Hashim stood at the Academy's gate. He ignored both the students who glared at him and the ones who smiled or waved at him. He was sure that Jake was recalling their faces.
What he wanted to see was the faces of the ones who ignored him.
There weren't many. Most of the first years were completely ensorceled by Regus's antics, and almost everyone else was ingrained into this place's culture, so much so that they rejected the sort of change that Hashim heralded.
But right now, Hashim didn't want to change things. He wanted to understand.
What lives in darkness, blackest night,
What ends alone in human fright,
We stand above the endless plane.
Why did some memories hide? Why did some lurk around people's heads, hoping to be found? Why were others impossible to get rid of?
Our word alone brings forth its life,
We kill all light to summon strife,
Our judgement's course will never wane.
He didn't know. People was Jake's thing.
Hashim was confused. Something kept spitting verse into his head like some kind of poet. Or was that him? He didn't know that either. He didn't even know what was him and what wasn't.
Maybe Jake was right. Maybe he did need help. But that wasn't them. It was just him. Just Hashim.
He was confusing himself with their body. That was it, it had to be. None of the rest of them seemed to be having these problems. His name was Hashim, but they were Hashim Kamal.
He needed something, but he didn't know what. The others were there, but they were distant. The only thing he did know was that one of them had made a meeting with Abigail Williams at some point.
Who was Abigail, and who was Abigail Williams?
Hashim shook his head. That wasn't a thing. He was the only person who had multiple people inside, otherwise someone would have recognized him. Someone would have said it, and then...
He would be done. Done with living like any other person. Done with having control.
Hashim always wanted to have control. Even if the entire world burned, he wanted it to be because of his bad decisions. Endless lies upon lies piled on his shoulders.
I'm not good enough. They're better than me. I can't do it. I don't matter. Life is meaningless. I am useless. Everyone else has a purpose, but I don't. I exist as a background character in someone else's story.
No, no, no. It was all wrong. He was looking at the world the wrong way.
Hashim breathed out, and everything around him froze.
No, it wasn't frozen. It was slowed.
The song of the few birds brave enough to nest here, and even the distant cacophony of those settled into the lush land outside the Academy's practical boundaries, still came. They came nearly a note per minute, but they came. Hashim stood watching the students pass him in slow motion, and he felt Jake.... No, it wasn't Jake. He could see their intent, the purpose, meaning, trajectory, and end point of every movement. Not a one was lost to him, but he was still.
Like a monolithic rock, he watched the waves pass him by, occasionally brushing him with unbalanced accessories or uninhibited flailing limbs.
Every contact dulled the emotion of the one who had made it, but they never kept walking.
As inexorable as time itself. And yet, time was now Hashim's to control.
He didn't need help. Not him, not Hashim.
The ones who needed help were his enemies.
He would meet Abigail, and he would experiment with her and her ability. Show her a revelation, and he would rule her mind. Her heart would beat for him. One by one, he would claim pawns. Xavier would remove their values, and Hashim would replace them. Jake would twist their minds, and Toon would shatter their pride.
Life and freedom went together. So by giving up their freedom, they lost both the will and the need to live. They gave it to much less altruistic causes, even with his selfish goals that would raise them up.
Take what he wanted and give what he took. By life and freedom he would gain... what?
Not happiness. Certainly not joy. Not love, patience, passion, or his own life.
By life and freedom he would gain the only thing that really mattered.
Victory.