Jiraiya led Naruto through the dense forest path, hands tucked into his robe, pretending not to think about the invisible noose of dishwashing duty hanging over his head if he so much as corrupted the boy. He had stared death in the face more times than he could count, but nothing quite compared to the soul-crushing fear of scrubbing plates under the watchful eye of Sayori Arata. It wasn't natural for a woman to be that terrifying without raising her voice.
Naruto, blissfully unaware of the unseen power that dictated his life, bounced along beside him, eyes gleaming with excitement. "So, what are we gonna learn today? Some awesome jutsu? Maybe a super transformation? Or—or—maybe even some kind of secret pervy technique?!"
Jiraiya snapped his head toward him so fast he nearly pulled a muscle. "Shut up! You want to get me killed?!"
Naruto blinked. "Huh?"
Jiraiya looked around, half-expecting Sayori to materialize from the trees with a disapproving look and a mountain of unwashed dishes. When nothing happened, he exhaled heavily. "Kid, I'm begging you. Do not say the 'P' word again."
Naruto scratched his head. "Which one? Perv—"
Jiraiya clamped a hand over his mouth. "Not. Another. Word."
Naruto flailed before finally prying himself free. "She's not even here, ya know!"
Jiraiya's eye twitched. "She doesn't have to be."
Naruto huffed, crossing his arms. "You're scared of my mom, aren't you?"
Jiraiya scoffed. "Me? The great Jiraiya? Scared?" He scoffed again, but it came out slightly weaker. "Don't be ridiculous. I just… respect her ability to end my life without touching me."
Naruto blinked. "That… sounds like fear."
Jiraiya ignored him and kept walking.
When they arrived at the training field, Jiraiya finally turned to him with an exaggerated stretch. "Alright, brat. Today, I'm teaching you the Summoning Jutsu."
Naruto's eyes widened. "Oh! Oh! What do I get to summon? A dragon? A giant warrior? Ooh, what about—"
Jiraiya cut him off by shoving a scroll into his hands. "First, sign here. In blood."
Naruto frowned at him. "You know, that sounds super villain-y."
"Just bite your thumb and do it."
Naruto sighed, muttering something about how Jiraiya needed better phrasing, before biting his thumb and scrawling his name onto the scroll.
"Alright, now focus your chakra," Jiraiya instructed. "Make the proper hand seals and slam your palm to the ground."
Naruto nodded, forming the seals and slamming his hand down with all the dramatic flair of a battle hero. "SUMMONING JUTSU!"
Poof.
A tiny, flopping tadpole appeared.
Naruto's face fell. "Huh?"
Jiraiya groaned. "I see you're a slow learner."
Naruto huffed. "Hey! That's not true!"
Jiraiya raised an eyebrow.
Naruto thought for a moment before muttering, "Okay, maybe a little. Mom usually makes me do something a few dozen to a hundred times before I get it."
Jiraiya choked. "A hundred?!"
Naruto nodded as if this were completely normal. "She says I have a stubborn brain."
Jiraiya muttered under his breath. "More like a rock-solid idiot brain."
Naruto scowled. "What was that?"
"Nothing," Jiraiya said quickly, rubbing his temples.
After several more failures, Jiraiya frowned and placed a hand on Naruto's back, scanning his chakra flow. His eyes immediately narrowed. The boy's chakra was perfectly normal.
Wait a second.
Jiraiya stiffened. "Naruto. Who removed the seal blocking your chakra?"
Naruto blinked. "Oh, Mom did a while back. She said it was messing with my training, so she fixed it."
Jiraiya felt a full-body shudder. "And you didn't think to mention this?"
Naruto scratched his cheek. "Should I have?"
Jiraiya closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Of course, Sayori did it first. Of course, Naruto didn't even notice.
He exhaled sharply. "Alright, new plan."
Minutes later, Naruto found himself standing on the edge of a very, very high cliff.
Naruto peered down, unimpressed. "So… what exactly are we doing here?"
Jiraiya cracked his knuckles. "Teaching you how to summon properly."
Naruto nodded. "Cool, cool. What do I do?"
Jiraiya grinned. "You do this."
Then he shoved Naruto off the cliff.
"YOU LUNATIC!" Naruto screamed as he plummeted.
Jiraiya waved. "Good luck!"
As Naruto fell toward certain death, his vision suddenly blurred, and he found himself standing in a dark, flooded chamber.
A deep voice rumbled. "So… the brat finally shows up."
Naruto turned slowly to see two massive, glowing red eyes staring down at him. Behind iron bars stood Kurama, his immense form barely visible in the shadows.
Naruto took a step back. "Whoa. You're… you're huge."
Kurama smirked. "And you're an idiot."
Naruto frowned. "Rude."
Kurama stretched lazily. "Listen, kid. I have no interest in saving you."
Naruto crossed his arms. "Well, that's just mean."
Kurama exhaled through his nose. "Tch. If it weren't for your mother, I'd let you splatter across the rocks."
Naruto blinked. "Wait—Mom? What does she have to do with this?"
Kurama shuddered.
Naruto swore he saw actual fear in the fox's massive eyes.
Kurama growled. "You don't need to know. Just take the chakra, and don't make me regret this."
Before Naruto could ask more questions, a surge of red energy flooded through him.
Back in reality, Naruto slammed his palm onto the ground mid-fall.
POOF.
Jiraiya watched from above as the dust cleared.
There, standing in all his massive, toad-like glory, was Gamabunta.
Naruto landed on his head, blinking in awe. "Whoa! I did it!"
Gamabunta blinked. "Oi. Who the hell—"
Then he froze.
A crushing pressure descended on the area. A silent, unseen force of pure, overwhelming killing intent.
Gamabunta's pupils shrank.
His instincts screamed.
Something—**someone—**was watching.
And they were pissed.
Gamabunta swallowed hard, turning to Naruto with a forced grin. "O-oh! Great job, kid! Amazing summoning! You, uh, need anything? A drink? A throne?"
Naruto blinked. "Huh? Why are you sweating?"
Gamabunta forced a chuckle. "No reason! Haha! Absolutely no reason at all!"
Jiraiya, feeling the same pressure, very slowly backed away.
Oh. Oh, this was bad.
Sayori's silent, invisible wrath had just sent both him and a legendary toad boss into full retreat.
He had never seen anything like this.
Jiraiya rubbed his face. "What fresh hell is this woman?"
Later, as they returned to Sayori's estate, Naruto excitedly recounted his triumph. Sayori listened patiently, sipping her tea.
Jiraiya muttered, "You really don't need to be that scary."
Sayori raised an eyebrow. "I don't know what you mean."
Jiraiya sighed. "Of course you don't."
Naruto beamed. "Man, today was awesome!"
Jiraiya scowled. "I'll never sleep again."
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