My name is Kitarō. I'm 31 years old and a ninja employed by Hidden Sand Village's Yuexi Peninsula Security Forces, Fourth Brigade, Second Squadron, Third Squad—an ordinary genin.
Though I'm a genin, I'm very different from other ninja. Because right now, I'm a dead man. That's right—I'm currently a corpse.
Despite living in wartime, I didn't die on the battlefield but from malignant pneumonia. Though I didn't spend too long in this world, at least I died of natural causes. In these times when human life is worth less than a dog's, that should count as lucky.
My not-so-long life? How to describe it in two words: ordinary. No distinguished family background, no exceptional talent, no stroke of incredible luck. I'm also pretty lazy—not willing to train day and night like other ninja, constantly honing skills and studying jutsu. I never advanced to chūnin after graduating from ninja school. Think about it—the chūnin exams are so difficult! Why waste effort preparing when I could chat with girls at the pleasure quarters instead?
But my luck wasn't bad. Right after graduating from ninja school, Yuexi Peninsula development began. My father, a veteran chūnin of Hidden Sand Village, moved heaven and earth finding connections, calling in favors, and swallowing his pride to finally squeeze me into the Yuexi Peninsula Security Forces as an ordinary security ninja. Initially I was reluctant, but my father slapped me directly. "You brat, do you think this position came easy? Get your ass to work!"
When I put on the uniform, I realized my old man's decision was brilliant.
Hidden Sand Village's security forces were just second-line troops maintaining public order. No need to fight desperately for battle achievements like standing army ninja, no need to exhaust ourselves taking missions like reserve ninja.
Daily work was just patrolling, maintaining order, catching the occasional thief, beating up some thugs. Life couldn't be easier. Even better, the pay was decent. As a single guy with no family to support, the security forces provided dormitories—no need to save money to buy property on Yuexi Peninsula where every inch of land was worth gold. My monthly salary was more than enough, leaving plenty for me to live it up in Yuexi Peninsula's entertainment district.
During the anti-corruption campaign, many of my superiors fell from grace, but that had nothing to do with me. I was just a small fry—corruption and bribery weren't even options for someone like me. At most I'd take some small benefits on the street, but even cleanup wouldn't reach my level. So I could continue my carefree days.
Though I was mediocre in everything, I did have one advantage—I was born with good looks. From birth, neighbors all said this child was truly handsome, naturally possessing aristocratic bearing—too bad he was born into the wrong family.
In Yuexi Peninsula's entertainment district, I was the most dazzling guy. Many girls were willing to give me discounted services. Some even went further—one older "princess" told me while drunk that if I just nodded, she'd retire and marry me.
Marry? Ridiculous! One person's money spent by two, then raising kids on top of that—why would I do something so stupid?
So my happy life continued happily, and even the outbreak of the Third Great Ninja War didn't greatly impact my lifestyle.
Here, I'm very grateful to Third Kazekage Jinghang-sama. Despite the war, he still didn't reduce the security forces' benefits, though work became slightly busier.
With the war's outbreak, large numbers of outsiders flooded Yuexi Peninsula. The streets became a mixed bag—pickpocketing, scamming, swindling, and all sorts of schemes increased. These things I still had to handle, otherwise I couldn't justify this generous salary.
My life ended because of this sole responsibility. That day I spotted a pickpocket on the street and immediately shouted to stop him. Seeing this, the guy turned and ran. I immediately gave chase. Hmph! This guy was clearly a stranger—daring to commit crimes on my territory without even saying hello? Outrageous!
This guy was rat-faced and sickly-looking. With that physique, could he outrun me? I'd attended ninja school for seven years, after all.
I performed a stylish backflip, landing in front of him, and delivered a front kick to his abdomen. Actually, according to ninja school taijutsu requirements, such flashy moves weren't recommended, but in broad daylight with crowds watching, I had to display my cool image.
Sure enough, my stylish moves drew cheers from passersby. But that thief actually sprayed blood at my face, covering my head and face completely. Damn unlucky! I raised my foot and gave that bastard a fierce beating. Bastard, ruining my glorious image!
The thief was arrested and detained. I washed my face and continued working, but then things changed.
I began losing appetite, coughing constantly, running low fevers frequently. I thought it was a common cold, bought some cold medicine from the pharmacy. Symptoms improved somewhat, so I didn't pay attention.
But after two weeks, the condition became more severe. I developed a high fever that wouldn't break, breathing difficulties, and body tremors. Though I held no position in the security forces, I had considerable seniority and lived in a private single room. Due to wartime, most security force ninja were transferred to guard Sun Harbor. The huge security forces dormitory housed few people—no one to call for help.
I felt congestion in my lungs, breathing became increasingly difficult. Finally, I couldn't catch my breath at all and died one night—from illness.
I wasn't discovered until the next day by a colleague from my group.
The medical examiner checked my mouth and nasal cavity, flipped my eyelids.
"He died from a blood-transmitted malignant pneumonia. Originally not serious—some specific antibiotics would have cured it. But he was too careless, didn't take it seriously at all, and literally dragged himself to death. Look, his face is purple-red, expression fierce—looks exactly like someone who drowned. I'd bet his lungs are full of bubbles..."
Then I was placed in the underground morgue freezer of Yuexi Peninsula Central Hospital.
Sigh, my life ended just like that. Though I suppose I'd eaten what I should eat, played what I should play, still... I felt somewhat unwilling.
This lifetime was too ordinary—thirty years without accomplishing a single earth-shaking deed. Unfortunately, I was already dead now. I'd have to wait for the next life.
Who knew I'd still accomplish an earth-shaking deed—not before death, but after! Something that would change a war, change the fate of an entire ninja village!
The day after I entered the morgue, the medical examiner brought three people to my corpse.
One was clearly Security Forces Commander Roshikuya, a jōnin. Another—good heavens—was actually Yuexi Peninsula Temporary Commander Kakuzu-sama! Why would these big shots come to see me?
There was one I didn't recognize, wearing a mask, looked like an intelligence division ninja.
Just as I was puzzled, the medical examiner began explaining:
"This is currently the most suitable corpse. Died from malignant pneumonia, condition extremely similar to drowning. Age, height, build, appearance—all most fitting."
Kakuzu-sama looked me up and down, nodding with satisfaction.
"He does have good looks, somewhat like a young master. Him then. Eishō, begin."
The masked ninja responded and began stripping my "patient gown" completely clean.
Hey, what the hell?! Corpse abuse?! Stop!
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