on the air, followed by an answering call.
They were much closer now than they were before. Frowning, Nova held her findings to her stomach and retreated to the tree with her floating cranberries. As quickly as possible, she lowered her basket, put her mushrooms and tubers inside, and walked back to her barracks where she could already taste the hot stew she'd warm over the fire.
With a red face, she glanced over her shoulder at the distant sound of howling and entered. She set her basket on the table and stripped down to her underwear, shuddering as her wet hair clung against her back. Wasting no time, she redressed in a wool sweater, which didn't swallow her. It was big enough, but it didn't conform to her. She had a feeling Cassian may have used it in the past.
A fresh pair of socks and leggings later, Nova was ready for breakfast. She'd use some of her gathered items from the morning in the broth Rita had given. The flavors didn't always complement each other, but that didn't stop her from shoveling it in.
Nova stirred the cauldron to let it simmer and settled at the table. She'd winnow to Velaris after her clothes were dry and deliver the ingredients. Until then, she took a moment to rest. Her mind hadn't wandered too far while leaning back in the chair before a flutter of white landed before her.
Sucking in a sharp breath, Nova reeled back with wide eyes, but lying on the table wasn't the menace she thought it was. It was an envelope. With furrowed brows, she reached forward and picked the paper up, turned it over, and studied the front. Written neatly in black ink was her name. If her parents needed to tell her something, they usually showed up nearby, despite the letter she'd sent weeks ago.
Nova tore the envelope open and pulled out the stationery.
Her heart dropped.
She'd forgotten about the Winter Ball, or even the Solstice, for that matter. Granted, she'd only ever attended one, and while she remembered it, the details were foggy. Was this something she wanted to do?
Putting on a dress and makeup to dance in someone's arms sounded like the epitome of her Hell.
Nova dropped the letter on the table and pursed her lips into a thin line. It was a few days away yet; did they need her to decline if she decided not to go? How would that look on her parents' behalf? Should she care? She closed her eyes and, while leaning her elbows on the table, rubbed her temples in slow circles.
She'd have to solve this issue later, she thought, as her stomach grumbled angrily at her. Rising from her chair, she ladled some stew into her bowl and lowered herself to sit in front of the crackling warmth. She took a heaping bite and tried to discard the thought of herself in a dress. Bulging on all sides, not just filling out the seams, but bursting them. Then, imagined herself in a suit and tie, yet that didn't feel right either. She'd missed this body and now that she had it back, she felt ugly and unwanted. Was there any scenario where she could win against her thoughts?
Nova angrily clamped down on another salty bite.
Fresh boughs of holly hung from the ceiling, bringing with them the crisp scent of evergreen. He looked up at them and managed a small smile. His mother had told him once that he'd been named for the holly that hung during Solstice. A tradition that symbolized protection and luck during the harsher winter months. He supposed he was lucky, despite everything else.
Should this be their last Solstice, at least they were together. He'd much rather dread the future with companions than alone.
"It's not even, Finch. You cut the base lopsided." Kyra sighed, hands on her hips as she shook her head at the Illyrian trying to keep one of the fir trees upright against the wall.
"It will be fine," he said, angling it again, "see?"
Kyra narrowed her eyes. "With as few trees as there are to pick from, this is how we're going to display it?"
"I got it," Kole chimed in as he walked toward them, removing a long blade from his side-vest. He kneeled with one hand against the trunk while the other sawed through with tiny, but effective teeth. "There," he said, holding up the chunk, "we can use the rest for kindling."
Rolling his eyes, Finch grumbled something unintelligible under his breath as he turned to the decorations as Kole sank the base into its holder.
"Why are you in such a bad mood, anyway?" Kyra sighed as she unwound twisted light strings.
Finch picked up two ornaments, matching shiny blue balls, "Gee, I don't know…" He glared at Bran, but Bran, who sat on the sofa, continued to sip his coffee. He smirked over the lip of his mug.
None the wiser to their couple spat, the others worked to finish decorating the parlor. Everyone in the palace was working together to prepare for the Winter Ball in a couple of short days, and Hollis was…nervous. In the past, it had always been at least pleasant, if not a little boring. Aside from the year Nova had joined them. That had been the most memorable by far. But this year…this year, he didn't know if she'd come. She'd always expressed hesitation toward any party, let alone a formal ball.
They'd sent her an invitation yesterday, and she never replied. Not that he'd been waiting for her response. Of course not.
When the first-floor parlor was finished, they moved to the next room that would be open to guests. As they made their way down the hall, Eira could be heard giggling as she'd been given free rein of the tinsel.
Walking past the room, Ana and Azriel helped her decorate a small tree, but she'd taken it upon herself to string the sparkling strands over the ridges of his wings. Az sat patiently on the floor, legs crossed. Adorned with a small smile, he patiently let her decorate him more than she did the tree.
Nieve smiled as they entered another room to prepare, "Will she be staying at the Palace?"
Nodding, Hollis smiled, "For as long as Ana does. She's officially taken her on as her pupil. She'll be her governess for the time being."
With a slight frown, Nieve nodded, "Will they be leaving after the Solstice?" She glanced at Kyra, then Finch and Bran.
Hollis glanced at her. He knew her words referred to Ana, Eira, and Azriel, but he knew it wasn't them she was afraid to lose. They'd all grown closer the last few months, and he, too, was nervous for the end of Solstice, especially if Nova remained in the Velaris. As of late, they'd been offering their aid to the Winter Court, but in the end…they would go where Nova went.
Though Hollis agreed it was a sad moment of realization.
The halls would once again fall quiet. For all the time he'd spent wanting to be left alone, he suddenly wanted to be forever surrounded by everyone he cared about. It would be a shame to come downstairs one day and not hear Finch and Kole arguing or Kyra laughing with Nieve while Bran silently observed, and possibly judged from afar.
Kyra offered a tight smile and nodded her understanding. Things would be different soon, not just with the fall, and they would have let themselves be shaped by it.
"Come on," Kyra said with a smile, "we have another tree to erect."
"Ha, erect." Finch chuckled and dodged Kyra's quick attempt at a slap. "Woah, you are getting slower at that." He grinned, and Hollis shook his head with a smile as they began hanging more mistletoe and wreaths, wondering if this would be their last time together like this. If it were, he certainly couldn't let it go to waste.
"I'll go get everyone some hot chocolate." He offered, followed by a chorus of 'I'll take it with whipped cream' and 'marshmallows please'! He grinned as he left.
After another day of gathering, Nova winnowed to Velaris, hauling with her not one, but two full baskets. She'd finally found blueberry bushes, and she'd dug deeper than yesterday to unearth more tubers. This time, without the prowling howl of nearby wolves.
She arrived at Rita's in record time to drop off her harvest, but not before she sent her with a large bowl of stew, which she promptly took with her to the House of Wind. There, her parents would be waiting with Amren and Mor. They'd share the stew and new information.
Just as expected, she could hear voices as she rounded the top of the stairs and entered. She was greeted with warmth and silently thanked the house for thawing her limbs. Kicking off the snow from her boots, she made her way to the dining room, smiling as the table's occupants looked up and grinned.
"You look half frozen." Feyre smiled as she stood and walked to her, taking the pot from her red fingers. "From Rita?"
"She insisted."
Rhys chuckled, "Of course she did. I'll get some bowls."
When her father returned, they were all sitting, with discussions already heated about the numbers in the supply, specifically regarding fish.
"Tarquin has been digging into the sand of the tide and venturing further to find clams and crabs. So far, they've been successful and have added more to their stock." Rhys remarked as he popped a spoonful of spicy mushroom stew into his mouth.
Feyre nodded in response, "I'm surprised he accepted the invitation to the ball. Honestly, I'm surprised any of them did."
Nova's spoon clanked against her bowl, but she proceeded to take a bite as if the mention of the ball hadn't sent her nerves into a dither.
"Who has accepted?" Mor asked curiously.
"Tarquin and Helion. None else, not that I blame them. I hesitate myself…" Feyre murmured.
"You do?" Nova asked with a furrowed brow as a wave of hope overcame her. Maybe she wouldn't have to decline with her lousy excuse and could follow in her mother's footsteps. "Why?"
Flashing a frantic gaze, Feyre forced a tight smile, "Uhm...well, I may have mispoken."
Meeting her father's sorrow-filled eyes, she glanced at Mor and Amren, who stared at her. Finally, she said, "I won't pry." She turned her gaze on her mother again, "But you need to remember, I'm not a child anymore."
Feyre nodded and placed a hand on her arm, "I know that, but my emotions don't have the right to dictate your choices."
Pursing her lips, Nova nodded and stirred her stew as she leaned back, "I don't know if I'll attend."
"Nova," Rhys frowned as he arched a brow, "you know it's alright to take a break from gathering to take time for yourself, yes?"
"Yes, I know that." She managed a small smile that faded quickly.
Feyre nodded, "Well, wherever you decide is where we'll be."
"I thought you said another person's emotions shouldn't dictate another person's decisions."
Laughing, she sighed, "Yes, but…I want to be where you are for Solstice. If that's alright."
Nova bobbed her head, staring at her for a moment when the realization hit her like a ton of bricks. "Because this might be the last we have?"
Though the tears didn't spill, her mother squeezed her hand and smiled, "Who knows what the future holds?"
That…did alter her decision a little. If this truly might be their last celebration together, who knew if they'd even make it to Starfall, then she supposed it would be best to be among her family, even if she felt ridiculous and out of place.
"I wouldn't even know what to wear." She muttered.
"Listen to me," Mor leaned across the table, her stare intense, "no one but you can dictate what you do or don't wear. If you think you can't wear something because of what others might think, they are the problem, not you. If you want to wear it, wear it and own it, because no one else matters in that moment."
Nova rested her chin on her knuckles and cringed, "I wear the same thing every day for a reason. It's all I've ever needed," she shook her head and cast her eyes down, "even if I felt comfortable, which I don't, I don't exactly have the…boutique fit."
Mor smirked and leaned back in her chair as she swirled her wine glass, "Hm, you say that as if I haven't been storing away perfect designs meant just for you for months."
The ballroom shimmered from the golden light of a million candles. Hollis couldn't remember a time the palace looked this beautiful. Not even prior Winter Balls were as elegantly draped. With only the blaze of the fireplace and the candles, the ballroom was bathed in warm gold, the scent of vanilla and evergreen filling the air with a welcoming perfume.
Hollis, in a velvet green suit and matching tie, smiled as he greeted incoming guests at the door of the ballroom. The palace staff were the first to arrive to partake, followed by his friends and a few members of the Night Court. He tried not to think about the fact that Nova had not accompanied them, nor had her parents.
Perhaps they were just late.
Smiling as Eira entered in her snowball gown, her hair twined in an intricate, glittery pattern, she looked like a genuine snowflake in her blue and silver accents. She stood between Ana and Azriel, holding their hands. It was Ana who caught him most by surprise. He'd only ever seen her dressed in gray frocks, but tonight she wore a soft chiffon pink gown that bared her shoulders with puffs of lace. It was simple, elegant.
"You look beautiful." Hollis smiled, and Ana squeezed his arm as they walked past to join Cassian and Nesta.
Emerie and Gwyn arrived as duets of red and green, followed by Winter Court citizens. None among them was Nova. Staring at the open door, he turned his head as Finch called his name. There, near the hearth, his friends stood holding glasses of bubbling champagne. Crossing the floor, he took the offered glass from Kyra and smiled.
The Illyrian males wore black with silver or gold. Kyra wore a sequinned ruby red that matched her lips, while Sara wore pink. Hollis was sure it was the same dress she'd worn to the last Solstice they'd spent together. Nieve, in her cool blue dress of silk, had also flecked her lashes with an extra coat of white, frosting them like ice, and Kole matched his twin with a similar suit and the same frosted lashes.
Each time the door opened, Hollis's eyes darted to his left to watch who entered—more Winter Court citizens, Taqruin, and much later, Helion. The more Hollis watched the door, the more he realized he really wasn't okay.
He did want Nova to come.
It had been weeks since he'd seen her. He didn't care if she showed up just out of training, sweaty and hair wild with the wind; he just wanted her.
"Buddy," Finch murmured and squeezed his shoulder with a sad brow, "I don't think she's coming…try to enjoy yourself."
His jaw clenched. As much as he wished he could act nonchalant in his disappointment, the tightening of his chest was almost too much to bear. Would he truly never see her again? Even just in passing…just once more, having her contemplative eyes settle on his, openly reading him without fear.
The doors opened, and Hollis didn't turn his head. He couldn't handle another moment of disappointment. Yet, watching his companions grow still and silent, staring at the door with slowly widening eyes, Hollis couldn't help but turn to see what had caught their undivided attention. His breath caught in his throat as he watched Nova enter the ballroom alongside her parents with Mor and Amren.
He couldn't look away, staring in stunned silence as she took over the space, and everything else faded away. The gown she wore was made of rippled, golden silk that cascaded like smooth waves crashing to the floor in a glossy mass. The straps held her broad shoulders in place, curving down her front in a V formation that exposed the soft center of her cleavage and continued downward, accentuating the taut muscles of her stomach. While the seams hugged every luscious curve of her body, the fabric hung in a silky shimmer. Making her look as though she were dripping with golden honey.
Her face was adorned with the same glow. Her eyes were lined with a fierce black, and dancing glitter against her lids sparkled and glimmered in the candlelight, much like the subtle golden gloss of her lips. Hollis wasn't sure he'd ever seen her hair down, but now it hung in smooth, shiny waves of ebony.
Staring at the twinkling necklace of dripping ice she was draped in, Hollis's heart swelled. He didn't care if she knew what it meant to him to see her wearing his grandmother's necklace, but the warmth it filled him with was enough to last a lifetime.
"I think you're drooling a little," Kole whispered in his ear, smirking as he watched Nova glide across the room as if she owned it and join her family, who were speaking with Tarquin and Helion.
When Hollis didn't move, Kole elbowed him in the ribs, "Go talk to her."
"No…" Hollis murmured, still not taking his eyes off her.
Kole frowned, "What do you mean no?" He asked, baffled.
Turning to look at him, he sighed softly, "She deserves to spend the night the way she wants to. Not pressured by me if she doesn't want to talk to me. I can't pretend she wasn't avoiding me before she left. If she doesn't like my presence, I'm not going to force it on her." He sipped his champagne.
How could he complain if she didn't? This was what he wanted. To have one more chance to see her, even if they didn't utter a word to each other. He looked over his shoulder and watched her smile at something Tarquin said.
Hollis smiled, too.
"Gorgeous, as always," Ana whispered to Nova, squeezing her hand with a gentle smile.
Eira was stunned, continually stroking the silky texture of Nova's gown. "So pretty…"
Nova didn't object, surprised by her smile. Mor hadn't exaggerated when she'd told her she'd make her look like a golden drop of honey. Nova had always been a confident person in the training arena, but the confidence she felt now was different. She had requested to wear flats, however, as she didn't feel comfortable in heels. Maybe one day she would, but not tonight.
A familiar sensation brushed her skin, and she looked over her shoulder to see Finch, Kyra, and Bran approaching with Cyprus and Sara. Beyond them, at the fireplace, stood Kole, Nieve, and…she met Hollis's eyes for a moment longer than she meant to and quickly looked away. Focusing on Kyra as she smiled.
"We've missed you." Nova accepted her embrace, ignoring the strange flutter in her stomach. She knew he'd be here, of course, but avoiding him suddenly seemed like a much more difficult task than before.
"I missed you, too," Nova smiled at the others and looked up at the enchanted ceiling, where a soft flurry of snow fell above them. "They don't hold back on the decorations."
Finch grinned, "We helped."
Laughing, Nova left her family and followed them to the table, where drinks and treats were served. From sweet to savory, they had something for every taste. Cyprus offered her a glass of champagne, garnished with a sugar-frosted raspberry. Bringing it closer, she puckered her lips as the bubbles tickled her nose.
Light conversation ensued, but the state of the world was strictly off the table for discussion. Before she knew it, she'd finished half her glass. She hadn't realized she'd like it so much, but she'd certainly limit herself. She didn't want to relive her drunken state with Kallias. Kallias, who now took Viviane's hand and led her to the dance floor, signaled that everyone could partake in the ballroom center.
No one from her group moved…that was, until Kole approached. He bypassed all the others, his eyes set on Kyra with a devastatingly charming smile.
He offered her an extended hand, "May I have this dance with the most stunning woman in the room?"
Nova wasn't sure if Kyra's cheeks could redden any more than they were with her powdered blush, and yet they did. She grinned as Kyra replied, "Do you think you can keep up?" She asked, placing her hand in his.
Beaming, Kole wrapped his pale fingers around hers, "Challenge accepted." Then, he proceeded to whisk her away to the dance floor.
"Well?" Bran asked, offering his hand to Finch.
Finch looked up from his flute of champagne and raised his brows. Glancing around nervously, in the direction of the other Illyraians, he asked, "Are…you okay with that?"
"I would be honored."
Grinning, Finch set his drink to the side and took Bran's hand, walking to the center, unafraid.
With a soft smile, Nova watched her friends dance. She watched them gaze into each other's eyes as if they were the only people in the room, as they swayed chest to chest. Had anyone ever looked at her like that?
From across the room, Hollis admired Nova from afar. He etched her into his memories, begging that no matter how long they all had in this world, this night wouldn't fade.
"Kole is right," Nieve murmured, "you should talk to her. You don't have to ask her to dance, but perhaps she's waiting for you to make the first move."
Hollis chuckled, "Nova has always been the first move type of person." He pursed his lips and glanced sideways at Nieve's skeptically arched brow. Chewing on his lower lip, he said, "How about this? After this song finishes, I'll talk to her. That way, she doesn't feel obligated because the others are?"
Nieve nodded slowly, "Alright. I suppose that's a better plan than years later wondering if you would have."
The center of the ballroom was now a flourish of spinning skirts and dancing shoes as Viviane and Kallias walked past, swaying bodies, and stood with Feyre and Rhysand.
"It's absolutely beautiful," Feyre smiled, "you've outdone yourselves."
Viviane smiled, "I'll admit, most of it was done by your court. They did do a wonderful job." Her gaze drifted to Nova, where she smiled as she spoke to Cyprus and Sara. "I don't think I can express how I feel seeing Nova wearing that necklace."
Glancing at his daughter, Rhys smiled with fond eyes, "Ah, yes. That was a gift from the Winter Court, wasn't it?" He remembered Nova opening the box, along with other trinkets, but the necklace had quite literally stolen her breath away.
"Hm," Kallias chuckled, "Hollis insisted that night it be sent to her."
"Did he?" Feyre looked at them.
Nodding, Viviane smiled, "It has a wonderful story. It belonged to my mother, gifted by my father. Before she passed when Hollis was very young, she told him one night that the necklace belonged only to the one he would never want to see suffer. The one person he couldn't imagine the world without."
Heat gathered behind Feyre's eyes as her gaze drifted to Hollis by the fireplace, watching Nova with the same adoration she'd often seen in Rhysand's eyes toward herself. She murmured, "He truly loves her, doesn't he? Past any mating bond."
"Yes," Viviane answered in a whisper. She'd known of his feelings for quite some time. She saw that look in his eyes; it didn't matter what he verbally shared with her. She knew. Though she knew Nova was right to decide for herself, it pained her to see him in a state of longing. Possibly forever. She recalled those days Kallias had been taken Under The Mountain. How she regretted every word not said, and she just hoped that wasn't the case for them. To live in a permanent feeling of exile was something she wouldn't wish on anyone.
"I think only Tarquin and Helion came," Sara said, looking around the ballroom.
Nova nodded, noting none of the other High Lords changed their minds last minute. Not that she expected them to be the way she'd walked out of the previous meeting. She was relieved, actually.
Chuckling, Cyprus nodded, "After what Hollis told them? I doubted they would."
Bobbing her head slowly, Nova took a moment to register what he'd said. With a confused twist of her brow, she turned to him. "What do you mean after what Hollis told them?"
"You know," Cyprus said, his eyes meeting hers, "when he told them off for what they were trying to do. I don't know details, just what Finch told me."
Blinking rapidly, Nova shook her head, "No, my parents stood against the other High Lords. Not Hollis."
"Not according to Finch. He said, his words not mine, that Hollis has balls of steel after he told them all to go to Hell." Cyprus chuckled, but abruptly stopped as he noted Nova's expression. "I…thought you knew."
Nova hadn't known.
Hollis? The same Hollis who kept giving her expensive gifts to buy her affections?
The same Hollis…that sat with her in the middle of the night and let her cry.
Hollis, who traveled to the mortal world despite the dangers, collected the last remnants of Peter's flowers for her.
The same Hollis…who right now gazed at her from across the room as if she were the only person in the universe. The same way she'd often caught Azriel watching Ana, or her mother watching her father.
Before she could think better of herself, Nova handed her flute to Cyprus and crossed the room. Her fierce gaze was set on Hollis.
A warm blush crept up the back of Hollis's neck as Nieve's eyes widened and she quietly excused herself to join Sara and Cyprus, mouthing 'thank the cauldron' as she approached.
Nova stopped a foot before Hollis, brows knitted together as they stared at each other for what seemed much longer than a minute.
Clearing his throat, Hollis started, "I'm glad you-"
"Is it true?"
Hollis blinked and glanced around the room before settling his eyes on Nova's violet stare. "Is what true?" He ventured hesitantly. Oh…no, did she know about the history of the necklace? Would she feel pressured by it?
"Did you stand against the other High Lords?"
Eyes slowly widening, Hollis swallowed, "Nova…we don't need to talk about that."
"Yes, we do." She asked again. "Did you?"
"…yes."
Frowning, she searched his eyes with her own, trying to understand. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I…" He stammered and steeled himself. He dropped his voice lower and said, "Nova, the last thing I wanted was to make you feel as though you were entitled to me. We've been played like pawns since we were children, and enough is enough. I couldn't bear to ever do that to you, even unintentionally.
So yes, I was careful in the way I told you how the meeting ended, because I knew you could accept your parents' love more easily without guilt or question. You always seem to think you owe people for caring about you, Nova. For loving you. So, I stand by what I said, and there's not a moment I regret it."
Nova was not the one stunned and speechless. Her eyes glistened in the firelight, barely breathing as Hollis leaned in and said, "The only thing I ever want of you is your happiness."
They were quiet for a moment as the music swelled in a gentle caress over the ballroom and its dancers. She gazed into his eyes, unable to move or blink as something strange stirred within her. Faint at first, like a firefly from afar, but then, all at once, something snapped into place. Strong and delicate at the same time, the shimmering thread of gold that formed around her core wrapped around Hollis and pulled him close.
Suddenly aware of her other senses, she breathed in his scent. The same scent that was on her pillow in the barracks…the scent that offered her comfort when she couldn't sleep. It had been his bed.
Nova swallowed her trepidation and in a voice as soft as the silk she wore, she asked, "Would you like to dance?"
Blinking his surprise, Hollis wasn't sure he was still breathing as he offered her his hand, "Nothing would bring me more joy."
As though they were truly alone, they walked to the center of the room, holding her hand in one while the other rested on her waist. She placed her hand against his shoulder. She was suddenly very glad she'd decided not to wear heels; otherwise, there'd be more than half a foot difference, and more than anything, she wanted to look at him. Study him—the sparkle of his freckles and the light in his eyes.
How could she not have seen the way he looked at her before?
"You know how to dance?" Nova asked, looking down at their feet.
Hollis chuckled, "Ah, yes. Started when I was in diapers."
Leveling an incredulous look at him, but he only grinned.
"I've never actually danced before." Nova shook her head, smiling too.
"Well, that's not true," he smiled, guiding her with a little more sway, "if I recall, you commandeered the dance floor ten years ago. No one could look away."
She snorted, "Yes, I imagine no one could look away. I danced like a puppet on strings."
"That's not what I remember."
"Oh? And what do you remember?"
"Your smile…"
As a sparkling, but rather wry grin forced its way onto her lips, Hollis smiled, "Yup, just like that."
Blushing, Nova shook her head, leaning into him more easily with the drift of the music—the gentle drum pulsing through them like a heartbeat. Soon, Nova realized the champagne had made her mouth a bit dry, and they left the floor to get a drink. No one approached them, not that they noticed, as they talked. Closer than they ever had before, her left hip diagonal against his right.
Finally, Nova glanced around the room. There were a lot of people here, filling the room with a heat she couldn't quite describe.
Hollis gently squeezed her hand. "Do you need a break?" He asked gently.
Searching his eyes, she bit her lip and nodded, "It's just a little…uhm…"
"I know." He murmured and offered his arm.
She took it without hesitation and let him lead her out of the ballroom, where the air of the foyer was a cool wash against her dewy skin. Together, they walked the halls, cooling their bodies with soft sighs of relief.
"It really was getting hot in there," Hollis nodded, as an idea overtook him. "Do you remember the time you came here? Not for the ball, but to visit?"
"Ah, yes. When your father told me not to return unless I stopped being a menace."
Hollis cringed, but Nova grinned and released a laugh.
"I don't blame him. I was a little shit."
Snorting, Hollis shook his head, "You were…not…"
She lightly smacked his shoulder, "See? You can't even disagree with a straight face."
"Okay, but that wasn't the memory I was referring to." He said as he guided her up the winding marble staircase and further down the hall. "Humor me."
"Alright," Nova sighed, stealing a glance at his profile as they continued forward.
Soon, they stood before a massive door with silver handles. She'd passed the door multiple times, but had never crossed its threshold in her stay here. "What's in here?" She asked as he pushed the door open.
Inside sat a grand piano, the color of glistening ivory, much like the tattoo that adorned her arm. She looked down at the markings now…and smiled. "I have been in here," she nodded, "when I came to visit you through the passageways."
"Hm, right," Hollis raised a brow, "when you scared the shit out of me and then told me to take my pants off."
"The night you lied to me and said my parents had stood and not you?" Nova raised a brow.
"Touche, but if I hadn't been so quick, they would have. Your mother was already starting to stand when I spoke."
Nova didn't doubt that and smiled softly, "I don't hold it against you. I suppose you're right. I would have…tried to pay you back somehow." She said as a slight frown touched her lips.
As they settled on the bench of the piano, Nova maneuvered her skirt to drape to the ground. She tilted her head, "Can I ask you something? Something that might offend you, but I don't wish for it to?"
Meeting her eyes, he frowned and nodded, "Of course."
"The gifts…" Nova took a deep breath and asked. "What did they mean?"
Hollis furrowed his brow and thought for a moment until Nova reminded him. "The chessboard. The dagger and scabbard. The hair broach," which she had not worn tonight, "the random gifts that weren't for a birthday or holiday. Why did you give them to me?"
It had never occurred to Hollis that the items would upset her…then again, hadn't he? He hadn't told her about the meeting for the same reason; he supposed he just hadn't thought about it.
"Well," he placed his fingers on the keys and began a light tune, "I figured you might be bored in your room all the time, and thought the game might help. The hair broach had pearls, and it reminded me of you. And the dagger? I know sharp weapons make you happy." He nodded as Nova stared at him.
Biting the corner of her lip, Nova nodded slowly and smiled. "Good."
Leaned against each other, the soft cadence of the piano filled the space as the ball continued beneath them. She didn't mind, though, as she watched his fingers move with effortless ease.
"It's been a long time since I've played," Hollis murmured. "I missed it."
"Why's that?" She asked, resting her head against his shoulder. She recalled the last time he'd played for her. How he hadn't stopped, simply because she asked him to continue.
He smiled softly and glanced down at her, "I suppose I couldn't find a reason to."
Tilting her head back to look up at him, she frowned. "I'm sorry. For everything. For contributing the sadness you've felt."
Hollis shook his head, and while his fingers still played, moved by muscle memory, he turned and looked at her. "I don't think you realized just how your presence alone saved me."
"You don't have to say that," Nova frowned.
"No," Hollis said as his fingers stilled on the keys, "I'm serious." Staring at each other, Hollis pursed his lips into a thin line and continued, "Do you remember if there was ever a time when you…consoled something in the dark? Something frightened with panic?"
Nova pulled away from his shoulder with wide eyes, reeling back slightly as she shook her head, "How do you know that?" The only person she'd told that to was Nesta, and not with such detail. Not with the language he used, which was so accurate that it was as if he'd been there.
Swallowing back the fear that crept up his throat, Hollis pivoted his body to face her. "When you whispered to me that I was safe…I heard it. I felt it," his eyes watered red, "when I thought to myself that I didn't want to live anymore because of this terrible fear, it was you that held me and told me I would be okay."
A tear rolled down Nova's cheek as Hollis cupped her jaw with his hand, cradling her as his thumb gently touched the drop, disappearing into their skin. Moving closer, Hollis fixed his gaze with hers.
As her breath faltered, he murmured, "Nova, you are my peace."
Nova didn't take another breath as the tears that threatened her fell, and she crashed forward against his lips. Moving in synchrony, Hollis instinctively wrapped his other arm around her waist. He pulled her closer as they claimed each other's mouths. Nova's nails threaded through his hair, keeping him against her in a claw-like grip, as an eruption of goosebumps trailed across his skin.
Pulling away only to rest his forehead against hers, Hollis breathed her in with his eyes still shut and murmured, "I love you, Nova."
Nova opened her eyes at the same time he did, and she did not falter as she softly declared, "I love you..."
Their mouths returned, and their tongues joined the dance until they were both grasping each other's clothes and gasping for breath. Something new and frantic glazed over their eyes.
"Maybe we should go somewhere more private…" Nova shivered, not from the cold, as her fingers clutched the collar of his suit. Hypnotized by its velvet texture.
Hollis smiled crookedly, "I might have a place in mind."
Placing his hand over hers, the wind whipped, and within moments, they went from sitting on the piano's bench to standing in a cold, dark room. Raising her brow, Nova peered around at the single cabin room and crossed her arms over her chest, shuddering.
"Sorry," he grabbed a thick blanket from the back of the rocking chair that sat by the fireplace and draped it over her shoulders. Nova was immediately enveloped in the comforting scent of him, basking in it as she watched him kneel before the fireplace and light a spark. "It's been a while since I lit the fireplace." He said, as the growing fires' glow washed the room in warmth.
Still wrapped in the blanket, which she now knew to be a quilt, she turned in a circle and took in the room. There wasn't much furniture. Aside from the rocking chair, there was a bed to the right, which occupied a considerable amount of space. A chest next to it was overhung with more blankets, and a small bistro table and matching wrought-iron chairs sat in the kitchenette. Somewhat rustic in appeal, there was nothing elegant about it. In fact, it reminded her of the cabins on her Island.
"It isn't much, I know," Hollis smiled as he laid another log on the fire to bring more life from the flames. "But it's the only place I can go to when I don't want to be around people."
"Hm, you're so good with people, though. It seems so easy for you to talk to them."
Hollis shrugged, "Everyone has their limit, no matter their strengths."
Turning to look at him, she found his eyes already on her and suddenly remembered what they'd come here to do, what she'd wanted to do five seconds before. Swallowing, a swell of nerves twisted her stomach, as her heart crept up her throat.
His brows furrowed as he slowly set the poker down and inched his way toward her. "Hey," he insisted. But when she looked away, he took her hand and spoke gently. "Nova, we don't have to do anything you don't want to. Never. If you'd like to sit by the fire and talk all night long, then that's what we'll do."
Nova grimaced and, with effort, met his eyes with a soft sigh, "It's not that I don't want to…" She trailed off, searching for the right words. "There are just so many things that kind of…scare me." She finally admitted and sat down on the corner edge of the bed, still wrapped in the quilt.
Standing before her, Hollis slowly lowered himself to his knees. "Talk to me," he murmured, his eyes pleading, "I promise you right now, you will never not have a choice."
"It's not just that," she said, voice hoarse. She looked down at their hands and their intertwined fingers. Voice shaking, she couldn't meet his eyes as she said, "Yes…what he did to me haunts me every night. And it scares me. I'm terrified to feel that touch again, but…are you sure this is the body you want to be with?"
Hollis blinked in confusion as he sat back on his heels, "Nova…I need you to look at me when I say this." Lifting her eyes to meet his, he squeezed her fingers and said, "Do you know how often I have to remind myself not to keep staring at you? I'm going to sound entirely crass right now, and I hope you'll forgive me, but do you know how many erections I've had to hide from you? You have no idea what you do to me…"
Bewildered, Nova gaped at him. "Wait, really? You never thought to yourself, 'wow, she's bigger than I am.'"
"You are bigger than I am."
Nova narrowed her eyes as he grinned. "Nova, you could crush my skull between your thighs, and I'd say thank you," which earned a snorting laugh from her, but at least now she was smiling. He continued, "And anyway, my love for you started years ago. Far before you turned into a warrior or a Valkyrie."
"Oh really?"
Grinning, he shrugged as he stood to his feet. Without a word, he traveled to the fireplace where his Hope Box sat on the mantel above. Opening it, he pulled something out, cupped it in his hands, and returned to his position at her knees.
"I don't know if you remember much of that first meeting, but," He opened his hand, and resting in his palm was a ring. Not an expensive cut diamond ring, but a simple band adorned with a single pearl. It was the same iridescent shade as his hair…Nova knew it well.
"You kept it?" She asked in a whisper.
"You called me a pearl," he smiled fondly, "of course, I kept it. I told myself that one day, should I have the opportunity…I'd…ask for your hand.
Nova's throat tightened, and she had to bite her lip to bring her back down to earth.
"I've had moments in my life where confusion and anxiety have set me back, made me question everything about myself, but I've always known this was what I wanted. I've always wanted you."
Breathing deeply, Nova nodded and eyed him for a long moment, "Alright then…ask me."
His smile morphed into a slow grin as he took her left hand in his and gently rubbed his thumb against her knuckles, "I know technically the markings on our arms are symbolic of nature's union, but you wear mine as a symbol of ours? Will you be my partner til the last days and even after?"
Leaning forward, Nova pressed her forehead against his and nodded. "Yes…" As her lips connected with his, he slipped the ring on her finger.
Nova grinned as the overwhelming nerves in her belly settled like fine dust and pulled back to look at her hand."Do you have a band?"
His eyes widened larger than the moon. "Oh, shit…"
Laughing, she shook her head and kissed his lips once more, "I'll make one for you. I'm quite handy with molding metals."
"Of course you are," Hollis laughed.
Nova pursed her lips and tapped her finger against the ring, the weight of it more pleasant than she would have thought. "And the other thing?" She murmured, glancing up at him through feather lashes.
Nodding, Hollis stroked gentle circles against her knees. "That will always be your decision."
Nova knew what she wanted. She did want this – she wanted him in more ways than a ring or a vow. She wanted to be part of him, and he wanted to be part of her. Placing the palm of her hand against his chest, she felt the beat of his heart and took a deep breath.
"I want you…"
Hollis's heart skipped a beat, his throat dry as he watched her face. He wanted so much to smooth the pain from her features and ease the ache she felt.
"And I want you to smooth away the scars he left with something good. I don't want him to be the last person that touches me like that, but I can't give up all control." Another tear rolled down her cheek. "I need to have some control or…I'm afraid I'll panic."
That was so much harder to say than she would have thought, but despite her fear of his rejection on her terms, he took her hand in his and pressed a soft kiss against her knuckles.
"Nova, I will do only what you ask of me. If you'd like me to lie back and keep my hands to myself, I will. If you decide you don't want to continue, then that's what we'll do. You are my wife," he smiled, and she did too, as he pressed a kiss against her wrist, "My mate—the love of my life, and I will take your lead."
Leaning forward, she pressed her lips against the crook of his neck. "Lie with me?"
Carefully, they moved together up the center of the bed and plopped into the pillow with a soft oomph. The fire was the only source of light, casting them in a radiant glow that brought out the color of her gown nicely.
"I know this is the first time I've technically ever worn a dress," Nova said, running her fingers over the silk. "But it has been ten years, and I didn't think I'd like it as much as I do."
Hollis's eyes slowly delved down and found himself admiring the soft curve of her cleavage. He quickly looked away, scolding himself as he swallowed.
"You're hiding an erection right now, aren't you?"
"No, I'm sure it's very visible."
Snorting, Nova shook her head and glanced down, raising her brow at the bulge that crept down his pant leg. She'd never…played with a male before. Adira had taught her everything she needed to know to play with her, and she couldn't help but find sudden fascination in it.
"And if I did something you didn't like, you'd tell me? You'd tell me to stop?"
Hollis nodded, "Of course." He hadn't been quite sure what to expect after those words, but he looked down as her fingernails lightly skimmed his erection through his pants. He couldn't contain the gurgling gasp in the back of his throat as his hips instinctively jutted forward. Was he going to cum right in his pants?
Flashing her eyes to his face, Nova watched his features twist into what could only be described as pleasure. A warm pool of arousal gathered between her legs, followed by Hollis's sensual moan.
He could smell her.
"On your back." Though her voice was soft, it was an order. One that Hollis didn't hesitate to obey.
Lying back, he settled his head into the pillows as he watched Nova slide off the bed. Hooking the straps of her gown, she pulled them off her shoulders and let them fall into a mess of silk on the floor. Hollis's lips parted as saliva filled his mouth at the sight of her. She'd been wearing nothing under that gown, and now his eyes danced over every bit of her dazed. From the glow of her dark skin to her hungry, violet eyes, to the taut muscles that moved with her body so naturally.
When he died, this would be his Heaven.
Crawling across the bed, Nova didn't break their gaze as she settled herself on his hips. She relished in the soft whine he produced in the back of his throat when his thigh touched his bulge. With her sex against the crotch of his pants, she raised an eyebrow as she glanced down and realized the velvet of his suit against her sensitive flesh felt…amazing. Experimentally, she moved her hips forward and back, gently brushing against herself while rubbing against his cock.
Hollis shuddered and squeezed the bedding, desperate to keep himself from releasing too soon. Still holding his gaze, he refrained from watching her fingers move deftly up his torso and begin unbuttoning his jacket. With every shred of clothing she released, she dropped to the floor and brushed herself against his pants again.
Now wearing only his underwear, his cock fought to be released, but he kept his hands where they were despite the ache. That was, until Nova cupped him with her hand, and his eyes rolled back in a soft moan.
A smirk carved her lips as she leaned forward, "I think I like it when you moan…" She murmured before pressing a kiss against her lips.
Oh… please let me last, he begged the universe.
Nova removed the last bit of fabric that separated them and leaned back, taking him into her hand. She observed him for a moment, watching how his abdomen quivered with every soft caress of his shaft and how the slit of his head wept with anticipation.
She took a deep breath and knew that not only did she need to do this, but she wanted to. Oh, she wanted to. Leaning back, she lifted her hips and experimentally dragged his head against her warm center.
"Fuck…" Hollis shuddered, heart racing as he watched her tease herself with his cock.
Meeting his eyes, Nova pressed his tip against her entrance and leaned forward. Jaw-dropping, her eyes rolled back at the tight, yet pleasant pinch of him filling her.
"Nova, you feel amazing…it's so good," Hollis groaned, breathing her in as she hovered above him.
Shivering, his words urged her on as she caught his lips in a tender kiss, lifted her hips, and rocked forward. With the position she was in, his head pressed against a spot from deep within her that stole her breath. Pulling back, she rocked herself again, chasing away the memory of the last time someone had been inside of her.
Holding his gaze, her hips moved with more frequency and rhythm. Riding him as though he were an ocean wave on a calm day, and with each thrust, the gold thread between them thrummed with pleasure. She could see it in his glazed expression…he was about to come.
She was about to make him come.
"Hollis," Nova murmured, stroking her thumb across the soft line of his jaw, "I want you to come…I can wait."
Furrowing his brows, he thought back to all the times he'd been punished for coming first, being ridiculed for it. "Are…are you sure?" He stammered, barely able to get a breath in.
Nova tilted her head and smiled as she increased the rocking of her hips. Putting her muscles to good use, she rode him like a flash storm and watched his eyes widen. Mouth agape and brows twisted, his cock twitched inside of her, and one thrust later, he released a crying roar that caught Nova off guard. Without warning, her orgasm rushed through her, and she clamped around him in pounding waves. Her cries of ecstasy weaved with his as she fell forward, unable to focus through the pulsing that enveloped her entire being.
Everything was silent—no fire crackle. His moans had ceased as had hers, and only when her heart had calmed again and she could think a little more did the sound turn back on.
Hollis shuddered, gazing up at her, hands resting carefully on her hips. "Did…you turn the sound off?"
Pausing, she raised her brows, "I hadn't meant to," she pursed her lips, "You don't think it…traveled far, do you?"
Heat flushed their skin, not just from their escapades, but knowing their adventures might not have been as private as they would have liked. She supposed they'd have to know eventually, but at least for tonight, she wasn't setting foot back into that palace.
Giggling as she rolled off him, she shook her head. "I suppose there wasn't much left to the imagination when we walked out together anyway."
Hollis turned to his side and nuzzled her neck as his fingers glided over the curves of her bicep. "I'll get you something to drink." He murmured and pressed a kiss to her shoulder before taking the few steps to the kitchen.
Smiling, she rolled to her side and watched him. She raised her brow at his bare ass and thought to herself… That's mine? I mean, not technically, but he wanted her to be the one who saw him naked in the mornings? Bed head and all?
He turned, holding two glasses of water, and smirked as he, too, admired her. Was his mouth watering again? He moved forward and offered the glass, which she took and sat up to drink.
"Would this be considered our honeymoon?" Nova asked.
Laughing, he lounged next to her. "Do you want it to be?"
Nova gulped down a mouthful of water and shrugged, "I think they last a little longer than a night. At least in the mortal world."
"Hm, how long do they last there?"
"I have no idea."
Hollis grinned and pressed a kiss against her ear as he wrapped an arm around her waist, "Then I suppose I'll have to whisk you away indefinitely."
"Promise?"
He held his pinky out and smiled, "I swear."
Looping her pinky with his, she grinned before attacking his mouth with a kiss, which he returned fervently. Setting their waters aside, they rolled across the bed, tasting each other all through the night.