Chenzhou looked between Mingzhe and Hikari with suspicion. "Is something wrong?"
"No." Mingzhe sighed. Chenzhou knew Mingzhe and Hikari had been friends for years. Before Mingzhe and Chenzhou had become close, there was no one Mingzhe was as close to outside his own family as he was with Hikari. It hadn't occurred to him that it could be a problem. He'd been so caught up with Chenzhou and Eirian that he hadn't had time for much else. Maybe Hikari was hurt. Mingzhe hadn't been paying as much attention to him, but Hikari was married. Mingzhe remembered the first couple of years when Hikari and his wife were learning to balance their relationship with each other and with others.
Mingzhe had been so distracted, he hadn't realized he'd stopped making an effort for his friend. No wonder Hikari had been so uninterested whenever he tried to talk about them.
It was yet another failure for Mingzhe to add to the list.
Hikari glanced at the door, clearly looking for an exit. "I should return to the training fields. We were short on trainers before I left."
A pang of guilt stabbed at Mingzhe. "I'm sorry I called you away."
Hikari gave him a soft smile, which made Chenzhou's frown deepen. "It was no bother, Mingzhe. I will always come when you call." He bowed again, but this time he didn't wait for Chenzhou. He straightened and stepped out. He offered Mingzhe one last smile and pulled the door shut behind him and left Mingzhe and Chenzhou in an awkward silence.
Mingzhe turned to Chenzhou, surprised to find him frowning at the door. "Chenzhou?"
The other man started, turned. "Yes?"
"Are you alright?" He'd never seen Chenzhou act this way. He almost seemed jealous, but that would have been ridiculous. Hikari was Mingzhe's best friend. Chenzhou was…much more important.
"I'm fine." But Chenzhou even sounded short. "What was he saying?"
Suddenly, it occurred to Mingzhe that telling Chenzhou what Hikari had advised might not be a good idea. "Nothing."
Chenzhou's expression darkened.
Mingzhe backtracked. "I just asked his opinion on things. We're friends."
Chenzhou's expression lightened, though it didn't clear completely. "Oh?"
"He has known me longer than anyone besides my family. He gives good advice."
"Of course." If Mingzhe didn't know better, he'd almost have said Chenzhou was sulking. "What did he suggest?"
Mingzhe hesitated, but he recognized now that not telling Chenzhou would just make it worse. "He said I should step back."
"No." Chenzhou's response was swift and strong.
Mingzhe sighed. "Lord Yin suggests the same thing." Which was strange because Hikari usually differed in opinion from his mother and Lord Yin, but Mingzhe was too caught up in Chenzhou to dwell on it now.
"Absolutely not." Chenzhou snapped. "They want you to admit guilt?"
"No, they were both very clear about that." He sat back down, letting Chenzhou hover. Something he was beginning to notice, Chenzhou liked to do when he was worried. "But they did point out that my guilt doesn't actually matter in this situation."
"Of course, it does." Chenzhou scoffed. Chenzhou was well known for not seeing things in black and white; it made him an excellent leader most of the time, but Mingzhe had begun to notice that it wasn't necessarily the same for those he cared about. He refused to see anything Eirian had done in a negative light, which, while Mingzhe agreed, was certainly an extreme opinion. Especially since he also didn't see anything about her as terrifying. Mingzhe loved her, but he could easily admit that he'd never met someone as terrifying. "If you step back, the court will take it as an admission of guilt, and the outcome of the investigation won't matter."
Chenzhou wasn't wrong either. But Mingzhe was starting to think Hikari and Lord Yin weren't either. How was it possible for all of them to be right? Who was he supposed to listen to?
"If the majority of the court thinks you're guilty," Chenzhou continued. "You won't be able to come back. Ever." And Chenzhou wouldn't be able to pardon him without damaging his own position. "You need to stay strong until the investigation proves you innocent."
"They're shunning me, Chenzhou." Mingzhe hadn't actually told him, or Eirian, that he was being ignored by the rest of the court, mostly because not having to deal with the nobles would have been a relief any other time.
Chenzhou bristled. "What? Since when?"
"Since the war ended." Chenzhou rarely got angry; it wasn't in his nature, but he was the closest Mingzhe had ever seen. "Don't. You and I both know they could be doing much worse."
Chenzhou deflated. "I didn't realize…"
"It hardly matters." Mingzhe felt the startling urge to reassure him. "I don't care about being shunned. If anything, it's less stressful than trying to keep up with everyone." Chenzhou finally cracked a smile. He felt the same way. "I don't want to step back, Chenzhou."
The leader of the Camelia finally relaxed, and Mingzhe pulled him into Hikari's empty chair.
"I'm relieved," Chenzhou admitted, reaching over to take Mingzhe's hand.
"But they are not wrong that this situation is not progressing well."
"The situation is not yet resolved." Chenzhou insisted.
He was started to sound more and more like Eirian Mingzhe realized, and it made him smile.
"There is still hope." Chenzhou sounded absolutely sure of himself, which warmed Mingzhe from the inside out.
"I believe you." Mingzhe smiled. "But I do think we need to be careful until things are resolved. I don't want you or Eirian hurt-"
The press of lips against his silenced him. Mingzhe froze, eyes wide.
Chenzhou was kissing him.
Chenzhou was kissing him.
The press of warm lips against his own was strange in a comforting way. Something sparked in his chest that he hadn't felt before. Bright and hot and not at all as terribly as Yunli and Zhuli had always insisted it could be when they teased him. Mingzhe had only been kissed once or twice before, during dalliances that had been as empty as they had been unfulfilling. Those first few fumbles had been why Mingzhe hadn't really tried very hard to have more and instead dedicated himself to work.
But Chenzhou felt different. There was a warmth when their skin touched that was as reassuring as it was enticing, and when Chenzhou pulled away, the cold that replaced the warmth made him shiver.
Chenzhou was wide-eyed, just as surprised by his actions as Mingzhe, and they stared at one another in foolish silence.
~ tbc