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Chapter 13 - A CHOICE, THEY SAY

I'm falling back into that dark hole I just crawled out of

Funny thing is it's even more pitch black then I remember

The feeling of my body going numb and my emotions disappearing isn't something I've missed

Though it's something I've become accustomed to

Slowly going back to the fake smiles and loud laughing so I won't have to feel the pain

As long as I can keep the voices silent I won't feel pain

Going back to my mantra that I'm okay

Telling myself that as long as I fake it I'll make it and I won't have to go through it again

It's just a phase to prove that you're all grown up

That the dark hole in my mind doesn't exist it's just a pigment of my imagination

And I'm crying because I'm dramatic not because I'm hurting

Back to convincing myself that everything is fine and that I'm okay

Knowing deep down that it's all a lie

As some have said mental health issues are a choice they don't exist

So I'm being dramatic

I only have panic attacks because I've been overthinking

Overthinking is for people who have bills they say

Crying is for those who have responsibilities not someone as young as me

So I'm fine in the eyes of society

That concludes my fate

And my fate is a happy ending

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