Yunli fiddled with her teacup as Eric debated how much to trust her with. He trusted Eirian without question, and the fact that she had chosen Yunli went far.
Yunl's own honesty was as refreshing as it was surprising. Her lack of enjoyment in sex meant that there was one area where Eric did not have to worry about loyalty.
But he also greatly enjoyed those activities, and while he'd been prepared to be loyal to one woman for the rest of his life, he'd assumed sex would be part of that and more than just to have children.
"Princess Soliel mentioned…an attachment." Yunli finally offered, voice timid.
Defensiveness immediately made Eric glare, and she rocked back in her chair. He was as fierce as his cousin in temper.
Terrified, she had miscalculated. Yunli froze. Not unlike a rabbit caught in the gaze of a hawk.
"Did she?" Eric asked, voice dripping with acid.
"S-she wanted to ensure I was willing to accept it." Yunli tried to keep her voice steady.
"And?" He still sounded furious, and she wondered how much of it was at Eirian for telling her or at Yunli for daring to bring it up.
"I would not accept a dalliance for dalliance's sake. But if you love someone and you cannot marry them for whatever reason, I would accept that. I would hope we can come to love one another as friends, as partners raising our children, and this kingdom together. I know I cannot demand anything, that I do not have a right, but I would at least ask for honesty so that I would not be a fool." It was hard to get out. Yunli had never thought she'd marry someone so prestigious and so far above her own family. It felt strange to have to acknowledge that she had little power in this pairing. And even less value outside of any children she might bear or any level of friendship that might manage to establish. She could prove to be a great Queen, but unless he turned out to be a horrible King, that would matter little. There were Kings and Queens that had ruled alone during Sorrow's existence, and Eric was more than capable of being one of them and handling the responsibilities of both.
"You would accept a marriage without the expectation of love or loyalty?"
"I am not a child." Yunli shook her head. "All marriages are partnerships. My parents do not seem like a good match on paper, and yet they have been happy together for four decades now. I want a partner, your grace, not some lovesick fool who writes me poetry and buys me expensive gifts and never sees beyond the passion we might share. As I said, I do not feel that passion. For anyone, but I understand that is not the case for most. I would ask anyone to give up something they need simply because I do not need it."
Eric seemed to relax a fraction, though he was still on edge. "That is not something I am willing to go without."
Yunli nodded. "I did not expect so."
Eric tooka deep breath, forced down the anger. "You are being surprisingly reasonable about it."
"Princess Soliel was quite in-depth in her advice," Yunli admitted quietly. "She cares for you deeply, and she wanted to make sure there was nothing that would… she wanted to make sure I understood."
Eric was silent for a moment. "I do have…interests. An attachment." He looked away briefly, then back at her. "But it is not…I have not acted on it. Yet. I do not know if I ever will."
Something about that was terribly sad. It felt like Eric had resigned himself to never acting on it, and she didn't know enough to know why. A love acknowledged but avoided seemed terribly tragic.
And avoidable.
"Do you think they do not… feel the same?" Yunli wasn't sure how much she was allowed to ask, but she'd already stepped into dangerous territory, so there was no point in turning back now.
Eric sighed, the last of the anger leaving him. "I do not know, but I value them too much to risk losing them."
"Is there no chance…" Perhaps she held on to more childish hope than she'd realized.
Eric shrugged. "I do not believe I am objective on the matter." Which was a surprising level of awareness and honesty, but perhaps one she should have expected from the King of Sorrow.
A figure stepped out of the shadows. A man of Eric's age who did not wear the uniform of a knight or a soldier, but something wild. A messenger or scout, perhaps, Yunli thought. He blended into his surroundings with ease, which suggested impressive skill. A hood lay against his back, suggesting he didn't go around with his face out for everyone to see.
Eric's eyes rested on him for a moment before returning to Yunli. "Pardon the intrusion."
"Of course." Yunli smiled, watching as the man approached Eric and leaned down so they could have a whispered conversation, despite Yunli sitting across from them.
Eric was comfortable in his presence. Comfortable enough to let him approach from behind him without any concern for his safety.
The messenger wasn't unattractive either; if Yunli ever felt that sort of thing, she imagined she could feel it for him.
For both of them. He was dark in contrast to Eric's lightness. His skin tanned from long hours in the sun, dark auburn hair cut short but left wild, and eyes like roasted chestnuts. He was as tall as Eric, but slightly leaner. Built for stamina instead of strength. And he seemed equally comfortable in Eric's presence.
They must have known one another for years, Yunli mused. Perhaps that was why Eric had hesitated to reach out. Eric was famous for his service in the Imperial Army for most of his life. For most of that life, it had seemed very unlikely that he would ever become King, so he had dedicated himself to being a soldier, and many of his soldiers remained deeply loyal now that he wore the crown. If he told the Imperial Army to cross the Wasteland at the height of summer, they would do so singing his name.
It was a marked difference from his father, who'd been respected more than loved.
The messenger straightened, and Eric rubbed his temple with his fingers, fighting off a headache.
"Is there trouble?" Yunli asked, worried. "Should I leave?"
Eric shook his head. "No. It is nothing that can be dealt with now."
Yunli fell silent. Eric clearly didn't want to continue talking about it, but she didn't want the messenger to leave just yet. She wanted a chance to get the measure of the other man. Just enough to let her know if it was worth it to try and find a balance that could make a marriage work between Yunli and Eric.
She smiled, tried to hide her nerves behind friendliness. "Are you thirsty? There is plenty of tea left."
~ tbc