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Chapter 23 - 22 - Traffic Jam Hell

A small box truck was crawling along the New York highway. Blade gripped the steering wheel. He'd driven everything from motorcycles to armored vehicles, but hauling cargo in rush hour traffic was testing even his patience.

The highway stretched ahead of them. Cars bumper-to-bumper as far as the eye could see, engines idling, tempers flaring. The whole mess looked like someone had taken every vehicle in Manhattan and arranged them in the traffic jam.

Honk. Honk. HOOOOOONK.

He rolled down his window, and immediately car horns assaulted his ears. Drivers were leaning on their horns like it would magically clear the road.

"FUCK!"

He slammed his fist against the steering wheel hard enough to make the whole truck shake. Lucky the thing was built tough, with his enhanced strength, he could probably punch straight through the dashboard if he wasn't careful.

Ring ring.

His phone started buzzing. When he saw the caller ID, his scowl immediately transformed into a smile. He hit the speaker button.

"Eric, what's going on? I went on an expedition today, no cell service where I was."

Mario's voice came through, and Blade couldn't hide the irritation in his response.

"About fucking time you called back! You have no idea what I went through dragging Pearl out of that archive room. I had to blow up an entire goddamn wall!"

There was silence on the other end of the line. Then Mario's confused voice came through:

"Pearl?"

The tone sent alarm bells ringing in Blade's head.

"Don't tell me you forgot about him!"

"Ha... how could I forget? Pearl's that super fat vampire, right? I've just been busy these past few days! How could I possibly forget?"

But Mario's words carried zero conviction. The past week had been crazy, first dealing with Coulson and S.H.I.E.L.D., then his unexpected trip to the Nether. By the time he'd gotten home, the whole Pearl situation had completely slipped his mind.

Actually, now that Blade mentioned it, he remembered something else he'd forgotten, those three gang members were still waiting for his call.

Blade was sharp. From Mario's reaction, he could tell immediately that his partner had completely blanked on the fat vampire.

"So is Pearl still useful to you or not? Because if he's dead weight, I'll just put him out of his misery right now."

In the cramped cargo area behind them, Pearl couldn't help but shiver. His massive body trembled as an inexplicable chill ran down his spine.

Why do I suddenly feel like someone's walking on my grave?

He looked around the tiny, stuffy space. The truck kept stopping and starting in traffic, and if it weren't for his vampire constitution, he probably would've puked his guts out by now.

Hearing Blade's threat, Mario quickly said, "No, no... that's my bad. Pearl's actually pretty useful, keep him around for now! Where are you guys? I'll come find you!"

"Stuck in traffic on the bridge to Manhattan!"

"Then I'll wait for you in Central Park!"

---

Mario hung up with a sigh. For him, transporting a car would be easy enough, but hauling Pearl back was going to be a major headache. Better to just let Blade sit in traffic for now.

By this time, the stone blocks had finished smelting in his furnace. He went over to collect them, leaving the rest still burning. No point starting from scratch later if he needed more.

"First, let's craft a brewing stand."

He pulled out the materials for a brewing stand, three cobblestone and one blaze rod, and crafted it.

"Might as well make one now. After all, I've got nothing but time... I'd like to buy the world a home... shit, almost started singing that commercial jingle."

The brainwashing power of advertising jingles was no joke. One slip of the tongue and the melody was already playing in his head on repeat.

He placed the brewing stand on top of his furnace setup. Since he didn't have any potion ingredients on hand, he grabbed some "borrowed" cash from his storage chest and headed out.

"First I'll need carrots, books, sugar, glass bottles, watermelon..."

Now that he was actually thinking about it, the shopping list was massive. Back in his old world, before his arriving here, buying this stuff would've taken maybe an hour, the corner store had seventy percent of it, and the rest he could order online for next-day delivery.

But this was 2008 America. Online shopping was still in its infancy, and he was basically starting from scratch.

He thought for a moment, then pulled out his phone and dialed Coulson's number.

The call connected quickly, and Coulson's voice came through.

"Mario, you're back?"

"Yeah, I'm back. Where are you right now? Can you talk?"

Coulson hesitated for a moment before answering:

"I'm in the recovery room. We found the Captain, and we're thawing him out. You know, when we dug him out of the ice, he looked exactly like a frozen fish in a supermarket freezer..."

Mario couldn't help but burst out laughing. "Hahaha! Coulson, are you sure Captain America is really your idol? Because you sound more like a hater to me!"

He didn't push the subject further. After some casual banter, he cleared his throat and got to the point:

"I actually need your help with something."

"No problem, just tell me."

Coulson's response was confident. With his years of agent experience, he'd already pegged Mario as a straightforward guy who believed in equivalent exchange. If Mario asked for help, he'd definitely return the favor.

"I need some supplies. Glass bottles, pufferfish, gunpowder, sand... Maybe I should just give you a list. Oh, and I've got a little bit of gold on hand. Could you help me move it? Don't worry, I'll give you five percent as a handling fee."

Coulson chuckled on the other end.

"No problem. Are you over by Central Park right now? The Captain won't be waking up anytime soon, and I'm not far from you. Let's meet in person."

"Perfect. Same spot as last time."

After hanging up, Mario thought about the Captain America storyline. After the Captain woke up and escaped from the S.H.I.E.L.D. facility, he'd run straight into Times Square, which was only a few blocks from Central Park.

Sure enough, as he was walking from his base to the park entrance, a black Mercedes parked at the roadside honked its horn. Coulson stepped out with a smile on his face.

"Thanks for the tip," Coulson said sincerely as he walked up to Mario and extended his hand.

"No need to thank me. This was teamwork. Sure, I knew where he was, but if it were just me, finding him would've been basically impossible. Without you, he'd still be frozen in that ice block."

Mario shook Coulson's hand with a cheerful grin. Then he nodded toward a park bench inside Central Park.

"Let's wait over there for a bit. Blade's supposed to bring me something."

---

On the park bench, they sat side by side while tourists passed by, shooting curious glances at the odd pair.

Mario pulled a cigarette from his pocket and handed one to Coulson, lighting one for himself as well.

"Next time you come to find me, can you wear some normal clothes? That black suit screams 'federal agent' from a mile away. People probably think you're filming Men in Black or something."

Coulson, cigarette in hand, looked down at his standard-issue suit, then glanced around at the tourists in their casual wear.

"Right. Next time I'll change clothes in advance."

"By the way, what did you say you needed?"

"Mainly some sand, glass bottles work too. I'll give you a list for the other stuff later. Nothing rare, I just find it annoying to gather everything myself."

Coulson nodded. He didn't ask what Mario wanted the items for, but he quietly filed the information away.

"I've got some gold here. Can you help me deal with it? In America, not having money is basically hell..."

"You need money? I can just give you 200,000 right now."

Coulson didn't agree to Mario's request directly, instead, he offered to give him cash, not lend it, but outright gift it.

Mario shook his head. "I'm not exactly short on money. It's just that I don't have any channels here to sell gold."

As he spoke, he pulled a gold nugget from his inventory and tossed it between his hands. The gleaming metal immediately caught Coulson's attention. The nugget was about the size of a baby's fist, but what really caught him off guard was Mario's completely attitude toward it.

"This is gold?"

Mario nodded, tossing the nugget over to Coulson. "I don't have that much of this stuff right now, just a few hundred pieces or so. I'll go get more when I have time."

He expected Coulson to look amazed, but to his disappointment, Coulson didn't show much surprise at all. Instead, he looked at Mario seriously and asked, "You can create gold?"

Coulson's mind immediately filled with thoughts of alchemy, transmutation, and economic warfare. Gold, if mass-produced, would be a weapon of mass destruction, capable of collapsing entire financial systems.

"Not exactly. I mined all this myself, with a lot of hard work."

Coulson remembered the surveillance footage of Mario breaking through concrete walls and nodded slightly, feeling somewhat reassured.

Of course, he had no idea what kind of world Mario had been mining gold in. If he did, he certainly wouldn't be so calm.

Suddenly, Coulson remembered something Mario had mentioned back in Hawaii and lowered his voice.

"Last time you said that S.H.I.E.L.D. wasn't safe. What did you mean by that?"

Since Mario had been right about Captain America, he naturally took his other warnings very seriously.

At Coulson's question, Mario raised an eyebrow and smiled. He very much wanted to reveal what he knew. It was like giving spoilers, oddly satisfying and dangerously addictive.

But thinking about S.H.I.E.L.D.'s current situation, he shook his head. The problem wasn't that there were too many Hydra infiltrators, it was that there were too few genuine S.H.I.E.L.D. agents left. He only knew of a handful of clean agents: Nick Fury, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Maria Hill... and a few others.

"It's not the right time yet. When I feel like giving spoilers, I mean, when I feel like telling you, I'll tell you. Otherwise, I'm afraid you might suddenly sacrifice yourself for the organization."

Mario shrugged, looking relaxed, but Coulson's heart sank. His expression didn't change much, but the smile that had been on his face disappeared.

There are traitors among us.

The thought hit him, immediately taking root and spreading through his mind. He couldn't stop recalling the faces of his colleagues, yet he couldn't pin down a single clue about who might be compromised. Mario's words were like a dagger driven into his heart, leaving him speechless.

"Ah... fu—"

A sharp cry escaped him. Instinctively, he'd started to curse, but years of professionalism forced him to swallow it back. Lost in thought, he'd let his cigarette burn down to his fingers.

"Coulson, you Americans are so limited, you don't even know how to say 'merda' properly!"

Ignoring his burned fingers, Coulson gave a wry smile and asked, "Can't you just tell me? Otherwise, I won't be able to sleep tonight."

"No, I'm afraid if I tell you, you'll sleep even less."

Mario laughed and shook his head. Just then, his phone rang. Glancing at the caller ID, he said, "Hold on, it's Blade."

He picked up. Blade's voice came through the speaker.

"I'm here! Where are you?"

Mario turned his head and immediately spotted a truck parked at the park entrance. Given Pearl's size, there was no way he could be transported in anything smaller.

"Wait a second, I'll be right there!"

He hung up, stood, and walked toward the truck. Coulson followed.

The truck door opened, and Blade jumped out, immediately complaining, "Those damn protesters blocked the whole highway again today. Vegetarian rights or some bullshit. I really don't get it, if you want to eat vegetables, fine, but why do you have to stop everyone else from getting where they're going?"

Mario couldn't help but shake his head. That was America for you, people would protest over anything, waving the banner of freedom. Sure, being vegetarian was your right, but so was eating meat. Why should one interfere with the other?

Then a random thought popped into his head, Speaking of which... for vampires, do coma patients count as vegetarians?

He shook off the silly idea. After giving Blade a quick hug, he said with a smile, "Thanks for the hard work! Pearl's in the back?"

Blade nodded. But when he mentioned Pearl, his expression darkened even further. He turned and looked at Coulson with some surprise.

"Coulson? What are you doing here?"

Coulson smiled. "Mario needed me for something. Been a while, Eric."

The two exchanged greetings. Though they'd known each other for years, they rarely met in person.

Meanwhile, Mario's attention shifted to the truck's cargo hold. With the sun still up, he didn't want to risk opening it, if Pearl got burned by sunlight, all of Blade's effort would've been wasted.

"Let's go shopping first. We'll come back tonight when it's dark."

"Sure."

Blade nodded in agreement. The three of them climbed into the truck and headed toward the nearest shopping center, leaving Pearl to sweat it out in the back for a few more hours.

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