Our first interaction was supposed to be normal. Just someone I saw randomly, someone forgettable. I wish I could say that was the case. But it wasn't.
The day I saw him, I was gone. Whipped. And the worst part? I had my finals the next day. I didn't even have my glasses on, which might explain why I thought he looked so good. But honestly, even blurred, he did. It was his clothing style, his physique, the calm way he carried himself. From afar, he looked handsome too—an added bonus.
And then I did the dumbest thing I've ever done.
I saw him, thought of him, and just sprinted to where he was. No plan, no logic. Just desperation. He had caught my attention so completely that I, the all-time nerd, forgot I had an exam the next morning.
But even in that desperation, I was shy. The last thing I wanted was to get my heart broken right before finals. So I did what I still cringe about to this day (and trust me, you'll find a lot of "pretend tricks" in here—the kind you use to act like you're ignoring your crush when you're actually simping hard).
He was wearing all gray: a light gray sweater, glasses that suited his face perfectly. The kind of glasses I've always loved. I even bought a similar pair once, but they didn't suit me. Still, every guy I've ever liked has worn that style. At one point, I even thought I liked two different people—only to realize they were both him. So, yes, the glasses theory got debunked. They were just an added bonus.
And he was exactly my type. The silent, broody kind. And his voice—soft, calm, the kind that wraps around you. That voice made me want him even more… but it also made me pull away. Want and fear, all tangled together.
So, what did I do? Probably the cringiest thing imaginable. I opened WhatsApp and pretended to be teaching a friend something—sending long, fake voice notes—just so I'd look busy and not like I was staring. I didn't have my glasses, so seeing clearly was already a struggle, but I didn't want him to think I was stalking him.
He was walking in the garden outside, long strides, looking so unbothered. Normally, I would've started walking too, but this time I froze. Too shy. So instead, I stood awkwardly in the corner until another person left his spot. I paced slowly in my little area, pretending to have something to do, while he walked on the other side. Then he went inside the café.
I thought he had left. I kept recording voice notes and was about to walk back inside when—bam—he came out again. Panic. Instant. I pretended to say something casual into my phone, something like, "If you want to tell me something, then just say it," hoping it sounded like real advice to someone else. He walked past, I kept recording, and eventually he left.
Only then did I let myself breathe again.
When I finally went back inside, reality hit me: I had finals tomorrow. My glasses were still missing. And I now had a full-blown crush on someone I hadn't even spoken to.