I couldn't stop replaying the training with Kairan, no matter how much I wanted my brain to pick literally any other topic. Unfortunately, my mind had other plans and none of them involved peace.
From a distance, he was terrifying, cold and, impossible to read. Up close…he was annoyingly gentle, calm and controlled..
Except for debut night. That memory still hit like a thunderbolt every damn time.
I raised my hand above my face, thumb brushing over the faint scar on my wrist. It was practically gone, but the ghost of the moment still crawled under my skin whenever I thought about it. Goosebumps prickled down my arms before I could stop them.
I rolled onto my side, staring at nothing.
What was Kairan doing right now?
Probably drowning in royal paperwork or scaring ministers for sport. That man radiated "I have responsibilities you peasants cannot comprehend."
He still terrified me… but there was something dangerously familiar about him too.
Whenever he got close, it felt familiar....like his presence recognized me before he did.
And his scent—
GIRL, GET A GRIP. HE TRIED TO END YOUR ENTIRE EXISTENCE, my internal red demon snapped.
He promised he wouldn't anymore, my unhelpful angel chimed in. And he didn't even hurt you today.
"Both of you shut up," I muttered, swatting the air like my intrusive thoughts were mosquitos.
Fantastic.
Now I was arguing with myself.
I rolled onto my other side and buried my face in the pillow.
"Sleep, Si—"
The curtains shifted.
In Valkathra's summer nights, the air didn't move like that. Not unless someone over six feet with a superiority complex slipped into my room uninvited.
I went perfectly still and clamped my eyes shut.
Quiet footsteps padded across the floor, they were heavy enough that I recognized the stride instantly. He stopped near the sofa. The cushions dipped under his weight.
A low hum, thoughtful. "I detest barging into a lady's chambers at night," he said. "But what remedy do I have when I find myself… helpless?"
Helpless? My foot. You walk around like a creep.
"Lady," he said, voice flattening with mild irritation, "must I repeat myself? I do not enjoy speaking to your back. It is discourteous. And I have no interest in… lustful pursuits."
Good, because I'm not interested in presenting my ass like an offering either, thank you.
And then, of course, he used his magic.
The world flipped in a blink. A jolt of air and, my stomach swooped. I was flat on my back before I even registered the movement.
A sharp gasp tore out of me. My eyes flew open in shock.
On the sofa across from my bed, he sat with one knee propped up, the other foot on the ground. Legs spread in that infuriating, confident posture only men with height and audacity possessed. His face lingered in shadow, but his tone carried the smirk for him.
"Oh," he murmured. "You're awake."
His voice dipped, teasing in the most disrespectfully calm way.
I focused on him, pulse tripping over itself.
"Your… Highness…"
A pause.
"Hm?"
"Can… can you light the candles? I can't see."
Yes. Out of everything I could've asked like the why, the how, the stop breaking into my room, my brain chose candles.
"Very well."
He rose smoothlyand moved around the room. One by one, candles flared to life as he passed them. There was no fire or flame, just a shimmer from his hand.
By the time he reached the ones beside my bed, he flicked his fingers. A spark bloomed from thin air, catching the wick instantly.
Light washed over his face.
His emerald eyes glinted. His cheekbones looked carved. His jaw was a menace.
Shut UP, Sia. He can literally murder you with a thought, my inner demon hissed.
He walked back to the sofa and lowered himself into the same wide-legged sprawl as before.
"You may sit up," he said.
"…I can?" I lifted my torso an inch, expecting some magical shove to pin me again. Nothing happened. With a cautious breath, I pushed myself upright.
I folded my hands in my lap, because what else do you do when a tall mystical menace makes himself comfortable in your bedroom?
"Your Highness," I finally managed, "why are you here at such an hour?"
He didn't answer immediately.
He simply watched me like he.
"You are not worthy of knowing that."
I bit back the urge to roll my eyes.
Not worthy? He had the audacity to say that while standing in my room, at this ridiculous hour, acting like manners were optional for royalty. The level of creepiness in his behavior should've been illegal.
I opened my mouth to argue, but before a single sound escaped, he disappeared. One blink and empty room. As if he had never been there at all.
I stared at the sofa, stunned.
"What the hell…" I muttered, dragging both hands through my hair. "This man is going to make me lose my mind."
Frustration burned through me. I collapsed onto the bed and yanked a pillow over my head, muffling my scream into the sheets.
"Go to hell, bastard."
I stayed buried under the pillow for a long moment, trying to suffocate the frustration out of my system. My heart thumped too fast, my mind ran in circles, and that prince's voice echoed like an annoying ringtone I couldn't switch off.
Eventually exhaustion won. The night swallowed me whole.
Morning came like it had a personal vendetta against my existence.
I yawned so hard my jaw clicked, slumping on the training bench while sunlight stabbed at my eyes. My limbs felt heavy, my back ached, and somewhere deep down I missed Kirill more than I wanted to admit.
He had left at dawn on paladin duty. I missed him more than I cared to admit because he was like a calm blanket.
Fenric and Kael stood beside my bench like two mismatched bookends.
Kael leaned sideways towards me, eyes shining with the enthusiasm of a puppy who had just learned how legs work.
"Lady Meredia, no worry! You strong fighter! Very, very heroic! Soon you smash enemies like—" He made a weird gesture that looked like he was squashing imaginary tomatoes in the air. "Like big warrior queen!"
Fenric's hand connected with the back of Kael's head before the boy finished his victory pose.
Kael yelped. "Sir Fenric! Why you hit?! I give motivation!"
Fenric exhaled with the pain of a man who has spent too many years babysitting. "You tell the lady she will smash her enemies like this vagye gestur. Does that sound heroic to you?"
"Yes! Heroic tomatoes!" Kael insisted proudly.
I snorted despite my mood, rubbing my forehead. "It's fine, Kael. Thank you. I needed… whatever that was."
Kael beamed.
Fenric pinched the bridge of his nose so hard I thought he might pull his own soul out.
I glanced at the training grounds.
And of course, Kairan was nowhere to be seen yet.
Just perfect.
I exhaled, swinging my legs. "Great. He's late. Again."
Kael leaned in again, probably to whisper another "motivational disaster," when he suddenly froze mid movement. Fenric straightened too.
I followed their gaze, and yeah, there he was.
Kairan walked in through the far entrance, moving like the entire training ground adjusted its schedule for him. Honestly, it annoyed me how effortless he made it look.
Fenric and Kael immediately stepped away from me as kairan told them to yesterday.
I stood up from the bench, palms a little sweaty, spine very much trying its best to look dignified.
"Good morning, Your Highness," I said, keeping my voice polite and soft, like I absolutely did not spend last night calling him names under my pillow.
His gaze slid to me with that slow, assessing weight that made my stomach twist.
"Lady Meredia," he said, tone perfectly even, "I trust your sleep was… restful?"
Restful. Sure. Who needs peace when you have a demonic-condescending-elf-prince thing stalking your bedroom at midnight??
"Yes," I said sarcastically. "Quite restful."
Kairan hummed. "Hm. Fascinating. I had assumed otherwise, given that I distinctly heard you refer to me as a 'bastard' before retiring."
My heart stopped.
What.
WHAT.
My face heated instantly. "I–I did not—that was–I wasn't—"
He lifted one eyebrow. "If you intend to insult someone, Lady Meredia, I recommend at least understanding who can hear you."
Oh my godm Kill me rigight her on the training ground. Let the sand swallow my corpse.
"I apologise, Your Highness," I managed, completely refusing to meet his eyes now.
"Apologies," he said mildly, "are effective only when paired with improvement."
His attention stayed locked on me, and I swear, even the sun felt like it was waiting to see what he said next.
"Come," he said. "We start."
I followed him, cheeks still burning, dignity dragging behind me like a dead horse.
Morning ruined. Can the ground open up and eat me now?
We stepped onto the training ground, the sand cool under my boots. I tried to focus on my stance, my breathing, literally anything except the fact that the crown prince overheard me calling him a bastard like some unhinged street urchin.
Kairan circled me once, hands clasped behind his back. He always moved like he was inspecting a weapon, not a person.
"Your posture," he said, "is marginally better than yesterday. Marginally."
That sounded… good?
"I'll take that as a compliment," I muttered before I could stop myself.
He didn't even give me the satisfaction of a glance. "Do not. It was not one."
Of course not. Why would life be kind?
I got into position with the wooden practice sword. My arms already felt like lead from yesterday's training with him. But it was worth it but because I got to smell his scent, feel his hard chest—
"Your mind is elsewhere," he said.
"I'm fine," I answered quickly, shaking off my head.
"No," he said. "You are not. You are distracted, and distraction is the mother of incompetence."
Okay.
Wow.
"Is this how you speak to everyone?" I asked, annoyed.
"No," he replied calmly. "Only to those who require correction."
I gripped the sword tighter. "You could have just said I seem off."
"Hm."
I wanted to throw the sword right at his face, gently and respectfully.
He lifted his hand and tapped the wooden blade I held. "Strike."
I swung. He caught my wrist mid motion effortlessly.
"Too slow," he said. "And your grip is uneven. If you held a quill that way, your handwriting would resemble a wounded goat."
"What does that even mean?" I asked, incredulous.
"It means," he released my wrist, "you must learn to hold things properly."
Kairan continued. "You lack discipline, precision, strength, awareness, strength and stamina."
Then he paused, eyes flicking to mine.
"But you have resolve. That alone keeps you from being unsalvageable."
My mouth fell open. "Was that… a compliment?"
He didn't blink. "No."
"It sounded like—"
"It was not."
"I think it was."
"It was not."
Despite myself…I took that as a compliment because this man would never praise me.
Kairan narrowed his eyes at me. "Do not get smug. We are far from finished."
He stepped back, posture straightening. "Again."