To everyone's surprise, the day after Aegon announced the "Highgarden Incident," Dragonstone received a letter of plea from the Old Rose.
Highgarden had not yet fallen. The city still held strong, and no massacre had taken place. The Old Rose pleaded for the Dragon Queen's swift aid, promising absolute loyalty in return.
The Reach was weakening, and the fleet of the Arbor had been slaughtered by the Ironborn.
From the beginning, Euron's goal had always been clear—the Iron Throne.
Balon had never dreamed of conquering all Seven Kingdoms. To him, restoring the Old Way and wearing a crown for a fleeting taste of kingship was enough to satisfy his vanity.
Therefore, Euron's strategy was entirely different from Balon's.
During the War of the Five Kings, the royal fleet of the Iron Throne was destroyed in the Blackwater. The Arbor fleet besieged Dragonstone, and Lannisport's defenses were left thin.This made the Iron Fleet the strongest naval power across the Sunset Sea along Westeros's western coast.
To the north, the Ironborn seized Deepwood Motte, plundered coastal towns, occupied Moat Cailin, and blocked the passage between the North and the southern kingdoms—Balon declared himself King of the North.
To the south, the Ironborn raided Lannisport, captured the Shield Islands of the Reach, and threatened Oldtown's sea trade routes.These were bargaining chips—a means to plunder vast wealth while forcing the Iron Throne to acknowledge Balon as King in the North.
In short, Balon's ambition in the War of the Five Kings was confined to the North.
He hated the Starks.First, because when he rebelled, Eddard Stark led northern forces to kill his sons, breach his castle, and shatter his dream of kingship.Second, because Eddard took away his last surviving son—Theon.
Theon, of course, was Eddard's ward and the hostage that kept the Ironborn under control.
Naturally, the North's emptiness also played a role; most of its lords had followed Robb south, making it the softest target to squeeze.
In the end, Balon merely wanted one last glorious raid—to live out the Old Way.
Euron, however, was different. At the Kingsmoot, he had openly declared his ambition before all the Ironborn: to claim the world.
Yes, the Kingsmoot required each candidate to announce their goals once they ascended the Seastone Chair—essentially their campaign slogan.
Euron's slogan was to "plunder the world and become King of Westeros."Asha's, on the other hand, was: "Let's go north, seize some land, and farm."
The choice of the Ironborn was obvious.
Still, the Ironborn, though faithful to the Old Way, were not fools. If Euron hadn't shown the power to fulfill his "campaign promise," no one would have followed him.
At the Kingsmoot, Euron blew the Dragon Horn, proving he had the power to claim dragons.
And dragons, in Westeros, meant kingship.
But Euron was not one to sit idly and wait for fate. He didn't clutch the horn foolishly, expecting Drogon and Rhaegal to come to him.
He set dragons as his goal simply because they had reappeared in the world.
Even without dragons, he was confident he could seize the Iron Throne.
The legacy Balon left behind—Moat Cailin and the Shield Islands—became Euron's most valuable bargaining chips.
Moat Cailin blocked the Boltons' return north, while in the North, the two Baratheons sought to rise again, leaving the Iron Throne desperate.
The Shield Islands, like shields themselves, guarded the mouth of the Mander River, behind which stood Highgarden.
As their name suggests, the Shield Islands were vital to both Highgarden and the Reach, protecting them from storms—both those of nature and those of blood, brought by the Ironborn.
When the Shield Islands fell, the Ironborn were able to sail up the Mander, raiding villages and towns along its banks.
Those lands were directly held by House Tyrell!The "Honeywine Tourney" Dany attended in Oldtown was held to recruit champions against the increasingly rampant Ironborn pirates.
Even the "Gallant" Garlan abandoned his new fief—Brightwater Keep—to return and defend Highgarden.
This made Euron's two bargaining chips immensely valuable. Neither King's Landing nor Highgarden would refuse to negotiate with him.
With Moat Cailin and the Shield Islands, Euron could easily achieve two goals: marry Cersei and lure House Tyrell into a deadly trap.
Let's start with his marriage plan.
This was easy to understand. Had Tywin still been alive, he would have already married Cersei off to Balon as a concubine (Theon's mother was still alive then), in exchange for the Iron Islands' renewed submission to the Iron Throne.
Euron, in every way, was a better match—more capable and, on the surface, more temperate and rational. After taking the Seastone Chair, he restrained the Ironborn, halting their raids on the Reach's towns. Others mistook that for gentleness.
There was no reason Regent Kevan Lannister would reject his marriage proposal.
Once he became Cersei's husband, Euron would be only three steps away from the Iron Throne.
First, incite Cersei to kill Kevan (her bloodlust would enable the King's Blood curse ritual). Then he would be two steps away.
When Cersei returned to power as Queen Regent, Euron, as her consort, would stand right beside the Iron Throne.
Just one step left.But before taking that final step, Euron needed to help Cersei reclaim regency power.
His target: House Tyrell of Highgarden.
Returning to the previous point, Euron used the Shield Islands as bait, luring Highgarden into a fatal trap.
From the moment he planned to wed Cersei, Kevan, the Tyrells, and even young Tommen were marked for death.
They were obstacles in his path to the throne, and Highgarden's wealth was the fuel that would sustain his rule once he sat upon it.Indeed, from the instant he decided to eliminate the Tyrells, the pirate-born Euron had already set his eyes on their riches.
King's Landing, after all, survived only on Highgarden's gold.
Thus, his plan to destroy House Tyrell wasn't a spur-of-the-moment decision, nor a random massacre to satisfy the Old Way.
Every scheme linked perfectly to the next—one step taken, three foreseen.Everything unfolded under Euron's control.
And how would he destroy House Tyrell?Through negotiations over the return of the Shield Islands.
Long before he reached King's Landing, Euron had already announced his next moves: he would go to King's Landing to marry Cersei, then return Moat Cailin; afterward, he would sail with his bride west along the Mander to the Sunset Sea, and from the Shield Islands, set sail back to the Iron Islands. Passing by Highgarden, he would collect a ransom from the Tyrells, withdraw his Ironborn and fleet, and return the Shield Islands.
Before committing the "Shield Islands Massacre," Euron had always been seen as an honest, polite, and trustworthy man.
For example, right after finalizing his marriage with Cersei, he immediately ordered the Ironborn to withdraw from Cape Kraken.
For example, the very next day after the wedding, he began packing to return home, completely unmoved by the splendor of King's Landing.
In the eyes of others, if Kevan hadn't been murdered by the realm's most infamous villain—Tyrion—Euron would've already taken his newlywed, secondhand bride and gone home together.
When word spread that his in-laws had suffered from a shocking case of kin-slaying—"a nephew killing his uncle"—Euron seemed quite at a loss.
Especially with his foolish wife suddenly changing her mind, refusing to leave King's Landing and even planning to compete with the Tyrells for the Regency.
He still had a negotiation with the Tyrells that had been arranged long before!
Euron met with Hand of the King Mace Tyrell, presenting himself as a helpless husband unable to restrain his mad wife. With an expression of reluctant honesty, he said,"My wife is King Tommen's mother, so she may have the right to act as his guardian.
But I know my limits. The Greyjoys and the Iron Islands will not get involved in this.
I cannot control Cersei, but a Greyjoy's word is as good as gold. I will keep my promise—to return the Shield Islands occupied by the Ironborn.
What happens next depends on the situation in King's Landing.
If Cersei becomes Queen Regent, I will, of course, happily return to the capital as the Regent's husband.
If she fails, I'll take her away. She'll still be the Duchess of the Iron Islands."
Lord "Inflatable Fish" was pleased by Euron's self-awareness. He lifted his chin slightly, gave two small nods, and said with a faint smile,"Duke Euron, you are an honest man. I'll write to my mother and tell her to treat you well."
Euron smiled reassuringly and, before leaving, earnestly advised, "Lord Mace, I hope your conflict with my wife won't escalate or become too extreme.
After all, we're all one family, and we all serve King Tommen."
Leaving Cersei to perform her endless court dramas against the Tyrell father and daughter in King's Landing, Euron sailed downstream directly to Highgarden.
The negotiations went smoothly. "Honest Euron" accepted a handsome ransom and immediately agreed to withdraw all Ironborn from the Shield Islands.
"Seizing the Shield Islands was my brother's plan, and I deeply regret it. If it weren't for the need to give my men an explanation, I wouldn't even take a single copper from you.
It's not that I dislike money—no Ironborn does—but compared to three thousand golden dragons, I value Highgarden's friendship far more."
So said "Honest Euron" to his hosts during the lavish banquet arranged by the Queen of Thorns.
"Highgarden, too, values the friendship of the Duke of the Iron Islands. A toast—to friendship, and to the new marriage between Duke Euron and Queen Dowager Cersei!"
The Queen of Thorns raised her glass of golden wine in salute.
Then she turned and said coldly to her two grandsons, "Only the most foolish would ever trust the Ironborn. The friendship of an Ironman is worth less than an inflatable fish from the Summer Islands!
At least, thanks to your father's stupidity, the price of those inflatable fish has tripled.
Whenever people are so furious with him that they can't bear it anymore, yet still can't do anything about him, they add a dish of fried inflatable fish to their table."
—Wasn't she talking about herself?
Gallant Garlan and lame Willas exchanged awkward looks.
Ever since news had come from King's Landing that their father, Hand of the King Mace, and their sister, Queen Margaery, were fighting over the Regency, every meal their grandmother served included a dish of cherry-glazed fried inflatable fish.
It was no wonder the old lady was furious. Cersei had paraded naked through the streets, her reputation ruined; now married, she had lost her claim to regency within House Baratheon.
Cersei was also notoriously stupid—her blunders outnumbered all the good ideas the great strategists ever conceived in their lifetimes.
By any logic, such a woman was utterly unqualified to challenge the Tyrells.
Mace was King Tommen's father-in-law and thus eligible to act as Regent; Margaery, being Queen, was as well.
Many courtiers supported House Tyrell. By all appearances, the Tyrells held the upper hand.
And yet, somehow, Mace and Margaery together were barely tied with Cersei.
Being evenly matched with the Dragon Queen would be an honor—but being evenly matched with Cersei was nothing but an embarrassment.
In truth, the Queen of Thorns' choice for Regent was her granddaughter, the Little Rose.
First, it was perfectly legitimate—wives managing their husbands' lands and castles was common practice in Westeros. Second, the Little Rose was intelligent.
There are only wrong names, not wrong nicknames.
Margaery, called the "Little Rose," truly followed in her grandmother's footsteps, inheriting her wisdom and cunning. Mace Tyrell, on the other hand—nicknamed "the Inflatable Fish" by his own mother—had neither wisdom nor any of the martial skill he so prided himself on.
He had fought countless battles throughout his life, always with superior numbers, and never once achieved victory.
There's debate over who was the greatest general in the Seven Kingdoms.
Ser Barristan claimed the title; the Stag brothers refused to concede, glaring daggers at the old knight. Tywin squatted in the privy, smirking at them both. Randyll Tarly said nothing, his face set in stone. "Blackfish" Brynden Tully quietly raised his hand, only to meet the gaze of Lord Redwyne beside him. Ned and Robert stood off to the side, itching to join in—
But if asked who was the most incompetent commander in the realm, every eye would turn to the sighing Lord Inflatable Fish beneath the walls of Storm's End.
The Queen of Thorns had given him clear instructions: fully support Margaery's bid to become Queen Regent. But as the Hand of the King, he wasn't satisfied—he wanted, like Tywin and Kevan, to go one step further and become the Regent's father-in-law.
No ability, yet eager to play the big man—that was Lord Inflatable Fish in a nutshell.
No matter how eloquent Euron was, the Queen of Thorns would never trust him.
At that time, Cersei was locked in a struggle with the Tyrells for the Regency, and fearing Ironborn treachery, she immediately sent her strongest forces to reclaim the Shield Islands.
Lord Redwyne's fleet from the Arbor, and Ser Garlan Tyrell's knights of Highgarden.
They sailed together to the Shield Islands—and marched together straight into Euron's trap.
The entire force was annihilated.
(End of Chapter)
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