"Hū gǣþ hēo nū?"
"Hyre brēathung stæþollice is nū, and hēo gesēow swā hēo swā slæpende for ege. Cweðest þū þæt hēo awoc on āfǣrde, rihte?"
I lay still on the bed, eyes closed, hands resting at my sides, pretending to be fainted. Every muscle tensed, heart pounding in my ears. They hadn't tried to touch me or harm me yet, and the older voice, definitely a doctor, was inspecting me carefully, murmuring to other man in that language.
But something was more weirder now. I... could understand what they were sayiny. From the time I woke up again, I was able to understand them. And not just words but every nuance, every tone.
"When she wakes, please call me again. She must have been frightened."
"Yes, I will make sure to inform you."
"I shall take my leave now, Lord Kirill."
"I will see you escorted."
"Thank you. By the way, how are the Duke and Duchess? Have they heard the news?"
"I have not informed them yet. Considering her reaction, I believe it would be best to wait until she is calm and stable."
Their footsteps receded down the hall, echoing sharply in the silence. The door clicked shut behind them. I waited a few minutes, then carefully opened my eyes and pushed myself up.
What the hell…? How can I understand them now?
Every word, every subtle inflection… it was all clear. And there was more to it. I had strange and fractured memories, bleeding into my thoughts. Of someone named Meredia.
I lowered my gaze to my hands—my hands. Those hands belonged to her.
My eyes fell on my right wrist. A scar ran along the inside, pale against the skin, faintly reddish-yellow at the edges where the healing hadn't fully settled. It traced a jagged line, about three inches long, like a deliberate slit, deep enough to have drawn blood heavily.
The skin around it was slightly raised and dry, the kind of mark that screamed of pain.
Meredia had tried to commit suicide. That much I knew now. It wasn't a clean knowing, more like fragments shoved into my head....images, sensations, words. Her parents had forced her into marriage with some noble she barely knew. On top of that, they'd dumped the weight of becoming a proper noble lady on her shoulders overnight. It crushed her.
She wasn't built for that. She was spoiled, adored, smothered in affection all her life. Her parents, her brothers, even the staff had loved her, protected her. And then suddenly, it all flipped. Expectations, rules, duty and there was no way out. so, she broke.
She slit her wrist.
I pressed my hand harder against the scar on my right arm, my stomach twisting. Her pain wasn't just a story now. it lived in my bones, my skin, my chest.
But… the memories didn't stop there. In the broken flashes I saw her waking up after the attempt. Her family crying, apologising. They promised not to force her again. They swore she could marry the man she actually loved.
The man…
My brows furrowed. Who was he?
I tried to reach for the memory but it slipped through my fingers like water. Nothing. Just a blurred silhouette where a face or name should be.
I exhaled sharply, fingers trembling over the scar. Why can't I remember?
Was that the future I knew that she was supposed get married to the man she loved? A future that had shifted because she actually died… and I woke up in her body?
I let out a long, tired sigh. It was exhausting being trapped in a body that didn't feel like mine, in a world of swords, armor, and rules I didn't understand.
That man in metal armor… maybe… Kirill?
Kirill was Meredia's older brother by four years. Something called a paladin of the kingdom. That explained the heavy armor, the sword strapped to his side, and why he moved like he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.
And the other one I'd bumped into was Esther, her younger brother, just sixteen.
I stood up slowly, my knees still shaky, and made my way toward the massive mirror. Even though it scared me, I needed to see her—Meredia—again.
Her reflection stared back. Smooth, flawless skin, deep red hair that tumbled like silk, and eyes that could've belonged in a painting.
What a gorgeous girl you were…
I studied the face, tracing every detail. Her lips were delicate and full. Her eyes… like molten gold, wide, almost too expressive for someone so young. And then down to the body....soft curves, natural and warm. Her chest and hips flowed gently, arms and thighs carrying a soft weight.
The white gown fell to her knees.
Curiosity got the better of me and I lifted the hem a little, peeking at my legs, and then, on a sudden impulse, twirled.
Wow… she's… gorgeous.
The fabric swirled around me playfully, and I couldn't help but laugh a little at how absurdly graceful I felt in someone else's body.
I stopped mid-twirl realising this was my reality now, not a dream.
I swallowed hard, my hands hovering over my chest as if touching it could make me know her.
This wasn't just a body. This was Meredia's life, her burdens, her choices… and now it was mine.
"What if you were alive?" I asked, not her, but me. I had died too, in my world.
It came back like a punch. Lupus killed me. The slow crawl of pain, the empty pill bottles, the silence of that one-room apartment that used to be my grandmother's. Small-town whispers. No friends, no family for me.
On top of that, people saying I looked wrong and my parents had died because of me.
I never even got to know how.
And here I was. My life had been the complete opposite of Meredia's. I scraped by meanwhile she had everything. Her room alone was bigger than my entire home.
Was this… a second chance? Did God finally feel sorry for me?
Grandma always said everything happens for a reason. Maybe she wasn't wrong after all. Maybe I could… actually live this life and enjoy it.
Die without regrets, without wishes left undone.
I let out a small scoff. "Who am I kidding?"
The truth sat heavy in my chest. No matter where I went, I'd always carry one regret that I never found Grandma.
It was okay. At least, that's what I kept telling myself.
Just keep breathing, convince the heart and pretend it's normal.
My eyes drifted back to those curtains. Those things had been shut since the moment I woke up. I padded over and tugged them apart.
Big, locked window doors behind those curtains. Not just windows, proper doors. Outside, a balcony waited like something out of a royal drama.
Two chairs sat across a tiny table, vines curling around the railing, flowers hanging in soft clusters. I fiddled with the latch until it clicked and pushed the doors open.
Fresh air hit me instantly. It was almost sweet. I stepped out like a thief sneaking from someone else's house.
The sky was painfully blue, the kind you see in edited magazine pictures. Below stretched a garden bursting with colours and weirdly-shaped plants. From this distance, they looked like a mix of exotic flowers and cartoon props.
Beyond the garden, tall trees reached up like green spires, and tucked between them were buildings or rooms? Or… weird little houses? I couldn't tell. And the palace walls were curving around like a giant circle.
At the far edge near a gate, strange vehicles were lined up... not cars, not horses, something in-between. People moved back and forth, their outfits dark-coloured and simpler , nothing like the jeans and t-shirts of my world.
I gripped the railing, biting my lip.
Can I go out there? Will anyone even let me?
Just then, a faint creak rolled out from inside the room, and my body stiffened before my brain caught up.
The door? Someone opened the door.
I turned back toward the room, heart racing, just as a warm, hurried voice filled with joy yet sounding tearful, carried out.
"Eri… you woke up! My child!"
I froze. A woman' voice. Her voice cracked like she'd been waiting for this moment forever.
Another voice followed, it was deeper anr controlled. "Mother, she is resting. Do not press her so suddenly."
Kirill. He was here too. My legs felt like stone.
I scrambled up from the bed, pulse hammering. Would they be angry? Did they know I am not Meredia?
"Kirill, where is Eri? Esther said she has woken up."
"I… I do not know, Mother." His footsteps grew closer, firm against the floor. My chest tightened. He was walking straight toward me. "She was here. She must have risen and gone out—"
He stepped past the threshold, eyes scanning. Then he saw me. His shoulders dropped with relief, and a long breath escaped him.
"Eri… there you are."
I opened my mouth, but nothing came. What do I even say? How did Meredia talk? Do I call him brother? Do I smile? What if I slip?
So I just… stared.
He didn't look like Meredia at all. He was taller, his frame strong even in the simple white lace shirt and fitted trousers tucked into high boots. His brown hair caught the light, and his eyes were dark, like a deep ocean. He studied me with a seriousness that made my throat dry. His features were sharp but not harsh, like someone carved his face too carefully.
Behind him, she appeared draped in a flowing green gown. She shared Kirill's coloring, the same brown hair threaded with elegant streaks of white, though her eyes… her eyes were gold, just like Meredia's. She was beautiful.
She didn't hesitate for even a second. She walked straight to me and pulled me into her arms.
"Eri… my dear child. I am sorry. I am so terribly sorry. Forgive me, please. Forgive your mama."
Her voice broke at the edges.
She was the Duchess. Duchess Elowen. Mother of three, mistress of the household, the kind of woman who could make grown men flinch with just a glance. She loved Meredia dearly, but she was strict too. The type who gave hugs and scoldings in the same breath.
I buried my face in her neck. Her perfume… it was oddly familiar, soft and warm, like something I couldn't place but felt safe in, like grandma's hug.
My arms moved on their own, hugging her back. She clung to me tightly, sobbing into my neck, and for once, I didn't feel scared.
The words slipped out of my mouth before I even thought about it.
"I am fine, mother."
Kirill froze, his brows arching slightly. Then, to my surprise, he smiled.
Oh. So he does smile.
Duchess finally pulled back after what felt like forever, and her entire face was streaked with tears, her makeup completely ruined. Somehow, she looked even more human like this...beautiful, yes, but fragile too.
"Mery," her voice cracked, "you may wed whoever you wish. You shall not be burdened with any duties if your heart does not will it. Only… never again, child. Do not put me through this again."
She grasped my hands, trembling, and pressed kisses over them as though they were relics. "I cannot lose you."
My throat tightened, a lump swelling that I couldn't swallow down. Stupid me...crying whenever anyone else cried.
I nodded, my voice small. "I am fine. I will not… do such a thing again."
"I believe you," she whispered, broken between sobs.
Kirill finally stepped forward, his tall frame shadowing her as he gently wrapped an arm around her shoulders. His voice was calm, like a knight soothing a frightened child.
"Compose yourself, Mother. She is here, safe. That is all that matters."
Duchess pressed her sleeve to her eyes, trying to dab away the rivers of tears and smudged kohl, but she was still clinging onto my hands like I'd dissolve into mist if she blinked too long.
And then.....her mood switched. Her golden eyes narrowed, sharp like a hawk. Still warm, but with the whole "I brought you into this world and I can take you out" energy.
" Mery," she said softly, too softly, "do you understand the torment you put your family through? Kirill, Esther, your father… myself? We waited for you with hearts breaking, believing you were gone."
Oh, cool. Guilt trip speedrun.
Her hand cupped my cheek, thumb brushing under my eye like I was some tragic painting. "My child, you are precious beyond words. But you are also a daughter of this house. You cannot cast your life away. Not when you are bound to us all."
I stared at her, my brain screaming: Uh, hello? Wrong girl. The right girl died. But my mouth? My mouth betrayed me. "Yes, mother."
Kirill sighed, polite as always, but his tone had that brotherly "you're a disappointment but I'll still defend you in public" edge. " Mother speaks true. You frightened us more than you know, Meredia. Do not let us endure such dread again."
Great. Double tag-team. I stared into the fourth wall with dead eyes. How did real Meredia usually handle this stuff?
So I ducked my head, muttered, "Yes… won't happen again," and mentally added, mostly because I don't even know what I did the first time.