"Do not be afraid," it said in that sickeningly soothing voice. I was sure I'd heard that line before somewhere, but my memory wasn't cooperating.
Was it from a comic book? No, maybe a fantasy book. Who knows, who cares.
I had to pause for a sec. How did I recognize that the phrase was familiar? How did I even know that this girl in front of me was how I should've looked like, not this ghostly, unfeeling form I was stuck in?
"I see," it mused, quickly invading my personal space. And though I felt nothing, I still moved back to create some distance between us.
"I forget that humans temporarily lose their memories after death," it said.
I—she—it looked at me curiously, making me tremble a bit. Sure, it had my eyes, familiar and human but I could tell it wasn't human. And though I had questions on top of questions, when I opened my mouth, only one came out.
"What are you?" My voice was a bit shakier than I would've liked it to be.
It crossed my—its, arms and had a bemused look about it. And said, a bit over the top; I could tell it was stalling to build suspense. And suspense did build, theories running rampant in my mind. Then, in a booming voice, it said, "I am a God."
Oh, I thought. Like it was the most basic reveal ever... cause it was.
"The God of luck," he offered, a bit awkwardly.
…Silence.
I don't think it landed the way the "god" intended, 'cause it seemed to blush a bit from my lack of reaction, and the slightest pout appeared on its face—which I thought was kinda cute, but it was my face, so did that make me vain?
It was suddenly back in my face, and I instinctively lurched back, but it took my arms and held them softly in a firm grip, so I reluctantly stayed still.
I was under the impression that this ghostly form felt no sensations, but strangely, a warmth began emanating from where it held me. But that wasn't important right now.
"I have three questions," I said.
"I know." Its smile grew wider.
"First—"
Before I could even finish my first question, it rudely bulldozed through answering them.
"YES, you are dead. This is NOT the afterlife where you'll spend eternity, and this ISN'T how I look. I just figured it'd be better for you to be able to see me rather than speaking to a disembodied voice," it said in one breath.
I'm guessing it could still see the confusion on my face, 'cause it continued with, "I don't care what pronouns you call me by. But I guess technically the male pronouns will work just fine," he paused, then added, looking down at my body he'd hijacked, "even though I look like this."
"Wait, why did you decide to be me exactly?" I asked.
"Like I said, it was better than speaking as a disembodied voice. Plus, we aren't allowed to show mortals our true form, and I haven't really made my own look yet, sooooo, I thought yours would do. It's not like you'll be using it anymore."
"And why is that?"
"'Cause you're dead… girl. Keep up."
I was keeping up. I pulled my arms away from his hands and crossed them. What a shitty little god. I thought.
"I'm not shitty," he said, offended, could he read my mind?
"Then I suppose you're little, then?" I mused, taking a poke at him, making his eye twitch—my eye. It was so weird, seeing my body as someone else's.
"That's beside the point," he said. "Do you want to remember your life or not?"
That… shut me up quick. Did I want to remember? Of course I wanted to remember. Who wouldn't?
"Yes," I said simply.
He was silent for a long time, looking contemplative—or was he zoned out? It was one of the two, and I couldn't tell which one.
I was about to say something when he suddenly cupped my cheeks, warmth blooming again from the points of contact.
His touch had a calming effect. Then he whispered, looking deep into my eyes—those deep blue eyes, my deep blue eyes—
"I've never done this before." His voice was calm, though his eyes betrayed a hint of nervousness.
Then he brought his lips onto my forehead and kissed me. Warmth blooming there as well, making my whole face, ghostly as it was, flare up with a pleasant sensation. A tugging sensation, like a thin, silk-like thread pulling at my forehead.
I didn't know how to feel being kissed by my own lips, but I didn't get the chance to figure it out. Because as he pulled back, it felt like the thread snapped, and the last bit of consciousness I had left seemed to slip from my grasp, and I tumbled deeper into the void. The warmth on my cheeks—gone. The overwhelming numbness—gone.
There, free-falling, my life flashed before my eyes.
***
When I realized I was falling, I tried to fight it. It was like swimming through a hurricane—it was impossible. Fragments of memories swirled around me, like puzzle pieces slowly piecing themselves together.
I remembered my mother, the sting she'd leave on my cheek. I remembered my room, how the walls seemed to shake with their screams.
I remembered tears, scars, and anger… lots of anger.
Then the job interview.
A taste of what could've been?
That morning's coffee, offered to me by that handsome boy.
Then that fucking truck falling from the sky, crushing me on the pavement like a bug.
Reduced to a smear. What a way to go.
I bet my funeral was a closed casket… it wouldn't have mattered either way.
I doubt anybody showed up.
Then he released me, and like waking up from a nightmare, I was suddenly back in the void...
Numb again.
"Do you remember?" he asked, a bit excitedly. Which made me think he either didn't see what I just saw, or he was just an asshole. But either way, I didn't care.
"Yes," I answered, biting back my tears. Could I even cry in this ghostly form?
"Great," he said. "I didn't think it would work. But it did." a relieved giggle escaping his lips, "the Goddess of Death can suck it," he continued, looking at me expectantly. "Do you remember your name?"
I looked at him, my face staring back at me. Those blue eyes. I really was dead, wasn't I.
I sighed.
"Sofia," I said.