The final day of winter vacation had arrived.
Despite it being a holiday, Hikigaya once again found himself preparing to go out. He stood in front of the mirror, adjusting his windbreaker with a small sigh.
"Where did my vacation go…?"
The entire break had been a series of outings—gift deliveries, karaoke ambushes, awkward bonding sessions—and now, one more trip before it ended.
But this one felt different. Calmer.
He was going to meet with Hiyori Shiina at the library to exchange books and talk about their latest reads. Compared to everything else, this was peaceful. Studying with Hiyori wasn't tiring. It was relaxing. And Hikigaya didn't mind it one bit.
---
The library was nearly deserted, as expected during winter vacation. Only a few diligent students wandered among the stacks.
With a can of MAX Coffee in one hand, Hikigaya stepped inside and immediately spotted her.
Hiyori was already there, sitting quietly with a soft smile.
She waved as he approached.
"Good morning. You're early," Hikigaya said, setting down the books he'd borrowed from her.
"I've been here a while," she replied with a gentle smile. "You're actually ten minutes early too."
"Really?"
That caught him off guard. He didn't think anyone spent their holidays holed up in the library. But here she was, as if it were her second home.
"Let's start."
Hiyori picked up one of the books he'd recommended. Hikigaya recognized it instantly—and regretted it.
It was No Longer Human.
Why had he thought this was a good recommendation?
As she read aloud one of the lines, her expression shifted.
> "Because of cowardice, I avoid life. Because of pride, I don't choose to live. I reject crude optimism…"
Then she looked up at him, smirking slightly.
"Hikigaya-kun, do you think everyone around you is stupid?"
He winced, blushing. That line hit a little too close to home.
"Not… entirely," he muttered.
There was a time when he really did think most of his classmates were shallow fools—especially the ones who flirted or played around without concern. But now… now things were more complicated. He didn't quite think that way anymore.
"Actually…" Hiyori leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, "I sometimes think they're kind of dumb too."
Then she giggled behind her hand.
"…You're more evil than I thought," Hikigaya said with a smile, surprised.
"That's mean!"
She feigned offense, but quickly recovered. "Well… maybe I am a little evil. When I see something interesting, I kind of want to tease it."
Her eyes glinted playfully as they met his.
"When I saw you before, I couldn't help but want to tease you too."
Hikigaya blinked.
He hadn't expected that.
"Do you… hate that?"
He paused, then shook his head.
"Not really. I guess I'm kind of twisted too. As long as it's done in a nice way, it's not bad."
He thought of Komachi—his sister—and how her mischievous nature somehow made her more lovable.
"Glad to hear it."
She smiled and leaned back. Then her expression shifted slightly, becoming more thoughtful.
"What do you think about couples at this school?"
"…What do you mean?"
Hikigaya tilted his head, unsure where this was going.
"Well, there's that rule about not having inappropriate relationships between students…"
"That's the school policy, yeah."
Hoshinomiya-sensei had once said that unless someone died, it wasn't her business. But in general, romantic relationships weren't encouraged.
In practice, Hikigaya rarely saw couples at school—nothing like the walking PDA disasters of junior high. Maybe only Hirata and Karuizawa, but even that was a façade.
"But what if two people from different classes start dating?" Hiyori continued. "Wouldn't that be a problem, since everyone's trying to get into Class A? Only one class can graduate at the top, right?"
"That… would cause tension."
Hikigaya didn't even have to think about it. He imagined the drama.
> "Do you love me or want to reach Class A?" "You only care about yourself!" "I've misjudged you—let's break up!"
It was the perfect recipe for heartbreak.
But then, after a brief silence, he spoke.
"If their feelings fall apart that easily, then they weren't real in the first place."
Hiyori's eyes widened.
"Hikigaya-kun… you're amazing."
Her expression grew complicated. That answer… it cut through the uncertainty she'd been feeling.
If someone truly liked another person, they wouldn't abandon them just to climb the ladder. At least, not someone like Hikigaya.
She suddenly understood something:
Hikigaya was someone who, if he loved someone, would go all in—even if it meant betraying the class.
"No, not really." Hikigaya looked away. "It's not like this has anything to do with me. It was just a random thought."
"Still… I didn't expect you to be this picky."
"Picky?"
"Spiritually," Hiyori clarified. "You're looking for someone who can connect with you on a deeper level. That's not easy."
"I'm not even looking."
Hikigaya frowned. "Finding someone who wants to date me is already hard enough, even if I lowered my standards."
He knew where he stood. Even if people like Yume or Menlai saw him as a friend, it was barely that—fragile and new.
Confessing to anyone would probably get him rejected on the spot. And worse, they'd still try to stay friends afterward. That kind of lingering kindness was sometimes more painful.
"I don't know…" Hiyori tilted her head. "I think you could find someone, if you really tried."
"Haha… yeah, good joke."
But a strange thought crossed his mind.
If he were to fall for someone… he couldn't imagine it being anyone else.
And yet, that very thought made him uneasy.
Because if it wasn't Hiyori, Ichinose, or anyone else—then who?
"Alright, let's focus on books."
He brushed away the awkward tension and handed her a new list.
They quietly exchanged titles, recommending new reads. No drama. No teasing. Just pages turning and low voices.
This was his kind of comfort.
---
He thought back to the days spent with Menlai and the others—shopping, karaoke, forced group energy.
It wasn't unpleasant anymore.
But it also wasn't like this.
With Hiyori, he could simply exist.
There was no need to fill silences or think of what to say next. That, more than anything, felt safe.
And he liked that.
Even if he'd never say it aloud.
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