Standing outside the room again, Kanade took a deep breath before slowly pushing the door open.
Even as he stepped inside, he still held onto a faint hope: perhaps Utaha was truly calm and composed simply because she trusted him.
But the moment he saw her, he realized things wouldn't be that simple.
Utaha was kneeling in the traditional seiza position, facing the doorway. Upon seeing him, she promptly lowered her head in an exaggerated bow, her voice full of mock humility.
"This lowly woman is unworthy. Please, I beg for your guidan—"
Kanade didn't wait for her to finish. He immediately slammed the door shut and took another deep breath. Clearly, he had opened the door incorrectly.
After calming himself, he tried again.
This time, Utaha remained kneeling but simply tilted her head at him, a look of feigned innocence on her face, as if to say, What's the matter?
Kanade: "…"
I should be the one asking that question! What is this performance supposed to be?
Realizing that it might be best to take control of the situation, he cleared his throat, his expression serious.
"Senpai, there's something important I need to address with you first."
Better to lay things out in the open, he thought. At least it would show that he'd thought everything through carefully.
"Oh? What might that be, Nii-san~?" Utaha replied, her tone dripping with mischief.
Kanade: "…"
Great. Looks like this "siblings" act isn't going away anytime soon.
Nevertheless, Kanade pressed on. With resolute determination, he knelt in front of her, mirroring her posture.
"First," he began gravely, "I, Kanade Natsukawa, am a physically and mentally healthy high school boy—"
"Hmm, I can't say for sure. I haven't had the chance to confirm that myself…"
"…"
What exactly do you need to confirm, Senpai?!
Kanade drew a sharp breath but forced himself to stay calm.
"Anyway, as I was saying, I'm a boy. And you, Kasumigaoka Utaha, are without a doubt…" He paused, searching for the right words. "...an extraordinarily beautiful and charming person."
Her beauty aside, Utaha's determination, resilience, and ability to relentlessly pursue her goals were traits he deeply admired. Her knack for understanding and guiding others—even if her methods were occasionally overbearing—made her a remarkable senior. She had a way of supporting people from the shadows, even managing to help Eriri, though her approach was often harsh.
In truth, all these qualities combined to form the essence of Kasumigaoka Utaha. While some aspects could be troublesome, they only added to her allure.
"..."
Although Utaha hadn't responded yet, Kanade could tell she was pleased. Her mood seemed to grow brighter with every word.
Taking advantage of the momentum, he continued.
"That's why, given our current situation—sharing a room and, later, a bed—I need to make a few things clear."
"Oh? I'm all ears, Nii-san. Please, go on," Utaha said, leaning forward slightly with an amused smile.
Kanade's face grew more serious. "First, while I have confidence in my ability to restrain myself… I can't guarantee it completely."
He hesitated, his expression conflicted.
Confidence didn't equal certainty, especially when external factors were at play. But saying it aloud made him feel like he was preemptively justifying bad behavior—like a scumbag making excuses in advance: If I lose control, it's not my fault. Blame the circumstances.
It was the kind of thing a true sleazeball would say.
He could only hope Utaha wouldn't interpret it that way.
"Lose control around me…" Utaha murmured softly, her gaze thoughtful. Then, her lips curved into a sly smile.
"I don't quite understand, Nii-san~. Could you elaborate a little more~?"
Kanade didn't respond to Utaha's earlier teasing. Instead, he waited to ensure she'd absorbed his words before continuing.
"Secondly—because the situation is unique tonight, I hope Senpai can cooperate with me for once. Please, let's put an end to the teasing, at least for now. We can deal with everything else later."
"Eh? Nii-san~ That's so mean, accusing me of teasing you…" Utaha kept up her playful cosplay act, pretending to pout.
Kanade's expression, however, grew increasingly conflicted. After a moment of hesitation, he said, "Lastly, there's something I need to say, regardless of what happens. Senpai… I'd like to ask you, if possible, to stop doing these odd little things with other people.
"Most guys… we're simple creatures. If a cute girl initiates contact or does something seemingly special for us, it's easy to misunderstand and assume she has feelings for us. Guys are just that naïve and self-absorbed…"
Kanade knew this all too well. Back when he was pursuing Utaha, her playful teasing and small gestures had always sent his imagination spiraling out of control. Each little interaction made him wonder if she secretly liked him.
This delusion eventually snowballed, giving him the courage to confess—and leading to the awkward relationship they had now.
"..."
For once, Utaha didn't respond immediately. Instead, her expression darkened, her face visibly clouded over.
Kanade noticed her legs trembling slightly beneath her. He recognized this as a sign that her mood was worsening—tremors like these always grew in intensity when she was upset.
Kanade: "..."
I shouldn't have said it. I shouldn't have outright criticized the way she interacts with others.
He now felt like his words came across more as a harsh condemnation of her behavior than as genuine advice.
That's what he assumed. He thought Utaha was upset because he'd insulted her for not considering how her actions might affect others.
But in reality, the reason Utaha's face had darkened was entirely different.
How dare he think I'd treat everyone the same way I treat him?!
Who did Kanade think she was?
She was Kasumigaoka Utaha—a proud woman who had long since understood her feelings. After realizing that her attachment to Aki Tomoya stemmed only from gratitude for his support as a reader, she had poured all her genuine emotions into one person: Kanade.
For anyone else? She wouldn't even bother with polite small talk, let alone playful teasing.
"So, what you're saying is… you think I treat everyone the same way I treat you?" Utaha asked, her voice calm but her tone icy. "Is that what you believe?"
"I… I don't really know," Kanade admitted hesitantly, his gaze lowering.
He took a deep breath and continued, his voice tinged with bitterness.
"There was a time when I thought I might be special to you—irreplaceable even. But later, I came to understand… maybe you'd treat anyone the same way. Maybe it's just that I was there first, always showing up in your life uninvited, sticking around no matter what. That's why I got your attention, isn't it?"
The memories of his one-sided pursuit came flooding back. Though he tried to speak calmly, a sharp pain pricked his chest, a lingering wound from those days of unrequited feelings.
"Afterward, I made new friends, and I started to realize… not all special gestures stem from romantic feelings. Sometimes, they're just misplaced emotions seeking an outlet, or the actions of someone who considers you a close friend.
"But back then, I mistook those gestures for something else. I let myself believe in them… and that led me to make some terrible decisions."
He sighed, his tone growing heavier.
"In the end, I misunderstood myself—and others—because I clung to the past. I thought repeating old patterns would earn me the same feelings in return.
"But that's not how it works. If I don't present my true self, if I keep trying to be someone I'm not, even if I succeed… it'll feel hollow. Because what they care about isn't the real me—it's just a facade."
Kanade paused, his eyes reflecting a mixture of regret and resolve.
"That's why I've decided: from now on, I'll face people with my genuine self. If they can accept me for who I really am, then—and only then—will I truly feel happy."
"Sorry… I'm rambling. I should go," Kanade muttered, feeling guilty for burdening her with his thoughts.
As he moved to stand, Utaha suddenly leaned forward, placing her hands firmly on his shoulders.
"No," she said softly. Her usual teasing tone was gone, replaced by a rare sincerity. "I don't think it was meaningless at all."
Her expression had returned to normal—calm and composed—but her words carried a weight that silenced him.
In truth, her mood had already shifted the moment he admitted he wasn't sure about her feelings. From that point on, she had patiently listened to everything he said, absorbing his every word.
As a literary-minded girl, she was adept at reading between the lines. She now understood much more about Kanade—parts of him he had never shown her before.
Of course, certain things—like his mention of "other friends"—pricked at her possessiveness.
Who are these "friends" you're talking about, Kanade? she thought darkly, a faint scent of jealousy creeping into her heart.
But more importantly, she recognized his fundamental misunderstanding.
She wasn't treating everyone the way she treated him.
Only Kanade received this kind of "special treatment."
And now, it was time to set the record straight.
"Actually…" Utaha took a deep breath and locked eyes with him. Her gaze was uncharacteristically serious.
"Kanade…"
"…" He looked up, startled by her tone.
"I'm not this patient with everyone."
Kanade: "…"
Wait, seriously?