As it turns out, I wasn't dead.
Which, honestly, was a pretty solid outcome considering the last thing I remembered was… something hitting me.
That was it.
No dramatic flashback, just a vague memory of running, a spike of emotion, and then—boom. Lights out.
And now?
Now I was… here.
The first thing I noticed was this tight, weirdly wet pressure surrounding me. My body felt off, like someone had hit the reset button but forgot to reinstall proper motor control. When I tried to move, my limbs barely responded, brushing against something soft and enclosing.
There was also a heartbeat.
Not mine.
That was concerning.
I froze for a second, then mentally sighed.
"Yeah… alright. I think I know where this is going."
A womb.
Fantastic.
Of all the isekai starts I could've gotten, I got the full experience.
Time passed. Or at least, I think it did.
I couldn't sleep, couldn't move properly, couldn't even scream like a normal baby. At some point, the walls around me started squeezing.
Not gently either.
The pressure built, pushing me upward in waves, as if I were being forcibly evicted from the only real estate I currently owned.
"…okay, okay, I get it," I thought. "Rent's due, I'm leaving."
The squeezing got worse.
Still not painful, but deeply uncomfortable. Like a full-body hug from someone who didn't understand personal boundaries.
If babies remembered this part, the crying would make way more sense.
Then—
A fucking flashbang!
Something grabbed my head and pulled, and suddenly—
"…there we go—!"
I blinked rapidly, my vision struggling to adjust as shapes slowly formed.
This… was not a hospital.
Wooden beams. Hay everywhere. The smell hit next the earth, animals, something faintly metallic.
Mmh, a farmhouse maybe?
An older woman held me, her wrinkled face breaking into a soft smile.
"Congratulations, Helga. It's a healthy boy."
Helga?
I turned my head, slowly, like I was operating on 200 ping, and I managed to get a glimpse of her
My mother.
She looked exhausted. Pale, drenched in sweat, hair clinging to her face. But she was smiling in a way that I had never experienced before.
Just… real.
I was handed over, and the moment I was placed in her arms, something shifted.
A weird, unfamiliar pull in my chest.
"Oh no," I thought. "Don't tell me I'm about to get emotionally attached already."
"You've got quite the quiet one," the old woman said. "Not a single tear."
"He better be Agatha," Helga replied weakly, brushing a hand over my head.
…Okay, that felt nice. So this old lady is Agatha, and my "mother" is Helga, some old ass names.
"Have you thought of a name?" the old woman asked.
And right on a blue screen slid into view.
[SYSTEM INITIALIZING]
[USER DETECTED]
[SYNCING…]
A system? Hell yeah! Woohoo! Yeah, baby!
[ Welcome, Fin. ]
"…You already know my name, fair enough."
[ Previous identity registered. ]
[ Would you like to retain this name? ]
-> YES
-> NO
Yeah, let's not overcomplicate things.
[ Name Confirmed: Fin ]
"His name shall be Fin" Helga nodded, combing my head with her fingers.
"Congratulations, Helga"
"Thank you. I appreciate the help, Agatha."
"Of course, child, I was happy to help you. For now, you must rest."
Agatha took me from my Mother's hands, allowing Helga to sleep. She walked out of the farmhouse.
Outside was a large field of animals, goats and some birds. The air felt crisp; I could tell how much cleaner it was just breathing it in.
I think it's obvious I'm not in my time, and with that system screen, I may not even be in my universe. I've read enough fanfics to know that you generally get a system when you travel to the world of a particular game, movie, or show.
The first thing is figuring out where I should go. Let's hope I'm in somewhere decent, and I'd kill myself if I were in Berserk or something. From the environment and the clothing Agatha and Helga wore, it seemed older, or perhaps a basic fantasy world.
Fuck, I guess that means Berserk is still on the table.
A system screen flickered once more…
[ Multiversal Gacha System Activated ]
[ Location: Faerûn ]
…Faerûn?
I mentally paused, then grinned.
[ Core Functionality Unlocked ]
Acquire abilities, items, and traits via rolls. Earn PP (Progress Points) through actions, achievements, and narrative influence. Progress scales with user growth
That's clean, although did they need to abbreviate "Progress Points"?
Another message popped up…
[ Early Growth Restriction Active ]
The user can only gain up to 20PP at the current age, limited external gain until reasonable strength is gained or until the user leaves the designated area.
Fuck, they're nerfing me this early?
[Confirmed.]
Oh, great, I got a sassy system.
Mmh, whatever, let's see…there we go, rolls!
The interface shifted again…
[ Available PP: 100 ]
[ Roll Cost: 100 PP ]
There was some other stuff on the page as well. So I've got the 100 PP each roll. 50% for common, 30% for uncommon,15% for rare, and a glorious 5% for mythical.
Five per cent, it might as well be zero with my luck.
But there was also a second, the guaranteed rare or mythical roll. It costs 1000PP. The chances for this are that 60% are rare and 40% is mythical. My heart, or whatever part of me that still felt like my old self, jumped at the thought. I could get Limitless or become a Saiyan; the opportunities are endless!
Agatha eventually brought me inside and placed me in a small cot
"You wait here, and I'll return with some yummy grub", she said gently.
She then proceeded to poke my cheeks.
Repeatedly…ma'am. I tried to push her away with my tiny baby hands.
It did nothing. After what felt like a personal violation, she finally left. I could feel the exhaustion building up.
'Status?" I yawned
A screen popped up, and I guess I was right.
[ STATUS ]
Name: Fin Ashthorn
Age: 0
PP: 100P
Ashthorn? That's a cool name, better than fucking Louvre. Also, a 100 to start?
That was generous. I then pressed on the large glowing button.
Gambling!
[Rolling…]
DING!
A new panel appeared…
[You have rolled...Shadowheart's Panties]
…yeah, this checks out.
I then tapped on the item…
Reward Type:Unusual Item
[Shadowheart's Panties] - Uncommon
Description: A dark, finely crafted undergarment belonging to the cleric Shadowheart. How this item was acquired or why it exists within the System remains unexplained. It carries a faint, lingering aura of Shar's influence… or maybe that's just your imagination.
Effect:
-> Slight increase to charisma when worn or carried
-> Minor resistance to charm-based effects
-> Weilder is just very weird
This is probably gonna bite in the ass later.
My eyes shifted to another tab.
Achievements.
I opened it…
[ ACHIEVEMENTS ]
First Steps → 10 PP
First Words → 20 PP
Make an adult laugh (5/50) → 200 PP
…oh.
My small lips curved; that was doable, very doable.
The door opened again, Agatha returning with a bowl of…something. She walked over, smiling, placing the bowl down on the table top beside her before picking
"You are quite the energetic baby," she said.
Alright, time to lock in. I let out a small, deliberate coo.
Her expression softened instantly.
"Oh, aren't you adorable?"
I scrunched my face, stuck my tongue out in the most exaggerated way I could manage.
She laughed.
"Oh, that's precious!"
[ Progress Updated: 6 / 50 Laughs ]
This is free.
I did it again, adding some random baby noises for effect.
She laughed harder.
[ Progress Updated: 7 / 50 Laughs ]
I stared at the notification.
Then at her. Then back at the notification.
"…yeah, I'm farming this."
If this were my life for now, I might as well optimise it. Time to milk this baby act for all it's worth...pun intended
…