My eyes snap open with the sound of a light CRACK. The smell of burning wood as well as cooking meat. A decently sized campfire nearby with a makeshift spit made of sticks looming over it. A large hunk of jackelope meat cut from its hindquarters spitted and held over the flames. Already getting a decent char on the outside.
I know it's going to taste bland since we don't have a cook with us but my mouth waters either way.
The sun is down now. Not sure how long I've been out. A chill is evident in the air, giving whispers to the approaching harvest months. The heavy blanket from my pack is wrapped around me tightly and I've been laid out on my bedroll. Above me is a nice opening in the wide canopies, exposing the night sky.
I trace my hands over the spot where the massive bruise was over my chest and abdomen but none of it hurts anymore. Lifting the blanket and my tunic as well to see. But my skin is just the same as usual. My ribs even feel fine where they had most definitely been partially shattered.
I readjust the blanket around myself as I hear footsteps approach. Familiar stride so I don't feel on edge atleast.
Mr. Thorpe enters the little camp with a bundle of sticks over his shoulder and sees me sitting up. The old man giving a sly grin. "Well hey there sleepy." He chuckles, laying the bundle of sticks down and cutting free a few to toss into the fire. "How you feelin?"
"I'm…fine." I answer quietly, feeling bits of shame crawling back up into my mind. "I feel pretty good actually…"
The old man uses one of the sticks to adjust the placement of the ones already burning before tossing it in as while. "Yeah Healers Draught will kick your ass but it certainly does the job if you ain't dyin."
I let out a short groan. "No kidding…" Shifting my eyes up to look at my mentor while he tests how the meat is heating through. "How long was I out for?"
Old Guard grunts as he chews a piece from the meat, grimacing but slowly nods in slight approval. "About 3 hours. Honestly not as long as other first timers with that particular brew." He admits with a smile. "Usually it's aleast a full 8 or more." Tilting his head he gives a humph. "Guess that's probably the resilience…"
I let out a long sigh, looking off into the forest around us. "Still…passing out in a dangerous place and leaving you to fend for yourself…you taught me better than that."
"It's fine. That's what I'm here for…"
"It's not. I screwed up… made a mistake. I almost died again cause I made a stupid decision and it burdened you more."
"Liore, I told you…"
"And you said that stuff you used on me was expensive…"
"LIORE!"
I flinch as the old man barks my name. My heart dropping into my stomach. My eyes locking with his. His expression taking on a quite angry sterness.
He is quiet for a few seconds as he holds my gaze. Still knelt by the fire which emphasizes the creases in his furrowed brows. But his face softens some before he speaks. "Liore…" He starts quietly, standing up to walk over. Sitting himself down in front of me.
"You are right. That is what I taught you. But you don't have to worry about that because I am here to keep you safe when things don't work out. That is what training is for."
"But…"
"No buts!" He barks again suddenly, albeit a bit more reserved this time. But it still makes me jolt. My head lowering as I pull myself further into the blanket. My heart feeling like it's sinking further.
Old Guard sighs. "Your mom and I have noticed you are particularly hard on yourself …even for just little things." He admits as he rubs the back of his neck. "And I don't think our training schedule is helping…your starting to act like a neurotic soldier. And I've seen those plenty."
My lip quivers, tears welling up in my eyes. My mind somewhat panicking. "Are…are you going to stop training me?"
Old Guard grimaced and lifted his hands up in surrender. "No no! We are not stopping. I just think you need to get more break time than you have been." Thorpe sighs, lowering his hands back down to his lap. "We've been at this everyday for almost 3 years now. I've trained you way harder than I have anyone else and you have handled all of it just fine but…" He stops, scratching at the gray stubble on his cheek. "I feel like I've piled on a lot of unrealistic standards that are making it harder on you…"
My brows furrow at that. I'm honestly a bit confused on what he means. I haven't felt like anything he's taught me has been too much. It's all been stuff that are important for my survival and the survival of others around me. I'm just not good enough yet.
If anything I should be working harder shouldn't I?
Shifting my eyes up to Old Guard. "Everything you've taught me is important though…I just keep messing it up…"
Mr. Thorpe frowns. "Yes…everything I have taught you is important. But it's been too much too quickly. And you have overwhelmed my expectations so I just kept dumping more…BUT AGAIN…it has put more stress on you than you are prepared for. And it's making you paranoid…which I think you were enough of that to begin with."
The sinking feeling in my chest just keeps getting deeper the more he talks. Pulling my knees up against my chest. I can't get myself to look Old Guard in the eyes anymore. "I'm…I'm sorry if I've made things difficult…"
Old Guard grits his teeth and let's out a long winded sigh. Running his fingers through his greying auburn hair. "This is what I'm talking about. I am telling you that I fucked up and the first person you blame is yourself…"
The old man scoots closer, reaching over to place his hands on my shoulders. I flinch as he does so. "Liore look at me…"
It takes me a couple seconds to work my way up to it. But I eventually raise my head to meet his gaze. My chest tightens again at the sad look in his eyes.
"What happened earlier with the jackelope was not a mistake…it was a split second decision that even a veteran merc would make. It just didn't work out…which is normal. Combat is chaotic and you can't always anticipate what's going to happen next even if you are certain of it." He removes his hands from my shoulders and folds his arms over his chest as he sits up straight. "No plan is surefire…variables changed and you got hurt. Happens all the time…and people sometimes don't live to learn anything from it. But you are quick and smart and you survived…that's a gold star in my book."
The tightness in my chest is starting to subside as a listen. Raising my head higher out of my blanket.
Old Guard leaned his head forward, widening his eyes and aiming his index finger squarely at himself. "But let me repeat myself…I FUCKED UP." He states plainly. "I have put too much pressure on you needlessly and you are suffering for it. You turned out to learn a lot quicker than I expected. I ran out of basics to teach you and instead of slowing things down I just started teaching you how to be a Merc. Which you are not ready for." He admits with a shake of his head. "So when we get back home we are going to take it a bit easier. Go a bit slower and focus on what you are capable of already."
I slowly nod. Honestly I'm starting to see what he means. I know that I do tend to antagonize myself a lot of the time. In fact I think I've always done that even before all this mess started.
My strong desire to not feel useless might have been making me underestimate myself too much.
"Maybe…adult jackelopes might be too much for me?" I ask, more trying to gauge his idea of what I'm capable of.
Mr. Thorpe shakes his head again. "On the contrary. I think you were handling really well. Your thought process was in the right place. It was a risky move of course but you misjudged the timing on your fall. But you can't exactly make yourself fall faster now can you." The old man says with a smirk as he stands up and heads back to the fire to check on dinner.
I furrow my brows, re-analyzing the fight in my head. He is right though. I can't exactly make myself fall faster and I jumped that high specifically so I could have enough momentum to get through its hide…
Wait…
My eyes widen as the realization hits me. "I jumped up high enough to reach the lower branches…I could have flipped myself on the way up and leap strided again downwards off of one of them..."
Old Guard was cutting free hunks of meat from the roast while listening to me. "That would have been a good call. That skill cushions your impacts doesn't it? Would have given you way more momentum as well. Even if you didn't get it in the head you likely would have pierced through its upper body…probably hit something vital."
The old man smiles as he brings over a sharpened stick with hunks of the jackelopes meat skewered onto it. Handing it to me. "See…you could have done it. And you lived to learn you can."
I nod and take the skewer with a small smile. Taking a bite from the meat and immediately frowning at the utter blandness. But I chewed through it anyway. "Ugh…not having a [Cook] sucks…"
Old Guard chuckles, sitting down next to me and takes a bite from his own skewer. His smile immediately fading as well. "Don't I know it…but you gotta get use to this taste sometimes. Especially when you are out in the wilderness without an actual [Cook]. You can atleast roast something. But because you don't have the skills for it it'll be tasteless and hard to stomach no matter what you do." Taking another bite and a swig from his waterskin to help it go down.
Which I have to do as well while trying to swallow down what feels like chunks of brittle rubber. "Momma told me we'll have to eat more of what we roast than usual to get enough nutrition from it." The fact of which is definitely going to haunt me tonight I feel.
Old Guard sighs and nods. "Unfortunately yes…we'll have to eat that whole roast probably." His expression tells me he feels as apprehensive about it as I do.
The old man groans. "There is a way around it but you need [Prepared Condiments]. Which is a skill that only a [Chef] can attain. So the village [Cook] ain't gonna do it."
I pursed my lips at the mention of a [Chef]. "Can papa do that?"
Old Guard frowns pretty hard. "Oh he definitely can. And he's even given me a few cans of seasoning salt before. I could put that on anything and it'd make it taste like he prepared it himself…even if I just burn something over a fire pit." he shakes his head and lowers it in pure dejection. "That man had me in a vice grip for years."
A snicker escapes from lips before it turns into a full blown giggle. "Momma always says he's kind of an ass." Taking another swig of my own waterskin. My shoulders slumping a bit. "I miss him a lot…"
Old Guard reaches over and pats my back gently. "So do I. He's always entertaining…never boring when he's around." He scarfs down a few more pieces of meat. "I don't know what the hell is going on with him. No letters for years. No money to help the family. Just makin everyone worried."
I shrug, nibbling more on my own food as best as I can. "Last we heard from him he went off to help train people at a new restaurant in a coastal town. More money…"
The old man grunts. "Hope it was worth it…"
I nod quietly and stare towards the fire. Watching the flames lick at the roast still spit above it and the wood popping sparks into the air.
My eyes glance over at Old Guard sat next to me trying to force his food down. The black money piece attached to a chain around his neck somewhat visible past the collar of his tunic.
I take a deep breath. "Um…earlier today you said you would tell me more about demons…"
Thorpe suddenly coughed as he momentarily choked on his food.
He takes a few seconds to clear his throat before he turns to glance at me. "Yes I did…didn't I…"
I frown slightly. "If you don't want to it's fine…"
The old man waves his hand dismissively. "No no. I owe you an explanation." He would admit, taking a swig from his flask. "I realize you don't really know all that much about me like your mom does."
I sit up straight in the blanket and scoot a bit to face him.
Old Guard takes a moment to collect himself. Brushing off stray bits of jackelope meat from his tunic and chin. Finally turning himself full to face me as well. The campfire light bathing over his right side while his left stayed in the shadow.
His eyes look quite intense.
"What I'm about to tell you stays between us understand?"
That question puts me slightly on edge. As I suspected, this is something way more serious to tell. Almost makes me want to back off. But I don't think he is going to let me now.
"I understand."
Thorpe takes a deep breath and reaches off to the side to grab his spear to lay it against his shoulder. Almost as if seeking comfort from it.
"What do you know about the last war?"