Everything else went smoothly from then until I got to class.
The halls were bustling with people as always, the sound of students shouting over eachother to make themselves heard among their friend group making my ears ring and I could feel pressure starting to build on my temples.
I quickly made my way to my class on the second floor and hung my bag on the back of my chair, taking out my phone to pass the time until the teacher arrived to the classroom. The sound of footsteps approaching my desk made me look up, and I could see the typical bullies making their way to me.
They weren't good at bullying, given they were also 12 year olds and I've already experienced the dangers of the streets of London past 10pm. They were more like a bunch of annoying flies I wish I could slap away.
I saw that the group was pointing at me and snickering, pointing fingers in my direction. A huff let my lips as I looked away once again, trying to focus on my phone.
Once the bell rang, I thought that was it, but a round of slaps over the head snapped me out of my false hopes. That bloody group decided to be a pain, as usual, and decided to slap me as they each walked to their desks.
My jaw clenched in annoyance, and I could feel a familiar twitch in my eye. I was very tempted to get up and give them a piece of my mind, but the teacher came into the classroom before I had the chance.
I sighed, taking out my stuff— it was the first class in the morning, which meant: English literature and language. How great.
Boredom easily pulled my attention away from the lecture as I gazed lazily out the window, my chin against my fist. I watched the birds fly and interact with eachother, but I got confused when they all suddenly seemed startled and fled away as small black dots in the sky.
I raised an eyebrow and shifted in my seat to try to see whatever it was that scared the birds away, and that was when I saw that hellish wolf again.
Now that I got a better look at it, I could almost admire the way its grey fur shone with the golden sunlight, making it seem silver to the naked eye. The animalistic, piercing blue gaze staring straight up at my position near the window with a flint of intelligence that made me think it knew what it was doing perfectly. It knew who I was. It knew I was scared of it. And it relished on that knowledge.
Its jaws were still coated with blood, but this time there wasn't any mangled flesh dripping from them. It wasn't snarling. It was just observing me.
We held eye contact. Neither I nor the beast moved for a few moments that felt like centuries.
"Ethan!"
The sound of my name being called pulled me away from the staring contest with the grey wolf. "What- uh- yeah?" I silently cursed when I stumbled over my words. The classroom burst out in laughter, a few of the students mocking my words— the annoying buzz of those snotty flies seated behind me making my eye twitch again— and the teacher, Mr Johnson, sighed with a shake of his head.
"Okay! Quiet down!" Mr Johnson's voice was loud, but not louder than the laughs ringing in my ears. My breathing felt shallow and my heart was drumming in my chest, but I tried to ignore it when the teacher spoke again. "I asked: what did the author mean in this poem?"
I looked around the white board, but nothing was written nor projected on it. I cursed under my breath when I realised that he was asking about something written in the book. The book I hadn't even opened.
"He, uh-" I tried to speak, but the teacher cut me off with exasperation.
"Ethan, open the-... The book and start paying attention in class, please."
I could tell that Mr Johnson was trying to hold back a curse in the class full of 12 year olds, so I just nodded, my head slightly hanging in shame as the snickering entered my ears once again, wrapping around my brain like a burning chain that made my eyes start to gather tears.
My chest expanded with each deep breath that I took, blinking tears away. It took me a few seconds to calm down before I could open the book in the page we were in, my hands were now only trembling slightly as I tried to follow the lecture.
But I felt a paper ball hit the back of my head, snapping me out of my concentration and making the feeling of anger and annoyance burn in my chest. The flames grew from my heart and burned up my throat, but I kept my mouth shut and settled on gritting my teeth.
Another paper ball was thrown, this time from my right. It crossed my vision as it landed on the side of my desk, but I ignored it.
Or at least I tried to before another ball of paper was thrown my way, hitting the side of my head and making me huff in annoyance.
"Pshh, aye! Read it!" The whispered yell reached my ears, and I ignored it.
But ignoring it never helps. It only encouraged those pesky flies, who took advantage of my lack of reaction to leave more itchy and red bites across my skin. In the form of paper balls and hissed whispers thrown my way, of course.
The class seemed almost eternal, and my only saving grace came when the bell rang. Huh, "saved by the bell" indeed.
I put all my stuff in my backpack and made a run for it before everyone left the classroom, blending into the crowds as was usual for me. Just another kid in a sea of kids.
My legs dragged me towards the restroom, and I made sure no one else was inside before I shut the door, locking it from the inside. The backpack fell from my slacking grip with a dull thud. I kicked it away from my space and my hands grabbed onto the edges of the sink with a vice grip.
I was breathing deeply, I knew. I could tell that I needed to calm down even if I felt completely detached from my body.
The energy inside me felt like too much, making my hands tremble the stronger my grip got on the off-white sinks, making my knuckles turn a similar colour. I had to do something. Run. Kick. Scream. Cry. Whatever. I just needed something to do with myself before this burst of emotions overwhelming my mind broke it as they threatened to.
My hands moved before I walked them to, the left one grabbing my own hair with a tight fist as my right hand balled tightly and I hit my thigh.
Again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
I hit it again.
I hit myself again.
Hot tears ran down my cheeks before I could try to will them back.
Why now? I was doing so well.
'Liam is going to be so disappointed in me.
I couldn't tell when I calmed down. I just slowly came back to be.
I numbly realised that I was now sitting against the restroom's cold, tile walls. My left hand now having a loose grip on my messed up hair and my right just hanging limply by my side.
Liam was at school. Dad was working. Mum... Didn't care.
Guess I'll just have to suck it up for the rest of the day. As always.
I slowly got up from the floor, if I were older I was sure that my joints would complain from the strain. I almost stumbled to the side when I tripped on my backpack, but I managed to catch myself.
My legs stumbled over to the sink, and I grimaced at the sight that met me.
The ugly green colour of my eyes were now complimented by a light red colour, my bottom eyelids slightly puffy and my cheeks blushed from rubbing the salty tears away, which only further made the mole under my left eyes.
A long suffering sigh left my lips, which had almost reddened from biting them. I splashed my face with cold water and dried it with my sleeves. The next thing I noticed was just how ruffled up my hair was, sticking from all sides and the low ponytail not even being recognisable anymore as it was hidden by the rat nest of a hair I had.
I rolled my eyes at myself, my hands slowly ripping the hair tie from my tangled black curls and redoing the ponytail.
I heard a bell right, which confused me as I hadn't thought it had been so long, but as I took out my phone and looked at the time I soon realised that the third period just started.
Shit.
The teacher will definitely call home about missing the entirety of the second period.
Fuck. That's not good. Not good at all.
I didn't even want to imagine the look on my dad's face when he got notice that I skipped class again.
So, I gathered my backpack from the ground, only putting it on one shoulder as I quickly tried to unlock the door with my free hand, key word: tried, since I failed a couple of times due to the tremors making my grip unsteady, but third time's the charm and I finally stepped out of the bathroom.
Students were still walking around the halls, so I won't be too late to my third class. And, I wasn't.
I managed to get into my math class moments before the teacher came in, and I sat in my usual seat by the window. This time I didn't dare look out of it in fear of seeing the grey wolf again. Just the mere thought of it sent shivers down my spine, making me take a shuddering breath and focus back on the teacher's explanation.
The rest of the school day went by in a blur. I'd have to ask for notes in the class group chat.
As the final bell rang, I sighed as a sense of relief washed over my body like a small wave on a hot summer day.
I gathered all of my things in my backpack. In this class I sat almost right next to the door, so I made sure I was the first one to get out.
Now, I usually walk to a nearby park to wait until my brother comes to get me, and I usually use that time to read a chapter or two of my favourite web novel. But after I saw that creature in the morning a sense of uneasiness clawed at my mind for each step I took.
But... I was probably imagining things, right? 'Liam didn't see anything, and no other student saw the wolf outside of school. There aren't any wolves in London! If anything it'd be in Scotland.
The flight of the birds outside the school's window echoed in my mind when the pigeons at the park flew away as I approached my usual bench. Even when I tried to shake it off I couldn't.
The birds had seen it. Or at least sensed it.
No... Surely not. It must've been a coincidence. No human saw it, the birds surely flew away for another reason.
Mum must be right. I must be going crazy.
I let the thought sink in as I sat quietly on the bench.
After a few minutes of probably staring off at the distance— dissociation was what 'Liam had called it—, I felt a large warm hand settle on my shoulder, and I almost jumped out of my skin as I twisted around to look at the person behind myself.
"Bloody hell!-" I began cursing, but I was cut off by my brother's amused laughs.
"Language, E.T.!" He playfully chastised me as he poked the side of my head. "Or I'm gonna have to clean your mouth with dish soap."
I huffed and crossed my arms with a roll of my eyes, his deep blue ones still glinting with a brightness matching his grin as he shoved me off the bench and I stumbled.
"C'mon! Let's go home, bet you're tired of everyone already."
Now that was something I couldn't deny, nor did I try to, and instead I settled on silently following my big brother back to the car.
"How was school?" He asked as we walked, to which I answered with a quiet grumble.
"Did you eat?" He asked me again. This time I remained silent, and he left it at that. The rest of the walk to the car was silent, and the sound of the radio filled the ride home.
The stench of cigarettes assaulted my nose the second I stepped through the door after 'Liam. I could see the grimace twisting his usually calm features, it immediately switched into a smile when he turned to me.
"C'mon, let's get some lunch in you, otherwise you'll keep being a shrimp." He teased, using a hand to push me forward and towards the kitchen.
Out of the corner of my eye I could see our mum, who was sitting on the couch while she scrolled through Facebook and smoked that bloody cigarette, but my brother's taller body soon blocked her from view as he ushered me into the kitchen.
I soon got seated, took out my phone from my pocket, and the smell of cooking food started to fill the air where cigarette smoke used to be.
My stomach rumbled loudly and my mouth watered. I hadn't even noticed I was so hungry until now, and my gaze was ripped away from the screen so I could focus on 'Liam's cooking. He was humming a popular song I swore I've heard before on the radio, shifting in his feet in the rhythm in his own little version of a dance.
"What are you cooking?" I asked quietly as I swallowed thickly as I swallowed thickly, and he must've seen the hunger in my eyes since he chuckled and shook his head in amusement.
"Steak with rice and eggs." My brother replied, and my stomach growled loudly again just at the thought, which only made 'Liam laugh louder. "Careful, the beast's hungry!"
I grumbled at his teasing, and I could feel my cheeks heating up in embarrassment when, as if in response, my stomach rumbled once again.
'Liam didn't take long to finish cooking after that, since eggs don't usually take long to get done. He set a plate in front of me and another one in front of himself.
My eyebrows pinched with a small frown when I saw the lack of a third plate. "What about mom?"
"She's grown, she can make her own food." 'Liam's words seemed light-hearted as he accompanied them with a shrug, so I left it at that.
"When are you gonna teach me how to cook? I'm grown too." I said instead.
My brother snickered at my words and reached over to pinch my cheek, which made me let out a small noise of complaint. "You're not, you're just a little guy," he said in a tone that I would've taken as patronising of it came out of anyone else. "You can't even reach the top shelves."
"Yes, I can!" I complained, and— no, I wasn't pouting.
"Oh, please! You're, like... A hundred nothing!"
"No, I'm not!" I swatted his hand again once he reached out to pinch my cheek again. "I'm a hundred forty three!"
"Same thing!" My brother laughed, and I puffed my cheeks.
Lunch progressed like that, with light-hearted banter and the taste of 'Liam's wonderful cooking making me forget whatever happened at school today.
Nothing too relevant happened that day. 'Liam went to work at four o' clock, mum bossed me around to do chores, I grumbled and bickered with her, and I went to bed with the blinds down and my night light on.
The nightmare went like this:
I was floating in the middle of nothing. Pure, unsettling darkness surrounding me and depriving me of my senses.
I couldn't speak. Couldn't hear. Couldn't feel anything around me, and I was pretty sure that I wasn't breathing either.
The feeling of something tugging at my chest made me look down, and I finally saw something. I was wearing my pajamas, the light blue colour contrasting starkly against the dark void I was in.
A small point peeked up from my chest, making a small tent in the shirt. And, almost immediately, I felt the pain of my heart bursting and ribs breaking bring and undescribable agony to my young body.
I choked with my own blood, but somehow I was still alive.
The dark red liquid spilled from my open mouth as I tried to scream. But I couldn't.
Hot, thick tears made my vision blur as my body tensed and writhed under the pain. Sickening crunches filled my ears as well as the sound of my own gasping and coughing.
Something broke skin, and I cried out again.
The head of a small, slithering creature peeked out from my bloody chest. It bit at the fabric of my shirt to get out from my human confinements.
Green eyes met mine, and the snake hissed at me, spitting venom in my face before it crawled out of the gaping and bleeding hole in my chest. By that point the pain was muffling anything else except the feeling of the cold scales in that creature's body sliding along my skin, up my chest and wrapping itself around my neck.
Other snakes made their painful way out of my body by that aching pit where once was my heart, the animals wrapped themselves around my ribcage, my arms, my legs, and my head.
Their hold on my suddenly tightened. The bones in my arms and legs broke first before the pressure around my skull became too much and everything went black again.
I woke up with a sharp gasp as my chest heaved up and down with rattling breaths.
My hands patted my body.
Okay. No hole in my chest. No broken bones. No crushed skull. And no snakes.
I was... Fine...
I was... Fine.
I was fine.
Everything was fine.
It took me a few more moments to calm down, the moonlight coming through the opened window giving an eerie vibe to my dark room.
My lips pursed when I felt that something was... Off... But I quickly shook it off as I closed the window and turned my night light on.
A sense of déjà vu made my thoughts sway inside my brain. I never turned off the light, did I?
My eyes moved to the window, the blinds were up and curtains open, letting the silver light enter to my room. I could feel my heart racing in my chest once again— I never sleep with the window open. But it is...
I shook my head harshly enough to make me dizzy. No. No. It's okay. I probably just forgot.
A noise coming from the entrance made me jump out of my skin and a cold shiver went up my spine.
I slowly got my bare feet off the bed as I tried not to make much noise. Just in case. I stood in my tip toes and made my way to my door, my heart threatening to either burst or completely stop as my hand went to the handle and I slowly turned it.
The light wasn't on.
My head peeked from behind the door and my heart almost stopped when I saw a figure at the end of the hallway, but it calmed down when I recognized it.
I didn't know whether it was a blessing or a curse, but it was just my dad at the end. He was stumbling and slurring, so he was drunk too. Great, mum's not gonna like this.
With a sigh to calm my nerves, I deliberately walked towards him. 'Liam's door was closed, so he was probably already sleeping. That thought didn't do much to calm me down. Quite the opposite.
"Dad..." My voice was quiet and rough from not using it as I stood at a safe distance from him.
His head snapped up when he heard me, but it just made him stumble back in his drunken state.
"You should go to bed." I continued speaking when he didn't verbally answer me.
Just more silence followed, so I took it as a sign to step forward and place my hand on his forearm, my movements slow-paced enough for him to follow them and back away if he wanted.
But, of course, I over estimated how his drunk brain worked, since he took a few moments before making a noise and slapping my hand away.
"Get off, you snotty brat." His words were slurred and drawn out, tumbling on his feet as he stepped forward before he tripped and held harshly onto my shoulder to keep himself upright.
A sigh left my lips as I held onto his arm to make him lean on me as support while I led him to the couch, since my mum damned sure didn't want a drunken idiot on her bed— her words, not mine.
The trip to the living room was slow, his feet getting stuck on air or swaying as if the carpet was taken out from under them while he kept babbling nonesense.
Once we made it to the living room, I let him down with deliberate moves.
"Do you want water?" I asked him quietly, not wanting nobody else to wake up at the sounds.
"Go fuck yourself." He slurred in reply, his hand coming up in a sloppy yet somehow quick movement to slap me across the face.
My cheek reddened and burned with the hit as I stumbled back, tripping over the coffee table behind myself and accidentally pushed some things down as I fell to the floor.
"Ouch..." I muttered as I rubbed my lower back, and by then I was sure that all that noise had definitely woken someone up since I could hear hurried steps walking towards here.
Not even a second later, my brother burst into the room. His hair was somehow still perfect even if he had just jumped out of bed.
"Ethan!" He exclaimed when he saw me on the floor, immediately kneeling down next to me and placing a gentle hand over my reddened cheek, his thumb rubbing the skin under my eye. "Are you okay? Does anything hurt?"
"I'm okay, it's nothing..." I grumbled, my eyes snapping out when I heard a noise come from our father and I noticed how 'Liam almost seemed to try to cover me with his arm to prevent me getting hurt further. But the noise had just been a snore.
My brother and I both let out a sigh of relief, and his attention shifted back to me, the worry evident in his ocean blue eyes.
"Come on, let's get you back in your room." He whispered as he lift me up by the armpits and I placed my feet under myself to stand up.
'Liam held his hand in mine, my smaller one being completely wrapped with his usual comforting warmth as we walked back towards my room.
When we reached it, he made me lay back down on my bed and he sat on the edge, the mattres dipping with our weights as he ran his hand through the bird nest that were my curls.
"I'm sorry you had to go through that." He whispered, his voice quiet with a sorrow that almost made me want to cry.
"It's okay." I tried to reply.
"No, it's not."
I left it at that. We've had this conversation enough times that I knew he wouldn't budge in that mindset.
The silence between us stretched for a few more seconds before he made a move to get up, but I stopped him in a panic by grabbing his hand.
"Don't go... Please..." My voice came up way shakier than I intended it to.
My brother's featured scrunched up in concern as he sat back down, his hand moving from my head to cup my cheek and making me look up at him.
"Hey, hey... What's wrong, hmm? You seem shaken up."
He paused.
"More than usual."
I looked away, hiding my face in his hand as I hesitated, my heart racing once again as I remember that green and red nightmare and those unsettling wolves— or maybe just one unsettling wolf, I was pretty sure it was the same wolf both times— but... How could I tell him? He'd think I'm even crazier than I already were.
"I had a nightmare," I whispered, curling up on my self. "A very bad one."
His gaze softened in understanding, knowing not to push further for an answer.
"Want me to sleep here tonight?"
I knew that it was childish. I was twelve, goddamnit, I couldn't be asking my big brother to sleep with me every time I had a nightmare.
And yet, he was the only thing that made me feel safe in that moment.
"Please."
He nodded and opened the covers to lay down next to me, which I responded to by shifting closer to him and wrapping an arm around his torso.
My brother's comforting warmth and presence engulfed me when he wrapped his bigger arms around me, and I had no problem falling asleep afterwards.