Meanwhile, because Wayne's scene was limited for the day, Pei Li took the chance to visit Dr Herli, whom she was supposed to meet once a week. Wayne was worried she was going alone, but he had no choice since he was tied down to the tight filming schedule.
Pei Li wasn't very familiar with the place, but she was confident it was the right clinic as she followed Penny's notes of the clinic's description and address. She went up to the reception and used Penny's name before she waited briefly to meet with Dr Herli.
Pei Li studied the place. Never in her wildest dream she would come visit such a place back then.
Bright yellow lights, making the place look so posh compared to the shabby village pharmacy.
Tiled sparkling floors compared to the spotty black tiles of the village pharmacy.
Friendly staff versus a grumpy old man as a pharmacist.
No matter how sick she was, she would only visit the shabby pharmacy by the village cause it was where all the poor villagers in the slum could barely afford. It was also where the kind old man would allow the villagers to owe him. At times, if they were lucky, he would waive the payment.
She wondered how expensive the bills per session would come out to here. The more she wondered, the guiltier she was cause she knew Wayne was paying for them.
"Penny, you may come in…" The nurse was calling, but Pei Li was deep in her thoughts, forgetting she was filling in for Penny till the nurse came and approached her.
"Penny? Your turn is up." The nurse repeated, which startled her. That's when she remembered she was coming as Penny.
She quickly smiled and followed the nurse to the psychiatrist's room.
She was delighted to see Dr Herli for the first time. It had never been so comfortable for her to meet a doctor back then, especially when she often had lady's issues. Though this time she wasn't visiting due to a lady's issue, she was at ease for once.
"Hi Penny… How do you feel today?" Dr Herli warmly greeted her, which made Pei Li's smile grow wider.
Dr Herli could tell the difference the instant she stepped in. Penny had not smiled so much before. She was often more serious.
"I'm Pei Li. I'm sure you have heard a lot from Penny." Pei Li finally introduced herself, and Dr Herli smiled and nodded at her expectations being right.
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Pei Li." Dr Herli said warmly as Pei Li nodded.
"So, what do we do here?" Pei Li asked excitedly.
"Pei Li, are you aware of your condition?" Dr Herli prompted as she nodded.
"Penny had always kept details of her daily life in this notebook. I do the same too. That way, it is less suspicious for others." Pei Li explained with a bright smile.
Dr Herli could tell she was the weaker one who often needed to be protected.
"That's good. Where is Penny now? Does she return at a certain hour?" Dr Herli asked before taking down notes.
"She let me take control back for now…" Pei Li was a little sceptical about letting out the truth.
Dr Herli prompted. "Is there a specific reason for this that you can tell?"
"She wants me to look after Wayne, who has a busy schedule." Pei Li said briefly.
Dr Herli wasn't satisfied, but she knew her limit. She also knew Pei Li and Penny had their reasons.
"How's your relationship with Wayne?" Dr Herli changed to a more relaxing topic.
Pei Li instantly smiled and excitedly explained what had happened recently, especially how she realised their relationship had developed into another stage. She also told Dr Herli about her close relationship with Violet, which made the session end happily.
Dr Herli had her doubts about what was going on. She found it strange for Penny to let Pei Li take over indefinitely. She was doubtful that Penny had left for good. There was something Pei Li wasn't sharing. For now, all she could do was monitor their conditions and keep Wayne updated.
Meanwhile, Sebastian took a heavy sigh before leaning closer across the table.
"Jan, I had never liked americano. I love mocha, but now, I drink tea… Without sugar." He said before pushing away the cup of coffee, and watched as Janice winced at his sarcasm.
"I had always been interested in cooking, but I didn't get the chance to. Didn't my mother tell you how she taught me when I was young, or did you not care?" He lifted the teaspoon, wanting to put it aside.
"I didn't like chicken soup because of the celery, but I found out that I could accept it after hours of boiling it to nothing." He was knocking the teaspoon on the table at this rate as though forcing every point into her.
She watched him in anguish, but he didn't stop.
"I still like stir-fried noodles. It has always been my favourite. I nearly forgot this fact. All that you knew was all just to accommodate my lifestyle as an artist. What do you even know that is the truth?" Janice teared up as she listened to him, her pretence breaking.
Still, that didn't stop him.
"I have lost who I am, and it's awfully… terrifying... I don't recognise myself anymore." He closed his eyes to blink his tears away.
He put down the teaspoon and leaned back into the chair.
"Exhausted…" He lamented while she was still sobbing in front of him.
"I haven't been well, Jan. I'm tired… So tired that I hope you could sign the papers and let us live our own lives…" The shock in her eyes from what he just said made her gasp sharply.
"Even if you don't want to sign the papers, I can wait, but…" He raised a finger at her as he glared.
"... don't act as if nothing had happened, Jan," He said with a lot of hatred, and it hurt her very much that she closed her eyes, enduring the pain.
So this is what it feels like to be pierced by a sword, but in the disguise of words… Janice thought to herself.
"There are many ways of loving someone. It's too late for us, and letting go is the only way we can move on. My number is still the same, whether you sign the papers or not. Even when you're hurt or injured, if I am in the vicinity, I would drop by to see you if I could. I would allow you to send me messages to make up for your sudden feeling of loss and not being used to having me. But…" He changed his tone at the last word to be stern.
"That's all I will do. I will wait till you're coping well with this fact. Till then, let's give each other some breathing space." Sebastian got up and left instantly, leaving her crying to herself in denial.
He came prepared, having texted his ex-mother-in-law about Janice's arrangement yesterday. He had even paid for the bill.
He was maintaining his composure as he stepped out. The moment he saw the crowd of fans again, though disguised properly, he could feel his anxiety creeping up. He hastily walked to the next street to hide and watch Janice safely being brought home by her mother.
However, he began to feel suffocated as he clutched his chest and bent down to catch his breath. Before he could calm himself, he felt someone pulling him away to a corner, and his fans were beginning to chase them.
At the speed of light, he couldn't make out who it was till they hid in a dark alley further down from the building, under a piece of tarp. Only then did he see the pair of gentle eyes staring back at her as they squatted in it.
"Vi… What are you doing here?" He asked worriedly as though trouble was brewing.
"If I'm not here, wouldn't they catch you when your anxiety breaks down?" She scolded softly as she leaned in closer to him and put a finger over his lips when she heard stomping footsteps closing in.
"That way! Go, try that way! He must be there!" Someone shouted in the crowd as more stomping was softening to a distance.
She wanted to peek outside to check if everyone had stomped away, but instead she was pulled into a tight hug. Though it was crushing her, she could feel her time had stopped for a moment. It was as though they both had transcended into their own realm.
His hammering heartbeat earlier slowed down while hers was racing even faster. Sebastian sighed softly, breathing in her sweet scent. It was the best comfort he could get in the midst of his chaotic situation as he took his mind off the meeting with Janice. He was reluctant to let go of her petite body in his arms.
That's when he came to a realisation that Violet had been silently supporting him in discovering himself again. All that he had told Janice, not one of it Janice had ever known, perhaps but Violet over a brief period of time, didn't just know of it but made him recall what he had lost.
A part of him wished Janice was 10% of Violet, then perhaps he might just forgive her, but he had already long given up.
A cat leaping out of the dustbin startled the couple as they pulled away from their comforting embrace. Their nervous gazes met with each other as he forced himself not to caress her blushing cheeks.
"You're alright to head back for your night scene?" Violet checked as he blinked, surprised she still knew his schedule.
"It's not for you to worry. I will get back myself." He said sternly before wanting to step out from the tarp, feeling bad, only for Violet to hold his arm.
"I'm still your assistant. I'm heading to the same place. I don't find anything wrong with sending my employer back along the way." Violet said sternly as Sebastian frowned.
"Why would you return? Aren't you busy with your travel logs?" He reprimanded as she rolled her eyes at her quick-witted self.
"The hotels up there are great to be reviewed, especially the one you kicked me out of." She retaliated before dragging him to her car, parked near a park.
Meanwhile, during the long drive home, Janice realised she was slowly coping with the divorce. She knew he was right about her needing to get used to it before willingly letting go of him. This time, her mother felt she was strange for not rebelling but willingly followed her to return to the family house.
Over the days, she went on with her job like it was routine, but when nightfall came, she would cry her heart out, nursing a dying love for Sebastian. She tried getting intoxicated at home, but no matter how much she drank, when she was sober again, the pain was still hurting. Instead, she slowly began to pour all her focus into her work and soon turned into a workaholic.